Just saying hi

[Something Random]

Introductions are definitely not my best point, but I will try my best.

So hello. I'm 25 and I live in Poland. After some MBTI tests I discovered that I'm INTP personality. And honestly, I have mixed feelings about this so it would be nice to hear some other people opinions.

I'm really introverted person. I like being alone and I get tired quickly in social gatherings or in crowded places. I have a few very close friends, but I need my alone time. A lot of alone time. Because of that I don't have very good social skills. I don't know if I'm very shy or not because I don't feel that shy. I can charge forward if things need to be done, but I hate introducing myself or explaining things. I tend to stumble or go around the thing that I'm explaining so its not very clear. I'm just more eloquent in my head and unfortunately I can't be like that in real conversations.

Thats why I'm pretty detached from the real world, daydreaming and just living inside my head. Really time-wasting thing but I can't help it. My psychologist told me that is some sort of defense mechanism, but if thats the case then I'm constantly defending myself from something (life probably)

I'm rather calm and quiet person, indiferent even. Other people often tell me that I look scared or sad, but I just like to keep my face relaxed (my default face happens to be the sad one, great). It can get annoying after some time but I think my sad face is better than my awkward smiles. I don't have any self esteem problems. I think that I'm rather pretty even with my flaws. My indiference did help me with achieving rather positive image of myself so I don't think its a bad thing. Everything can have positives, rigt?

Why I'm writting this random introduction? Recently I have been feeling quite depressed. I'm worried about fitting in the society. And I need to do that, because I will have to deal with a lot of the new people when I get a job. And my social skills are bad. Why its bothering me now? Because I got myself an internship in purchasing departament. Weird, but I managed to do this somehow.

I'm feeling stressed because I don't think I can handle this job but I don't want to give up after just 1,5 month. So maybe I'm hoping that I will practice some people skills here (small steps but its always something). Or that I will get some advices or just different points of view that will help me overcome or at least improve this awkward and introverted personality of mine.

My english is rather average, so if something is hard to understand I can try to rephrase myself.

 

[Ex-User (14663)]

I think it's all about just acting naturally (i.e. in line with your own personality, even if it means being an introvert) and try to be as relaxed as possible. Forget the stuff people told you that having social skills is about talking a lot, talking very loudly, or showing a lot of emotion or whatever. It's all nonsense. Trying to act according to what you believe to be other people's expectations of your behavior leads to what is actually awkward: tenseness and stifled expression.

Just be a friendly and cool introvert. People will love that.

 

[onesteptwostep]

Welcome stranger. We've largely died off but you can enjoy the corpses here and there and say hi to some of the remaining ghouls.

And oh yes you have irl problems? Our special INTP Army¿ will provide for you all the permutations of determinant choices you may take and expound on the psychological oversight you may have committed while in physical life-journey-transit. But be warned, none of us have actual real life experiences in the real life. Also be warned, each of us has a horror to tell... you will know of them as you spook about our lair... beware of the kitties.. and the robots and the Englishmen... oh and how am I alive to tell of these dreadful occurances? Well I am immune since I am a believer in the Light you see. But don't get too close! The light may blind you and take you to the abyss, as some of the ghouls have had to endure.. either way.. tread lightly!

 

[Something Random]

Being nice and cool introvert was enough until one person had to take mathernity leave. Now the person thats in charge of me (extrovrert ans workaholic) constantly scolds me and complains that "you should speak more confidently, louder, be more assertive" etc. I'm getting internally pissed of by this person but after thinking it over I concluded that its a battle thats not worth taking. Thats why I want to improve my people skills, even if its just a little bit, so this person will back off and I won't feel this uneasy before going to work.

Also I like ghouls and other undead creatures so I think I will manage. And I don't know people without any horrors in their life (thought I don't know that many of them), so I'm not afraid. My indifference protects me from stepping too far into the light or darkness so I feel save for now. Not so sure about those robots that you mentioned.

Giving advices without any experience can be usefull too. Usefull and interesting. We can even make a little experiment out of that, in the worst case it won't succeed and I will have to look for another internship. But it can turn out to be good thing as well

 

[Ex-User (14663)]

@onesteptwostep none of us have irl experience? Speak for yourself, sir.

I personally have experimented with whole lotta different approaches over the years, and made the point of putting myself into a wide range of situations to learn from.

But I guess in the end, it is true to some extent that advice on this kind of stuff is more or less useless, because people don't internalize things they haven't experienced. People act the way they act because they believe it is the correct way to act. Homeostasis of behavior is hard to overcome.

 

[onesteptwostep]

Oh. Hmmm.


Idk

 

[CatGoddess]

Now the person thats in charge of me (extrovrert ans workaholic) constantly scolds me and complains that "you should speak more confidently, louder, be more assertive" etc. I'm getting internally pissed of by this person but after thinking it over I concluded that its a battle thats not worth taking. Thats why I want to improve my people skills, even if its just a little bit, so this person will back off and I won't feel this uneasy before going to work.

That's a battle not worth taking? But I think that sort of attitude's what your coworker's criticizing. So, for starters, if you're looking to be more assertive, tell your coworker to get the hell out of your business. Take a stand. I mean, yeah, he's a supervisor, but that doesn't mean you need to let him control how you interact with other people or play little pygmalion games with you. It's a rather passive and non-confident stance to just concede defeat on something like this (i.e. altering your behavior constantly, for an extended period of time, because this guy isn't okay with you not being an extrovert).