Never thought this would happen to me.

[QuickTwist]

You know that stereotype of the "old" people who are trying to be "helpful" but are just plain annoying? Yeah, that's about what I feel like at this stage in my life.

Age has a way of creeping up on you. When I was young I was so concerned about fitting in (without actually trying to fit in) and figuring stuff out for myself. Now that I have gotten older, I have started to look for ways to be helpful to people who may not have all their cards straight when it is convenient. Its a strange change of mindset I have noticed from being primarily concerned with only myself to reaching out to share what I have learned, what I have reasoned out to make sense to me.

I find myself in a somewhat awkward position because I don't really have a lot of tangible skills and there is plenty of advice I can get from more experienced people, but I do feel that I have learned some things about life that I feel "If only they would listen..."

I am someone who has largely squandered my giftings (whatever they may be) and become somewhat complacent with life. I am just kinda coasting with no real structure to guide me. But I do think I have this thing in me that want to contribute to the rest of society -- whatever giftings and knowledge I DO have I want to share. This comes across as much less critical than it would have when I was younger because I am no longer doing it for me, but for others.

So this precarious position I find myself in, I feel I should help, but I also feel somewhat incompetent. Reason for this is that I feel I do have a bit different way of looking at the world as a whole. Whether this is attributed to my MBTI type or my age or what I have been diagnosed with that makes me different I am not sure. I just know that it feels very fleeting to want to share with a younger generation only to not be able to do it in the right way.

Has anyone else been here? Does anyone else even know what I am talking about and can anyone else relate?

 

[Black Rose]

The best way to help is to listen.
If people have problems they will tell you.
It's a matter of them having you there so that they can have what they need.
If what they need is advice it will come after they know that you are the one to ask.

 

[EditorOne]

I see no reason not to share what you've learned and experienced, especially with INTP personalities who have enough of a hill to push the rock up. While self-awareness of this stuff is much higher than it was when I was as young as many of the posters on here, it still helps to hear someone older than yourself with the same problems say "here's what worked for me" or, even more importantly, "here's what
DIDN'T work for me." It's insight, which is valuable coin in the INTP world. :-)

I can do the same vocationally on archaic themes like print journalism and writing. If I don't know what I'm talking about, I just shut up, which I think very nicely explains my long silences.....

 

[EditorOne]

PS "Squandering of gifts" is judgmental, cut that crap out! There's no pressure. You've been listening to people who give you straight A's on class content but add comments like "could try harder." D'oh. If you are self sufficient most of the time and haven't done anything to hurt anyone, you're a success.

 

[QuickTwist]

I read through these posts a couple of times and really tried to soak up the message that was there. It seems timing is everything in these things and its generally not a good idea to try and give advice about things that you have no idea about.

I am just wondering now what I have to contribute considering my default is not necessarily the norm.