@Panopticon: Could you give me some more details about your ayahuasca experience, from aquiring to preparation (was it difficult?) and the general trip? I've read quite alot about it and find it to be increasingly the one drug I can still get truly excited about trying.
Sure.
The aquisition and preparation felt way too easy to be true. Since it's legal to possess certain plants that contain dmt and moai I simply went to a shamanist website and got me some mimosa hostilis bark and some syrian rue seeds. I was going to use them for incense(like the package said)
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but...
My pet monkey got a hold of it and boiled the mimosa hostilis on the stove for 25-30mins until the water was completely red. He ground up the rue seeds and spoon fed them to himself as he chased the taste away with fruit and water. I could tell in the monkeys eyes that these seeds were awful tasting. Monkey gestured to me that next time he would rather put them horrid shits inside some capsules, to avoid that taste. 15 mins later he was ready to drink up the red drink(dmt). Monkey intuitively knew that drinking it slow was the way to go, to avoid puking.
as for the general experience itself: Its The One. DMT is the one. You realize when you are on it that this is something that has been there the whole time and you never fully grasped it until now. It takes you to the core of your dna, your very being, your humanity, and then it takes you further away from it. You may experience disembodied conciousness, near death experience, a sense of being in a different world(and being able to look around and see details of it), and MANY say, being contact. The beings include clowns, gnomes, reptiles, insectisoid aliens, gods, devils, ect. Others report bardo states and other mystical shit(for lack of better terms). Oh, and a feeling of ecstasy that no synthetic chemical will ever come close to touching.
I was far too uninformed at the time of my own experience(or my monkey's I should say) to accurately identify what was really going on. All I know is that I, like many, came into it with a hope and expectation. I then found that a DMT trip is not what you want, but what you need. Its not going to be fun, but it's going to be extremely profound. It is very personal, and you may find yourself shutting off your music and entertainment just to listen to IT.
Looking back, I had a funny sequence of visions throughout. At the beginning I was picturing myself tossing the ayahuasca out on the side of the highway, or giving it away to a friend and telling them DO NOT do this shit. I was freaking the fuck out because it felt like I uncovered the meaning of life before I was supposed to, and I was sinning. I thought the DEA was coming for me, I thought I O'Ded....it was scary. Body disequilibrium is no good.
Then....after "the purge", which can come by way of puking, shitting, crying, or in my case, telling a close sibling that you love them for the first time ever, things began to change for the better. for the much better. I then began seeing visions of myself preparing ayahuasca teas to my family and friends, and telling bosses and coworkers to get over the meaningless bullshit at work and to just embrace the true things in life, which in my eyes was love and memories shared. I guess for me it awakened me on the now and the near because I have a tendancy to be absent minded and future oriented. I love my family and I value every second I have with them. I cant miss out on things I may feel regret about later. Have to make the best out of this dream we are living.
I guess you can say I was experiencing a bout of megalomania because I kind of believed that I could talk to people about the message I learned and they would instantly understand, as if i were Jesus or something. I kept constantly reminding myself that there was no possible way I was going to forget the details of the experience....BUT The next day I woke up and felt back to normal again, as if the doorway had fully closed and I was back into this reality
Even after everything learned and felt, DMT still remains one of the biggest mysteries I can think of. That is one reason why I am so drawn to it. If DMT and Psychedelic research was a legal field for practice, I would be there. Not just to get high, but to learn more about the mind and the inner world.