Life as an INTP

[CoryJames]

Do you ever wish you weren't an INTP?

The way I am and the way my mind works has gotten me a lot in life. Good (well decent, you know how the whole absent minded thing goes) grades, great test scores (2300 SAT), a great college acceptance.

At the same time, I have suffered a lot from it. I got kicked out of my first private school due to my anger management issues. I have been suspended from my current school so many times for impulsive actions taken in anger that they are mandating me to see a psychiatrist who discovered that these problems stem from deep set depression an insecurity coming from my inability to form friendships at a young age (still have that problem) and inability to maintain healthy relationships.

I fear that I will look back and regret most of these past 19 years of life. Not many people understand my situation because from an outside perspective I am very privileged and gifted and SHOULD be happy. School is easy for me, I am fairly attractive (I model for A&F), and I am gifted athletically (football and lacrosse captain).

I only recently discovered my status as an INTP but the descriptions fit so well that it is an irrefutably accurate label. I now understand that my inability to form good relationships and manage emotions well comes from my higher than normal intellect and my customary shrugging off of emotion as irrational, respectively.

How do the rest of you feel about this? Similar experiences? Anything you wish to share that might make me feel better about these things?

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

Pretty boy thinks he is bad ass for being expelled from a private school. lol

So you have turned out a little less fucked up than most people? Congratulations are in order. The universal randomness constant at work.

Tell me, do you enjoy it when the blood squirts out on the receiving end of your fist?

I'm just messing with you. All in good faith.

I see the similarities between you and I, apart from the whole private school thing. We maybe from different socioeconomic classes. With that in mind there is more a prevalence of early childhood education of the upper classes due to expectations and resource availability.

My adolescence revolved around having a bit of fun rather than education. This changed in the final two years of high school when I moved schools (for various reasons, lol). A high achiever and a person deluded by background insulted me for being unintelligent. Subsequently that insult lead me to get the 10th highest grades in the state. I must say it was fairly easy.

I thought I was gifted until I went to university and there was a 14 year old in my degree achieving the same grades as I. In reality I was just indulging in grandiose fantasy.

I have an upsetting inability to form decent relationships. People are just too damn boring.

Actually, I am surrounded by people I can't related to (they are boring or other reasons). However, that does not mean I have never related or never had good relationships with people. I made many good friends in the past. Times change and I had to move on.

This is remedied by taking on too many degrees than I can possibly handle and in general learning as much as I possibly can. Just trying to ward off boredom and subsequently having to live with myself.

However, I have realized something many many years ago; being intelligent is nothing special. Just as being physically attractive and fit. Stealing a quote from a movie 'we are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world'.

Your inabilities in the emotional sphere do not stem from your "high intelligence". In all circumstances they stem from your insecurities about yourself. What are you insecure about?

 

[CoryJames]

Nah it is actually one of my biggest regrets.

 

[prd]

Well I'm IxTP and I've been sort of a recluse for most adolescence and early twenties.
Call it unwillingness and/or inability to form/maintain relationships, extreme lazyness, or lack of interest in people. And naturally I haven't learned much of social etiquette, which only makes things worse.
I really went years without seeing anyone outside school/uni.
I wasn't even good at school.
I'm still quite a loner now but at least I've got a normal job, a couple friends to hang out once in a while, and made some exp with women.
Apart from the -extremely lacking- social areas, my mind and curiosity are the best and I wouldn't exchange them for anything. I like sciences, humanities, tech, politics, anything intellectual in nature, my interests are an ever changing flow and I'm always hungry for more. Clearly the internet was created by and for those like me.
So yeah being "us" sucks... but it has its strong points too.

 

[CoryJames]

My problem is not that I lack attention from people, or that people don't want to be friendly to me. I have had plenty of attention from women too, and I currently have a girlfriend. The issue for me is that I can't CONNECT with the people/person, usually because they are interested in things that seem petty or trivial to me. It is especially difficult because a lot of the time I feel that they miss things that are completely obvious to me; puns, ironies, the humour in a pattern of events.

Also, and this is where the insecurity comes in, I never really know what is a proper "next-step" in a relationship. I unnecessarily overthink how people will perceive my actions because, (freud's idea of projection), I think things through that much.

 

[Cavallier]

The issue for me is that I can't CONNECT with the people/person, usually because they are interested in things that seem petty or trivial to me. It is especially difficult because a lot of the time I feel that they miss things that are completely obvious to me; puns, ironies, the humour in a pattern of events.

Sometimes I will make a joke only to get blank looks from everybody around me. The things we find funny often isn't mainstream. Most people just don't get my Hamlet references. I generally don't point out the things my mind pops up. If somebody questions why I'm smiling to myself I just say I was thinking about something and change the subject. Although, explaining my humor to people can act like a diving rod. Those who share my humor are probably going to be fun to hang out with.

When I met my best friend it was when she introduced herself to me in my dorm room. I remember her staring at the odd placement and choice of my posters. There had been a huge poster sale on campus recently and I had bought a bunch of posters of LOTR movie shots in which all the various characters were glaring out of their backgrounds in aggressive battle stances. I had set them all up so that they were glaring at my roommates bed. I told my soon to be best friend that I'd done it as a silent threat to my roommate whom I hated with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. She laughed and it was the beginning of a wonderful friendship.

Also, and this is where the insecurity comes in, I never really know what is a proper "next-step" in a relationship. I unnecessarily overthink how people will perceive my actions because, (freud's idea of projection), I think things through that much.

Do you mean romantically or just in friendships? I don't agonize over it. If it's meant to be it won't be to hard or at least it'll seem worth it if it does get hard. Otherwise it's not meant to be. Roll with it.

 

[prd]

The issue for me is that I can't CONNECT with the people/person, usually because they are interested in things that seem petty or trivial to me. It is especially difficult because a lot of the time I feel that they miss things that are completely obvious to me; puns, ironies, the humour in a pattern of events.

Looks like one of the 2 reasons why I became a loner in the first place.
Boredom(with people), and shyness.
The latter has been easier to combat. I don't know what to do about the former.
Boredom surfaces with people I trust and like, too. It's inevitable.

 

[CoryJames]

No not romantically, mostly just in friendships. I have a lot of "friends", kids who recognize me or want my approval for the wrong reasons, (like I said I appear to most as someone to be envied), but it is very superficial. I just never feel comfortable with moving into a close friendship with someone. I just get a terribly awkward feeling when I am in social situations that I can't just blend into the background of, which I play off with overconfidence.

I was blessed with good looks, so my romance life has been plentiful, but superficial. At the moment I have a very supportive girlfriend who I have divulged my issues to and she is helping me overcome them.

 

[Vrecknidj]

At the same time, I have suffered a lot from it. I got kicked out of my first private school due to my anger management issues. I have been suspended from my current school so many times for impulsive actions taken in anger that they are mandating me to see a psychiatrist who discovered that these problems stem from deep set depression an insecurity coming from my inability to form friendships at a young age (still have that problem) and inability to maintain healthy relationships.

Sounds to me like perhaps you have something at which to direct your intellect. After all, how much better might your life be if you solved these problems rather than suffer from being manipulated by them?

How do the rest of you feel about this? Similar experiences? Anything you wish to share that might make me feel better about these things?

Life has taught me many things, not the least of which is that I always end up being surprised.

Dave

 

[CoryJames]

Trust me I have tried to fix them, but as an INTP the only real time I am upset is when I don't fully understand something but have to deal with it anyways. For all of my intellect I have as yet been unable to understand why I am the way that I am, and that makes it a hard problem to "solve"

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

Shit happens, maybe?

 

[CoryJames]

Shit definitely happens. Oh and in response to your earlier post, no, I doubt we are in different socioeconomic classes if you were inferring I am richer than you. I am not very well off at all, I receive a shitload of financial aid. The only reason I went to private school was because I excelled to the extent that my public school could have taught me literally nothing.

 

[ProxyAmenRa]

Please forgive my prejudices.

 

[CoryJames]

There is nothing to forgive good sir. You should know this as a fellow INTP. I was not emotionally distraught over the accusations of hoarded wealth, only unable to allow a misconception.

 

[Words]

If you want to be more human, then I suggest start by replacing that avatar.

You must let go of something before you can obtain anything. Lessening your strengths on one can strengthen you overall.

I doubt it's the people who should adapt to you. I always find something interesting within everyone.

 

[ashitaria]

Sounds to me here that there is a lot of self-praise along with the facade of modesty.

I really don't want to name names, but seriously? This thread is just like an excuse for self-praise.

I'm sorry, but:

/fail thread.

Everything else is self-explanatory.

And I know, just know, that this will spark off another debate.

 

[CoryJames]

I'm not going to debate an INTP on his or her beliefs. That would just be stupid. If you can read that and honestly feel like I am praising myself then I will just take your opinion and consider it.

As to the avatar it was a bit of a joke, I found it a while ago, before I realized I was INTP. And as to people needing to adapt to me, I never stated the belief that I thought they should. I am actively working to change the one sidedness of my relationships so they can be a more give and take emotional exchange, not a take and analyze one.

 

[ashitaria]

Your response is not as I expected, but good. It just means that my opinion wasn't entirely correct. You see, many a time with paragraphs like yours, I usually see some kind of arrogance behind it.

I'm proven wrong. Perhaps you aren't the arrogant, grandiose individual that I thought you were. So forgive me.

And I also express my doubt at you being an INTP. I wonder, is anger and tempers common for INTPs? Adymus?

 

[Words]

CJ. I don't see the problem. You say people are boring, I say you are looking at the wrong things. Connection is made when you are yourself, not by a fake persona.

Ashitaria. Inferior Fe does that, I believe. Lack of emotion control.

 

[ashitaria]

CJ. I don't see the problem. You say people are boring, I say you are looking at the wrong things. Connection is made when you are yourself, not by a fake persona.

Ashitaria. Inferior Fe does that, I believe. Lack of emotion control.

I thought it was the other way round? Usually, an inferior Fe and dominant TI combination means a lack of emotion (or at least a suppression of emotion) and that emotion is only showed under high emotion or stress. I didn't read about any big event that the OP specified which lead to anger management (and usually it is those Fe dominant people who get into such things). If I must say so, he either made it up (thus my suspicion that he was making a thread just for self-praise) or he does not wish to reveal the cause of such an extreme emotional problem.

Either way, I wish to leave the benefit of the doubt.

 

[CoryJames]

From what I have researched on the topic, INTPs are not simply cold and emotionless constantly. They simply prefer that standpoint for what they enjoy and are good at, which is logical thinking, reasoning, and accurate analyzing of information.

My anger and temper are by no means my defining characteristic, but when is someone labeled or defined by what they really are inside. This is rare, is it not? They are defined rather by their loudest and most reprecussionial characteristics. Mine have been my angry outbursts.

From what I have read on the subject, INTPs can be overcome with emotion at certain times, and due to their inexperience with it, often mishandle it and let it take control because they are not skilled at reigning it in. Couple that with my predisposition to depression, and one has a volatile mix, does he not?

Also, I have taken several online tests, and they have all come back with the same result, apart from one where I was judged as an INTJ, but that was a tiny outlier.

 

[ashitaria]

From what I have researched on the topic, INTPs are not simply cold and emotionless constantly. They simply prefer that standpoint for what they enjoy and are good at, which is logical thinking, reasoning, and accurate analyzing of information.

My anger and temper are by no means my defining characteristic, but when is someone labeled or defined by what they really are inside. This is rare, is it not? They are defined rather by their loudest and most reprecussionial characteristics. Mine have been my angry outbursts.

From what I have read on the subject, INTPs can be overcome with emotion at certain times, and due to their inexperience with it, often mishandle it and let it take control because they are not skilled at reigning it in. Couple that with my predisposition to depression, and one has a volatile mix, does he not?

Also, I have taken several online tests, and they have all come back with the same result, apart from one where I was judged as an INTJ, but that was a tiny outlier.

Yes you are correct, INTPs can be emotional. But I really truly doubt that an INTP can go into anger management. A fight maybe, a shouting match, maybe. But anger management? How many times do you lose your temper? Weekly? Monthly?

Did you go into anger-management because of a single fight or because of several fights? Did you go into anger-management because of a misunderstanding? Because in where I live, anger-management is reserved for those who get into at least three fights, and that is the minimal requirement.

INTPs can lose their temper. But if so, very rarely, not if we can help it.

If you are logical, all the more I doubt that one could get into anger-management. Either that, or you were misunderstood. I'm also considering that where you live, the moment you get into a fight, you get sent to anger management.

But you see, I have credible reasons for my doubt, and my suspicion.

EDIT: Also, the MBTI test can be inaccurate. I recommend that you check out Jungian's cognitive functions before really coming in to the conclusion that you are an INTP. Also, I hope that I am not causing any particular stress on you, but like most INTPs, I am curious, and I like answers.

 

[Words]

Either way, I wish to leave the benefit of the doubt.

Which is interesting but, if it truly is, how does it change anything? If one is really so ridiculous, then let hir. "Hope" comes into play but writing posts aren't all about productivity or practicality, it could be about exercise. (which includes your own analyzation of him possibly being what you are thinking.)

If he was babbling nonsense, then let him.

Either way, it is good to be able to speak. Truth, to me, is always attached as an accessory.

His type could be arguable but is this your main motive?

 

[CoryJames]

I haven't been in a fist-fight since two summers ago. I got asked to leave my first school because I was on probation for using a teachers password to access my grades on the school network (not to change them, just to see because I was CURIOUS and I wanted answers and my advisor blew me off). I got the password thirdhand and was one of 33 kids who used it, 12 of whom got DCed for it (disciplinary committee) because they were the ones who turned themselves in like the deans asked, although the IT guys had a list of the IPs who had accessed it. In a school announcement the headmaster stated that the kids who didn't turn themselves in would have to "live with their guilt forever for not being honest". Haha.

While on this probation I had sex with my hockey coaches 13 year old daughter (I was 15) in his office on his desk. I did this because I was frustrated at being treated unfairly two seasons in a row, not being played as much as I should have at my skill level because I told him I was at school for school, not to play college hockey. His daughter had wanted me for a while, so finally I said fuck it and did it because I didn't respect him and didn't care what he thought. He threatened to resign if I wasn't expelled, and because I was on probation, the school had a reasonable excuse to throw me out, saying I did it maliciously, although I had broken no school rules and several teachers and alumni wrote letters opposing the decision. Also, my football captain was on the DC committee and told me that after my trial they decided I wasn't in the wrong.

At my new school I have been suspended for a variety of things, using chewing tobacco, lying to a teacher to not rat out someone, etc etc. My final suspension was because I posted a derrogatory comment about a girl on facebook, calling her a shwank for sneaking out of school to dome off some kids from another school nearby. She saw it, printed it out and sent it to the assistant headmaster because she wanted me to get in trouble.

 

[ashitaria]

Which is interesting but, if it truly is, how does it change anything? If one is really so ridiculous, then let hir. "Hope" comes into play but writing posts aren't all about productivity or practicality, it could be about exercise. (which includes your own analyzation of him possibly being what you are thinking.)

If he was babbling nonsense, then let him.

Either way, it is good to be able to speak. Truth, to me, is always attached as an accessory.

His type could be arguable but is this your main motive?

No, my main motive is simply curiosity, and suspicion. I have really nothing against such behavior, but sometimes, I need my opinions to be known. Isn't that, however, being an INTP?

 

[CoryJames]

No, my main motive is simply curiosity, and suspicion. I have really nothing against such behavior, but sometimes, I need my opinions to be known. Isn't that, however, being an INTP?

It is, just as is asking questions, even if they concern myself not others. This is perhaps more of an INTP behavior since the first initial of our acronym is I. Introspective.

If I was not an INTP would I go to such lengths to find answers?

 

[ashitaria]

I haven't been in a fist-fight since two summers ago. I got asked to leave my first school because I was on probation for using a teachers password to access my grades on the school network (not to change them, just to see because I was CURIOUS and I wanted answers and my advisor blew me off). I got the password thirdhand and was one of 33 kids who used it, 12 of whom got DCed for it (disciplinary committee) because they were the ones who turned themselves in like the deans asked, although the IT guys had a list of the IPs who had accessed it. In a school announcement the headmaster stated that the kids who didn't turn themselves in would have to "live with their guilt forever for not being honest". Haha.

While on this probation I had sex with my hockey coaches 13 year old daughter (I was 15) in his office on his desk. I did this because I was frustrated at being treated unfairly two seasons in a row, not being played as much as I should have at my skill level because I told him I was at school for school, not to play college hockey. His daughter had wanted me for a while, so finally I said fuck it and did it because I didn't respect him and didn't care what he thought. He threatened to resign if I wasn't expelled, and because I was on probation, the school had a reasonable excuse to throw me out, saying I did it maliciously, although I had broken no school rules and several teachers and alumni wrote letters opposing the decision. Also, my football captain was on the DC committee and told me that after my trial they decided I wasn't in the wrong.

At my new school I have been suspended for a variety of things, using chewing tobacco, lying to a teacher to not rat out someone, etc etc. My final suspension was because I posted a derrogatory comment about a girl on facebook, calling her a shwank for sneaking out of school to dome off some kids from another school nearby. She saw it, printed it out and sent it to the assistant headmaster because she wanted me to get in trouble.

And how old are you? Just kidding. Welcome to the INTP family, though I must say that I am still curious.

Two summers ago, for what reason did you get into a fist fight? Was it out of self-defense or out of anger?

(From now on out, I will be holding my doubts and questions in restraint.)

EDIT: Ah, 18. I see.

 

[ashitaria]

It is, just as is asking questions, even if they concern myself not others. This is perhaps more of an INTP behavior since the first initial of our acronym is I. Introspective.

If I was not an INTP would I go to such lengths to find answers?

Perhaps, perhaps not. But if you have checked out the "You know I'm an INTP" thread, INTPs are wikipedia addicts. You should figure out what I mean by that.

 

[Words]

...and your avatar is actually very persuading.

Forgive me, perhaps I requested that. Still, "excessive" in excessive lonesome is determined by the person experiencing it.

 

[ashitaria]

Heh, well, I have a Japanese test to study for but ta-ta.

 

[CoryJames]

...and your avatar is actually very persuading.

Forgive me, perhaps I requested that. Still, "excessive" in excessive lonesome is determined by the person experiencing it.

I don't understand what you mean?

 

[Words]

I mean, the value of communicating and/or connecting to people is subjective. I, for example, don't have that much of a "need". Albeit this could be irrelevant.

In other words, I have been a happy loner for a long time.


EDIT:

The avatar, well... cough it's very crowded in there cough..

 

[CoryJames]

I meant about the avatar?

 

[intuitivet]

I understand the whole anger thing. At age 14 I went through a year of aggressive depression (basically, instead of crying and being sad I felt insanely angry and frustrated, led to many a fight with family and others). I also think it had something to do with being unable (probably my own fault) to form successful friendships early on in life (my sister managed far better than me so I just went along with her friends).
Conclusion? Maybe that in early life INTPs have alot of confusion and regrets, later on we settle down (a bit...) and suddenly become very attractive to others (I now draw people to me, with my invisible hook >=D)
I don't really know why, but INTs seem to have a tendency of suffering from depression (I do but unsure what sort). Maybe we just overthink things?

 

[Ska]

I don't really know why, but INTs seem to have a tendency of suffering from depression (I do but unsure what sort). Maybe we just overthink things?

Ignorance is bliss.

 

[intuitivet]

Ignorance is bliss.

And yet none of us can accept it

 

[CoryJames]

Ignorance is bliss only when one is so ignorant that one is unaware that there is anything to be known.

Ignorance is far from blissful when one knows that they are ignorant to something.

 

[Ska]

Ignorance is bliss only when one is so ignorant that one is unaware that there is anything to be known.

Ignorance is far from blissful when one knows that they are ignorant to something.

If you're ignorant to something how can you know that you are ignorant to it?

I'd say your first sentence is the definition of ignorance, while your second one is an oxymoron. That's just my understanding of the word, though.

 

[CoryJames]

Are you saying that you've never been aware that there was something you didn't know or understand?

 

[Ska]

Are you saying that you've never been aware that there was something you didn't know or understand?

Hmmm...that's a good way to put it. Nevermind.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ignorance

 

[AlisaD]

I mean, the value of communicating and/or connecting to people is subjective. I, for example, don't have that much of a "need". Albeit this could be irrelevant.

In other words, I have been a happy loner for a long time.

Same here.


CJ - From what I could gather, your frustration is mostly caused by the fact that you can't really seem to connect to people. Newsflash: It's ok to suck at that. Most people around here suck at that.

It seems that you suffer from a severe case of acute brilliantness (oh dear lord, what an ugly word that is, but I had to use it, read the book called Doppler, written by a Norwegian guy whose name I've forgotten, if you want details on why) Anyway, it seems that you are dangerously addicted to being good at everything. That's a terrible way to go trough life. You really need to try and give yourself a bit less credit. The world is not going to end just because you are bad at something. And then if you're lucky, you'll get used to being terrible at relationships, and start sucking at something else as well. Like at school, at what ever amazing sport you are training, or your haircut will become just a little bit dorky.

And maybe one day you'll seem a bit more human and people will stop trying to leach on this perfect, he's so cool, flawless lifestyle model and try speaking to an actual person. People tend to be more interesting that way.

 

[tashi]

My problem is not that I lack attention from people, or that people don't want to be friendly to me. I have had plenty of attention from women too, and I currently have a girlfriend. The issue for me is that I can't CONNECT with the people/person, usually because they are interested in things that seem petty or trivial to me. It is especially difficult because a lot of the time I feel that they miss things that are completely obvious to me; puns, ironies, the humour in a pattern of events.

Also, and this is where the insecurity comes in, I never really know what is a proper "next-step" in a relationship. I unnecessarily overthink how people will perceive my actions because, (freud's idea of projection), I think things through that much.

Going to refrain from reading the rest of this thread, because I'm in a bit of a hurry at the moment. From what I've read though, I can most certainly relate. I am currently in ninth grade, and for those of you who can remember that far back(), it's not easy. This year has been especially difficult, for the majority of my classmates and I are experiencing a rather awkward transitional stage in our mental(and physical) development. For me, this has been a struggle between retaining my identity, and intergrating myself with other teens. When I was younger, it was not uncommon for me to idolize the ability to be well-liked and socially acceptable. Now that I have more or less outgrown my physical awkwardness, other teens have suddenly taken an interest me. Because I've had very little previous experience with other individuals of my age group, I am/was very unsure of how to react to this. At first I was pleased, but then after a very short period of time, I came to the realization that for the majority of these people, it wan not what I have to share on an intellectual level that had caught their attention. Their interests were/are much more of the physical variety. Any time that I open my mouth to talk about something outside of the range of what is considered to be normal teen chit-chat, I am greeted with looks of either suprise, or irritation. So few people share similiar interests, so I have very little means of communicating my thoughts, which was a completely devastating realization. I have such a massive ammount of energy (not physically) that I need some means of letting a little escape, or things get ugly. That was the original purpose of joining this forum. I thought it would be a good channel for this mental energy of mine, that is until I discovered that I am just as shy over the internet as I am in person. As with you, I always over-think any interactions with others, which complicates communication. It's so unbearably frustrating to know that people would like to be my friend, but that not only am I not capable of starting and maintaining relationships with them, but the majority of what I would have to offer as a friend or companion, they would have no interest in. I apoligise if this is just a big blob of nonsense, but I really am in a hurry. That's all I have for now. I would like to read the rest of this thread later though, and perhaps discuss it in more depth.

 

[ashitaria]

Going to refrain from reading the rest of this thread, because I'm in a bit of a hurry at the moment. From what I've read though, I can most certainly relate. I am currently in ninth grade, and for those of you who can remember that far back(), it's not easy. This year has been especially difficult, for the majority of my classmates and I are experiencing a rather awkward transitional stage in our mental(and physical) development. For me, this has been a struggle between retaining my identity, and intergrating myself with other teens. When I was younger, it was not uncommon for me to idolize the ability to be well-liked and socially acceptable. Now that I have more or less outgrown my physical awkwardness, other teens have suddenly taken an interest me. Because I've had very little previous experience with other individuals of my age group, I am/was very unsure of how to react to this. At first I was pleased, but then after a very short period of time, I came to the realization that for the majority of these people, it wan not what I have to share on an intellectual level that had caught their attention. Their interests were/are much more of the physical variety. Any time that I open my mouth to talk about something outside of the range of what is considered to be normal teen chit-chat, I am greeted with looks of either suprise, or irritation. So few people share similiar interests, so I have very little means of communicating my thoughts, which was a completely devastating realization. I have such a massive ammount of energy (not physically) that I need some means of letting a little escape, or things get ugly. That was the original purpose of joining this forum. I thought it would be a good channel for this mental energy of mine, that is until I discovered that I am just as shy over the internet as I am in person. As with you, I always over-think any interactions with others, which complicates communication. It's so unbearably frustrating to know that people would like to be my friend, but that not only am I not capable of starting and maintaining relationships with them, but the majority of what I would have to offer as a friend or companion, they would have no interest in. I apoligise if this is just a big blob of nonsense, but I really am in a hurry. That's all I have for now. I would like to read the rest of this thread later though, and perhaps discuss it in more depth.

I can't say I don't agree with you. What you said just now was basically a summary of my life story. Except for the "acute brilliant" part. -_-

EDIT: @CJ, I'm sorry for the suspicion and hostility in the beginning, it just seemed that your story (especially the part about being in anger management) was not convincing me of your INTPness, and along with the "I'm handsome, I'm smart, I'm good at sports" paragraphs and the not-so-faulty "I can't connect with people" story convinced me that you were trying to impress us with self-recognition (and it is from patterns that I see in other forums that such writers turn out to be arrogant) . I apologize. As for your story which answered my questions, I still have my own doubts about you, but I'd rather just leave it at that.
And is that picture real or just something you swooped off the internet?

 

[ashitaria]

Answers will be in bold.

Ignorance is bliss only when one is so ignorant that one is unaware that there is anything to be known.

In a subjective way, that is true, but the more ignorance you have, the less bad things you know, so technically, someone who is more ignorant than the other is more blessed...or something like that.

Ignorance is far from blissful when one knows that they are ignorant to something.

Technically, when you are aware that you are ignorant, that's not ignorance anymore. When I was nine, I suddenly knew that I was ignorant of Christianity's principles and moral ethics. From that point on (and it took me four long years, in others, very recently), I studied the Bible, found theories that scared me, found verses that repulsed me, and eventually, I left Christianity.

 

[tashi]

I can't say I don't agree with you. What you said just now was basically a summary of my life story. Except for the "acute brilliant" part. -_-

I'm confused. Was that directed at something I said? I don't recall saying "acute brilliant" anywhere in my post. I'm fairly certain that I'm missing something entirely in relation to your post, so if so, I'm sorry. Seeing as I am supposed to be getting ready right now, and am instead procrastinating, I'm certain it's just me being stupid. If that is the case, don't mind me.

 

[ashitaria]

I'm confused. Was that directed at something I said? I don't recall saying "acute brilliant" anywhere in my post. I'm fairly certain that I'm missing something entirely in relation to your post, so if so, I'm sorry. Seeing as I am supposed to be getting ready right now, and am instead procrastinating, I'm certain it's just me being stupid. If that is the case, don't mind me.

*looks up*. Oh, not you, the "acute brilliant" part was directed towards Alice, Proxy, and CJ. Heh, good luck. :P I always ended up procrastinating till and hour before the test so hurry up or you'll regret it. :P

 

[Beat Mango]

Going to refrain from reading the rest of this thread, because I'm in a bit of a hurry at the moment. From what I've read though, I can most certainly relate. I am currently in ninth grade, and for those of you who can remember that far back(), it's not easy. This year has been especially difficult, for the majority of my classmates and I are experiencing a rather awkward transitional stage in our mental(and physical) development. For me, this has been a struggle between retaining my identity, and intergrating myself with other teens. When I was younger, it was not uncommon for me to idolize the ability to be well-liked and socially acceptable. Now that I have more or less outgrown my physical awkwardness, other teens have suddenly taken an interest me. Because I've had very little previous experience with other individuals of my age group, I am/was very unsure of how to react to this. At first I was pleased, but then after a very short period of time, I came to the realization that for the majority of these people, it wan not what I have to share on an intellectual level that had caught their attention. Their interests were/are much more of the physical variety. Any time that I open my mouth to talk about something outside of the range of what is considered to be normal teen chit-chat, I am greeted with looks of either suprise, or irritation. So few people share similiar interests, so I have very little means of communicating my thoughts, which was a completely devastating realization. I have such a massive ammount of energy (not physically) that I need some means of letting a little escape, or things get ugly. That was the original purpose of joining this forum. I thought it would be a good channel for this mental energy of mine, that is until I discovered that I am just as shy over the internet as I am in person. As with you, I always over-think any interactions with others, which complicates communication. It's so unbearably frustrating to know that people would like to be my friend, but that not only am I not capable of starting and maintaining relationships with them, but the majority of what I would have to offer as a friend or companion, they would have no interest in. I apoligise if this is just a big blob of nonsense, but I really am in a hurry. That's all I have for now. I would like to read the rest of this thread later though, and perhaps discuss it in more depth.

In my opinion ninth grade is a real turning point. I can pretty safely say that the general gist of my self and my life has remained the same since 9th grade. I also heard this kind of vagabond looking guy on the bus say that year 9 was a real turning point for him (as in, that's when his life started to become what it was now), and since then I've looked around and it seems to be the same for a lot of people. The patterns that occurred when I was in the ninth grade are still occurring now at 26.

I don't feel that I have a great deal of trouble making friends, for me it's just like cj said, the problem is the trouble I have connecting with them. Honestly there are a lot of people out there who desperately or even just mildly want another friend, especially if you're not a complete loser, but I just feel impotent in my ability to provide what is necessary for that connection to take place. I feel bad saying this but eventually I just get bored of them, and no development of "social skills" can do anything to counter that.

The few people I do connect with, I find tiring. I was around people pretty much constantly on the weekend (it was a 3 day weekend), and last night I was just completely and utterly exhausted, physically, which surprised me because I had a pretty good time. Fucking over it. I always thought wisdom would be my ticket out but as you can see from the quote in my signature it's pretty obvious that it too is impotent.

 

[tashi]

*looks up*. Oh, not you, the "acute brilliant" part was directed towards Alice, Proxy, and CJ. Heh, good luck. :P I always ended up procrastinating till and hour before the test so hurry up or you'll regret it. :P

Opps, sorry. I was unsure of who that was directed to, because it was right under a quote of my post. Haha, I was a bit unsure .

Ohhhh yes. I am the ultimate procrastinater. Many an all nighter has been pulled the day before a major project or test. The fact that I now know how to get away with doesn't help either.

 

[CoryJames]

Haha. Again, you can have whatever doubts you would like about me. My story is entirely valid, and I am sure if I snoop around my house some this summer when I am home I can turn up those letters home from school, which if you really needed me to I could scan and send to you. And yes, that is an actual picture of me, if you do not want to believe even that search me on facebook. Cory James Christopher O'Brien, Hebron Academy (hence my nickname "Lumberjack". Its our school logo.

I am not so sure about the acute brilliance part. I have never found myself consciously needing to be good at something. I do, however, hate feeling perceived as weak or vulnerable, or not being recognized for what I am. (that is not meant to sound cocky, I just don't like people who steal credit for others work).


Here are some pictures as proof...(I don't like people not recognizing/denying that I am being honest...)

 

[Mello]

Quite the pimp, eh?