Misconceptions around innate character resilience

[BurnedOut]

Are people stronger than they realize or are they a product of circumstances? I think that even if resilience is an inheritable character trait, it does not make up for the fact that coincidences play a greater role in shaping one's mind.

People cannot be expected to be resilient from the very beginning but due to heuristic of spotting patterns, people end up attributing positive personality traits to somebody simply because they have been more successful in their lives. If lives are so heavily dependent on one's character, how is that many people end up changing as time passes?

I know a person who lacks upper limbs due to a childhood mishap which got them electrocuted. Despite all that, the man is more optimistic than Usain Bolt despite lacking his arms. His childhood was consisted of very supportive people throughout his school life and social life. I feel that if that person was discriminated and mistreated, he would have emerged with low self-esteem instead of ending up working for the UN and then for the Indian Government as a policy consultant. Sadly, saying this would be taboo. I might potentially be excommunicated by him. However, does it change the fact that he was as resilient as he is portrayed to be?

The real question is this - as human beings, how many decisions that we end up making turn out the way we intend them to? Or do our expectations change as time passes too? These are poignant questions that psychology is not answering. Even if therapy does not innately assume that character resilience actually matters, I, after speaking to my former therapists, realized that therapists themselves have this false notion of a patient's progress dependent on her levels of emotional resilience. They tend to either 'adult' towards the patients if they feel that the patients are self-aware enough to accept criticism or 'parent' towards the patients if they feel that the patient tends to cower behind their backs. This is morally incorrect because the actions of the therapist and the reaction of the patient set up a self-fulfilling prophecy that seconds the patient's lack of courage to face her demons and the patient's thought that she is useless and therapy won't work on her.

It is very easy to attribute the future to one person by the way they present themselves. We are all guilty of this but we should try to understand from various real-life experiments and history itself that circumstances determine the character of a person much more than the person themselves. That being said, there are no 'masters' and there are no 'slaves' psychologically but politically it is convenient. This has got nothing to do with Capitalism because capitalism is rather pragmatic in this regard: Lift yourself up and become rich. And that is morally correct. It is not thought of as morally correct because Capitalism implies stepping over people's necks to achieve the goal but I don't think that there are any implications as such that can be derived from Capitalism.

This should make us rethink our thoughts about others. Is it okay to judge their characters or is it not? I cannot comment on that but what I can say is my life experience has taught me many things are simply out of our hands and the march of time writes your life's melody more than you. Your decisions matter a lot but your decisions if aligned with time will make you happy and if they are not, will fuck you and there is nothing you can do to stop that.

 

[ZenRaiden]

Nonsense is nonsense either way. Politics and psychology have zilch to do with each other. But psychology may or may not be tied to politics.
To put simply what you believe in politics does not define who you are.
Being communist does not define someones behavior, or capitalist.
If you live in capitalism you live depending on options you have or not have.

Resilience is yet another buzz word that does not mean much.

I have never been to therapy so I don't really know what that is about. Hard to say.

That being said in general what measure is used measure someones actual behavior depends on lot of things.

Your decisions matter a lot but your decisions if aligned with time will make you happy

Decisions don't matter or matter alot depending what you are deciding.
If you are deciding on eating icecream then that is what it is.
If you are deciding on your profession then that is probably a decision that will define your life.
If you are deciding on who to be with it pretty much does define your life, because people around you will try to influence you.
One main reason I don't like being around people.

I don't think mistreated or discriminated means you emerge with low self esteem.
It depends on lot of factors, one being who does the discriminating and mistreatment.
Because realistically all people are at some point in life discriminated and mistreated.
Question is what it is qualitatively.
For example people who are from childhood treated as tools end up being adult tools as well.
If people are treated as people they tend to act like people.
If people are praised or criticized, it depends who does the criticism and praising and what situation.
Its hard to take false praise or criticism to heart. Which kind of means it falls flat.
Its also hard to take it seriously if its only for ulterior motive or agenda, rather than genuine.
People are not dumb, enough to believe everything.

It also might not matter at all. Some situation have zilch to do with people. Sometimes people just make decisions for whatever reasons.

Some life decisions just seem more sensible than others so people take and make those decisions.

Overall human behavior is not that easy to follow.

 

[Black Rose]

There is a difference between thriving and stagnating. It depends on what is being reinforced. Because either you build up or become floppy and unstiff. Not flexible but limp. If you are unable to meet the challenge either you brake or you dilapidated.

With my depression, I was unable to find flexibility. Everything I did was tired not awake, cold, wet warm. Sleeping during the day. What happens is a shock wakes you out. It has too. You need to be up during the day. Energized. Eat right. All those things that make you stiffen up. Be flexible, not limp.

If you can't keep going you need something to push you until you can keep going on your own. because strength is not there it needs to be built.

Just whatever builds strength. That means to keep going. Don't stop.

 

[onesteptwostep]

My god, it's like I'm seeing the beginnings of a life of preisthood when I read stuff like this.

To me humans are super fickle. I know because I see it in myself all the time. The more I grow old, the more I realize how real the events and emotions people live through, and that they are not simple caricature characters. But sometimes you need to be firm and act as if people are simple- sometimes you need to act with compassion. Like the MBTI not everything is set in stone. The more you realize emotions, the more you realize the depth our human civilization has to offer in its deep, wellspring of a culture. Beyond the gates of thinking, of philosophy, lies the jungle of religion. If math is the language of logic, and language the language of philososphy, spirit is the language of religion.

Or so I think. I ain't no priest ^_~

 

[Black Rose]

I'm at the library and I feel a lot better that I did at home.

Sunlight is a good thing. not so cold. less depressed. less sleepy.

I need to do more of this outside stuff.

Do what helps I say.

 

[ZenRaiden]

The more you realize emotions, the more you realize the depth our human civilization has to offer in its deep, wellspring of a culture.

No its not.
Its just a more boring and sadder version of pulp fiction.
Culture or human interactions are really not that interesting.
There is only so many things you can do around people and honestly most of it is kind of the same thing over and over again.
Schools are more of a social club too, and most work environments today are about socialising trying to navigate whatever whatevers.
I used to think I want to socialise, but honestly the benefits of socializing and the cons are pretty much even if not for the worse.

Socialising is drag.
I think most people today socialise for mere socialising, which is kind of cool too.

Pretty sure my own personal mission to date is to dodge social anything.
I never really understood what got me so depressed lot of time I think its just generally being around people.

Apart of not getting a lot of the socialisng I think I also lost the interest in it along the way.
Or I never had it in the first place. Can't tell.

For the past years I socialized only because its a kind of thing people do, enjoyed some of it a little bit, but honestly if I could go back in time Id probably spend more time alone.

I mean time is short in life why waste it on social stuff.

 

[onesteptwostep]

The more you realize emotions, the more you realize the depth our human civilization has to offer in its deep, wellspring of a culture.

No its not.
Its just a more boring and sadder version of pulp fiction.
Culture or human interactions are really not that interesting.
There is only so many things you can do around people and honestly most of it is kind of the same thing over and over again.
Schools are more of a social club too, and most work environments today are about socialising trying to navigate whatever whatevers.

Well that's contemporary culture. If you look at artistic works or literature from past ages, you'd find that a lot of our emotional ills have been journeyed through already.

If you're familiar with alienation, maybe reading Charles Baudelaire would be fun. If you're into philosophy, works by Arthur Schopenhauer or Camus. I found this video pretty hilarious when I found it a couple weeks ago:
Your emotions or your state of mind has been gone through by most likely millions of people already. There is and have been plenty of humans who've felt and lived the same way you and I have.

 

[Black Rose]

I was at the store and felt really sad for no reason, I'm home now got anxious at the library. me and my mom will go to the park soon. eating a hotdog now.

my system is adjusting to the conditions I'm in. the root cause of my depression is not doing anything. I need to do something, outside.

at night I sit in bed and do nothing, been this way 6 months. I need to be awake during the day.

 

[dr froyd]

that penguin was an explorer, a visionary

 

[ZenRaiden]

Your emotions or your state of mind has been gone through by most likely millions of people already. There is and have been plenty of humans who've felt and lived the same way you and I have.

Probably yes, and I am not that surprised.
Seem obvious.