Looking for myself

[jphreud]

Default Searching for Myself
I am relatively new to personality typing, and became interested as I tried to understand the guy that I am seeing. I have bounced around to different types. And I think that one of the reasons is that I have had a hard time taking a good look at myself and understanding myself. It's a hard thing to get down to who I really am, as compared to what I project or think I should be. I'm trying to change that up and be much more honest with my true self. Below are some points about myself.

38 year old female; preschool teacher; college history instructor; Bible college instructor; and education conference presenter.

-By day I teach 4-year olds. I enjoy the work, and I am good at it. However, I would rather be researching and creating conference presentations or professional development sessions.
-My dream job would be to a full-time college professor of history, psychology, or early childhood.
-I love history! NOT dates or random facts, but rather the interconnectedness, the cause and effect relationships between events, and the interdisciplinary nature of it...such as the connectedness of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and the Universal Cultural Pattern as an explanation for the rise and development of civilization.
-I enjoy learning new things, concepts, theories, etc. I am always researching new ideas, methods, and strategies for teaching, but very often I have a hard time implementing the new things into my classroom. I would rather present the new research to other teachers for them to be able to utilize. Also, no matter what I am researching, I am seeking to fully understand the topic and how it relates to what I already know.
-I struggle with organization. I am very often forgetful and have issues with mundane, every day tasks. I hate tedious, detailed paperwork...it is mind-numbing to me.
-I find that I can be selfish at times even though I don't want to be. I want to show more concern for others, but it does not come naturally to me and is not my strong suit.
-I get uncomfortable with other's emotions, and I do not readily express my own. However, I am very easy-going and even tempered. It takes a lot for me to outwardly show strong negative emotions...and that usually only happens with my immediate family.
-I have a very small group of friends...really only two females I am really close to and constantly communicate with, and the INTJ that I am seeing. Others are in categories such as colleagues and acquaintances.
-I am a terrible procrastinator in most things. I enjoy thinking about projects and ideas, but have a very hard time actually getting started.
-To relax, I enjoy reading and researching new ideas and interesting topics. I enjoy watching movies as well. A quiet evening with my guy or one of my friends is relaxing as well.
-I am a quiet observer in most social situations where there is a large crowd, lots of people I don't know, or the conversation is not something I am interested in or relate to. I have been called quiet, conceited, aloof, unfriendly, absent-minded, forgetful, disorganized, etc. But I have also been called well-spoken, well-written, an excellent presenter, very intelligent, articulate, etc. I have a much easier time accepting the negative comments as apposed to the positive ones.
-When someone comes to me to vent about an issue or a problem, I tend to offer a way to address or fix the problem rather than just listen. I don't want to sit there and just be a sounding board. I don't like to listen to someone complain and then not accept advice or solutions. The quickest way to make me shut down is to reject or dismiss my ideas and suggestions.

 

[Sinny91]

Welcome.

 

[Creeping Death]

A mirror is a great place to look

 

[317]

And I think that one of the reasons is that I have had a hard time taking a good look at myself and understanding myself.

Right on, I think the most successful relationships are those in which the involved parties have a good relationship with themselves first. And to have a good relationship with yourself it all starts with getting to know yourself.

It's a hard thing to get down to who I really am, as compared to what I project or think I should be.

I think to anyone else you are what you do, what do you want for them to think about you? Act in order to achieve it. As for your inner self seek what floats your boat, it's not like anyone is looking lol

I'm trying to change that up and be much more honest with my true self.

Again nobody is looking, give it dirty to yourself, gentle, but dirty haha

38 year old female; preschool teacher; college history instructor; Bible college instructor; and education conference presenter.

Apart from the bible stuff you seem to be lovely

-By day I teach 4-year olds. I enjoy the work, and I am good at it. However, I would rather be researching and creating conference presentations or professional development sessions.

What stops you from going after what you want?

-My dream job would be to a full-time college professor of history, psychology, or early childhood.

Cool job

-I love history! NOT dates or random facts, but rather the interconnectedness, the cause and effect relationships between events, and the interdisciplinary nature of it...such as the connectedness of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and the Universal Cultural Pattern as an explanation for the rise and development of civilization.

I also find people and societies to be interesting systems, how INTP is that? lol

-I enjoy learning new things, concepts, theories, etc. I am always researching new ideas, methods, and strategies for teaching, but very often I have a hard time implementing the new things into my classroom. I would rather present the new research to other teachers for them to be able to utilize. Also, no matter what I am researching, I am seeking to fully understand the topic and how it relates to what I already know.

There really is a charm on being on the back end, right?

-I struggle with organization. I am very often forgetful and have issues with mundane, every day tasks. I hate tedious, detailed paperwork...it is mind-numbing to me.

Let the INTJs handle them haha

-I find that I can be selfish at times even though I don't want to be. I want to show more concern for others, but it does not come naturally to me and is not my strong suit.

I've realized it's not personal on my part, it's just that on the ocean of thoughts you'd better be a big ship.

-I get uncomfortable with other's emotions, and I do not readily express my own. However, I am very easy-going and even tempered. It takes a lot for me to outwardly show strong negative emotions...and that usually only happens with my immediate family.

I am also like that, tho' I've been noticing it is not a really hard thing to change, emotions can be quite controllable, to the point of becoming automatic.

-I have a very small group of friends...really only two females I am really close to and constantly communicate with, and the INTJ that I am seeing. Others are in categories such as colleagues and acquaintances.

Do you have only a few friends because you don't forget theirs "doings" easily? That's my main issue with deep bonding. Add laziness to that and wow.

-I am a terrible procrastinator in most things. I enjoy thinking about projects and ideas, but have a very hard time actually getting started.

I've recently found two things that make me move, people and drugs (Ritalin and so on). If there is someone involved on the project and I love this person I'll do it.

-To relax, I enjoy reading and researching new ideas and interesting topics. I enjoy watching movies as well. A quiet evening with my guy or one of my friends is relaxing as well.

Mind feeding... ohhh

-I am a quiet observer in most social situations where there is a large crowd, lots of people I don't know, or the conversation is not something I am interested in or relate to. I have been called quiet, conceited, aloof, unfriendly, absent-minded, forgetful, disorganized, etc. But I have also been called well-spoken, well-written, an excellent presenter, very intelligent, articulate, etc. I have a much easier time accepting the negative comments as apposed to the positive ones.

INTPs are so open, always taking things into account, we will always have two versions of ourselves (or anything for that matter) one which is good/true and the other bad/false.

-When someone comes to me to vent about an issue or a problem, I tend to offer a way to address or fix the problem rather than just listen. I don't want to sit there and just be a sounding board. I don't like to listen to someone complain and then not accept advice or solutions. The quickest way to make me shut down is to reject or dismiss my ideas and suggestions.

You may also enjoy processing the individual's actions and circumstances while his nagging. lol Slightly turn your head presenting one of your ears, feel the mood thought some key words that carry emotions and show an appropriate face here and there. Make it look like you care and understand the person's situation.

They'll be happy they got what they want, you'll practice your emotional skills as well as social. We are logic machines, why shouldn't we use our logics to make those around us feel good?

Nice to meet you jphreud!

 

[PmjPmj]

None of what you said there would preclude INTJ as an option, in my mind. Of course, it's nigh on impossible to type a stranger via an internet forum.

In my experience, the most immediately noticeable difference between INTP and INTJ is what's going on in their inner world. INTJs (speaking from personal experience here, too) tend to have a 'Zen-like' quality about them. I do my best thinking when I'm not thinking, if you get me. I'm oft stuck in observation mode, quietly contemplating something, or perhaps nothing at all.

INTPs on the other hand tend to have brains which never quit. They're constantly analysing, seeking out new information on whatever subject most recently grabbed their attention.

The INTPs I know tend to have trouble drifting off to sleep at night on a regular basis, simply because their brains won't STFU. INTJs on the other hand sleep like babies. I (and other INTJs I know) can quieten their mind at the drop of a hat.

I mean, there's *a lot* more to it, of course - but that's a start.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Rixus]

I don’t know INTJ’s well enough to know what goes in upstairs. But I know how my brains works. Some people describe their brains as a web browser with multiple tabs open, but mine is more like a Windows desktop.

We’re running an up to date Core i5, that someone decided to overclock so we get a lot of cooling issues. A good 32gb of DDR4 is installed, so we have no trouble running bucket loads of applications simultaneously. And the introverted senses are like having a GTX-Titan stuck in your head.
When system is running, we’d have Word open writing something. Probably fictional.
Auto-cad will be running designing something; and sometimes runs simulations with these designs.
Excel is open and running a multi-tab spreadsheet which we add and amend calculators to and tables of information that most people just don’t get and we have quite a few broken references that really need fixing if we can find them in all the entries.
We’ll have file explorer open sorting through old files – and accidentally click on them sometimes when trying to sort through. We review old files often and but don’t always save those reviews. Plus re-running of old memory footage whilst using that high-powered graphics card to simulate alternative actions and outcomes.
I’ll have some kind of calendar open but I can’t figure out how to work it very well so I get the times wrong and don’t always save meetings.
A web browser will be open that I’ll flick to when I’m bored. Always looking to download new stuff and it’s led to very messy desktop and I frequently look around it thinking, “why in the world did I download that?” I’ll also have a social media app open rather like androids chat heads. If you’re profile has a tab that is always open – you are very special. There’ll only be a few of those open. Those tabs that are open often have simulated conversations running.
Media player is always on, but it’s stuck on random selection from the entire library. It gets stuck on some songs and skips tracks when you’re listening to them.
We also have Java for when there just isn't anything installed for a specific task. Don't always wanna download something because the ready made system doesn't also work, so I'll quickly write something that does a better job of it. I can't share the program with anyone else or really explain how it works, but you can see the results and my purpose made apps are usually really good.
I say Windows, because the bloody software is so temperamental. Connection issues with other computers are a problem. Keeps saying, “no connection available.” I think we have a problem with Spyware as we do get a ridiculous amount of pop ups, especially when system idle. The trouble is that most tasks only take a small CPU load to complete, so the rest of your computational power just kind of randomly runs whatever it feels like. We occasionally get some task that take up full CPU load and these cause the other apps to be shut down – but these task are rare.
Oh, and I'm always forgetting to save things I've been working on so I could be working on something for hours and then lose the whole thing.