Numb?

[Black Rose]

That may be my problem.

I want to feel things but how?

I tried to tell people about it but that did not work.

So I should try something different?

I think I might need to do something physical.

Like yoga or tai chi

I find that just sitting and doing nothing helps when I can clear my mind.

When I do so it has this painfulness to it,

but ignoring it means the numbness won't go away.

Keeping busy often helps me ignore these problems.

But up to a point that no longer helps.

 

[Black Rose]

To move is painful,

To not move is painful.

Energy is drained.

 

[Old Things]

I am not an expert on you or what you are experiencing, but I would recommend seeing a therapist. Being "numb" is a sign that you are not mentally healthy. Mentally healthy people should experience a lot of different emotions throughout the day.

 

[Black Rose]

Sleep helped somewhat.

I still need to refrain from certain activities.

I might go on a walk later.

The therapist I have now is a government therapist.

It requires allot of my mental energy to talk to her.

I cannot get another one because I am poor.

I think I just need to find a way to conserve my energy.

 

[ZenRaiden]

Do you journal?

 

[Black Rose]

Do you journal?

Kind of, I have a blog.

I decided that I no longer wish to interact with people in certain ways anymore.

It seems that I cannot get out what I put in so I decided to stop making comments that are not meaningful or at least will bring a certain resolution to a situation.

That is, I decided to listen more or pause before I say/type anything as I know it will affect different people in different ways. Too much energy is wasted on the wrong effects.

I think it is about inhibition.

People can just go with whatever they think is in their head without considering the ramifications. I tried to hold back but it seems I need to hold back even more. Meaning I need more ability to inhibit wrong actions.

I was going too fast and now I need to slow down.

 

[Black Rose]

As with my therapist, trying to talk to people is useless because of their ego defense.

One video I saw said that autistic people prioritize information > circumstances > emotions well neurotypical people prefer emotions > circumstances > information

I do not think that this has anything to do with autism but it is a good indicator of how people are.

 

[Black Rose]

Doing sensory activity is hard because I am not connected to it emotionally.

I must be thinking all the time or working on something.

So it is the central nervous system that could be where I need to look at.

I cannot feel the center of my head where the brain stem and thalamus meet the spinal cord. That may be where emotions are. It is where I am most disconnected.

When I place awareness on that central point I feel calm yet uncomfortable.

I think that is where I suppress sadness as it is also the place I detect fear.

The whole limbic system and spinal cord are / seem hollow.

Placing my hands on my head and closing my eyes is required to fully concentrate on the location of these areas.

 

[Black Rose]

The silent whisper of knowledge​

​

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

information > circumstances > emotions

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

I want to feel things but how?

 

[fractalwalrus]

I want to feel things but how?

She was definitely stroking the organ that is commonly associated with insight....

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

commonly associated

 

[fractalwalrus]

commonly associated

 

[LOGICZOMBIE]

commonly associated

nice

 

[fractalwalrus]

commonly associated

nice