Ex-User (9086)
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[JUSTIF]Creation of this thread is relatively unimportant. I introduce myself as i may reply to other posts in the future and this is a form of respect and something close to relaying the presence. I would like to lead to the main conclusion, as there lies my interest in different or the only possible way of approaching the matter.
As a side note: this personality test i took quite recently and accidentally. Well it could be an extender horoscope or divination. It is interesting that reading the obvious truths about oneself may place restrains on other aspects one is not aware of. I can relate to some parts of the test, other interpretations seem too biased and unimportant.
I came to be as something beyond beholder and norm keeper when i was 17, it was the time I realised how little i have done with things that i value. It is comparable to a leaf on the wind idea, but i prefer a stream as a picture of external influence.
I would take two states as an individual, one of creating worlds, ideas, discussions, problems and other of perceiving what most agree to call reality, mostly in form of violent and equilibrium breaking chains of events that hurt people around. I had a sense of harmony, i would comply with most of the rules imposed only to break them when i felt they impaired me.
Most of my actions outside my world were out of necessity, doing them quickly would mean i could return to the more favorable state of peace.
This resulted in multitude of conflicts, or maybe poor outcomes.
At the age of 13 my world would revolve around imagination, fantasy and sci-fi books, films, anime, video games and music.
I got acquainted with a new group of possibly interesting people, this was a standard i held, if something was interesting i would incorporate it into my world consisting of most-fascinating things.
On of the potentially interesting guys revealed the idea of roleplaying to me as we were climbing the mountains together. This was amazing, this would mean i could meet with interesting people and expand my lonely self interaction to an experience with several unpredictable elements.
In a regular fashion we would meet and play in the vast worlds created by my friend. After a few months i became the only game master, spending hours creating designs for others to appear in. I also realized, i was the person motivating and leading others to create a meeting or session, as social-interaction was a mean to achieve something i was wanted, it was the first time i had a powerful interpersonal impact.
Other things went as unremarkably as i cared about them, school was effortless i had good grades without attending lessons, studying etc. The whole idea of competition seemed appalling, i couldn't care less who won whatever the contest was. I would see no point in most things, as they would eventually lead to unimportant results, in fact results were concern only if it was to put my ambitious mother at ease.
One of my good friends would call me a total nihilist, in fact i didn't care what the nihilism was either, i knew it was connected with nothingness from my fascination in languages.
At the stage of high school i lost some of rpg friends and tried to find some more. Reasons why they stopped playing seemed ridiculous, one would later become a fascist amazed by the cult of leaders and military might, other would go to expensive private education believing he would become a great CEO as his father.
Only one of them would stay with me, one that would later become nihilist himself and fall into a whole range of what could be mental disorders and chain addictions.
By the end of high school i had no idea of who i wanted to be, it felt as if i wouldn't be good at any of my fields of attention.
Not experienced in maths to be an astronomer, grades too average to enroll to a good course of philosophy or psychology. I had some chances of studying the language, engineering or chemistry.
Considering the options i would go to a most general course of engineering, hoping that a wide variety of disciplines would help me choose something.
Finally 18, i haven't finished that course. I find the state that led me to fail the exams was similar to depression, or lack of any impression. I procastinated, then would procastinate reasoning "I won't finish this, as i will soon put this off again". Then even if i was prepared, I focused too much on a single step in the place of a whole task.
I tried to conclude, what is it that i desire, what is the point, etc. Something i tried to figure out since the beginning.
Thus my understanding came about, that there is no goal or point to anything considerable.
Science has no value other than the action of pursuit itself. Any breakthrough, advancement leads to repeating patterns and escalating influence. There is nothing new to science, any advanced technology is just a way to redirect and control greater amounts of resources minimizing the energy requirement.
People living 100 years with the "knowledge" instead of 15 do not live considerably "happier lives", it rather depends on the individual. All the "new" hardware is just approaching limits of our imagination in material world instead.
People are enslaved as they were and opressed mentally even more by the state technology. The same principle forces you to earn a living as it did for XIII century peasants to work in the fields.
Even to their masters, people will soon be obsolete, cheaper machines will take their place.
Even humans as forms of energy and data will be obsolete, transhumanist machines will develop technologies faster, etc.
There is also a limit to all things, entropy is a limit of how long the universe can hold.
Science also has a limit, it is the understanding of all things, god. After everything is known, you can emulate anything, rendering any action pointless, outcome is already known.
When you become such creature, you die, simply you made every decision, know every end result, burned out and empty.
I learned that what i value is unknown, to behold what i don't understand is greatest pleasure. When something is good it is interesting, as soon as it is known, it needs to be carefully put within the library of the mind, favourably forgotten and discovered anew.
I am now trying to act, come closer to what i hold important, however action is what i need to empower in myself.
This is what you could call a current state. With this reason i chose to study again, i need more discipline, i seem to have determination.
Ending: There is no value to it unless you place one. I gave you as unbiased view as i could. As you have read it, you have read it.
I adress like-minded individuals in hopes of creating something of value.
I wonder what is your view, reaction to my view?
I feel there can be some more different insight on the matter i could use.
I'm looking forward to exchanging thoughts from time to time.[/JUSTIF]
As a side note: this personality test i took quite recently and accidentally. Well it could be an extender horoscope or divination. It is interesting that reading the obvious truths about oneself may place restrains on other aspects one is not aware of. I can relate to some parts of the test, other interpretations seem too biased and unimportant.
I came to be as something beyond beholder and norm keeper when i was 17, it was the time I realised how little i have done with things that i value. It is comparable to a leaf on the wind idea, but i prefer a stream as a picture of external influence.
I would take two states as an individual, one of creating worlds, ideas, discussions, problems and other of perceiving what most agree to call reality, mostly in form of violent and equilibrium breaking chains of events that hurt people around. I had a sense of harmony, i would comply with most of the rules imposed only to break them when i felt they impaired me.
Most of my actions outside my world were out of necessity, doing them quickly would mean i could return to the more favorable state of peace.
This resulted in multitude of conflicts, or maybe poor outcomes.
At the age of 13 my world would revolve around imagination, fantasy and sci-fi books, films, anime, video games and music.
I got acquainted with a new group of possibly interesting people, this was a standard i held, if something was interesting i would incorporate it into my world consisting of most-fascinating things.
On of the potentially interesting guys revealed the idea of roleplaying to me as we were climbing the mountains together. This was amazing, this would mean i could meet with interesting people and expand my lonely self interaction to an experience with several unpredictable elements.
In a regular fashion we would meet and play in the vast worlds created by my friend. After a few months i became the only game master, spending hours creating designs for others to appear in. I also realized, i was the person motivating and leading others to create a meeting or session, as social-interaction was a mean to achieve something i was wanted, it was the first time i had a powerful interpersonal impact.
Other things went as unremarkably as i cared about them, school was effortless i had good grades without attending lessons, studying etc. The whole idea of competition seemed appalling, i couldn't care less who won whatever the contest was. I would see no point in most things, as they would eventually lead to unimportant results, in fact results were concern only if it was to put my ambitious mother at ease.
One of my good friends would call me a total nihilist, in fact i didn't care what the nihilism was either, i knew it was connected with nothingness from my fascination in languages.
At the stage of high school i lost some of rpg friends and tried to find some more. Reasons why they stopped playing seemed ridiculous, one would later become a fascist amazed by the cult of leaders and military might, other would go to expensive private education believing he would become a great CEO as his father.
Only one of them would stay with me, one that would later become nihilist himself and fall into a whole range of what could be mental disorders and chain addictions.
By the end of high school i had no idea of who i wanted to be, it felt as if i wouldn't be good at any of my fields of attention.
Not experienced in maths to be an astronomer, grades too average to enroll to a good course of philosophy or psychology. I had some chances of studying the language, engineering or chemistry.
Considering the options i would go to a most general course of engineering, hoping that a wide variety of disciplines would help me choose something.
Finally 18, i haven't finished that course. I find the state that led me to fail the exams was similar to depression, or lack of any impression. I procastinated, then would procastinate reasoning "I won't finish this, as i will soon put this off again". Then even if i was prepared, I focused too much on a single step in the place of a whole task.
I tried to conclude, what is it that i desire, what is the point, etc. Something i tried to figure out since the beginning.
Thus my understanding came about, that there is no goal or point to anything considerable.
Science has no value other than the action of pursuit itself. Any breakthrough, advancement leads to repeating patterns and escalating influence. There is nothing new to science, any advanced technology is just a way to redirect and control greater amounts of resources minimizing the energy requirement.
People living 100 years with the "knowledge" instead of 15 do not live considerably "happier lives", it rather depends on the individual. All the "new" hardware is just approaching limits of our imagination in material world instead.
People are enslaved as they were and opressed mentally even more by the state technology. The same principle forces you to earn a living as it did for XIII century peasants to work in the fields.
Even to their masters, people will soon be obsolete, cheaper machines will take their place.
Even humans as forms of energy and data will be obsolete, transhumanist machines will develop technologies faster, etc.
There is also a limit to all things, entropy is a limit of how long the universe can hold.
Science also has a limit, it is the understanding of all things, god. After everything is known, you can emulate anything, rendering any action pointless, outcome is already known.
When you become such creature, you die, simply you made every decision, know every end result, burned out and empty.
I learned that what i value is unknown, to behold what i don't understand is greatest pleasure. When something is good it is interesting, as soon as it is known, it needs to be carefully put within the library of the mind, favourably forgotten and discovered anew.
I am now trying to act, come closer to what i hold important, however action is what i need to empower in myself.
This is what you could call a current state. With this reason i chose to study again, i need more discipline, i seem to have determination.
Ending: There is no value to it unless you place one. I gave you as unbiased view as i could. As you have read it, you have read it.
I adress like-minded individuals in hopes of creating something of value.
I wonder what is your view, reaction to my view?
I feel there can be some more different insight on the matter i could use.
I'm looking forward to exchanging thoughts from time to time.[/JUSTIF]
