MichiganJFrog
Rupert Pupkin's stalker
Just me ranting, basically. Have at it, folks. I mean, y'know, if you want.
Narcissism: you feel it is neither safe (because you will be ridiculed, shamed, humiliated, mocked, physically injured, sexually abused, etc.) nor worthwhile (because you will be ignored) to direct your instinctual aims toward external objects, so the only remaining option is to direct them toward yourself. Of all your instinctual aims, sex is the last to go, the one you hold on to the longest before you give up hope. The goals of developing your talents and abilities are long gone by the time you realize no one wants to help you get your jollies.
If depression is anger directed inward (also because it is not safe or worthwhile to direct it outward [because it will have no effect or a negative effect]), narcissism is love directed inward. Assuming that the premise is correct that directing it outward will do no good, it makes perfect sense to direct it inward, since the need to love something won’t just go away. Since you can’t direct love outward, however, it means you have failed, and thus you also hate yourself.
In addition, the need for connection to something outside oneself doesn’t go away, either. It does, however, become twisted, to the point where the narcissistic individual tries to control whatever is outside himself or herself, to make whatever is outside himself or herself conform to his imagined version of external reality, since truly acknowledging anything outside himself or herself is too frightening to contemplate. Things not going according to plan is too frightening to contemplate because the individual has been conditioned to believe that the only acceptable state of affairs is complete mastery of his or her external environment. When you get seriously ill or as you enter your later years, you realize you can’t even totally control your own body, and that’s when the narcissistic belief structure really starts to crumble.
Both narcissism and depression could be seen as part of a larger decision to turn away from the world in terms of emotional and intellectual investment. Given that one believes his investment will not be met with any return, this is a perfectly rational decision, regardless of whether the opinion that led to it is actually true. It is true enough in the person’s mind, and there are probably powerful historical antecedents in the person life leading him or her to believe it.
Helping the individual understand that, while he may not get everything he wants, he may get some things, and even those he may have to wait for, is probably the best way out of this logical trap. It is a logical trap, the worst kind of irony, because the individual believes that the only way to be happy is to control everything around him, when in fact that will make him miserable, because all the important people in his life will get tired of his trying to control them, and leave him one by one, if not en masse.
Since it is a turning around of the energy directed outward, narcissism, like depression, can be considered a perversion.
ORIGIN late Middle English : from Latin perversio(n-), from the verb pervertere ‘turn around’ (see pervert ).
However, not all narcissism or depression should be considered perverse, since some energy is always directed toward the self. It is when the individual attempts to direct all his energy inward, and when he attempts to siphon energy from others without giving any in return—when he becomes a kind of emotional black hole—that narcissism and depression become perversions.
(Or does narcissism encompass depression, if we define narcissism as including all emotions in the general sense of turning inward and withdrawing from the world?)
Narcissism: you feel it is neither safe (because you will be ridiculed, shamed, humiliated, mocked, physically injured, sexually abused, etc.) nor worthwhile (because you will be ignored) to direct your instinctual aims toward external objects, so the only remaining option is to direct them toward yourself. Of all your instinctual aims, sex is the last to go, the one you hold on to the longest before you give up hope. The goals of developing your talents and abilities are long gone by the time you realize no one wants to help you get your jollies.
If depression is anger directed inward (also because it is not safe or worthwhile to direct it outward [because it will have no effect or a negative effect]), narcissism is love directed inward. Assuming that the premise is correct that directing it outward will do no good, it makes perfect sense to direct it inward, since the need to love something won’t just go away. Since you can’t direct love outward, however, it means you have failed, and thus you also hate yourself.
In addition, the need for connection to something outside oneself doesn’t go away, either. It does, however, become twisted, to the point where the narcissistic individual tries to control whatever is outside himself or herself, to make whatever is outside himself or herself conform to his imagined version of external reality, since truly acknowledging anything outside himself or herself is too frightening to contemplate. Things not going according to plan is too frightening to contemplate because the individual has been conditioned to believe that the only acceptable state of affairs is complete mastery of his or her external environment. When you get seriously ill or as you enter your later years, you realize you can’t even totally control your own body, and that’s when the narcissistic belief structure really starts to crumble.
Both narcissism and depression could be seen as part of a larger decision to turn away from the world in terms of emotional and intellectual investment. Given that one believes his investment will not be met with any return, this is a perfectly rational decision, regardless of whether the opinion that led to it is actually true. It is true enough in the person’s mind, and there are probably powerful historical antecedents in the person life leading him or her to believe it.
Helping the individual understand that, while he may not get everything he wants, he may get some things, and even those he may have to wait for, is probably the best way out of this logical trap. It is a logical trap, the worst kind of irony, because the individual believes that the only way to be happy is to control everything around him, when in fact that will make him miserable, because all the important people in his life will get tired of his trying to control them, and leave him one by one, if not en masse.
Since it is a turning around of the energy directed outward, narcissism, like depression, can be considered a perversion.
ORIGIN late Middle English : from Latin perversio(n-), from the verb pervertere ‘turn around’ (see pervert ).
However, not all narcissism or depression should be considered perverse, since some energy is always directed toward the self. It is when the individual attempts to direct all his energy inward, and when he attempts to siphon energy from others without giving any in return—when he becomes a kind of emotional black hole—that narcissism and depression become perversions.
(Or does narcissism encompass depression, if we define narcissism as including all emotions in the general sense of turning inward and withdrawing from the world?)
