Meaning

[Coolydudey]

Having not been in a relationship for a while, I met this girl a few days ago that I've started going out with. We haven't done much yet, but I already feel quite close to her, I'd say we're pretty similar too (I suspect she may be an INTX). Anyway, the board has long known that I am a nihilist of various sorts. And while my choices are on the whole moral and my actions justified (because I like things that way, it's my emotional brain), I've never really sensed any "meaning" in life. Yet now I feel I can really give myself a good reason to have a proper shower in the morning, keep my room decent, and a whole bunch of other things. Sure, this hasn't been going on for long enough for me to say that it's what's giving meaning to my life; But it almost feels like it permeates everything with a purpose, my emotional brain grounding me to the real world which I usually dismiss as not necessarily true.

So, what, if anything, gives you a reason to do things in your life? Are you just on autopilot, as many people her claim to be, and I pretty much was?

 

[BigApplePi]

So, what, if anything, gives you a reason to do things in your life?

Absolutely. I can't speak for gays, but I've always valued a woman around. They provide a reason for being* ... goals. If you are a male and don't have a significant other, get a hobby. That will give you a purpose. If you are a female and don't have a significant other, get a hobby. That will give you a purpose. If you are neither and don't have a significant other, get a hobby. That will give you a purpose. If you are a child and don't have a significant parent get a hobby. That will give you a purpose.


BTW Coolydudey, you could work on your Fe but I'm no role model. If you can improve, I will model myself after you.

*Just this morning the repairman came over. He said the dishwasher got soaked ruining the motor trying to wash it I suppose. Now my wife wants a new one. So now my need for a Christmas present for her is solved. I need some ideas on how to make it look romantic though.

 

[Coolydudey]

My Fe is very unusually developed. Painful (albeit good) childhood, much internalization of emotions, kept well hidden from others barring mainly angry moments. It's starting to express itself more recently, especially with my compositions.

In fact, I have so much anger, frustration and sadness pent up inside of me, it's scary. Sometimes I cry without knowing why. Sometimes I consciously stop myself from causing harm to me or my surroundings. I often find happiness and grandeur in music though. I don't even know why I'm writing this, but I'll leave it as it is.

 

[BigApplePi]

Cooly you wrote it to share. I've experienced those things, believe it or not and usually keep my feelings to myself. But that's okay. Share what you wish and don't share what you don't. I wish you well with the new girl. Bring us news if the notion takes you. I'll bet many here will provide feedback.

 

[Coolydudey]

Cooly you wrote it to share. I've experienced those things, believe it or not and usually keep my feelings to myself. But that's okay. Share what you wish and don't share what you don't. I wish you well with the new girl. Bring us news if the notion takes you. I'll bet many here will provide feedback.

Not really. Anyway, back on topic guys!

 

[rjioej23]

Relationships make you less self-centred and introspective I guess. You stop thinking as much about what makes you happy, what you want to do, what your desires are and start putting yourself in the position of another person. You start thinking, 'what does [insert name] want to do? How is she/he feeling?' This explains why you have started looking after your appearance and personal space more i.e. you care what the other person thinks.

Also, your girlfriend sounds like she important to you not in a physical way (you say you haven't done much) but in a psychological way (she gives 'meaning' to your daily life). When your relationship develops and probably gets more physical, I guess things will change. It sounds like she's really changed your outlook on life and changed you as a person in such a short amount of time so she must be special to you. Whatever the case, I hope it goes well.

What gives me meaning? Helping my family and friends and being around people who care about me and vice versa. I think i'm on 'autopilot' a lot of the time so I understanc your feeling. Despite this, making other people happy and helping others allows me to stop this 'autopilot' mode and gives meaning.

 

[DelusiveNinja]

I guess you can say that the reason I do things is to fulfill my very vague objective. To me it's as if I am taking shots in the dark and every shot fired leads me to either turn around or take a step forward toward something. Unfortunately, the flash caused by firing the gun only last a few milliseconds, so I can't vividly describe what the something that I am chasing is. All I can do is assure you (and my family) that I will accomplish something eventually and I'll enjoy whatever it is.

It feels like I'm in autopilot mode everyday. I get my work done and take the necessary steps toward my goal, ignoring anything (especially people) that I don't think will help me realize or complete my objective. I am on a gradually accelerating train that one day will crash into a dead end while going full speed.

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

For me, when I get excited about someone with potential, I find admirable aspects about them and when they express something they admire in me, I start to fall in love with my reflection. This radiates back on them and the cycle continues. The possibilities for something real are at the forefront and I'm pulled by this force. To me there really isn't much 'real' in the world EXCEPT relationships. Work, hobbies, interests, accomplishments...I can see those things as a game that in the end have really very little lasting impact. When I'm dead and gone, they will quickly be forgotten. The people I've touched in a profound way and those who have touched me in like manor, will radiate to all I come across and will continue after death.

 

[PhoenixRising]

I see meaning as an inevitable result of the nature of the psyche - we apply meanings to things so that we can comprehend them. The mind operates from a constructed proxy of reality that is composed of the meanings we associate with a person/place/thing/etc.

There is no intrinsic meaning to anything, since it only exists as a mental construct projected onto the real world. Therefore, thinking of anything in terms of its "meaning" seems erroneous to me. I think it would be more aligned with reality to think of things in terms of the causal operation of systems - how something works and what the overall result is rather than what it means.

We operate as the systems we are, playing out our algorithms and evolving to adapt to the changing parameters of environment. If I have a meaning, it is to exist as the creature I am. I have found that just by virtue of my intrinsic self, I do have desires and engage in pursuits. Therefore, in reverence of alignment to my true self, I let the causality of my character guide me.

 

[rjioej23]

Taking a step back to analyse Cooley's original position and a theory. Since he's only reached 1st base with the girl (they've only kissed I assuem), the relationship is still new. This means that there is potentially a long way left in the relationship and the future. This anticipation and potential is what gives the meaning to his life as he is striving for something in the future that he hopes will be happy; he's trying to extend the present excitement/joy.