Lack of Taking Risks

[Aurias]

Being a strongly emotionally independent person, I've not only instilled a set of regulation tests and logical evaluations for each situation but I've gone too far with such questioning. Pondering out every possibility before taking an action has led me to become innate in relationships and general conversation. I stick with the tried and proven dull conversation and actions that lead to less conflict or continued action.

This usually leads to me failing at connecting to any other human being that I am not already established with. Not taking failure well, this turns into a cycle of self-loathing and continued lack of taking risks.

So, I ask to you, my fellow INTP's, do you also take few risks and does this lead to negative outcomes for you?

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I have been there...

Lately I've been taking a little more risks, and really all it does is lead to positive outcomes. You see, sometimes there might be a little negative thing about the outcomes, but the positives far outweigh the negatives. Yeah sure, I might've said some stupid shit, but generally people seem to be way more comfortable with me. You become more human if you make a few mistakes anyways.

 

[digital angel]

Does it help to think of inductive logic? Sometimes you move three or four steps forward and then have to take two steps back. You move forward from there. What I'm trying to say is that inductive logic occurs all the time, especially in science. Still, people keep going because when you take the two steps back, you have more knowledge now, than you did in the prior step.

I'll think you'll be ok. The other thing to keep in mind is that people will respond how they will and it's not really a reflection of you.

 

[thelithiumcat]

Being a strongly emotionally independent person, I've not only instilled a set of regulation tests and logical evaluations for each situation but I've gone too far with such questioning. Pondering out every possibility before taking an action has led me to become innate in relationships and general conversation. I stick with the tried and proven dull conversation and actions that lead to less conflict or continued action.

This usually leads to me failing at connecting to any other human being that I am not already established with. Not taking failure well, this turns into a cycle of self-loathing and continued lack of taking risks.

So, I ask to you, my fellow INTP's, do you also take few risks and does this lead to negative outcomes for you?

I do that. I think of it as using preprogrammed interactions which I resort to when I don't have enough time to consider what to say or I don't know people. I'm not very adventurous when talking to people because I don't want to not know what to say (I have very low expectations of myself socially). It's got to such an extent that, of all the people I know in real life, I only ever contact one person; if I didn't contact her daily I probably wouldn't talk to her either because the longer I don't talk to someone, the more confidence I have to accumulate before I even message them. I have a fear that I'll end up having conversations like this:

Me: Hi
Them: Hi
Me: How're you?
Them: Fine, you?
Me: Fine.​

I see no reason why I should inflict such a conversation on a friendship which I value highly. As a result I greatly miss certain close friends whom I rarely see but because I don't know how I should go about talking to them I don't; I don't know the parameters and don't feel I have a rapport with them over subject areas we mutually like so I can't use in-jokes or common experiences in conversation. I see talking to friends over the internet as a huge undertaking. I don't want to have them reply and not know what to say or get out of my comfort zone. In this sense, non-real life communication with close friends is a huge problem for me. I'm much more open on the internet with those whom I don't know (which therefore will lead to me not having a negative social situation in real life) but I find it difficult to talk to most of those I know.
When talking to people in person, the situation is rather reversed. While I still have the dreaded conversation above, it doesn't happen as much with close friends as those I don't know. Particularly in situations to which I am unaccustomed I will stick to one person whom I know like glue until I've figured out how to deal with it and lost my fear of unexpected events, after which I'm fairly independent and solitary and if I don't know anyone then I will retreat into myself and try to be where I won't be noticed.

In answer to your question, I tend to put off having to take risks for as long as possible. These risks tend to be decisions which I cannot adapt; for example, current major ones are my university course, which subject I will drop for A2 and choosing a university. I don't want to become trapped into something because my initial decision tends to be wrong. Socially, risks such as asking friends about something which is troubling them are usually never taken because I feel unable to handle it without having heavily considered it in my mind.

 

[scorpiomover]

I used to avoid risks like the plague. But I've still ended up making my fair of mistakes, and paying for them heavily. So these days, I think that sometimes, not taking a risk is just as much of a problem as taking a risk. In any situation, you need to do a risk assessment, to decide if acting or not-acting is the better course of action.

 

[EditorOne]

"Being a strongly emotionally independent person, I've not only instilled a set of regulation tests and logical evaluations for each situation but I've gone too far with such questioning. Pondering out every possibility before taking an action has led me to become innate in relationships and general conversation. I stick with the tried and proven dull conversation and actions that lead to less conflict or continued action.

This usually leads to me failing at connecting to any other human being that I am not already established with. Not taking failure well, this turns into a cycle of self-loathing and continued lack of taking risks.

So, I ask to you, my fellow INTP's, do you also take few risks and does this lead to negative outcomes for you?"

Are you commingling overanalysis with risk avoidance? And I'm not sure what constitutes failure or what you see as a risk.
You are not really emotionally independent, by the way. It is more just the opposite: You are so ill equipped to use emotions for effective decisionmaking and useful thinking that you rely on logic and analysis as substitutes. That doesn't make you independent; pretending you're independent of them may lead you astray. For instance: Right now you are avoiding the risk of failure because of how it makes you feel. Uh oh. Right at the core of what you're doing: Emotion-driven motivation. That's a real pisser of a conundrum.

Your analysis model may need tinkering. If you are avoiding things because you fear participation may lead to you disappointing yourself with the quality and intelligence of your own contribution, here's an adjustment: Stop self-referencing. There are other yardsticks that can overcome the inertia. Look outward: Is there anything you could say to make the other person feel better? You might ask why you'd want to do that. I might ask "why not?" What else are you doing except brooding? One way to make friends is to take a polite interest in others. Any conversation can give you a chance to deploy insights. I wouldn't deploy them like I just did here; in the real world this would be pretty blunt stuff, but I'm taking a chance you are INTP enough to just say 'oh, isn't that interesting' or something.