The Ontological Proof of Ninjas
When we talk about the ninja, we are talking about the sweetest being ever – that is, we are talking about the being that which nothing sweeter can be conceived. So, when we conceive the ninja in our mind, we conceive of the being than which nothing sweeter can be conceived. But consider this: Is it sweeter to exist only in the mind or to exist both in the mind and in reality – outside the mind. Certainly, it is much sweeter to exist also in reality – flipping out and wailing on guitars is much sweeter when someone is actually doing it. So when we conceive of the sweetest being ever, we are conceiving of the being that exists both in the mind and in reality. Since the ninja is that being which nothing sweeter can be conceived and that being exists in the mind and in reality, the ninja exists in reality. Thus, the ninja exists.
---Hamburger, Robert. REAL Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book – Hi, This Book is All About Ninjas, REAL NINJAS. This Book is Awesome. My Name is Robert and I Can't Stop Thinking About Ninjas. These Guys Are Cool; and By Cool, I Mean Totally Sweet. Page 7. New York: Citadel Press, July 1, 2004.
