Personal Trouble Posting Thoughts

[Irishpenguin]

I'm starting this thread knowing that it is going to be emotional and mushy. However, I feel comfortable here and it's probably the only forum that had ever made me feel that way.

So to the point. I have a very hard time posting anything here. I have had this problem ever since I joined this forum back in high school. I usually happens like this:

>>I have a thought > This Thought Makes me have a feeling > I want to express this thoughts and feelings to somebody so I think of the forum > I think that it would be stupid because I don't wanna put this load on anyone or turn random people into my therapists > I get over it and gain the confidence > I try to think of what I'll type and linger on the emotions > The emotions become too much > I lay down in my bed and I cry, and then I cry some more until it's all out > I no longer have energy or strength to post. >>>

This happens and once I'm done crying I'm good for a bit, but it always comes back. I don't know what I'm wanting really from here. I know there won't be a "Be all end all" answer from anyone, and I don't want that.

Right now I keep considering making another intro post for myself. I would explain a lot of the bad things and/or feelings that have happened to me over the past 2 years. Recently I've done a big change and that has had a bunch of emotions that are trickling back to me so it's hard to deal with.

I don't have any of the deep friendships I had save for one. So that combined with my problems posting means I'm not giving myself an outlet and I think I desperately need one.

I wanted to ask a question. Does anybody else here feel like this at all when trying to post? Does a post linger in there head until they can't stand it and then they never actually do it? Does anyone else here experience anything like this at all? Do I just sound stupid? I'm genuinely curious in anyone's opinions or thoughts

 

[Jennywocky]

I would just post. It's better to post something than to never post anything.

I have similar problems in overthinking and not wanting to impose on others, come across as needy, or maybe just posting and get no response, or eventually resolving it myself, or just feeling like I can't quite state perfectly what I am thinking or feeling... but it's a lonely way to live, and especially if you are someone who needs feedback / responses to react to, living in a vacuum will kill you over time because you will live only in silence.

Maybe not a lot of people will respond, but it doesn't mean people aren't reading, and it will help you pull your thoughts together. I think if you are afraid of criticism, typically if people know you're just trying to explore something / work through it, they're pretty amenable to support that. (it's typically those pushing a viewpoint / impose it on others with flaws in it that get criticized for flaws in reasoning.)

 

[Irishpenguin]

Thank you Jennywocky. I think that was pretty much what I needed to hear right now.

 

[peoplesuck]

Something that helped me was realizing: it doesn't matter how smart or stupid you sound, it doesn't change how intelligent you actually are.
What people think of you doesn't change anything about you, unless you let it.
Asking for help or input generally isn't too bad, asking specific people for advice isn't good though, because then they will feel pressured. Maybe just state your case and ask questions, people can help.
Although if you are upset enough to cry about it, and it keeps happening, maybe its something to see a therapist about?

You could always just rant like a mad man, I did...it worked out.
Nobody is going to bully you over your issues, most people here are understanding and empathetic.