I lie! There's not a fun thing about it sometimes! I can't express myself lovingly, I don't know how to have a normal crush. I suck at communicating my thoughts and ideas and I cant find a guy that matches my personality to save my life. LET ALONE MAKE FRIENDS! My twin sister is and extrovet and completely opposite of me. She has more friends, is popular and people barely remember my name.
Most of you guys are INTPs! How did you live through high school?
Hello.
Registered to answer this.
If read correctly the aforementioned contains four concrete relationship statements, one mental concern.
The second is arguably simple so I'll address it first. Do you suffer lack of coherence when attempting to enlighten others or do you find your vocabulary insufficient to impart a particular concept?
If the former, this is relatively expected. Depending on situational social pressures, interference caused by perceived judgement can cause your thought process to "seize up." This is generally observed when a subject is around another whom she likes or knows dislikes her, for example. Unfortunately this is symptomatic of the type. Fe becomes relatively dominant, and its underdevelopment/lack of maturity leads to babbling or stuttering. tl;dr: Solvable only with concerted effort to increase what are essentially public speaking skills.
If the latter, the honest answer is read. Read anything and everything. I experienced the same issue when I was in the first year of middle school. Being annoyed to no end by this, my simplistic solution was to "learn more words." Objectively, this was accomplished, but caused issues of its own, namely a lack of understanding among some of those I now have to interact with. It's depressing how often I hear the phrase "Stop using big words."(Obligatory note: I in no way profess to be a word smith. The above could easily be viewed as arrogant. This is not intended.)
Relationship statements
Considering the subject of this board, a near complete lack of deep empathic understanding on my part may be excusable. That said, the objective aspects of your statement lend themselves, in my mind, to certain conclusions. A "normal crush" implies an attempt on your part to mold your relationships to an accepted social standard. To be blunt, this is guaranteed to fail. You, and we(mostly), are incapable of "normal" relationships. Note that this is entirely different from "incapable of having relationships." Yours will simply be different. And more difficult to find.
A perceived inability to "find a date" during your highschool period is unsurprising. This does not imply a defect, merely that your available sample size is...insufficient. While this is technically solvable by enlarging the sample(going out and being social) it is unlikely you would be comfortable with this.
Our type is rare. One to four percent of the population, depending on the source. Efforts to match the "normals" in behavior patter is unwise. It is inherently unfair to yourself. In all likelihood you will have to interact with someone for quite a while before they/you "make a move." Imagine this as dropping breadcrumbs for one or the other to follow. It takes time to reach the end of the trail.
It is very possible that you go through the entirety of highschool without ever going on a date. I did. I took the related harassment in stride. As someone mentioned above, hormones are a primary driving force of this behavior. True emotional connection at this stage is generally secondary, if considered at all.
Acquiring friends can indeed be problematic. Interestingly, I think I found a solution to it. It's failure is quite embarrassing, but when it succeeds is does so admirably. The downside is it takes considerable personal courage, something I, among others, struggle mightily with. Attempt this successively wherever people congregate. It is preferable if they are seated. Essentially, one eavesdrops. Find an excuse or reason to sit near another group of people, preferably small, and listen to the conversation. The vast majority will be uninteresting babble. Rarely, however, you may hear something that piques your interest. I specifically listen for an intelligently phrased point. More specifically, someone correcting another in a serious manner, as if attempting to clarify. If this happens, listen for a while longer. If that person takes little or no further part in the conversation(or whose input is mostly of this type), you have a potential friend. You may perhaps interject with a precision remark about the subject in question, or ask a detailed, specific question as the person walks by/leaves. I find that a logically framed query about a technical aspect of a subject immediately captures the attention of one like us. Note: This is for "instant" friends, as types close to each other "click" quite quickly. For the others, in my experience only the breadcrumb method has an acceptable chance of success.
And now a client called. I might remember to finish this. Unlikely.
