PTSD depression in the OFC and vmPFC

[fluffy]

I was treated for ADHD as an adult but with the doctor I currently have they will not consider how brains function.

I have extreme feelings of sadness because most of the time I resist acting on my impulses. People have treated me mean in the past so I avoid any action I know 100% will result in it. This takes all my energy and willpower to control not to have a mental breakdown. In the past I have shutdown to avoid bad situations.

I discovered that the brain regions that affected my mental states are in the right frontal lobes. That is where I feel the most mental pain. I did the Iowa gambling task and scored high on impulsivity. After looking into that test I found articles about the orbito frontal cortex and the ventral medial prefrontal cortex. They are involved with future reward anticipation and fear suppression/regulation.

I am restless all the time and depressed. I do have PTSD but the doctor is 28 years old and won't listen. I am not sure what to do.

 

[Cognisant]

Go to the gym.

A healthy mind resides in a healthy body.

 

[Myself]

I'm pretty sure the doctors do listen. Maybe you don't listen to them when they make things difficult for you... (which... HINT... means you should listen MORE to them. Not Less)

 

[fluffy]

@Cognisant

What you said was helpful.

You were listening.

 

[fluffy]

There is a medication I got at a facility called anomoxetine. This was not prescribed by my current doctor but I am still taking it. Apparently it helps facilitate white matter function in the frontal lobes. With Google I found that it calms down the dorsal lateral prefrontal cortex by increasing the signals between it and the anterior cingulate cortex. Verbal fluency can increase as well.

Since it is the right side of my head that feels bad I also think that this is where emotions get processes apposed to language on the left side. I have no pain on the left side of my head.

I can see now that I was thinking about this wrong. I am very mad and sad about people reacting to me the wrong way. I put extreme effort into controlling what I said but mistakes were made and I was damaged emotionally in this area of the brain. I felt rejected.

So what I should be doing is to feel less rejected. That way I can regrow the damaged part of my brain which controls emotions. All ready I think I have gotten better since I have been here. I hope to further learn more about my condition.

 

[Cognisant]

If you can tolerate my bluntness:

Spoiler

You diagnosed yourself with three very serious clinical disorders, now I'm not refuting that you're sad, stressed or having trouble being focused. But if you're able to hold onto a job you're probably not suffering clincial ADHD, PTSD or depression.

The world is currently in a mental illness epidemic or more accurately an epidemic of diagnosis. If someone shoots you in the hand with a nailgun that pain may be in your head, and you may be able to treat it with medication (i.e. painkillers) but it isn't a mental illness.

You have a fucking nail in your hand.

There's tons of things in life that can make you stressed, sad and distracted, before trying to get a shrink to prescribe you medication that alters your brain chemistry and has serious life changing side effects, try pulling the nail out.

go to the gym, eat better, sleep better, take time to de-stress, socialize, get some sun, do all the things humans need to do to be healthy and happy.

 

[fluffy]

I cannot work as when I was professionally diagnosed they said I was schizo. But that did not make things better for me. I have been to several facilities, I am on 4 medications. But no one will tell me what is wrong with my brain. @LOGICZOMBIE posted that video about Dr. Amens work on the scanning of the brain to diagnose people. Unfortunately I haven't got that kind of health insurance. And that technology is not widespread in medical community. So I am discouraged That all that is available to me is a book (DSM-4) with no neuroscience behind it. No one would us the MBTI as a way of getting kids good education, why no information on this either. Must be like astrology then? No, if is is real then it should be have science behind it. This is why people distrust science, look at my thread in the tech forum, "Politicized Science". They think the public is stupid but then the public cannot afford going to college to learn. It is a class divide.

Recently I was at the library and saw a book on neuroscience. The DSM is astrology like MBTI - meaning all three are real science but to cover up something deeper.

 

[fractalwalrus]

I cannot work as when I was professionally diagnosed they said I was schizo. But that did not make things better for me. I have been to several facilities, I am on 4 medications. But no one will tell me what is wrong with my brain. @LOGICZOMBIE posted that video about Dr. Amens work on the scanning of the brain to diagnose people. Unfortunately I haven't got that kind of health insurance. And that technology is not widespread in medical community. So I am discouraged That all that is available to me is a book (DSM-4) with no neuroscience behind it. No one would us the MBTI as a way of getting kinds good education, why no information on this either. Must be like astrology then? No, if is is real then it should be have science behind it. This is why people distrust science, look at my thread in the tech forum, "Politicized Science". They think the public is stupid but then the public cannot afford going to college to learn. It is a class divide.

Recently I was at the library and saw a book on neuroscience. The DSM is astrology like MBTI - meaning all three are real science but to cover up something deeper.

Your circumstance is difficult. Try what Cog suggested about exercise, if you can. If you want to know more about the brain there is Robert Sapolsky's Behave. Absent reading that, check out his youtube vids:
Neuroscientists can only try and repair the brain, they cannot fix our cold societies and subpar environments, which played a part in creating that brain of yours. This is what I was trying to tell you in the other thread. If you had felt belonging, if your background was better, you would have had a reduced chance of developing these symptoms. People don't understand the damage that their societies cause. They'll tell you to suck it up (reinforce the status quo). They'll treat people who are different poorly and then brush the behavior that hurt you off.


The profit motive has perverted science (ie: the whole "needing funding" thing), but it does not discredit the scientific method. People are generally prone to cognitive biases as well (including scientists), and most of us are trying to figure out what the hell we are doing in this life. I found your post about Politicized Science to be VERY pertinent.

As for MBTI, yes it is pseudoscience, but yet, organizations (including the CIA if you believe Andrew Bustamante) use it. This is not to give it credibility, merely to point out how false answers can yield undesired resutls, or that unverified answers can sometimes yield desired results.

 

[fractalwalrus]

I hope you are able to feel better.

 

[fluffy]

I need to make a correction to post number 5

The medication anomoxetine was not first prescribed by my current doctor but it remained in my official meds list.

It was because I told them at the last facility I went to I was ADD and they believed me. The doctor was over 70 years old. I was having tremendous anxiety but no one believed me when I said it was from the ADD.

As I now understand it: the limbic system was making me feel all contorted inside by its dysregulation. It is the same feeling OCD people have. But then there is no way to know what it is without looking in the brain. Just feels awful.

 

[Puffy]

As a fellow sufferer of anxiety I agree with Cog that I’d be hesitant about diagnosing myself and leave it to professionals. It’s an attempt of our anxious brains to make sense of something we feel is wrong that’s worrying us and very often self diagnosis made in this way is incorrect.

I don’t feel it’s my place to comment on medications you’ve been prescribed but I agree that exercise is a good thing. Anything you can do to get out your mind and into your body will help you to feel more grounded.

I hope you feel better soon.

 

[scorpiomover]

I am restless all the time and depressed. I do have PTSD but the doctor is 28 years old and won't listen. I am not sure what to do.

Change your attitude.

I was treated for ADHD as an adult but with the doctor I currently have they will not consider how brains function.

They get paid for treating people. The quicker they treat their patients, the less they get paid.

My brother told me that in countries like Malaysia, doctors are paid when the people who go to see them are well, like insurance, but are not paid when their patients are sick. So they lose money when their patients are sick. So they have a huge incentive to cure their patients as quickly as possible.

I have extreme feelings of sadness because most of the time I resist acting on my impulses.

Humans benefit from controlling your impulses. Imagine if you ate food all day, every day. You'd be morbidly obese.

But you don't see controlling your impulses as a positive, because if you did, you'd be happy all day because you control your impulses.

Think about all the benefits of controlling your impulses. Seek out positive ways of controlling your impulses for the better, like exercise, getting outside and getting sunshine, and all sorts of other things.

Look for the POSITIVE ways of controlling your impulses.

Once you learn to perceive controlling your impulses as a positive, through positive ways of controlling your impulses, every time you control your impulses, your brain will see that as a positive and will release endorphins. Then every time you control your impulses you will feel happier, and the more you control your impulses, the happier you will feel.

People have treated me mean in the past so I avoid any action I know 100% will result in it.

Speaking from experience, avoiding people who can be mean, also means avoiding any people who might be good to you as well. You need to learn better ways of dealing with people, so you can deal with people and get goodness from it, without having to suffer.

But you cannot learn better ways of dealing with people, without more data, and you cannot get more data about dealing with people, unless you keep spending time dealing with people, and experimenting with different ways of dealing with people.

You have to believe that every moment is an opportunity to improve, and so even the times when people were mean to you, and are mean to you, are opportunities to improve, by learning from what people do and say, considering different ways of looking at those situations, and most importantly, experimenting with different ways of dealing with people.

This takes all my energy and willpower to control not to have a mental breakdown. In the past I have shutdown to avoid bad situations.

The only reason it takes your energy, is because you are fighting yourself. Your body and mind knows that it needs to do things for you. But you keep holding it back.

Don't fight. Synthesise. Find ways of doing things that will increase your mental health. Find ways of doing things without ending up in bad situations. You have to experiment and consider different ways of looking at things to do this, which takes work. But it pays off in the long run.

I discovered that the brain regions that affected my mental states are in the right frontal lobes. That is where I feel the most mental pain. I did the Iowa gambling task and scored high on impulsivity. After looking into that test I found articles about the orbito frontal cortex and the ventral medial prefrontal cortex. They are involved with future reward anticipation and fear suppression/regulation.

That's because your anticipations about the future are negative. So your brains continually says that your future is negative. You need to turn it around, and see your future as positive.

I am restless all the time and depressed. I do have PTSD but the doctor is 28 years old and won't listen. I am not sure what to do.

I had depression and anxiety for the past 50 years. I've been in therapy for 45 years. In the last 6 months, my anxiety and depression are nearly gone. I am smiling now as I write this post.

This came from a change in perspective that came from actively trusting in G-d, and actively choosing to love G-d. No kidding.

Nothing in therapy has worked this well for me. I've seen some improvements from therapy. But never like this.

I've told at least 2 people IRL, that if this could work on others, I would prescribe it on the NHS.

I've given you some secular advice above. But if you want to know more about my theistic perspective that has helped me tremendously, please say you genuinely want to know more about this.

It's not as easy as being an atheist. But I am offering you this, because the rewards for me have been so amazing. If this could do what it has done for me, you'd grab it with both hands, and say that the only thing you wish, is that people would have told you about this 20 years ago. Sorry, but that's not true. Actually, I don't even feel that regret. I'ts just sooooo amazing. I must be on drugs, only I'm not on drugs right now. I'm happier than I have been for decades. I'm getting better and better. I'm being more and more productive.

I wish I could show you how much better my mental health has become in the past 6 months. If I knew any secular way to achieve this, I'd say "go for it". But I honestly don't.

But these days, a lot of people feel suspicious about religion, and I can see why. So I will only talk more about G-d here, if you request it.

 

[ZenRaiden]

I was treated for ADHD as an adult but with the doctor I currently have they will not consider how brains function.

Did the treatment work for you?

I have extreme feelings of sadness because most of the time I resist acting on my impulses. People have treated me mean in the past so I avoid any action I know 100% will result in it. This takes all my energy and willpower to control not to have a mental breakdown. In the past I have shutdown to avoid bad situations.

This sounds pretty serious. Black and white thinking, trying to be safe at all cost even if its actually detrimental is sign of trauma, sometimes of serious PD.

I discovered that the brain regions that affected my mental states are in the right frontal lobes. That is where I feel the most mental pain. I did the Iowa gambling task and scored high on impulsivity. After looking into that test I found articles about the orbito frontal cortex and the ventral medial prefrontal cortex. They are involved with future reward anticipation and fear suppression/regulation.

Trauma will mess up your ability to regulate emotions, which leads to either impulsivity or being shut down. Happy and healthy people are middle of the road emotionally, when necessary they suppress emotions, when necessary they feel emotions.

I am restless all the time and depressed. I do have PTSD but the doctor is 28 years old and won't listen. I am not sure what to do.

Restless and depressed sounds like problems with emotions, or with meds. Some meds cause depression. It could also mean less amount of dopamine, but Id guess you might be having side effects of medications. Definitely consult your doctor about side effects.

What exactly is your doctor not listening to?

 

[ZenRaiden]

As I now understand it: the limbic system was making me feel all contorted inside by its dysregulation. It is the same feeling OCD people have. But then there is no way to know what it is without looking in the brain. Just feels awful.

You have posted before, and I think your issues are pretty serious in that you seemed to have had internal tensions. This is pretty big deal, if you have stress way above norm. That is definitely not good, and especially when taking 4 meds.

Do you do therapy?

 

[fluffy]

@scorpiomover

Not sure why people think I am atheistic.

It is not from a lack of belief, that would have compounded the issue.

Like I said later on in this thread, I have felt rejected but more so I have had problems with emotional damage as a result.

When it comes to things like this I had to get away from the environment I was in causing the stress. I stopped communicating with people and had to reflect on what was happening. It was not easy.

It would be simple to be mean back to others but that would cause more rejection. And it would not solve the problem. I have found a more rational approach.

@ZenRaiden

The treatment for ADHD worked a small amount with the anomoxetine. I think the doctor I have doesn't know what to do. I tell them my symptoms and ask what the cause may be and they don't answer. I believe the stress I have counteracts the benefits of the medication I am on. One medication is for depression.

The thing that got me to see this was after the pain in my right frontal lobes got real intense and I wanted to know what mechanisms were at play. I have many papers from the tests I took, the one about the Iowa gambling task was the first clue.

So it seems the right brain is the loci of emotional control. When things get bad for me I have this pain there which has me think of all my problems. I get more pain suppressing then. I do not like being angry or sad but acting out on them is worse because of the consequences. It is like life has me in a Stockholm's situation. I must be perfect and everyone else can do whatever they want with no consequences. This is emotionally exhausting.

PD stands for personality disorder. Maybe?

Yes I go to therapy but I cannot tell people how l really feel. The therapist has there own issues to deal with blocking them from helping me.

 

[fractalwalrus]

@scorpiomover

Not sure why people think I am atheistic.

It is not from a lack of belief, that would have compounded the issue.

Like I said later on in this thread, I have felt rejected but more so I have had problems with emotional damage as a result.

When it comes to things like this I had to get away from the environment I was in causing the stress. I stopped communicating with people and had to reflect on what was happening. It was not easy.

It would be simple to be mean back to others but that would cause more rejection. And it would not solve the problem. I have found a more rational approach.

@ZenRaiden

The treatment for ADHD worked a small amount with the anomoxetine. I think the doctor I have doesn't know what to do. I tell them my symptoms and ask what the cause may be and they don't answer. I believe the stress I have counteracts the benefits of the medication I am on. One medication is for depression.

The thing that got me to see this was after the pain in my right frontal lobes got real intense and I wanted to know what mechanisms were at play. I have many papers from the tests I took, the one about the Iowa gambling task was the first clue.

So it seems the right brain is the loci of emotional control. When things get bad for me I have this pain there which has me think of all my problems. I get more pain suppressing then. I do not like being angry or sad but acting out on them is worse because of the consequences. It is like life has me in a Stockholm's situation. I must be perfect and everyone else can do whatever they want with no consequences. This is emotionally exhausting.

PD stands for personality disorder. Maybe?

Yes I go to therapy but I cannot tell people how l really feel. The therapist has there own issues to deal with blocking them from helping me.

Find yourself the theoretical construct that is an ISFj (assuming you are ENTp), if you can.
They will offer you the things you find to be lacking currently. Emotional warmth, for example.

Duality - Wikisocion

As for everyone else here:

How to Communicate with Someone Living with Schizophrenia

Maintaining open communication with a loved one who has schizophrenia can come with some challenges.

psychcentral.com

Stress and depression literally damage the brain. As does social rejection.
Blaming you or dismissing you for all of this misses the bigger picture. It is the equivalent of telling a person who was hit by a car that was driving on the sidewalk that they should just get up and try to exercise. Sure, it could help a little, but if cars have a track record of driving on the sidewalk in an area where this is normalized, maybe it shouldn't be.

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

I was treated for ADHD as an adult but with the doctor I currently have they will not consider how brains function.

I have extreme feelings of sadness because most of the time I resist acting on my impulses. People have treated me mean in the past so I avoid any action I know 100% will result in it. This takes all my energy and willpower to control not to have a mental breakdown. In the past I have shutdown to avoid bad situations.

I discovered that the brain regions that affected my mental states are in the right frontal lobes. That is where I feel the most mental pain. I did the Iowa gambling task and scored high on impulsivity. After looking into that test I found articles about the orbito frontal cortex and the ventral medial prefrontal cortex. They are involved with future reward anticipation and fear suppression/regulation.

I am restless all the time and depressed. I do have PTSD but the doctor is 28 years old and won't listen. I am not sure what to do.

 

[fractalwalrus]

I was treated for ADHD as an adult but with the doctor I currently have they will not consider how brains function.

I have extreme feelings of sadness because most of the time I resist acting on my impulses. People have treated me mean in the past so I avoid any action I know 100% will result in it. This takes all my energy and willpower to control not to have a mental breakdown. In the past I have shutdown to avoid bad situations.

I discovered that the brain regions that affected my mental states are in the right frontal lobes. That is where I feel the most mental pain. I did the Iowa gambling task and scored high on impulsivity. After looking into that test I found articles about the orbito frontal cortex and the ventral medial prefrontal cortex. They are involved with future reward anticipation and fear suppression/regulation.

I am restless all the time and depressed. I do have PTSD but the doctor is 28 years old and won't listen. I am not sure what to do.

Yes, what LogicZombie said as well.

 

[scorpiomover]

@scorpiomover

Not sure why people think I am atheistic.

Most people on this site seem to be non-religious.

It is not from a lack of belief, that would have compounded the issue.

Not talking about that.

Something deeper.

But I only want to talk about it, if you express that you want to hear about it.

 

[fluffy]

@scorpiomover

Not sure why people think I am atheistic.

Most people on this site seem to be non-religious.

It is not from a lack of belief, that would have compounded the issue.

Not talking about that.

Something deeper.

But I only want to talk about it, if you express that you want to hear about it.

I would like to know.

How has it been for you.

 

[fluffy]

I was treated for ADHD as an adult but with the doctor I currently have they will not consider how brains function.

I have extreme feelings of sadness because most of the time I resist acting on my impulses. People have treated me mean in the past so I avoid any action I know 100% will result in it. This takes all my energy and willpower to control not to have a mental breakdown. In the past I have shutdown to avoid bad situations.

I discovered that the brain regions that affected my mental states are in the right frontal lobes. That is where I feel the most mental pain. I did the Iowa gambling task and scored high on impulsivity. After looking into that test I found articles about the orbito frontal cortex and the ventral medial prefrontal cortex. They are involved with future reward anticipation and fear suppression/regulation.

I am restless all the time and depressed. I do have PTSD but the doctor is 28 years old and won't listen. I am not sure what to do.

Yes, what LogicZombie said as well.

Very good videos.

I believe that in my life I was not allowed to have feelings about things. That is I suppress them. Today I just let myself feel bad, I am allowed to feel. This has really increased my energy. Since yesterday I have less pain emotionally but I need to rest more. I was not allowing myself to rest. Mentality and physically we need recovery time to recouperate. I don't get much of that. It is like burnout. And is worse when you feel sad. But I think I will rest more. That will help.

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

I believe that in my life I was not allowed to have feelings about things.

i know exactly what you mean

 

[ZenRaiden]

The treatment for ADHD worked a small amount with the anomoxetine. I think the doctor I have doesn't know what to do. I tell them my symptoms and ask what the cause may be and they don't answer. I believe the stress I have counteracts the benefits of the medication I am on. One medication is for depression.

The thing that got me to see this was after the pain in my right frontal lobes got real intense and I wanted to know what mechanisms were at play. I have many papers from the tests I took, the one about the Iowa gambling task was the first clue.

So it seems the right brain is the loci of emotional control. When things get bad for me I have this pain there which has me think of all my problems. I get more pain suppressing then. I do not like being angry or sad but acting out on them is worse because of the consequences. It is like life has me in a Stockholm's situation. I must be perfect and everyone else can do whatever they want with no consequences. This is emotionally exhausting.

PD stands for personality disorder. Maybe?

Yes I go to therapy but I cannot tell people how l really feel. The therapist has there own issues to deal with blocking them from helping me.

You need better help. A psychiatrist that gave you 4 dif meds does not sound good.
When it comes to your issue of brain it sounds interesting, but could be many things.

Expressing emotions is important.
The double standard you have for yourself and others is bad for you. Try incrementally expressing more of emotions.

Do you have someone who you feel safe around emotionally?

PD stands for personality disorder. If you have trauma, it does not have to be PD.

As for therapy, are you saying you do not go to therapy to get help?

Your therapist is there to help you, otherwise find someone who is capable of doing therapy.

 

[scorpiomover]

@scorpiomover

Not sure why people think I am atheistic.

Most people on this site seem to be non-religious.

It is not from a lack of belief, that would have compounded the issue.

Not talking about that.

Something deeper.

But I only want to talk about it, if you express that you want to hear about it.

I would like to know.

How has it been for you.

Required me actively thinking in every moment that G-d since G-d is omnipotent and omniscient, g-d controls everything that happens to me, even my own abilities and strengths, and that whatever G-d does, He does for the good, even if it doesn't seem so right now. Having to keep thinking that in every moment. Really tough to keep thinking that, even when it seemed impossible. Still does, for the most part. Kept forgetting that or not believing that. But somehow it's been transformative. The more moments I have thought this, and the more things I have thought this about, the better things have got.

But it's an active process. Believing is not enough. I have to act like it's true, thinking that what I am experiencing right now, is an opportunity, that G-d is giving me ways to deal with my problems, if only I am open to them. I have to be truly open to anything, even the things I think are totally wrong, to totally embrace whatever G-d is sending me, including the pain.

But somehow, it makes the pain disappear, like I am experiencing the pain and suffering but it doesn't hurt at all, and even makes me feel good about life in the moment.

Again, I am far from feeling this all the time. It's like driving. Have to keep my eyes constantly on the road. But the benefits so far have been amazing.

 

[fluffy]

As a fellow sufferer of anxiety I agree with Cog that I’d be hesitant about diagnosing myself and leave it to professionals. It’s an attempt of our anxious brains to make sense of something we feel is wrong that’s worrying us and very often self diagnosis made in this way is incorrect.

I don’t feel it’s my place to comment on medications you’ve been prescribed but I agree that exercise is a good thing. Anything you can do to get out your mind and into your body will help you to feel more grounded.

I hope you feel better soon.

Covid decimated many peoples trust in professionals. I had not known there was a program protecting large corporations from vaccine adverse side effects lawsuits. at least 1% of administered vaccines cause side effects.

@fractalwalrus seems to have this opinion that government is bad or at least that it can abuse power. So many things happen in the world that crush people's faith in government and science. Like the Vietnam war. And lobotomies.

I take my meds like a good boy because I need the money from disability. I don't want to be homeless. Yet it takes so much effort to be poor regardless. The system is incompetent in many ways. I might not have enough food next month because of a system error in reporting my income. The letter said I received twice the amount I actually do.

Good doctors exist with real knowledge about the brain but I am in a small town and do not have the money to travel. Furthermore my family are all bad at keeping clean. They live like homeless people in San Francisco. They won't help me they cannot even help themselves. I am the one responsible for them.

I am sure from your experience @Puffy people did not get help but it is my experience that middle class people don't understand poverty. I believe that most all causes of society derive from neuropsychological factors. Whether environmental or genetic. Big corporations have incentives to feed us unhealthy food for profit and keep us sick to sell drugs. That should be common knowledge but because people haven't got time nor the cognitive abilities they do what "the professionals" tell them to do. I know a woman who got diabetes from drinking aspertain diet mountain dew because it was "the healthy option". Doctors once recommended cigarettes as a way to feel good in the 1950's

If people had higher intelligence maybe they would not be as damaged but compound damage is occurring, poor people are statistically more likely to live by lead fluoride and mercury plants/factories because those homes are cheaper. Generational abuse alcoholism and PTSD war veterans decrease executive functioning in the frontal lobes of their kids by stress depression anger management. Then the kids are given Ritalin like candy.

Call me schizo if people want to, I just want people to not tease me when I try and make friends online. I never talk about this stuff anyway. All the stuff you see me say elsewhere on this forum is normal stuff. I was just not in the mood today to look at it as if life has not corruption in it. I hope @Puffy you were not offended by my rant.

I saw many things online in 2020, one video kids sat a kid in a chair yelling at him because he would not where a mask. He had his head down with his hands over his head. In Louise South Asia after the Americans left in 75 they killed all persons with glasses because they were "the bourgeoisie intelligentsia". I do have the certificate for both my covid shots.

 

[Puffy]

As a fellow sufferer of anxiety I agree with Cog that I’d be hesitant about diagnosing myself and leave it to professionals. It’s an attempt of our anxious brains to make sense of something we feel is wrong that’s worrying us and very often self diagnosis made in this way is incorrect.

I don’t feel it’s my place to comment on medications you’ve been prescribed but I agree that exercise is a good thing. Anything you can do to get out your mind and into your body will help you to feel more grounded.

I hope you feel better soon.

Covid decimated many peoples trust in professionals. I had not known there was a program protecting large corporations from vaccine adverse side effects lawsuits. at least 1% of administered vaccines cause side effects.

@fractalwalrus seems to have this opinion that government is bad or at least that it can abuse power. So many things happen in the world that crush people's faith in government and science. Like the Vietnam war. And lobotomies.

I take my meds like a good boy because I need the money from disability. I don't want to be homeless. Yet it takes so much effort to be poor regardless. The system is incompetent in many ways. I might not have enough food next month because of a system error in reporting my income. The letter said I received twice the amount I actually do.

Good doctors exist with real knowledge about the brain but I am in a small town and do not have the money to travel. Furthermore my family are all bad at keeping clean. They live like homeless people in San Francisco. They won't help me they cannot even help themselves. I am the one responsible for them.

I am sure from your experience @Puffy people did not get help but it is my experience that middle class people don't understand poverty. I believe that most all causes of society derive from neuropsychological factors. Whether environmental or genetic. Big corporations have incentives to feed us unhealthy food for profit and keep us sick to sell drugs. That should be common knowledge but because people haven't got time nor the cognitive abilities they do what "the professionals" tell them to do. I know a woman who got diabetes from drinking aspertain diet mountain dew because it was "the healthy option". Doctors once recommended cigarettes as a way to feel good in the 1950's

If people had higher intelligence maybe they would not be as damaged but compound damage is occurring, poor people are statistically more likely to live by lead fluoride and mercury plants/factories because those homes are cheaper. Generational abuse alcoholism and PTSD war veterans decrease executive functioning in the frontal lobes of their kids by stress depression anger management. Then the kids are given Ritalin like candy.

Call me schizo if people want to, I just want people to not tease me when I try and make friends online. I never talk about this stuff anyway. All the stuff you see me say elsewhere on this forum is normal stuff. I was just not in the mood today to look at it as if life has not corruption in it. I hope @Puffy you were not offended by my rant.

I saw many things online in 2020, one video kids sat a kid in a chair yelling at him because he would not where a mask. He had his head down with his hands over his head. In Louise South Asia after the Americans left in 75 they killed all persons with glasses because they were "the bourgeoisie intelligentsia". I do have the certificate for both my covid shots.

I’m not offended but you seem to have assumed a lot of things off of a simple comment, which makes me feel that this isn’t going to be productive, so I hope you don’t mind me not going into this with you. I didn’t mean any offense.

 

[fluffy]

As a fellow sufferer of anxiety I agree with Cog that I’d be hesitant about diagnosing myself and leave it to professionals. It’s an attempt of our anxious brains to make sense of something we feel is wrong that’s worrying us and very often self diagnosis made in this way is incorrect.

I don’t feel it’s my place to comment on medications you’ve been prescribed but I agree that exercise is a good thing. Anything you can do to get out your mind and into your body will help you to feel more grounded.

I hope you feel better soon.

Covid decimated many peoples trust in professionals. I had not known there was a program protecting large corporations from vaccine adverse side effects lawsuits. at least 1% of administered vaccines cause side effects.

@fractalwalrus seems to have this opinion that government is bad or at least that it can abuse power. So many things happen in the world that crush people's faith in government and science. Like the Vietnam war. And lobotomies.

I take my meds like a good boy because I need the money from disability. I don't want to be homeless. Yet it takes so much effort to be poor regardless. The system is incompetent in many ways. I might not have enough food next month because of a system error in reporting my income. The letter said I received twice the amount I actually do.

Good doctors exist with real knowledge about the brain but I am in a small town and do not have the money to travel. Furthermore my family are all bad at keeping clean. They live like homeless people in San Francisco. They won't help me they cannot even help themselves. I am the one responsible for them.

I am sure from your experience @Puffy people did not get help but it is my experience that middle class people don't understand poverty. I believe that most all causes of society derive from neuropsychological factors. Whether environmental or genetic. Big corporations have incentives to feed us unhealthy food for profit and keep us sick to sell drugs. That should be common knowledge but because people haven't got time nor the cognitive abilities they do what "the professionals" tell them to do. I know a woman who got diabetes from drinking aspertain diet mountain dew because it was "the healthy option". Doctors once recommended cigarettes as a way to feel good in the 1950's

If people had higher intelligence maybe they would not be as damaged but compound damage is occurring, poor people are statistically more likely to live by lead fluoride and mercury plants/factories because those homes are cheaper. Generational abuse alcoholism and PTSD war veterans decrease executive functioning in the frontal lobes of their kids by stress depression anger management. Then the kids are given Ritalin like candy.

Call me schizo if people want to, I just want people to not tease me when I try and make friends online. I never talk about this stuff anyway. All the stuff you see me say elsewhere on this forum is normal stuff. I was just not in the mood today to look at it as if life has not corruption in it. I hope @Puffy you were not offended by my rant.

I saw many things online in 2020, one video kids sat a kid in a chair yelling at him because he would not where a mask. He had his head down with his hands over his head. In Louise South Asia after the Americans left in 75 they killed all persons with glasses because they were "the bourgeoisie intelligentsia". I do have the certificate for both my covid shots.

I’m not offended but you seem to have assumed a lot of things off of a simple comment, which makes me feel that this isn’t going to be productive, so I hope you don’t mind me not going into this with you. I didn’t mean any offense.

It in not that I was trying to assume things. I am just in need of feedback if you will with why trusting professionals is a good thing. Are they immune to human error? I had thought about it but I was unsure you were seeing what I was. I have my life experience with others over years that take a long time to explain. Could you specify why learning about ones condition would be a bad thing.

 

[fluffy]

@Puffy

I am sorry I reacted the way I did. I might have been unable to process what people meant as I would not see what I am doing as self diagnosis. This is what I have come accustomed to that I am labeled crazy because I want too understand why I have bad feelings inside me. Like I once heard that in the 1700's women who wanted to read were seen as unruly.

 

[fluffy]

The treatment for ADHD worked a small amount with the anomoxetine. I think the doctor I have doesn't know what to do. I tell them my symptoms and ask what the cause may be and they don't answer. I believe the stress I have counteracts the benefits of the medication I am on. One medication is for depression.

The thing that got me to see this was after the pain in my right frontal lobes got real intense and I wanted to know what mechanisms were at play. I have many papers from the tests I took, the one about the Iowa gambling task was the first clue.

So it seems the right brain is the loci of emotional control. When things get bad for me I have this pain there which has me think of all my problems. I get more pain suppressing then. I do not like being angry or sad but acting out on them is worse because of the consequences. It is like life has me in a Stockholm's situation. I must be perfect and everyone else can do whatever they want with no consequences. This is emotionally exhausting.

PD stands for personality disorder. Maybe?

Yes I go to therapy but I cannot tell people how l really feel. The therapist has there own issues to deal with blocking them from helping me.

You need better help. A psychiatrist that gave you 4 dif meds does not sound good.
When it comes to your issue of brain it sounds interesting, but could be many things.

Expressing emotions is important.
The double standard you have for yourself and others is bad for you. Try incrementally expressing more of emotions.

Do you have someone who you feel safe around emotionally?

PD stands for personality disorder. If you have trauma, it does not have to be PD.

As for therapy, are you saying you do not go to therapy to get help?

Your therapist is there to help you, otherwise find someone who is capable of doing therapy.

I spend much of my time in isolation. I once had friends in middle school but was bullied. It has been a long time since I had much in common with anyone.

I think that the problem is I am unsure what I should do in life. Socializing with others might be an option as long as I go along with what they want to do. From the way I was I was mostly gratified by intellectual stimulation but then I had discouragement, low self esteem when I failed at small tasks.

It would be nice to relax. I haven't had time, I was crampt not knowing what to do worried over and over again at being boxed in. As I said I could not allow myself to feel things, happy angry sad. It was all pushed into a crampt little box in my head.

I think now that really I don't need to do anything in life. I should just "be". Then I would not need to worry about anything.

 

[fluffy]

@scorpiomover

Not sure why people think I am atheistic.

Most people on this site seem to be non-religious.

It is not from a lack of belief, that would have compounded the issue.

Not talking about that.

Something deeper.

But I only want to talk about it, if you express that you want to hear about it.

I would like to know.

How has it been for you.

Required me actively thinking in every moment that G-d since G-d is omnipotent and omniscient, g-d controls everything that happens to me, even my own abilities and strengths, and that whatever G-d does, He does for the good, even if it doesn't seem so right now. Having to keep thinking that in every moment. Really tough to keep thinking that, even when it seemed impossible. Still does, for the most part. Kept forgetting that or not believing that. But somehow it's been transformative. The more moments I have thought this, and the more things I have thought this about, the better things have got.

But it's an active process. Believing is not enough. I have to act like it's true, thinking that what I am experiencing right now, is an opportunity, that G-d is giving me ways to deal with my problems, if only I am open to them. I have to be truly open to anything, even the things I think are totally wrong, to totally embrace whatever G-d is sending me, including the pain.

But somehow, it makes the pain disappear, like I am experiencing the pain and suffering but it doesn't hurt at all, and even makes me feel good about life in the moment.

Again, I am far from feeling this all the time. It's like driving. Have to keep my eyes constantly on the road. But the benefits so far have been amazing.

I went to church as a kid and as an adult I had the time to think about philosophy, physics, science, art. Most definitely I had questions about how reality operated. I was confused though about why I felt like a bad person. I just felt bad. Psychologically I learned that a child will feel it is their fault the parent doesn't care about them. I think this transfered to my relationship with God. God did not care about me and I wanted him to but I had no response from him. Church made me feel guilty. But I knew I had to be good or something bad may happen. I was in fear all the time. Yet maybe I would be ok someday.

I had thought as I read the Bible I should be like Jesus then I could be ok - tried to help people. But many of them hurt my feelings. I was not allowed to feel bad though. There are many things wrong with people that are not their fault. I should be kind to them. When I am not I feel really bad. That has been my life so far.

The person I lost loved me. I loved them but they are gone now. That changed things. I still need to be a good person but I remember that I need to not feel bad as I was before. The way my parents were should not define me that way. The person who loved me I was more close to than them.

 

[fractalwalrus]

I think you'll fit in fine here. Communication can sometimes be a bit, difficult.

 

[Puffy]

@Puffy

I am sorry I reacted the way I did. I might have been unable to process what people meant as I would not see what I am doing as self diagnosis. This is what I have come accustomed to that I am labeled crazy because I want too understand why I have bad feelings inside me. Like I once heard that in the 1700's women who wanted to read were seen as unruly.

Sure, that's okay I think I get where you're coming from now. I hope it doesn't come across like I'm labelling you as crazy, that wasn't my intention. I was more sharing my experience of being an anxiety prone person. Anxiety is prone to worry and diagnosing something wrong with the self incorrectly.

The thing with most medical conditions is that they're complex and could be caused by multiple factors. I could say, "I am experiencing insomnia at the moment, I can see online that's a side-effect of a medication I'm taking, therefore that must be the cause." Someone could do a test on me and then discover it's not the medication but because I have a thyroid issue.

The same symptom could be caused by multiple factors and someone who is trained to diagnose and has experience is more likely going to be able to deduce the cause. Like you said, sometimes they get it wrong too, which is why seeing multiple people can be helpful.

I sympathise at the same time that mental health diagnosis is more blurry and prone to error. From my experience with doctors and mental health I get the impression that they don't know what's wrong and instead see their role to trial and error with drugs to see what helps relieve symptoms. What they're doing won't cure just make symptoms more manageable. If you don't want to pursue a therapeutic path that involves drugs then doctors and psychiatrists aren't really the right people to see, you'd be better off seeing a therapist or someone related whose role is to listen to you and won't prescribe drugs.

With drugs it's a case of weighing up if your quality of life is better on them than without them. For example, I'm prone to depression and panic attacks and before I went on anti-depressants couldn't leave my house, hold down a job, and kept having intrusive suicidal thoughts. For me being on an anti-depressant right now has nothing to do with big pharma, it's a voluntary choice I make as my quality of life is better on it overall, I'm functional and there's less risk of me harming myself.

 

[scorpiomover]

I would like to know.

How has it been for you.

Had weeks in the beginning when I was on Cloud Nine. Then weeks when I was struggling with it, and really wondered if it was all a dream. But re-kindled efforts, and raised a level. That's happened repeatedly over the past 6 months, and is still happening. So not been perfect sailing at all. But has kept getting better and better overall, just not in a purely linear fashion, more like a curve that goes back and forth but whose general direction is up.

I am more and more thinking that it's not been other people who are at fault, or me, but simply realising that they misunderstood me and I need to work harder at communicating and need to express myself more by explaining more, and by being pro-active about communicating to them. Also realising that the more I focus on getting things done, the easier things have got. But unlike in the past, when there's been an invisible wall that stopped me, or depression that robbed me of my energy, now I feel like that doesn't matter and it's like it often stops being a problem, and I even find I'm doing things now naturally without realising it.

 

[fluffy]

I would like to know.

How has it been for you.

Had weeks in the beginning when I was on Cloud Nine. Then weeks when I was struggling with it, and really wondered if it was all a dream. But re-kindled efforts, and raised a level. That's happened repeatedly over the past 6 months, and is still happening. So not been perfect sailing at all. But has kept getting better and better overall, just not in a purely linear fashion, more like a curve that goes back and forth but whose general direction is up.

I am more and more thinking that it's not been other people who are at fault, or me, but simply realising that they misunderstood me and I need to work harder at communicating and need to express myself more by explaining more, and by being pro-active about communicating to them. Also realising that the more I focus on getting things done, the easier things have got. But unlike in the past, when there's been an invisible wall that stopped me, or depression that robbed me of my energy, now I feel like that doesn't matter and it's like it often stops being a problem, and I even find I'm doing things now naturally without realising it.

I had issues with burnout this year. Extreme emotional physical and cognitive stress. As it dragged on and on I must have realized that the thing keeping me down was the pressure of life's responsibilities I had no control over. There was a breaking point. Then it all seemed to go away. I wasn't sure what it was but I had to reconcile that it had all been to much, that I was not able to help everyone else. It was not my choice to allow what was happening but that God was the one who needed to help me. In a small way there needed to be a change of perspective. No more seeking ways to fix everything, they would solve themselves. I had to take care of me. The dove does not worry about tomorrow.

 

[Hadoblado]

You have whatever animekitty has
//thread

 

[Puffy]

You have whatever animekitty has
//thread

Maybe we should set them both up.

 

[fluffy]

Emotions need to be felt more.

I was thinking that's the way to go yet there must be something else, neurogenesis.

If parts of the brain have been shrinking, then what happens when you reverse the effects?

Here then is the answer, focused healing energies. Love my brain back to health.

 

[Hadoblado]

You have whatever animekitty has
//thread

Maybe we should set them both up.

I'm not saying Bruce Wayne is Batman, but I've never seen them in the same room at the same time.

 

[Puffy]

You have whatever animekitty has
//thread

Maybe we should set them both up.

I'm not saying Bruce Wayne is Batman, but I've never seen them in the same room at the same time.

You could be right. Maybe animekitty is doing a Lyra.