I'm seeming an INTP when I'm around a lot of people, but when I'm around my friends I get extraverted to them only.
I become extroverted when I'm around people where I can actually express my strongly N self in some way. Like I can talk about Art or Programming or Politics or something of actual consequence to me. Around bulk masses of people, I am introverted, because what they say doesn't have a lot of importance and is boring to me. I'm not inherently interested in their chit-chat, although I can play the game of social graces to an extent. Only so long though; if nothing emerges that I can actually lock onto and find interesting, I'm going to seek to escape.
I have at times tried to entertain the exercise of initiating and leading a conversation towards directions I personally would like it to go. Such as talking about things that interest
me. Problem is that in the real world, crickets usually chirp. Attempted over and over again for thousands of times, this becomes disheartening. So I become gunshy and stop trying. I am often likely to look for subtle cues about a person, indicators that they will or won't respond "the boring" way to things. This makes me a lot less investigative than I used to be when I was younger.
But hey I am older now, and how much do I have to keep beating my head against people's human limitations? I go back and forth about this. Sometimes I merely think, yep, I've got people sussed, people who exhibit cue X are boring. Other times I think you don't really know that, you haven't adequately tested that, you're just using it as a defense mechanism against having your energy wasted as usual.
Particularly comes up when trying to talk to random women that I'm sexually attracted to. Like, oh god, here we go again. World would be a lot easier if we didn't have to try to make mental links in order to fuck. You may say that reality actually exists out there somewhere, but it certainly hasn't been true in
my experience. Whatever cues
they're looking for to save energy, I don't seem to have been providing them.
Wonder if I need to attend a convention of rationals, like an atheist convention or something.