Lies your Brain & Body tells you...

[Inexorable Username]

What are some lies your brain and tells you?


------

Brain: We shouldn't have gone to the supermarket hungry.
Body: (i disagree. look at all the food. this is like a wet dream for a hungry body.)
Brain: Yeah, but you make bad choices when you're hungry.
Body: (no. like - look at this box of pop tarts. it's like a whole meal's worth of calories, squashed into the dimensions of a Kindle. so efficient.)
Brain: That's the problem. I'm looking for bulk, not efficiency.
Body: (what about taste though?)
Brain: Tastes like cardboard.
Body: (but the sugar content...)
Brain: Bad for your blood glucose levels....
Body: (nostalgia. being a kid.)
Brain: Stop.
Body: (watching cartoons. the smell of poptart sugar frying in the toaster..)
Brain: Fine. Which flavor.
Body: (all of them)
Brain: Deal.

Logical Brain: Alright. I accepted the bag of chips and the bagel bites. I even came to terms with the $30 of pop tarts....but where is the DAMN MILK! Milk was ALL we NEEDED! Seriously, brain?! SERIOUSLY?!

Brain: Calm down. Eat a pop tart. They're not bad cold.


----------

Body: (awake)
Brain: What?
Body: (we're awake now.)
Brain: urgnnn...
Body: (time to get up. I'm tired.)
Brain: Let's negotiate.
Body: (that sounds nice. 3 more hours of sleep would do it.)
Brain: We can't afford 3 hours.
Body: (45 minutes then.)
Brain: 5 minutes. It's like 45 minutes...but 5.
Body: (I don't think that will work.)
Brain: Trust me. It will. If it doesn't work the first time...It's gotta work by the 9th time.

Logical Brain: DAMMIT! LATE FOR WORK AGAIN! DAMN YOU BRAIN!

------

Brain: Just...one...more...UGHN! DONE!
Body: >>[[ WHAT IS THIS TORTURE?! ]]<<
Brain: This is called working out. I know you're not used to it.
Body: (Is this vengeance for last night?)
Brain: You mean the ice cream binge where we thought it would be a good idea to make the world's most satisfying banana boat? Yes. This is vengeance.
Body: (You are cruel. What did I ever do to you?)
Brain: Crave ice cream. Time for the leg press.
Body: (No, No! We Won't Go!)
Brain: You like the leg press. You're good at it.
Body: (Yeah but you have no idea the hoops I'm having to jump through. Hormones, blood flow management, muscles being reawakened after weeks of hibernation...)
Brain: That's probably a good th- AHH! NO! OWW! WTF IS THIS?!
Body: (That's called a cramp, sucka. Yes. Kneel. Kneel to the power of the body....I own you bit-)
Logical Brain: Is this drama really worth a gym membership?
Brain & Body: Yes. We pay for shame.

 

[Inexorable Username]

People think I must live a dreadfully boring, lonely life. It's not true. Between my brain and my body, it's like having two kids to look after.

 

[peoplesuck]

$30 of pop tarts....but where is the DAMN MILK!

Spoiler

$30 worth of pop tarts...

jokes aside
You cant live off of general chicken
I can though, see I work out and drink water.
No thats not how it w...
Im losing weight, see I lost 4 pounds.
ughh fine! fine, ok, sure do what ever. sure.

I want to watch coraline again
You have seen that movie six times, watch something new
reeeeeeeeeeeee
hey remember pan's labrinth, you liked that too
I do
yes you do
Ok


you cant lift weights you have a heart problem
But im going to die from boredom if I dont leave my house
find something healthy you can do that isnt dangerous.
ree.
no.
reee
no.
im going to the gym
mom would be sad...
im bored though
what even are your priorities in life, seriously im not sure

 

[Marbles]

People think I must live a dreadfully boring, lonely life. It's not true. Between my brain and my body, it's like having two kids to look after.

@Animekitty has a whole family inside of him. I've never gotten around to ask what that means, but... Your text was clarifying, Inex. I think I get it now.

Can you draw, Inex? These dialogues could probably be turned into some good cartoons. Does anyone else around here know how to draw?

 

[Inexorable Username]

People think I must live a dreadfully boring, lonely life. It's not true. Between my brain and my body, it's like having two kids to look after.

@Animekitty has a whole family inside of him. I've never gotten around to ask what that means, but... Your text was clarifying, Inex. I think I get it now.

Can you draw, Inex? These dialogues could probably be turned into some good cartoons. Does anyone else around here know how to draw?

I can draw
Drawing cartoons is time consuming though. If I were to do that...I’d focus around drawing my cats probably, because I intend to use them to build my social media campaign for my startup.

Although now you mention it...I do have a pretty good idea for how this could easily convert to a comic with very little art needed.

 

[Inexorable Username]

Here’s some of my artwork! These are just portfolio items. I don’t generally have artwork hanging around because I throw it out. Lol.

Sketch of a friend

Playing with Photoshop

This one I can’t take full credit for. This was my first digital painting, so I hired two professional digital painters to critique my work and demonstrate digital painting techniques for me when I got stuck and wasn’t able to produce the look I was going for. The cat’s name is Tugger, and he’s something of a hero. I did this painting for a non-profit organization. The cat is a reformed feral and survivor of multiple ear surgeries. He’s a self-assured Tom cat, and I wanted to capture his majestic personality.

Edit: In case it wasn’t clear - the messed up ears are due to the fact that real Tugger has messed up ears. They’re not an artistic failure on my part.

 

[Marbles]

These are really good! I especially like the compositions of the first and third picture. You've really captured the sense of lying right next to the cat. I like the idea of the girl still not being too old for her teddy on graduation day.

There are loads of good stickmen cartoons on youtube... Perhaps you don't have have to get all ambitious, the writing is the big thing in that kind of cartoons, I think.

 

[Inexorable Username]

These are really good! I especially like the compositions of the first and third picture. You've really captured the sense of lying right next to the cat. I like the idea of the girl still not being too old for her teddy on graduation day.

There are loads of good stickmen cartoons on youtube... Perhaps you don't have have to get all ambitious, the writing is the big thing in that kind of cartoons, I think.

Thanks!
You clearly haven’t seen my stick men. They have depth, facial expressions, and things like top hats and dynamic stances. I don’t think I’m physically capable of being a simple person. Adding complexity is like a compulsion for me. I like. To be. Precise.
@_@ (somebody save me from myself!)

BUT! Here’s a thought. What if the conversation was merely chat bubbles...and maybe, at most, a person’s head from the shoulders up. One type of chat bubble could be used for Brain, another type, for Body. Then I need only draw chat bubbles, make changes in facial expressions, and that would be that.

 

[CerebralCollapse]

I can't draw/paint to save my hide. That third picture is incredibly striking. Those azure blue eyes contrast so well with the ashy white
coat of the cat. The delicately placed pink tips on the ears and nose give it a tender yet grandeur sophistication. Beautiful.

 

[Marbles]

Thanks!
You clearly haven’t seen my stick men. They have depth, facial expressions, and things like top hats and dynamic stances. I don’t think I’m physically capable of being a simple person. Adding complexity is like a compulsion for me. I like. To be. Precise.
@_@ (somebody save me from myself!)

Sounds like awesome stick men! You should do them. (no jokes, guys) Stick men with top hats and dynamic stances are less ambitious than 3D men with top hats and dynamic stances, after all.

BUT! Here’s a thought. What if the conversation was merely chat bubbles...and maybe, at most, a person’s head from the shoulders up. One type of chat bubble could be used for Brain, another type, for Body. Then I need only draw chat bubbles, make changes in facial expressions, and that would be that.

I want to see facial expressions on stick men, thank you very much!

 

[Inexorable Username]

I can't draw/paint to save my hide. That third picture is incredibly striking. Those azure blue eyes contrast so well with the ashy white
coat of the cat. The delicately placed pink tips on the ears and nose give it a tender yet grandeur sophistication. Beautiful.

Aww...Thank you so much! I had to get a lot of help with the eyes. It's hard to get the shading for the lids and the eyeball right to express the right degree of roundness. It's really all in the shading - not the color itself.
Even if you're not a sketch artist, you could probably do digital painting in Photoshop. It's a lot different. A lot of digital painting comes down to color theory and understanding things like texture, depth, atmospheric perspective...Of course, you have to get the motor control down, but unlike with real painting, you have ample opportunities to screw up.
You also don't necessarily have to understand anatomy or how to actually draw these figures. With digital painting, you can paint over the top of a photograph. That's what was done in this case.
Honestly, I think one of the most important talents to have for digital painting is research ability. You really have to heavily research the subject matter, and look for fine details regarding things like toes, and the shape of the nose (which you appear to be quite good at!). You also need to watch other digital painters do similar things (at least in the beginning), and you need to research a variety of techniques and how to best do them (like how to paint fur). You also need to critically analyze the works of other artists to determine what is most important - because even if you're painting on top of a picture, you have to strategically decide what you're going to paint, and what you're not.
Sketching is all about including as much detail as possible, as realistically as possible (if you're sketching realism)....However, to paint realism, you need to intellectually decide how to include just enough detail to express the concept you're going to express, and then where to enhance detail so as to manipulate the eye in the direction you intend to draw it.

So for this cat, if you look closely, the attention of the picture is drawn to the facial area, and then the foreground between the two front paws. The back of the cat's body is less distinct, and the environment in the far back is quite misty and blue with atmospheric perspective. The fur between the cat's two front toes on the left, though, is pretty well defined, even though it's a soft area that wouldn't necessarily stand out that much to you in real life. So in this picture, the hope is that people will see Tugger for his face, and his sort of "commanding" position, laying boldly in his outdoor kingdom. The rest of the details hopefully "dawn" on the viewer as they explore the image.

Don't you think it's all very poetic? If you do what I did, and hire a few expert artists on Upwork, they could walk you through the process - if you think you'd ever be interested in art!
I usually find that, when people say they are bad at art, they mean they are bad at drawing. Drawing is insanely difficult...its probably the worst art by which to judge your artistic talent!

 

[Inexorable Username]

Thanks!
You clearly haven’t seen my stick men. They have depth, facial expressions, and things like top hats and dynamic stances. I don’t think I’m physically capable of being a simple person. Adding complexity is like a compulsion for me. I like. To be. Precise.
@_@ (somebody save me from myself!)

Sounds like awesome stick men! You should do them. (no jokes, guys) Stick men with top hats and dynamic stances are less ambitious than 3D men with top hats and dynamic stances, after all.

BUT! Here’s a thought. What if the conversation was merely chat bubbles...and maybe, at most, a person’s head from the shoulders up. One type of chat bubble could be used for Brain, another type, for Body. Then I need only draw chat bubbles, make changes in facial expressions, and that would be that.

I want to see facial expressions on stick men, thank you very much!

Hah! That video was sad but hilarious. I will have to see if I can find Mr. Stick Man. I don't think he's made it to the trash yet. I think he's laying abandoned in the "papers of irrelevancy" pile. Awaiting the day where I decide the statistical possibility of there being a paper of relevancy in said pile has become so low, that rather than waste my time sorting the pile, I just throw the whole thing out.

(This strategy has almost always served me! Except for the times...it did not...@_@ Horrifying times, Marbles. The degree of self-sabotage...the incredulity from others...it makes a girl shutter to think of it. Even so! The pile + wait + toss strategy persists in my life to this day. Some people just never learn their lesson. Namely me.)

 

[Inexorable Username]

Body: > Corpse Mode <
Output: zzzZZZZzzz...
Brain: > Dream Mode <
Output: ...$@2?>murder> *47..#4>cupcake>6FJ..W(99JA!!.-->.-->.

Body: WAKEUP!!!!
Brain: WHAT?!
BODY: BARFING DOG!
BRAIN: AHHHHHH!!!!
Dog: WTF! She's screaming! She's bolting out of bed! She's coming straight for me!
Dog = Out
Dog: What? What was I...Oh right. > barf mode <
Brain: Whew...Close one.
Body: (you never wake up that quickly for your alarm. we need a new wakeup sound: barfing dog.)

 

[Inexorable Username]

Body: (psst...wake up)
Brain: uhnn?
Body: (no - don't move. stay verrryyy still...)
Brain: What? Why?!
Body: (someone is behind you)
Brain: WHAT?!
Body: (I SAID DON'T MOVE!!)
Brain: Oh. My. God. We're going to die.
Body: (I know...he's standing behind you...breathing down your neck. If you turn to look - I'll bet he'll see you.)
Brain: Wait a minute. If I can't see him, you can't. How do you know he's there?
Body: (I have a feeling)
Brain: What? Seriously?! You're ridiculous. The front door is locked. The room door is locked. There's nobody in the house but me.
Body: (exactly....nobody to hear you scream for help...shhh - don't startle him)
Brain: This is insane. You're insane.
Body: (fine then. turn around. see where it gets you.)
Brain: Okay. I will.
Body: (good. I dare you.)
Brain: ....On second thought. Lets just lay here, paralyzed with fear. I wouldn't want to startle him.
Body: (my thoughts exactly.)

 

[peoplesuck]

Here’s some of my artwork! These are just portfolio items. I don’t generally have artwork hanging around because I throw it out. Lol.

View attachment 4706

Sketch of a friend

View attachment 4707

Playing with Photoshop

View attachment 4708

This one I can’t take full credit for. This was my first digital painting, so I hired two professional digital painters to critique my work and demonstrate digital painting techniques for me when I got stuck and wasn’t able to produce the look I was going for. The cat’s name is Tugger, and he’s something of a hero. I did this painting for a non-profit organization. The cat is a reformed feral and survivor of multiple ear surgeries. He’s a self-assured Tom cat, and I wanted to capture his majestic personality.

Edit: In case it wasn’t clear - the messed up ears are due to the fact that real Tugger has messed up ears. They’re not an artistic failure on my part.

very nice work! I love them all. the texture of the cat is fantastic, it looks soft

 

[Inexorable Username]

very nice work! I love them all. the texture of the cat is fantastic, it looks soft

Aww! Thanks!
It's petty, but I'm eating up all of these compliments...because I so rarely socialize and I've gotta say, it feels great having people compliment your work! I really appreciate all of the sweet things everyone has said. It really made my day nice.

 

[Cognisant]

Id: I'm hungry, let's order a pizza.
Ego: We're going to cook dinner.
Super-Ego: I'm with Id let's get pizza.
Ego: Hang on arn't you the one always banging on about how I eat too much and spend too much and how we really ought to eat healthier food?
Super-Ego: Yes but now I want pizza.
Ego: But... what...
Super-Ego: You're the manager I'm just the complaints department.
Ego: If you're complaints then what is he?
(points to Id chewing on an imaginary shoe)
Super-Ego: The customer.

 

[Black Rose]

Summer/Fall 2018

brain: sleep good
12 hours later
body: I need to pee
brain: sleep good
8 minutes later
body: I need to pee
brain: sleep good
4 hours later
Body: Pee NOW
Brain: god peeing sure hurts

 

[Cognisant]

(Alarm goes off)
Body: What the fuck is that?
Brain: The alarm, it happens every weekday, you should know this by now.
(Turns alarm off)
Body: Knowing shit is your job.
Brain: Indeed like I know you have muscle memory and a circadian rhythm, now get up we have to get ready for work.
Body: Dude we haven't had one of those for a looong time, anyway put the head down for a moment.
Brain: Why?
Body: Just need a minute to get the oxygen levels up before we start moving.
Brain: One. Minute.
Body: Yup.

An hour later.

Brain: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
Body: I dunno, a minute?
Brain: That was sixty minutes!
Body: Well good thing you can count because I sure can't.

 

[Inexorable Username]

Haha!! These are getting hilarious!! I love it!
AnimeKitty - I feel your pain. Especially in this freezing house! My brain and body children detest the cold.

@Cognisant
"Super-Ego: You're the manager I'm just the complaints department."
"Brain: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
Body: I dunno, a minute?"
Hilarious! XD

I'll try to do one later tonight if I have the time.

 

[Cognisant]

Dick: She's hot.
Brain: She's our boss, she's forty something and she's mad at us.
Dick: I am so into that.
Brain: WHY!?!

 

[Inexorable Username]

Dick: She's hot.
Brain: She's our boss, she's forty something and she's mad at us.
Dick: I am so into that.
Brain: WHY!?!

Lol! Love it. I was waiting for one of these. The dick/brain relationship has to be hilarious. You could probably publish a book on the topic

 

[Inexorable Username]

Body: (hey)
Brain: No.
Body: (hey)
Brain: I’m busy
Body: (heeeyyy)
Brain: I have to get this project done!
Body: (hhe-)
Brain: WHAT?!
Body: (I’m hungry)
Brain: You are not hungry! You ate 12 hours ago. Drink some caffeine.
Body: (no. I really am hungry)
Brain: Shut up. I need focus.
Body: (okay. enjoy that focus of yours.)
Brain: ....Man my head hurts
Body: (food headache. You’re welcome.)
Brain: Fine. You win. We’ll eat.
Body: (make it junky.)
Brain: You’re full. Happy now?
Body: (no. Now I’m sleepy.)
Brain: ....

Hours later, in bed.

Brain: Hey.
Body: (shhh...we’re sleeping.)
Brain: Hey.
Body: (WHAT!!)
Brain: If there is a mental wavelength that connects all human thought at the subconscious level, do you think other animal awarenesses could be connected to it as well? Is it exclusive to our planet, or does it interact with a greater force of subconscious existence within our galaxy? Or potentially...our universe?
Body: (...I’m not going to sleep am I?)
Brain: Nope. Philosophy rabbit hole, coming up.

Hours later, in bed.

Brain: last...article
Body: (we can’t. It’s over. We’re too weak to go on.)
Brain: ...no. No I can do it...I have to find out...how snails reproduce....
Body: (cannot...keep eyes...open)
Brain: ...can’t...think...okay body. You win. We’ll sleep.
Body: (....)
Brain: What?
Body: (....nothin’)
Brain: What.
Body: (....gotta pee)
Brain: Oh no. No. You don’t get to play dead on me and then pretend you suddenly have to pee.
Body: (I had to pee hours ago but you were ignoring me. Remember?)
Brain: No - don’t you pin this on me. You had plenty of opportunity to remind me. Now we’re finally about to fall asleep.
Body: (...well now I have to pee - and I’m cold.)
Brain: mental sigh I will never win against you, will I.
Body: (nope. Not since I peed in your bed when you were a kid.)
Brain: Fine. Just let me grab my phone.
Body: (NNOOO!!! Anything but that!)
Brain: Too late.

Next day

Dog: woof.
Body: (ugghhhnnn. What is that sound)
Brain: The dog...she has to pee.
Body: (...that’s what the floor is for. I was sleeping)
Brain: Not cool. We’ve got to take her out.
Body: (urrrrgggg...ooof. yawn fine. deploying movement in 3,2,1)

Exiting house with dog

Brain: I swear yesterday I was smart...what happened.
Body: (sleep deprivation.)
Brain: Oh, right.
Body: (Aaahhh!!! What is attacking my face?!!!)
Brain: It’s called sunlight. It happens in the morning. You know sunlight. You’ve seen it before.
Body: (not for days.)
Brain: hmmm...valid.

Body: (do you feel like something...is missing? With us?)
Brain: What? Like...spiritually?
Body: (no...something smaller. I can’t put my finger on it. This feeling of...emptiness.)
Brain: Well...you did pee a lot last night.
Body: (no...emptiness...in my pocket.)
Brain: wait. What?! BODY! Did you forget the keys?!
Body: (no! Yes - but no...that’s your job!)
Brain: Well. Great. Now we’re locked out with the dog.
Body: (where’s logical brain? She can save us)
Brain: No. She can’t. She’s still asleep.

30 Minutes Later

Logical Brain: ....why are we still standing here...outside.
Brain: We’re locked out.
Body: (yes. And tired.)
Dog: Woof.
Logical Brain: No I mean...why have we been standing here for the last half hour when there’s a spare key under the mat.
Brain: See. I told you she could save us.
Body: (whew. Thank g- waiiittt a minute...)
Brain: I’m so clever.
Logical Brain: That morning sucked. Let’s go back to bed and try again in an hour.
Brain & Body: Agreed!
Body: (.....)
Brain: No! Just hold it!

 

[Perfectly Normal Beast]

me: "we'd better get some shit done"

my brain: "everything is absurd tho"

me: "..."

 

[Cognisant]

@Inexorable Username
Bravo, that was great.

 

[Inexorable Username]

@Inexorable Username
Bravo, that was great.

Thanks!

 

[Inexorable Username]

me: "we'd better get some shit done"

my brain: "everything is absurd tho"

me: "..."

When your brain makes too much sense and you can’t really argue

 

[Inexorable Username]

Body: (a guy is talking to us. I feel weird about it)
Brain: Why? He’s a human. He just happens to have inconsequential differences in his pants.
Body: (he’s a MALE. They are trouble.)
Brain: Whatever body. You do you.
——
Body: (it’s the same male from yesterday)
Brain: Yeah. I know. We’ve been talking to him for a week now.
Body: (i’m starting to get used to him. He can stay.)
Brain: Great. Nobody asked you.
—-
Body: (hey! That’s the same guy from-)
Brain: Obviously.
Body: (he’s getting hot.)
Brain: What? No he’s not. It’s only 62 deg- oh. Oh no. Don’t you dare.
Body: (he smells nice doesn’t he.)
Brain: Body. Shut up! Don’t ruin this for me. He’s my friend.
Body: (I know. It’s sexy. Ask him what he’s doing tonight.)
Brain: NO!
Body: (fine don’t. Anyways, I have plans.)
Brain: Eww. Gross. You totally do not have plans. Your plans are cancelled.
Body: (maybe. But you suck at canceling THOSE plans.)
Guy: “You look like you’re thinking hard about something.”
Me: “I think I have plans...tonight...”
Guy: “Uhh...what? Okay, then....”
Body: (HAHAHA! She just said that out loud)
Brain: We are so dead.

 

[Inexorable Username]

Brain: This person just...will not...shut...up
Body: (i feel fidgety.)
Brain: Oh my god. Who cares what Trump tweeted yesterday?!
Body: (i have to pee.)
Me: “I totally agree with you...”
Brain: I win. That makes 7 lies in 15 minutes.
Body: (awww. I never win.)
Logical Brain: Silence peanut gallery! We’re mingling.
Brain: This sucks.
Body: (I have to eat.)
Brain: No you don’t. You just ate.
Body: (I know. But this is boring, and there’s treats on that table over there.)
Brain: We can’t keep this up. If I don’t get stage time soon I’m going to die of neglect.
Logical Brain: Don’t you start with that BS. You don’t get stage time. You screw everything up.
Me: “I love that dress. Where did you get it?”
Body: (as if she’d wear it...)
Brain: I think my IQ just fell 10 points
Me: “It’s been so cold lately. Winter is coming so fast.”
Body: (no sh*t. They have bodies for detecting exterior fluctuations in temperature too, fool.)
Brain: oh...my...god...can’t go on...
Body: (you can! You have to!)
Logical Brain: Yes! Her social status depends on it!
Me: “Yes, the traffic was terrible for me as well.”
Body: (oh man. The conversation is getting worse..)
Brain: HELP! HELP!
Logical Brain: Just 10 more minutes! Then we’ll go hide in the bathroom!
Me: “I’m sure your small son is quite smart. Imagine this though -“
Body: (oh no. Here we go)
Me: “-what if our perceived intelligence is much more malleable than we ever imagined?”
Brain: Self-destruction in three...
Me: “A number of scientific studies suggest that many, many things relating to our mental and physical functioning that we typically perceive as consequences of genetics -“
Body: (two..)
Me: “- and therefore somewhat deterministic, insofar as our innate abilities are concerned, have actually been shown to improve significantly with regular use - the sense of a smell, for example!”
Logical Brain: One.
Me: “- so...so, uhm....I - I think it’s great your kid got an A+ on their math test...it’s a very positive sign for mental progress...”
Brain: Done.
Logical Brain: Okay, we can hide in the bathroom now.

 

[sushi]

great thread

brain and body constantly sends you lies and false signals

its stated in descartes theory of evil genius

basically the rule of thumb is i hold 40- 60% truth while the rest in bias.