Majorly lost regarding future. Help.

[Scarlett Hayden]

I am really stuck right now and would appreciate some help. I'm nineteen this month, and I have to start applying to university by September. Truth is though I have no idea what I want to do, I love everything, and yet, everything seems boring. I wrote a post about six months ago regarding this, but truth is I still haven't figured it out. For the most part I've been ignoring the question my whole life, and now that I have to make a decision in the next month or so I feel like a huge weight has been put on my shoulders, and it's making me really depressed.

Truth is I don't feel like I should be going to university, but hey, what else can I do? I can't stay at home, and I sure as eggs don't wanna have a droll life with a mundane job. I feel like since the age of twelve all I've ever done is be pressured to choose what I want to do in life. And I still have no idea. All I know is that I'm happy at home. I am an extremely avoidant person, being homeschooled, I haven't really been out since last December, except for Dentist appointments and stuff. I've just sort of locked myself in my room hoping the question will go away and now I finally have to choose it's too much and it makes me want to run away and become a homeless person, not having to worry about money and social security, excetera.

To top it all off, the thing I worry about the most is that I'll fail, and disappoint not only everyone else, but myself. I haven't been in the state system for many years (UK), leaving when I was thirteen. I have no idea what to expect, and to be honest my motivation to carry out anything long term is virtually zero. Everything seems like it'll be overly difficult and pointless. I have no idea where my life is going and my parents want answers. I placate them, practically lying to them saying I'm going to do physics at Durham or somewhere, but truth is I really don't know. I tried talking to them about this a year or so ago but it never really solved anything, I almost ended up on the streets; I'm hesitant to talk to them about it again. I have no one else to turn to and really I'm probably overly worrying about it but it's a big deal to me.

I'm asking for some serious advice because I'm seriously lost. Maybe even just a list of courses I most likely won't regret? I don't know. Someone please help.

 

[Architect]

• Definately go to the University. It's tempting, but a bad idea for the INTP to overly cloister themself
• Don't over think or analyze the major. Just pick one that you enjoy - out of the many things you enjoy - that is somewhat useful or practical. Such as engineering/software, finance/economics, hard science, or anything with an analysis bent.
• Don't think about your future life, just think about the next four years, and do it.

 

[Words]

Why don't you list down your hobbies?

 

[Coolydudey]

The situations is dire (at least in your opinion), and since you really do want to go to university (you admitted to it), but can't find the strength to decide what course, take the following advice: do the subject you enjoy the most, as it also becomes much more interesting at uni. Even philosophy (philosophy has 6-10% unemployment in the UK, lower than quite a few other degrees, and dropping further) will do, but make sure you enjoy it, since what you enjoy the most will be what you do the best in. Otherwise your time may end up wasted.

 

[NinjaSurfer]

find a sugar daddy

 

[Absurdity]

I've been in a pretty similar situation for a while now, first regarding which major to choose and now which career to pursue after I graduate. Some of the advice I give you might be also be an attempt to convince myself.

The situation is (to pull some statistics out of my ass) nine-tenths emotional anxiety and one-tenth actual dilemma. Figuring out what you are good at really isn't that hard because, if you are like me, people have been telling you your whole life (in my case, writing, in yours, the sciences). You're afraid to make a wrong decision though, afraid that perhaps you don't have enough information or that there is still a stone unturned. If you're like me though, there really isn't much missing from the equation. It seems characteristic of INTPs to amass biblical quantities of data in hopes that eventually they will be able to conclusively solve the problem. This is not a question of possessing enough data, though, because after a certain point each additional datum leaves you less and less certain.

The real question is a matter of soul searching, which people of our nature find daunting. Figure out what it is you are good at and enjoy doing, and then figure out what type of life you would like to lead. From there, it is just a matter of determining which course of study and career would allow you to utilize those particular skills and live that style of life.

I realized that I like researching, writing, studying, and having a lot of down time. I also realized my best bet of combining all of those into a career would be in academia, so that is the route I am taking.

Best of luck to you in making your decision.

 

[Vrecknidj]

Learn another language.
Study a musical instrument.
Study some other cultures' religions.
Take classes in literature.
Take a math class to keep your mind sharp.
Find a place to do volunteer work (it's not good for introverts to remain so introverted that they stop having skill in interacting with people, and if you're volunteering, then you're automatically assumed to be a good person, which is a nice mask against being introverted in societies that tend to see introverts are defective)

Do something.

 

[Scarlett Hayden]

find a sugar daddy

Umm... creepy much?

...if you are like me, people have been telling you your whole life (in my case, writing, in yours, the sciences). You're afraid to make a wrong decision though, afraid that perhaps you don't have enough information or that there is still a stone unturned. If you're like me though, there really isn't much missing from the equation. It seems characteristic of INTPs to amass biblical quantities of data in hopes that eventually they will be able to conclusively solve the problem. This is not a question of possessing enough data, though, because after a certain point each additional datum leaves you less and less certain.

Exactly. Everyone tells me I should go into the sciences, that that's what I'm best at, and whilst I don't deny that I enjoy it, I'm not sure I enjoy it enough to make a career out of it. Also there's that thing that all us INTP's do, which is reject any idea which we feel is being forced upon us for favour of independence. With the sciences this is what it feels like. Everyone else will be happy if I take it, but I'm not sure I would.

...The real question is a matter of soul searching, which people of our nature find daunting. Figure out what it is you are good at and enjoy doing, and then figure out what type of life you would like to lead. From there, it is just a matter of determining which course of study and career would allow you to utilize those particular skills and live that style of life...

And that's the problem. I like most everything. I would study everything if I could... yet I know it's not exactly plausible. And the things I like the most seem to conflict with each other. I have quite high Fi, and have even been tested as INFP on occasions. I think this may be reflected in my love for the arts. Music, writing, design, languages, ect. Yet there's the part of me that loves stupidly difficult stuff such as physics, and chemistry, and computer science, and law. If I study one aspect for too long I get bored and switch allegiances. Even more confusing is that the step-dad I grew up with is a musician, yet my bio dad is a politician(many people say politics is in my blood). I grew up with both influences. Although both want me in the sciences...

And when you have a mum telling you're capable of doing whatever you put your mind to because I'm that kind of person. Nothing seems clear.

I've tried searching on the internet for majors that use both feeling and thinking aspects of my personality but no luck. Perhaps only philosophy?, yet it's a pretty poor lifestyle.

Does anyone have any suggestions into which incorporate both aspects?

(Note, I thought about applying to the SIS [mi6] as it seems really interesting to me, but I'm not old enough yet, being at least another 2 years off, so that's out. Plus because it's top secret the skills are non-transferable. :/)

 

[Sir Oslay]

I have had, and still have, the problem you are talking about. I literally have no idea what I want to do with my life. My problem is not so much that I can't choose -- science, in any form, is probably the right choice for me -- it's that I am incapable of committing. If at any point there is some difficulty or road block, I will immediately begin to doubt my decision. Then the Ti takes over and I spend a week doing nothing but analyzing how this new bit of evidence fits into my theory of "my life", and whether that theory needs changing -- which is often the case.