dogmacovington
Redshirt
Hello everyone, I just joined intpforum.
I'm an INTP, Enneagram type 5w6 and RCUEI (Global 5). I'm in my early 20s and I'm still trying to figure out what shall I do with my life, as many of my age and especially, type, are doing.
One of the things that most defines me as a person is trying to fit in a role or persona. I've written several lists on paper and PC and I always try to imagine myself as that ideal, whether it is a stoic wise man/taoist hermit or an eccentric confident guy that adapts to everyday life in his personal way. In truth, I'm just a guy that silently goes to the supermarket, buys all the things he needs in few minutes, says 1 or 2 words to the cashier, pays and leaves (and this process kinda defines all the transactions of this sort).
I'm that silent kid that once in a whole gets a smile from some girl and that's pretty much and does whatever is requested in class rather quickly. As for the interesting parts of my life, those are limited exclusively to my mind, daydreaming and ideas. Creating worlds and imagining my role in them is very pleasing and I could do this all day all my life if I could. The problem starts there, since not only that reinforces my reclusiveness even more, but also leads to a great variety of ideas never to see the light of day (I know this is a recurring topic between INTPs - A Thousand ideas, no works done to express that massive flow. I have always prefered the idea and the idealization of the thing over the thing itself. Acquiring data about a place and imagining a trip there is actually more satisfying to me than an actual trip.
This wouldn't be a problem if I had at least 3 millions dollars in the bank. Thus, I'd be able to daydream and think my way through life. But obviously, that is not the case, so I must adapt. I think the solution passes through experiencing things more and self-discipline. But how to start and persevere, that I do not know.
Also, I'm a bit insecure and sometimes I wonder what others may think of me, but I usually cast that away after focusing. It also helps that I tend to be a bit misanthropic so I do look down on people sometimes, even though I recon I'm not something special and that I'm just trying to get by like millions are doing atm.
Additional information about me.
My favorite books are Blood Meridian, The History of Warfare, Tom Clancy's Novels, The Moon is a harsh mistress, The Book of disquiet, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, The Skeptic's dictionary and any good non-fiction informative book. I love audiobooks as well.
As for music, I'm more into videogame soundtracks such as the soundtracks of the Total war series by Jeff van Dyck, SEGA soundtracks, and Celtic themed music and music of Two Steps from Hell.
I spend most of my time in the internet and playing videogames nowadays like many, and work out once in a while.
I'm into the Taoist and Stoic philosophies and I am also a bit into the esoteric such as paganism, some horoscopes, rituals, etc.
I like videogames such as Rainbow Six: Raven Shield, the Total War series, the Hitman series, Deus ex, Fallout, Splinter Cell and Silent Hill. Any game where I can roleplay is valued as well, being Fallout: New Vegas my favorite in this aspect.
I apologize for posting such a long post. I hope I'm not contributing to the overload of new threads in the forum through something as banal as an introduction. If you have experienced any of the things I described, I'd like to know how do you deal with things in your everyday lives. To me, facing responsability and being capable of supporting myself are good goals, because I'm very afraid of not being adequate to this world. However, the more I procrastinate, the more I think that this fear will become reality.
I'm an INTP, Enneagram type 5w6 and RCUEI (Global 5). I'm in my early 20s and I'm still trying to figure out what shall I do with my life, as many of my age and especially, type, are doing.
One of the things that most defines me as a person is trying to fit in a role or persona. I've written several lists on paper and PC and I always try to imagine myself as that ideal, whether it is a stoic wise man/taoist hermit or an eccentric confident guy that adapts to everyday life in his personal way. In truth, I'm just a guy that silently goes to the supermarket, buys all the things he needs in few minutes, says 1 or 2 words to the cashier, pays and leaves (and this process kinda defines all the transactions of this sort).
I'm that silent kid that once in a whole gets a smile from some girl and that's pretty much and does whatever is requested in class rather quickly. As for the interesting parts of my life, those are limited exclusively to my mind, daydreaming and ideas. Creating worlds and imagining my role in them is very pleasing and I could do this all day all my life if I could. The problem starts there, since not only that reinforces my reclusiveness even more, but also leads to a great variety of ideas never to see the light of day (I know this is a recurring topic between INTPs - A Thousand ideas, no works done to express that massive flow. I have always prefered the idea and the idealization of the thing over the thing itself. Acquiring data about a place and imagining a trip there is actually more satisfying to me than an actual trip.
This wouldn't be a problem if I had at least 3 millions dollars in the bank. Thus, I'd be able to daydream and think my way through life. But obviously, that is not the case, so I must adapt. I think the solution passes through experiencing things more and self-discipline. But how to start and persevere, that I do not know.
Also, I'm a bit insecure and sometimes I wonder what others may think of me, but I usually cast that away after focusing. It also helps that I tend to be a bit misanthropic so I do look down on people sometimes, even though I recon I'm not something special and that I'm just trying to get by like millions are doing atm.
Additional information about me.
My favorite books are Blood Meridian, The History of Warfare, Tom Clancy's Novels, The Moon is a harsh mistress, The Book of disquiet, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, The Skeptic's dictionary and any good non-fiction informative book. I love audiobooks as well.
As for music, I'm more into videogame soundtracks such as the soundtracks of the Total war series by Jeff van Dyck, SEGA soundtracks, and Celtic themed music and music of Two Steps from Hell.
I spend most of my time in the internet and playing videogames nowadays like many, and work out once in a while.
I'm into the Taoist and Stoic philosophies and I am also a bit into the esoteric such as paganism, some horoscopes, rituals, etc.
I like videogames such as Rainbow Six: Raven Shield, the Total War series, the Hitman series, Deus ex, Fallout, Splinter Cell and Silent Hill. Any game where I can roleplay is valued as well, being Fallout: New Vegas my favorite in this aspect.
I apologize for posting such a long post. I hope I'm not contributing to the overload of new threads in the forum through something as banal as an introduction. If you have experienced any of the things I described, I'd like to know how do you deal with things in your everyday lives. To me, facing responsability and being capable of supporting myself are good goals, because I'm very afraid of not being adequate to this world. However, the more I procrastinate, the more I think that this fear will become reality.
