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Men's Pride

Cognisant

cackling in the trenches
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Yesterday 1:13 PM
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I'm first aid certified and I didn't do that because I found the idea of it appealing, I would be quite happy to never have deal with a medical emergency, but I'd also like to be prepared to handle an emergency, better to have and not need than to need and not have.

My attitude towards violence is the same, I'm not out looking for opportunities to get into fights in some misguided idea that I'll impress somebody. But if a situation were to arise I'd prefer to be physically and mentally prepared to do something, not because I want to put myself in danger, quite frankly the idea terrifies me and I avoid conflict whenever possible. But what scares me more is being there and not being able to do anything, hence why I mentioned first aid, because to me it's the same fear. The fear that in moment when it truly matters I'll be inadequate and then I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life.

Part of being mentally prepared is handling the fear of putting oneself in danger and more than getting hurt what scares me are the potential legal ramifications, and the court of public opinion. I used to be quite bitter about this and was of the opinion that if society wants to be that way then that's just the way it is, if bad things happen it's not my responsibility, and while that's not factually wrong but it's an attitude I think I've grown out of.

Bitterness eats the soul, I want to be the person who helps, whether it's optimal or not it's part of me and to reject it is to reject part of who I am, and I believe this is true for all men, that in all of us there's a part of us that wants to do the right thing for no other reason than because it's the right thing to do.

Maybe it's just my perception, maybe I've just lived a life that has biased me this way, but it seems to me society (Western society) holds a particularly dim view of men and consequently the boys who grow up in that society internalized this negative perception of manhood. That a man is like a woman, except brutish and dumb, that being a man is something to be ashamed of or simply a negative trait that needs to be managed, that being a man is okay, as long as you keep it under control.

Men are hierarchical, men are stoic, a certain kind of combativeness/competitiveness, men are assertive, and to a third-wave feminist all of these traits are toxic, unless they're present in a woman. I think being a man is a good thing, something to be proud of, "proud" in the same sense as what pride used to mean for the gay community, not that it's an inherent virtue in of itself but rather something one shouldn't be ashamed of.

When I worked in retail oh so many years ago the store manager would assign the girls to working the registers and guys like myself would be stacking shelves, being able to put excess stock in the high overheads without needing a ladder (although I think I fucked my back doing that) meant I could do it faster. The store I worked in sold office supplies and had a generous return policy, so of course we'd get crackheads who would steal offices supplies, often from our shelves, and then try to claim the return policy refund. Yes it was very stupid, but it worked, not because they had any legitimate claim to a refund but rather they would verbally abuse the girls at point of sale until, at the point of tears, they would acquiesce to the demand.

So my 185cm +100kg self would step in, take over the register, and smile menacingly.

Would an SMG have improved the outcome of that situation? Probably not.
I'd probably have been shot by some meth addicted fuckwit who got mad that I was ruining their scheme.

Realistically in a fight against someone who is contentious enough to have experience fighting (I don't) I'm probably getting my ass kicked, and that's putting it nicely. But if I see someone getting accosted and I intervene, and I'm losing, at least if my intervention is enough to inspire someone else to step up, then I've succeeded. It may not be a victory for me personally but it'll be a victory for decent people over the fuckwits of the world, and I can't say that's worth it, but it's enough.

 

Puffy

"Wtf even was that"
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Path with heart
See this is why I said that you're more Batman, Cog. This is a Batman post. :D

In seriousness though, something I rarely do, my curiosity is whether something like martial arts or combat sports might be healthy for you to explore. Depending on the discipline it's often rooted in cultivating these kinds of virtues you're identifying as masculine.

Though I feel it's important to acknowledge anyone's limitations in self-defence too. Regardless of whether someone is an expert in boxing or whatever, if someone comes at you with a knife the odds are significantly against you. Most self-defence experts are going to advocate doing what you can to escape or deescalate at the soonest opportunity in a conflict. Fighting is always a last resort.

To me it's more about the cultivation of spirit and inner strength and virtue than it is necessarily going Batman on thugs or petty criminals attacking women.
 

dr froyd

__________________________________________________
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to me it just sounds like a strange combo; i don't see what situation it would be where your downside in legal ramifications is bigger than in physical injury.

getting punched in the face once can mean a skull fracture and a serious chance of death if you're standing on pavement and fall to the ground, for example. It's a pretty common scenario. I would be much more worried about that than getting sued.

i mean i actually agree with the general idea; we live in a world where the civilized people have no clue how to deal with physical altercation, or even the prospect of it. That itself probably causes harm because nobody knows how to do it in a controlled manner, so when it does happen all kinds of bad shit happens. But I don't think the legal system is to blame - it's just that culture has completely abandoned this aspect of being a human. So it's more of a personal choice if you want to focus on it.
 

ZenRaiden

One atom of me
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Between concrete walls
and to a third-wave feminist
I have not seen one in the wild yet. I see them on internet, and seen some flag pride parade not so long ago, but I have yet to come across a female that is actually feminist of any kind.
 

scorpiomover

The little professor
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Today 12:13 AM
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May 3, 2011
Messages
3,383
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I'm first aid certified and I didn't do that because I found the idea of it appealing, I would be quite happy to never have deal with a medical emergency, but I'd also like to be prepared to handle an emergency, better to have and not need than to need and not have.

My attitude towards violence is the same, I'm not out looking for opportunities to get into fights in some misguided idea that I'll impress somebody. But if a situation were to arise I'd prefer to be physically and mentally prepared to do something, not because I want to put myself in danger, quite frankly the idea terrifies me and I avoid conflict whenever possible. But what scares me more is being there and not being able to do anything, hence why I mentioned first aid, because to me it's the same fear. The fear that in moment when it truly matters I'll be inadequate and then I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life.

Part of being mentally prepared is handling the fear of putting oneself in danger and more than getting hurt what scares me are the potential legal ramifications, and the court of public opinion. I used to be quite bitter about this and was of the opinion that if society wants to be that way then that's just the way it is, if bad things happen it's not my responsibility, and while that's not factually wrong but it's an attitude I think I've grown out of.

Bitterness eats the soul, I want to be the person who helps, whether it's optimal or not it's part of me and to reject it is to reject part of who I am, and I believe this is true for all men, that in all of us there's a part of us that wants to do the right thing for no other reason than because it's the right thing to do.
Sounds like you want to be a provider and protector for other people, the classical male role. I'm sure that lots of feminists would love it if more men were like that, and so should value your efforts.

Maybe it's just my perception, maybe I've just lived a life that has biased me this way, but it seems to me society (Western society) holds a particularly dim view of men and consequently the boys who grow up in that society internalized this negative perception of manhood. That a man is like a woman, except brutish and dumb, that being a man is something to be ashamed of or simply a negative trait that needs to be managed, that being a man is okay, as long as you keep it under control.
Sounds like a deficiency schema.
A deficiency schema, also known as a defectiveness/shame schema, is a core belief that a person is flawed and unworthy, and that others will reject them if they get too close. This schema can lead to feelings of shame and inadequacy, and can prevent people from forming healthy relationships.

Some signs of a deficiency schema include: Avoiding close relationships, Being overly critical of oneself, Having difficulty accepting compliments, Being drawn to people who are abusive or mistreating, and Being hypersensitive to criticism or rejection.

The schema can be linked to childhood experiences where a child was made to feel unworthy of love by their family or peers. Schemas can also develop when a child's emotional needs are not met by their caregivers.

Understanding and addressing a deficiency schema can help people develop a healthier view of themselves and more fulfilling relationships. Setting realistic goals can be a powerful strategy to counteract the feelings of incompetence associated with a deficiency schema.

The important thing to understand, is that each person has different levels of skills and abilities. In any situation, some can achieve more and some can achieve less. But the vast majority of people would still be able to achieve something.

Even those who cannot be of ANY help in that situation, would probably be of some use in other situations.

So everyone has some measure of competency and intelligence.

A deficiency schema normally occurs when someone has been raised by parents who are continually critical of him, and claim that he's "incompetent", "useless", "ugly", or with comments like "no-one would want you", or "who would want you?" Unqualified absolute statements like these give the false impression that the person has no competency or intelligence that would be of value in ANY situation.

It makes people think that everyone else is better off if they don't try at all, at anything.

If a child was raised to think of himself this way, the parents would probably be accused of child abuse.

The difficulty today, is that the messages we now hear since we were babies, are the messages of the MSM, several times a day, every day, from birth till 18 and into adulthood, just like parents would tell their child things about themselves from birth till18 and into adulthood. So they are in effect causing the same phenomena and results that we would associate with abusive parents.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. It's just plain wrong.

You have to learn to be objective, to stop evaluating things about yourself based on the messages that the MSM have spread through society, because they're just plain wrong.

You have to evaluate yourself based on the parts of evidence that are objective, object-based, the things that are the same for all interpretations.

E.G. Would everyone agree it would be better if there was one more person who knew CPR and could use it if he was the only person at an accident, or the first person at an accident? Then you knowing CPR is a plus for society and something that people should be pleased about.
 

scorpiomover

The little professor
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FYI, saying that you're dumb, brutish, incompetent, etc, when you're not, and keeping on saying it over and over until you believe it, is called gaslighting.
 

Cognisant

cackling in the trenches
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Yup that's what it is.
 

Old Things

I am unworthy of His grace
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Great post. Responsibility is a good thing, and men should have goals.
 
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