As far as i know, im an intp. But i have anxiety and depression issues. I have social anxiety which makes me scared to talk or be my true self at school, and i really dont know how id act in a school or college setting without this social anxiety. At home im obnoxious weird and energetic, and confident. at school im a different person. My voice changes and has this nervous tone, i never argue and i just dont talk. i keep to myslelf and sit in the back of the room hoping noone talks to me....... My main concern here is how do mental conditions effect personality type. If i didnt have social anxiety id probably be an entp. but i couldnt know for sure. Am i an intp because i have social anxiety? I know intps arent social but i avoid social situations all the time. i might even have avoidant personality disorder or selective mutism. I just wana know if theres any way to tell personality without the whole anxiety filter..Been thinking about it lately and im sick of living like this.. If i didnt have this anxiety, id be an entp most likely, or just a really intesting intp. Id literally accomplish so many different things, but the anxiety literally restricts me from doing social things, like joking around at school. I wish so bad i could share my sense of humor with everyone, ive seen what an intp can be without anxiety, one of my only firnds from HS was i think an extroverted intp haha, and everone liked him and he was hilarious with his clever and witty sense of humor...so...anyone know anything about social anxiety and all this bullshit? or how do reduce it? id really like to open up and bbe myself for college.
No, INTP isn't defined by social anxiety. I used to think that was a big part of it, but it doesn't have to be. I've always been really introverted, and still am. Though until about a year ago, I had social anxiety to varying degrees. There have been times that I was so afraid of talking on the phone that it resulted in an emotional breakdown. I would almost never hang out with what few friends I had because I was too scared of all the what-ifs. A couple years ago when I was trying to get a job, I was scared stiff of going in to talk to all those managers about jobs. I would stand at least 15 minutes in front of a given business, inwardly debating whether or not to go in and ask about jobs. It was agony. I'm pretty sure I know what social anxiety is.
How did I get over it? There were a ton of different factors, and it was a gradual process. Here is a list of things that helped me.
- The few people who did know me well gave me a sense of how others perceive me, and what talents and assets I can share with others, such as my wit, my knowledge, my charming Ne front, among other things. Assess yourself and your strengths and weaknesses until you automatically can think of the things you have to offer the world, and the people you want to talk to, if you could only get over your fear. At least for me, much of my anxiety was that I didn't think I had much to offer others, and didn't see the point in talking if that was the case.
- I got a job that allows me to be introverted...most of the time. I help out at my dad's dental practice. It's very introvert friendly in that I only have 3 coworkers and 2 bosses (which happen to be Mom and Dad), I'm not required to talk to the patients for the most part, and many of my duties are solitary in nature. Either I'm cleaning, doing data entry, or assisting with some procedure or other where the patient can't talk to me. However, when one of the people at the front desk have to take a break, I am often the one answering the phone. Initially, I was really nervous about this. I would stumble over my words when I answered the phone. But after reminded myself to stop caring so much, all I had to do was memorize a couple lines, listen to whatever was being said, and take a message. It was fine as soon as I could make myself stop thinking about it. Trust me, it is possible to stop thinking for stuff like this.
Anyway, the fact that I get stretched out of my comfort zone gradually helped me get over my anxiety. Now I'm just fine answering phones. I still don't like it, but I am no longer afraid.
- College. I lost much of my personal bubble by having 5 other roommates. It was awkward the first couple days, but it worked out. What was especially helpful was that my extroverted roommate would take me with her when she went to hang out with friends. Some of those friends became my friends. Another thing that helps is making a point to ask questions in class. You will remember more, and it's practice for just making talking feel natural. It seems that with social anxiety, it takes extra effort to open your mouth to say anything in the first place.
- discover the potential of Ne. When I had social anxiety, I thought that Ne was purely for making mental connections. But it can also be a powerful tool when used in a social context. Ne can be used to quickly bounce off of the things other people are saying. As a result, much of what I say in a given conversation begins with "speaking of which...". Also, keep track of whose comments you are bouncing off of the most. These are typically potential friends. When I use these Ne tactics, people even go as far as saying that I'm charming and witty. This is a great front to start out with, while still totally being yourself.
- persuade yourself to get out. Even getting out to do something by yourself helps. Getting out the door seems to be the hardest step sometimes.
- Don't try to get out of this via logic. While logic makes it easy to see that there's little to lose by talking to someone, that same "rationality" can morph to fuel social anxiety. Much of what fueled my anxiety was flawed "circular logic". In fact, it's only easier if you stop thinking for a while.
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