No Father?

[Black Rose]

Cog posted this image:

I am not 100% sure how the anime goes but in Evangelion, the girl Asuka saw her mother die at age 4. I do not recall what happened to the father. Asuka wanted to be recognized, so she did wild shit.

I think that when no one sets boundaries for a person growing up, you want to get things from other people.

And this does have to do with who is recognizing you if it is the mother or father.

I have often felt disappointed in myself because I never matured past the age of 12

Asuka never got past the age of 7

shinji was 4 when his mom died and stayed that way.

shinji is a new type, he processes things in parallel and is absorptive in sensations.

I think I am more linear and linguistic but not super extreme to that end, I might have been a new type early on.

I would say that because my mother was ok to me early I never got as damaged as I could have been.

Only after my mom could not help me in school did I have problems because I was on my own intellectually.

Before age 11 children need the mother but after age 12 they need the father.

I did not have my father.

When I graduated high school I don't think I had much purpose in life.

Relying on myself was not a problem until I needed to do that because all I had to do was my school project.

After I graduated understanding the computer was hard since I dropped out of college and had to be a janitor 2 years.

When I got my house I took care of other people but stayed on my computer the whole time.

I never had a girlfriend because I never had a social network of friends in school.

Since I have nothing to do I work on my computer project instead. (even if I am not smart enough to do it)

 

[dr froyd]

i was raised in a mostly broken home altogether, but got most of my upbringing from my father after they divorced. Dude was straight out of serving in military and often applied a military logic to my upbringing. There's upsides and downsides to that. I definitely learned a lot about self-reliance and self-discipline, but in terms of forming emotional connections.. well that part was pretty much non-existent. I often feel bad for having practically zero emotional connection to my mother, but i feel like ive tried and found im simply incapable of it. I dont even know how to receive emotional support from other people. Probably sounds fucked up but it's actually fine - you just learn to sort out everything in your own head

 

[Black Rose]

I am pretty much emotionally unstable in that I need emotional connections but lack them. Yet I do not seek them because I get rejected too often and can tell when that will happen. In attachment theory, it is called fearful attachment. The attachment style of needy people is also emotionally unstable but these people cling to others, whomever they can to get some kind of security. Avoidant attachment is the one where people become most independent and the least responsive to others. Stable attachment can both bond with others and one is not afraid to do things by themselves. 1 third of the population is stable and the rest fluctuate granularly between some stability and some fear, needyness, and independence.

 

[fractalwalrus]

i was raised in a mostly broken home altogether, but got most of my upbringing from my father after they divorced. Dude was straight out of serving in military and often applied a military logic to my upbringing. There's upsides and downsides to that. I definitely learned a lot about self-reliance and self-discipline, but in terms of forming emotional connections.. well that part was pretty much non-existent. I often feel bad for having practically zero emotional connection to my mother, but i feel like ive tried and found im simply incapable of it. I dont even know how to receive emotional support from other people. Probably sounds fucked up but it's actually fine - you just learn to sort out everything in your own head

Have you ever considered how much of a role this has had in your opposition to do-gooder ideologies? You were shown a distinct lack of empathy in your upbringing, which likely influenced your current attitudes towards people who display empathy. We aren't as free as we like to believe. Also, have you ever considered the consequences to a society filled with people whose psyches are like your parents? Do you ever think that the last thing a military person should want is an opponent who is stronger than them? Do you really want to live life surrounded by people who have no concern for your wellbeing?

 

[dr froyd]

i was raised in a mostly broken home altogether, but got most of my upbringing from my father after they divorced. Dude was straight out of serving in military and often applied a military logic to my upbringing. There's upsides and downsides to that. I definitely learned a lot about self-reliance and self-discipline, but in terms of forming emotional connections.. well that part was pretty much non-existent. I often feel bad for having practically zero emotional connection to my mother, but i feel like ive tried and found im simply incapable of it. I dont even know how to receive emotional support from other people. Probably sounds fucked up but it's actually fine - you just learn to sort out everything in your own head

Have you ever considered how much of a role this has had in your opposition to do-gooder ideologies? You were shown a distinct lack of empathy in your upbringing, which likely influenced your current attitudes towards people who display empathy. We aren't as free as we like to believe. Also, have you ever considered the consequences to a society filled with people whose psyches are like your parents? Do you ever think that the last thing a military person should want is an opponent who is stronger than them? Do you really want to live life surrounded by people who have no concern for your wellbeing?

i have indeed considered it, and it's probably true. But then again empathy is not morality - it's just an emotion, like hatred. My upbringing just made such emotions more controllable. I know I am an ape when i feel empathy and hatred alike - I do feel those things all the time but I take pride in neither.

ive seen many examples of how adherents of do-gooder ideologies treat fellow human beings. And I'm talking about flesh-and-bone human beings, not human beings as an abstract concept or a bunch of numbers in a table. Those displays were not too impressive from a moral standpoint. The problem is revealed by its name - ideology. Ideology just reorients your compass of hatred and empathy.

 

[fractalwalrus]

i was raised in a mostly broken home altogether, but got most of my upbringing from my father after they divorced. Dude was straight out of serving in military and often applied a military logic to my upbringing. There's upsides and downsides to that. I definitely learned a lot about self-reliance and self-discipline, but in terms of forming emotional connections.. well that part was pretty much non-existent. I often feel bad for having practically zero emotional connection to my mother, but i feel like ive tried and found im simply incapable of it. I dont even know how to receive emotional support from other people. Probably sounds fucked up but it's actually fine - you just learn to sort out everything in your own head

Have you ever considered how much of a role this has had in your opposition to do-gooder ideologies? You were shown a distinct lack of empathy in your upbringing, which likely influenced your current attitudes towards people who display empathy. We aren't as free as we like to believe. Also, have you ever considered the consequences to a society filled with people whose psyches are like your parents? Do you ever think that the last thing a military person should want is an opponent who is stronger than them? Do you really want to live life surrounded by people who have no concern for your wellbeing?

i have indeed considered it, and it's probably true. But then again empathy is not morality - it's just an emotion, like hatred. My upbringing just made such emotions more controllable. I know I am an ape when i feel empathy and hatred alike - I do feel those things all the time but I take pride in neither.

ive seen many examples of how adherents of do-gooder ideologies treat fellow human beings. And I'm talking about flesh-and-bone human beings, not human beings as an abstract concept or a bunch of numbers in a table. Those displays were not too impressive from a moral standpoint. The problem is revealed by its name - ideology. Ideology just reorients your compass of hatred and empathy.

Hopefully you can understand why I interjected some psychoanalysis into the convo, Dr. Froyd. Would I be correct in assuming that by stating that empathy is not morality you are making a distinction between an ethical framework (which is essentially a behavioral control system) and the capacity for understanding the perspective of the other? I could see those two things as distinct. I would ask, however, for some clarification as to why someone would choose to enact a system of morality on themselves, if they lack the capacity (or suppress) their capacity for empathy? Why care about one's own behavior and its impact on others if one does not have the capacity to see the perspective or be concerned about the other?

If I understand correctly, then your concern with do-gooder ideologies is not necessarily with the moral underpinnings of said framework, but the practical applications of how some people execute said framework. In other words, these do-gooders you speak of would be still be capable of doing harm to outgroups. Ah, that can certainly be argued to be the case sometimes, after all, it takes a rather unique individual to be able to not see their peers in terms of good and evil. And yet, there is another problem. If one encounters someone who they believe to be doing objectively harmful things, how should they handle it in a way that creates the greatest good for the greatest many?