Parents of INTPs

[silikone]

What kind of parents did you grow up with, and how did being an INTP cause trouble, if any?

I lived with my ISFP mother who was divorced with my ESTJ father. Both of them had their ups and downs, so I had to pick a poison.
My mother was extremely passive and rarely controlled me. This of course meant freedom, but with little support from her, it felt like I was living on my own. We never had good talks together, and our interests were highly contrasting.
My father was very authoritarian, and this was hard for me to deal with, but only from him could I get the support and attention I really needed.
Overall, a stable and trauma free but stagnant childhood. Severely lacking in experience today.

 

[Jennywocky]

What kind of parents did you grow up with, and how did being an INTP cause trouble, if any?

I lived with my ISFP mother who was divorced with my ESTJ father. Both of them had their ups and downs, so I had to pick a poison.
My mother was extremely passive and rarely controlled me. This of course meant freedom, but with little support from her, it felt like I was living on my own. We never had good talks together, and our interests were highly contrasting.
My father was very authoritarian, and this was hard for me to deal with, but only from him could I get the support and attention I really needed.
Overall, a stable and trauma free but stagnant childhood. Severely lacking in experience today.

ESTP dad was kind of a bully, always had to be right, and always expected me to be trying to pull one over on him and playing some kind of angle on him, which of course he had to 'win' because he considered himself the ultimate streetwise guy. Laid down the law. In contrast, he could not handle any kind of personal discussion where he might be vulnerable or talk about his inner life.

Due to some trauma in his own life, he became an alcoholic at a young age and slowly committed suicide over about 45 years, picking up DUIs, loss of employments, and a short jail sentence along the way. Nothing ever improved with him. He must have had a hell of a constitution to make it to 71, because he should have died in his late 40's / early 50's.

ISFJ mom was very delicate, could not handle any kind of conflict (which she would scan as "mean"), would break down crying if something negative occurred, and wasn't very adventurous. She was also very religious and everything was filtered through that perspective, and she spoke a lot of religious-ese. It was hard for her to understand people who did not share her beliefs. She's actually become more well-rounded since she reached her 50's and later, and tougher too -- so at least now, at the end, I have some kind of relationship with her and she accepts me and can "handle" who I am even if she doesn't understand me.

Neither of them really grasped me. They both admired my intelligence and artistic talents and both of them made sure I had access to any books I could get my hands on (so I will always be grateful for that); education was important to both of them. But in terms of personal interactions, pretty much both were negative examples to me when I was growing up and not really approachable, so I felt "on my own" at a very young age. Basically grew up ambivalent/detached from both parental figures and forged my own way, which unfortunately meant a decent amount of aimlessness.

As far "me being trouble" for them:

- If I didn't agree with something, I would try to find a way around it if it was worth the trouble. I didn't really "respect" authority per se, although I was well-behaved; I would only truly respect it if I agreed with the rule, and otherwise I would comply if (1) it would take too much energy to circumvent or (2) if it got me the best benefit in the end, and otherwise find a way to sidestep / squeeze around it. I didn't have a chip on my shoulder about authority, I was mainly indifferent to it.

- I was always looking outside the lines and wasn't really happy just standing still or living in a cage.

- I would just withdraw from both of them and "disappear" -- I was never home. Even when young, I'd just go out on the country roads on my bike all day, or go hiking through wide fields. it was the best way to be free. I stopped telling them much about me because I learned quickly they wouldn't get it and it would just complicate my life.

- I only followed etiquette to avoid problems / restrictions, but otherwise I know I hurt my mom's feelings on occasion by things I'd say that flew against her values or left her feeling isolated.

overall, I didn't actually cause a lot of overt problems -- I tended to internalize everything and simply withdraw / not engage them. So everything looked cool, but I didn't have much of a relationship.

 

[Rixus]

My mother tested as ISFP. I'm pretty sure my real father was also INTP, but they split up when I was 4 over money problems. She had so much animosity towards him that I didn't meet him until I was 17 when by chance he bumped into my sister. Throughout early childhood, she was estranged from her extended family and our little family were the outsiders in a small mining village where we'd moved to when my parents split. I guess due to the stress, my mother was always quick to anger and cups, saucers, ashtrays etc could be thrown and smashed against the wall. I once went into school with marks over my neck from refusing to eat the breakfast offered. I remember how Christmas' were always one of her biggest tantrums (I guess is the word), and I remember having the value of everything under the tree screamed at us and how ungrateful we were etc etc. It was around here I was expelled from school at about 7 or 8, but that's another story (which was what led to the High School ostracisation mentioned on another thread).

Anyway, she met my step father when I was around 10. Looking back, I'm certain he was ESTJ and a prison officer. At first, I was eager to make a relationship with him as he seamed wise to me at that age. At first he taught me to play chess, Subbuteo and Risk. But trouble was, I was not a athletic person and could never be the athlete he was (which he spent some time drumming into me). He didn't understand my academic nature, and didn't like someone being superior to him at anything so he did his best to put that down as well - insisting that all I was would ever be capable of was rote memorising information, and was incapable of free thinking. As our relationship soured more, he kept on drumming into me how the bullying in school was all my own fault and the other kids couldn't be blamed for picking on someone so weird. As he was also a night club bouncer and an expert at martial arts, I begged him to teach me so I could defend myself in school. But always insisted I was not allowed to because I was, in his words, "like a complete arse all the time." As my brother had found favour with him by joinging the army, I thought if I proved I could be just as a fit he'd accept me. But even when I made 3 miles in 22 minutes (which I though was good for 14 years old), he just kind of dismissed it.

My mother at this point had developed an alcohol problem and didn't really get involved. But there relationship was pretty volatile and I was thankful I had a dog to take out and walk whenever they'd start screaming at each other.

He left when I was 16 just as I started college. I think he left my mother pretty depressed as well, so she drinking every night and I can barely even remembering her talking to me without without, "I'm working myself into the grave to put you through university!" And yet she had absolutely no idea what I was even studying.

I have a fairly distant relationship with my real father now. I get on with him just fine and we understand one another. But just don't see each other very often. I lost contact with the rest of my family after my mother had a fist fight with my wife on the doorstep some years ago. But after my wife ran off and left me and the kids, I got back in touch with my family and now my mother is far more calmed - she's quit drinking and smoking and is a much more pleasant person. Our relationship is quite positive these days, in fact.

[Edit - my apologies if this post comes across as a bit whiny. A question was asked, so I answered in earnest.]

 

[linalovelis]

What kind of parents did you grow up with, and how did being an INTP cause trouble, if any?

I lived with my ISFP mother who was divorced with my ESTJ father. Both of them had their ups and downs, so I had to pick a poison.
My mother was extremely passive and rarely controlled me. This of course meant freedom, but with little support from her, it felt like I was living on my own. We never had good talks together, and our interests were highly contrasting.
My father was very authoritarian, and this was hard for me to deal with, but only from him could I get the support and attention I really needed.
Overall, a stable and trauma free but stagnant childhood. Severely lacking in experience today.

Dude, I grew up with susceptible parents. An ESFJ mom and an ESTJ dad. I still think they're the most annoying human beings ever, but they taught me how this wicked society works. They got offended by my existence but I least I learned how to deal with sensitive and overly emotional people, thanks to this guys. I don't know what I should think about them, because they guided me almost every time my "common sense" failed, but they were still extremely confusing, and somehow mean. They wanted me to fit into that perfect, fit and highly stupid popular girl stereotype that I hate so much. I didn't have it easy but at least I know what to expect from others.

Were they good parents or bad parents? Or am I just a disappointment. I don't know anymore. Should I even care?

 

[mudcaik]

ISFJ mother and INTJ father. They broke up when I was six years old.

Good parents, mom is very good at taking care of me when it comes to buying new clothes, making sure i'm not hungry, cleaning my room and stuff like that. She does all of these things almost compulsively, i don't need to ask her to do it. Sometimes it's even annoying when she does it, i'm like "Nah you dont need to do it now, im busy".

Good INTJ father too. Wise man, quite good with money as you would expect. He's a money maker, an electrical engineer and he never wastes a dime. A practical person who wants to show me how to do things, how to change car tires, how to cook meals, how to change guitar strings, effective ways of tying knots etc. A pragmatist, and a no- bullshitter. I have him to thank for my interest in music, and sports. When i was young he got me into soccer, and violine, and he listens to a lot of rock and old school metal.

So I don't really have many complaints about them as individuals, but as a couple they were quite incompatible. Dad thought mom is way too irrational and mom probably thought he was too much of a know-it-all and inconsiderate. Te vs Fe?

Complaints on my father would be that he's a bit too serious and rigid. He remains largely unemotional, but occassionally he has Fi bursts where he wants to share old memories about me and my sister. It's weird to see his vulnerable side when he's so serious all the time.

Then there's also the Ni part of him, always planning ahead for the future. I just shrug when he asks me things like "how are your studies going, do you have a plan?". I take it as it comes, just chillax

 

[TheManBeyond]

hey guys i just wanna say something, not because your father and mother care for you it means they are SFJs types

 

[INTPmetalhead]

I'm not sure what personality types my parents are as we don't usually speak to eachother. They always viewed me as weird and they thought something was wrong with me... especially in comparison to my brother who was like my dad in alot of ways. I was and still am the outcast of my family. However I believe my grandma was an INTP like me, she always understood me, and I'm alot like her in many ways. But sadly she has passed away so I don't have anyone in my family to really talk to anymore, but that's ok. I have my boyfriend who is an INTP aswell.

 

[necrolust]

My mother is ESFP and my father is ISFJ (I was pretty sure he's "T" type, not "F") and they are still together&happy.

My mother is just like mother should be. I mean, she cared and still cares a lot, doesn't judge me for my weird life choices etc, but to be honest she never really understands me, even though she's sure she does. Everytime I talk to her about things around I realize she has totally different point of view and really has no idea what's happening in my head. When I was child, she tried to make artist of me because I was quite talented in..everything? She also "forced" me to study languages and so I did.

With my father it's quite similar but he's interested in science and is electrical engeener, so we have more to talk about. I study astronomy at university and probably he's the one that helped me to develop my interest in universe etc. And he also teached me to play piano and guitar.

They were and still are really good parents, even though I live 350km away from home city we still have good relationship.

 

[Nebulous]

I think my mom is ESFP and my dad is INTP

I just came to this thread to say that my dad wants me to wear sunscreen while using my iPad to protect me from radiation

Someone save me

 

[Jennywocky]

I think my mom is ESFP and my dad is INTP

I just came to this thread to say that my dad wants me to wear sunscreen while using my iPad to protect me from radiation

Someone save me

It's a wonder your fingers didn't burn off just typing this post.

 

[JR_IsP]

IxTJ father (I just can't be sure sometimes, there is a lot of both Si and Ni in him), possible ENFJ mother, still together.

Maybe since I was like 13 or 14 years old (and now of course) I lived almost entirely in my room, my introvert behaviours as well saved me from the most teen-parents arguments about parties or coming late home, in fact, I think we've had some arguments on why I should be more socially active.

He is a physicist and she is chemist, they met working on a lab together, maybe that's why I was naturally inclined to science and stuff (currently working on my physics grade as well), he used to travel a lot for conferences and things like that abroad, but now with the ticket prices he works on a science institute, she is a high school teacher now.

Thanks to that, education have always been a priority for us, so books and documentaries are fairly common, I also convinced them to buy me a telescope about 4 years ago.

I really enjoy when my mother tries to do some extrovert thing and the three of us (my brother is ISTP) just use our introversion to convince her to not to do that

However............ (every family have one)......... they're both very religious (yeah, it's odd), and when religious talks come, I tend to remain silent to avoid further conflict. Also becuase of my father's strong Te, strong arguments have came (maybe to my lack of interest in home duties, or my resistance to accept authority). Probably the worse have shown when he tolds me something which can be done in a more efective (or alternative) way, but more eccentric, and he just can't deal with it; leading to unavoidable conflict.

Besides that (and my mother always trying me to be more friendly with people), I think I've been lucky, I'm a good person thanks to them.


EDIT: Pretty sure he is ISTJ after reading the post.

 

[Cogitant]

INTP dad, ESTJ mum.
Weird, but it works...
Somehow...

Dad used to work as an electrical engineer for the local water board. He's obsessed with circuit boards and hardware and I recall in the 90s the house was filled with carcasses of electrical goods because he liked to create frankentronics :P
He used to be a fan of a show called 'Robot Wars' which inspired him to create strange machines to entertain us kids.
He was always trying to kindle an interest in us for electronics. In fact, at a very young age (under 5) I recall him teaching me the colour coding for resistors in order to explain to me the rainbow (INTP dad is best dad).
+No wonder my brother and I are so geeky.
He likes sci-fi (Star Trek particularly), collecting comic books and I think he was literally a train-spotter as a kid. He's still obsessed with steam engines to this day.
He's a computer wizard too, codes in the most ancient of languages, and we were never short of having the latest PC (486 lol), consoles (mega drive/ps1) and software.

Mum is a French teacher. She's really different in every way. Was brought up 'correctly', in boarding schools, and had her own pony. My granddad (INTJ) was an engine designer for the RAF and she was brought up in Aix-en-Provence, France since he had been posted to Marseilles to work on a helicopter design. I should ask mum which.
She has always done everything, made and taken phone-calls, cleaned, cooked, organized everything and everyone since dad lives in the other room in his nest of electronic parts, and has a phone allergy
She is a bossy, headstrong person, but she is effective.

I was lucky in that my dad bought me every book I ever wanted, from the deep sea (my fave fish was the angler), to insects, to astronomy. He bought us lego, mechano, chemistry sets, telescopes, pretty much anything geeky that he wanted too

Always got on far better with dad. Mum is snappy, and I used to be nervous of talking to her.

 

[Polaris]

Dad: INTP/INFP, shipping electrician, loner, reclusive, artistic, musical, dreamer. Had a multitude of interests, including science; particularly physics (I think that automatically comes with the electrician territory), science fiction, music, languages (apart from his native Norwegian, he spoke German and English, and could make hinself understood in Japanese, Russian and Spanish), cooking, cultural anthropology, etc. He was a world traveller, and was rarely at home. He was an environmentalist and naturalist, but not of the activist kind. He just loved nature and animals. He recycled before the idea of recycling even became a thing (because he was smart), and lived completely self-sustainably. He was just one of these rare people who had extreme awareness of everything. However, being this sensitive, he also became unable to deal with people and the world in general in his later years, and started drinking heavily to dull he pain of isolation. Dad had a profound positive influence on me, despite being absent most of the time. He was my idol.

Mum: ISTJ, unfulfilled housewife who started an education in business before becoming pregnant at 19 and was then forced to marry and stay at home. She was completely devoted to dad, but carried strong resentment for her entrapment all her life, and we became targets of her frustration. She is a tough, cruel, no-nonsense type of person with a complete lack of self-awareness. I am convinced now that she is on the autism spectrum, which explains a lot of behaviours. My brother (INFJ, electrician, computer/tech/hi-fi nerd) is on the autism spectrum, and so am I. I think even dad might have been.

All in all we were a pretty strange family who lived reclusively, surrounded by books everywhere. People thought we were weirdos because we were all highly independent, eccentric types, which is why were were all subject to isolation. The town we lived in was small, and religiously oppressive. This did not suit dad because he had such a world perspective, and therefore nothing in common with other people in the village. Mum struggled to get acceptance because she came from a poor German family, and was used to a kind of hardship other people could not even imagine. This isolated her from the norm. Her bluntness and straight-forwardness also put people off.

After dad died, the whole family shattered, and I no longer feel like I have a family. This is because dad was the only person who did not abuse me. Without him, I no longer have the will or energy to face the rest of my family and I have ceased contact with them.

 

[TheManBeyond]

Dad: ISTP
Mom: ESFP

Divorced. 20 + years together.
To put it simple my mom has waaaay too much Te + Ni and she wants everything at any cost. She is crazy. I would go a with ENTJ but I think she is a feeler.
My dad is very logical so their relationship was mom bombing blindly all the opposition and dad trying to build a nuclear refugee.
My brothers and me watched the whole show eating popcorn.

 

[QuickTwist]

Me: ISTP 1w9
Mother: ENFJ 3w2
Dad: ESFJ 8w7 or 2w3

I was raise in a religious family, to put it lightly, their faith defines them. My father reads the bible every day.

My father has always been very... hammy to put it kindly. He is prolly the most temperamental person I know baring my sister. Since my father is prolly an 8w7, he is very domineering. I don't remember my childhood very well. I know my father is a fan of the the bible verse "spare the rod, spoil the child" so his method for trying to get me to do something was through punishment or threat of punishment. I have been punished in the form of spankings many times. My father is very far from analytical, but he is very observant to reality. He also holds quite a few personal issues stemming from the fact that his father died when he was 12 years old. He is quite clumsy as well. He is always scatterbrained and is losing things or hurting himself (not intentionally, he's just a klutz). He also has quite the temper and is a control freak. He also has very bizarre thoughts as much as I can gather based on how he relates to people and his sense of humor. Saying he lacks subtlety is putting it kindly. I think one of the reasons I can understand where people are coming from so well is because since I have very strong Ti, and the fact that my father doesn't make a whole lot of sense, I had to learn how to understand this man at a young age, which is why I can track the thought process of people who don't make sense. I took on one of the same traits he has which is that I just assume people know what I am talking about when they might not know what I am talking about. We both have one thing in common that is hard to ignore: we both have severe ADHD. He was a city bus driver for over 30 years; he recently retired this year. I am still quite scared from some of the ways he punished me. This is mostly to do with the fact that there was a mix of him spanking me when he was angry (prolly because he was angry look back on it, meaning I did nothing wrong) and the occasional spanking I would get with him telling me he was doing this because he loved me, but that I wouldn't understand (what a mind fuck amirite). In his mind, he thought he was being a good father by doing the latter because "spare the rod spoil the child". I am still terrified of my father when he is angry and I am 31 years old. Also, My father is quite stupid. Not like mentally challenged stupid, but below average intelligence for sure. He is very diligent, however, so he makes up for it that way.

My mother is a very caring person who bases almost all of her day to day tasks on intuition. She is quite magnanimous as well. Kinda larger than life in a quiet way. She has an incredible drive to achieve anything she sets her mind to. She is not brilliant, but she is a lot smarter than my father. She has always thought I was special and that came out is weird ways sometimes. She always was thinking there was something wrong with me because of how much she cares about me combined with the fact that her mother was a complete worry wart, which she inherited. She was not really the sympathizing type even though she cares deeply about the people around her. She is a very strong Judger, but you wouldn't know it by looking at her dresser. She also doesn't take shit from anyone and has my father on a tight leash. You would think this would mean I wouldn't get treated the way I did by my father. Not the case and I have no idea why except she also believes in the "spare the rod spoil the child", prolly because her father was a WWII vet. My mother also has a strong artistic bent to her. She almost makes creating things a daily occurrence. She is an avid gardener and painter. My mother always wanted me to succeed. I have to imagine that it was prolly mostly her idea to send me to a Southern Baptist type School that was very strict and had an advanced curriculum for students. My guess is that my mother wanted to send me to a prestigious Christian School and my father thought that a Southern Baptist school would be the perfect option (that school was stricter than the 10 commandments fwiw and I am not being facetious). My mother values education much more than my father. She is driven to succeed. She also has a great understanding of purpose for her own life, which she prolly wants me to feel confident about my own life as well. She Prolly would have done very well for herself if she would have gone to art school because she has talent. Instead, she went the teaching route. She got her degree when I was like 13 or something. She taught for a few years at one school and then changed schools. Then somewhere along the line, she got her masters in education. My mother is ever evolving, rather than constant, which is a big difference between my parents.

 

[Ex-User (8886)]

^up
about your father - no way he is esfj, what you describe fits esfp or isfp (also Fi people go much more deeper into religion than Fe, and Fe-dominant people very rarely hurt people
[Fi people - values above people, Fe - people above values] My father is isfp, he read bible every day too, he is dominant, punishing with his emotional critical speach (he is excelent at hurting people with words), he has often emotional outbursts, he can hurt people and do everything even if it's bad and hurt other - just to fulfill bible's words. (he is also very soft and caring sometimes, but only if you do what he want you to do).
mother is isfj, so I am emotionally washed intp...

 

[QuickTwist]

^up
about your father - no way he is esfj, what you describe fits esfp or isfp (also Fi people go much more deeper into religion than Fe, and Fe-dominant people very rarely hurt people
[Fi people - values above people, Fe - people above values] My father is isfp, he read bible every day too, he is dominant, punishing with his emotional critical speach (he is excelent at hurting people with words), he has often emotional outbursts, he can hurt people and do everything even if it's bad and hurt other - just to fulfill bible's words. (he is also very soft and caring sometimes, but only if you do what he want you to do).
mother is isfj, so I am emotionally washed intp...

You prolly think that because I left out how annoyingly gregarious he is and how social he is with everyone. But thanks for trying to correct me on what type my father is who I have known for 31 years and you have never had a single conversation with.

I gave the type of my parents and then talked about things I thought didn't specifically have to do with their type because it should already be understood what they are like regarding type.

 

[ZenRaiden]

It is very easy for parents to misunderstand INTPs.

 

[Ex-User (8886)]

You prolly think that because I left out how annoyingly gregarious he is and how social he is with everyone. But thanks for trying to correct me on what type my father is who I have known for 31 years and you have never had a single conversation with.

I gave the type of my parents and then talked about things I thought didn't specifically have to do with their type because it should already be understood what they are like regarding type.

It's very easy to misstype someone and I found you're story illogical. Also INTPs are not the best at typing people, because each person has multiple traits, and therefore none really fits into any model. Personally I found INTJs very accurate at typing.

And I don't really know your level of understanding personality types. And I'm INTP - I question everythink until something is crystal clear.

 

[Jennywocky]

It's very easy to misstype someone and I found you're story illogical. Also INTPs are not the best at typing people, because each person has multiple traits, and therefore none really fits into any model. Personally I found INTJs very accurate at typing.

Maybe we should categorize particular individuals as good at typing or not, versus entire MBTI groups, eh?

 

[QuickTwist]

Maybe we should categorize particular individuals as good at typing or not, versus entire MBTI groups, eh?

What would we use for criteria?

 

[Jennywocky]

What would we use for criteria?

Good question.

 

[Humbug]

Mom: INFJ
Dad: INTJ

My brother was diagnosed with ADHD (And later mild asbergers) when I was a kid. When they told me that he had ADHD they said that I probably had ADD but they weren't gonna get me tested cause they already knew.
I find it interesting that my parents (both J types) managed to raise three children who were all P types. We do all follow in their footsteps with IN, though

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

me: INFJ
mum: ENFP
dad: INTJ

I think having an INTJ father put me on the stupid path towards studying maths and science. But that may have happened anyway. He also encouraged me to study music at a young age, and art is important.

My secretiveness meant that I didn't speak to my parents much or share much with them. That only stopped a few years ago when I went crazy and had to vent. My moodiness/argumentativeness and paranoia have caused problems but it seems ok now. I think/hope.

Not sure what else to say.

--

Ok, just want to add that most of the type combinations listed in this thread sound stupidly unlikely. If you're going to guess at people's types, at least use guesses that make sense.

 

[Nebulous]

It's a wonder your fingers didn't burn off just typing this post.

My parents can be a bit paranoid.. to say the least.

I thought I had a big post written up on here. Must have it sitting in my notes unfinished. Darn it.
I feel weird posting about my parents, I mean talking about them behind their back with 'strangers' on the internet isn't something they or I would consider ok

But it's for science
But morals
But science

Ahhh

 

[Cleopatra Selene II]

I made my parents both take the test (a few times) so I know their types are accurate (plus I know cognitive functions).

Mom: INFP
Dad: ISFP

My mom was bipolar so there were times I got along with her and times I did not. I would get along with her well when we both were in a "silly" mood. She loved art and we shared an interest in that. We both were the only intuitives in our family so we understood looking at the big picture of things and we made fun of the rest of my sensor family together. She was very creative and she loved teaching me anything every chance she got. We loved each other but it was a hard relationship because I had to take care of her a lot (she also had depression and congestive heart failure that was genetic). She actually died a few months ago young (my brother was fourteen and I was sixteen at the time).

My dad is caring and absentminded. He is often a pushover. He caters to my brother and almost all the time overlooks my needs. He forgets that I am there a lot and he really doesn't check in on me often. The only interest we have in common is music. He has to work all of the time to support us so it is not really his fault he is so forgetful. When he is home, he is dealing with my needy and high-maintenance brother.

The thing I noticed with them both being dominant Fi types is that they both are really concerned with how they feel. I grew up not having a safe place to show emotion because if I did, I would be told I was wrong for feeling that way and if I even had an emotion that was anything different from what they were feeling, it would be considered wrong and they would take it personally. They never understood either how I could be detached from my emotions and how I could feel nothing so I grew up thinking I was defective in some way. I couldn't talk about my problems (like when I was getting severely bullied) because they would turn it into a conversation about themselves. Most of the time they would never care about my emotions (when they were present) like when I told them I was being bullied to the point where I did not want to live anymore, my mom told me to grow a pair of balls. I had basically no friends at the time and was ostracized by my school for being weird. I eventually learned not to show any negative emotion and not to express how I feel. I had to fake positive emotion all the time. I wasn't really allowed to be mad or sad so I constantly had to fake being happy all the time. They never understood either why I was detached from my emotions and they called me "over-dramatic" whenever an emotion just happened to surface (strongly) from being shoved down.

They may have their flaws and misunderstandings, but I still love my parents and I recognize that they never intended to hurt me.

Also, the other INTP I know who has Fi dominant parents as well also has to deal with a lot of the same crap. We both understand what it is like for our parents to not understand us and to expect us to be different people than who we are.

 

[Nebulous]

I think my mom is ESFP and my dad is INTP

I just came to this thread to say that my dad wants me to wear sunscreen while using my iPad to protect me from radiation

Someone save me

Now he wants me wearing sunglasses too

Dead serious