Question from this INTP newbie

[mikesurfer310]

Forgive me if my comment doesn't seem to flow with the others. I just found out that I'm INTP, not borderline but as close to pure INTP as you can get, if that's even possible.

I found out due to being laid off my job of 16 years and attending a Lee Hecht Harrison job transition course. They gave me the extensive versions of the tests. I'm perplexed by the results for a multitude of reasons albeit I agree entirely. I definitely relate strongly with most of your comments and all the famous people that are also thought to belong in the same type. I’ve been reading up on this almost non-stop since I got the results two weeks ago.

I'm a little (exaggerating) disturbed that my bohemian life-styled mother prohibited me from attending college despite my excellent SAT and IQ test scores. OK she didn't handcuff me and I realize I was a big boy and could do whatever I wanted but she's a religious fanatic and thinks the world is ending soon and time is better spent proselytizing to save people's souls. You don’t want to disappoint mom, she would have been floored. I much regret trying to please her now.

As far as personality, I take more after my atheist dad (Jewish by birth) who is the polar opposite of my mom in most attributes, in fact a real Rocket Scientist, but contributed almost no input in my academic direction.

After moving away when I completed High School, I got a job and snuck into a vocational college anyway and devoured the education. The problem is that I wanted to do so in a way that my mom would not find out, meaning no degree. Now I have 50 plus quasi useful credits with various colleges and universities but no degree. Learning was just a vice to me, didn’t see the need for a degree but deep inside I wanted more.

Now I’ve been broadsided with the realization and validation that I do have potential and I don't have to please my mom. I always thought I was just weird and aloof, I should have listened to my colleagues who always said I was smart and should get a PhD. As a true INTP, my mind was always away trying to create a different and better data compression method or contemplating more efficient energy turbines. Not typical of essentially a High School grad heh?

Now the problem, I'm almost 40 and I am hungry to pursue this potential all the way. Still have the energy and focus but bad credit (fell behind on my vocational college loans) and no job, at least not as of the end of this month. I've also got a roadblock with alcohol and substance abuse, something not uncommon for INTP's, but I'm confident that when the positives outweigh the negatives I'll jump that ship. I’ve never told anyone about this so please keep it between you guys and me, ok?

Was hoping someone else can give me some advice on how to make up for lost time and finally contribute something meaningful in this world other than saving souls from an evil, though non-existent, devil. My strengths and interests are probably similar to yours with the especial inclusion of linguistics. Also have a strong acumen in Computer Forensics. I speak English, Spanish, Portuguese, French and Mandarin Chinese. Anyone want to invest in me? Anyone had a similar experience? Please share your decisions that lead to a Disney ending. I’m so excited to know that I may have found a place where I feel like I belong, this will be a first for me. So glad I lost my job!

Sincerely,
Mike

 

[Artifice Orisit]

Hate to break it to you mike but this is like a club for unsuccessful, socially inept, emotionally damaged, procrastinators who think too much; but overall we're reasonably happy bunch and more than willing to welcome you to our little time wasting abode.

 

[Kuu]

Disney endings don't exist, but you already know that.


Welcome to our madhouse. More people that speak spanish can't be bad. \o/

 

[Da Blob]

Well do not get your hopes up concerning the Glories of Higher Education. I found a way to return to school after existing as a "College Dropout" for thirty years. I basically kick ass academically earning 160 hours of course credits in 18 months and earning my Master's with a 4.0 GPA...

Yet here I sit, unemployed for over a year, annoying youngsters on an internet forum just to have something to do...

That being said this forum can provide a unique type of input, that seems to have been missing in your life thus far

i hope you enjoy your experiences amongst us - your hidden peers...

 

[Polaris]

I must say your story interests and enrages me. How parents so often try to mould their children into something they are not, purely from selfish reasons. How often are children expected to be something they are not? Why do parents feel as if they own their children? Where did they get the idea that it is their right to change someone into something "better"? What is "better" anyway?

I reject the way society tries to change people so fundamentally from what they really are. We must fit into the mould, and every mould is changed to suit someone's or some institution's greedy needs. We must be analysed, branded and grouped accordingly. And then changed.

Another reason why people who practice their own interpretation or the common interpretation of religion has really left me unimpressed. I have nothing against a religion in its own sense, but left in the hands of certain beings, it becomes a weapon of tremendous powers. And very often this power turns into something dark, driven by paranoia and a fear of what is truth, that is what is and not what should be.

I don't know how to give you advice. I am nearly forty myself, and have been studying part-time (cannot afford to study full-time), for about three years. I was continuously being pushed and pulled by other people who "wanted the best" for me. Thanks, but no thanks. I have an extreme drive and need to learn. My area was always science and the arts. It is almost as if I am driven by something outside me to do what I have to do. I must find answers.

Nothing gives me more joy than solving the puzzles of nature. The more I learn, the less I realize I that I know. So I must push on. It is a process that has humbled me to the point of almost finding religion in a very different sense. I am quite spiritual, and my ethical awareness has many times halted me in my obsessive search for answers. I question my search, but also cannot give it up.

I realised the only place I felt truly liberated was at university. I had what was perceived to be a "good job" for many years, but it was killing my spirit as I was getting no where intellectually. I felt like I was surrounded by mostly incompetent, ignorant,shallow, unethical and greedy people.

At university I feel I can speak freely without being judged or questioned for my lack of economical inefficiency. People appreciate and value my input. I love the challenges of learning and the fact that here people expect you to think differently.

You say you have debts, and that is challenging. I live like a nun, with no money to do anything but pay for my next course, but feel free as a bird as my mind is free. I cannot see myself ever doing anything other than to pursue that freedom, which means I will probably end up a researcher and/or lecturer with no money. What is more important to me is hopefully to inspire other people one day to be true to who they are, and to nurture their passion for wanting to make a difference, like myself. It is never too late to start again.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

The only hurdle you need overcome is money. A loan might be difficult from a bank but perhaps a student loan/scholarship of sorts isn't out of the question. Your story sounds intriguing and may intrigue the admissions people at the school of your choice (speaking all those languages is a bonus plus your work experience sounds beneficial too).

You may still need to get a job of some sort, even a crappy service job to help pay your way and living expenses. Oh...and drop the bad habits or at least get them very much under control.

 

[Infinite Regress]

I'd say follow your passion so as to leave no regrets behind

The most infuriating aspect I personally find, is that we could be extremely proficient at things we pursue - but settle for competency instead.

Time lost, can't be recovered...