incorporealreality
intp?
I recently sang at my first open mic, in a little hostel bar thing...and it was really fun. I'm kind of inspired to start sharing things i've created over the past while, and before i start publicly performing i'd like to get some unbiased feedback. so let me know what your personal thoughts are if you have any you'd like to share.
Thanks!
Also, do u think a video of me performing the free form poem would be helpful for you to criticize or is the text form fine enough?
Plea for an Epiphany
Grant me this gift I wish for in dreams that lay
Like streams of grey,
Along these paths I've followed.
Years spent stepping carefully
In footsteps not quite my size even and yet,
I attempt to make
Not an imprint.
Hollowed eyes stare
From the pictures I take
No longer disconnected
And dull full moons,
Dark as untouched surfaces.
Grant me this gift I wish for in
Life; a power and
Force greater than the cosmic winds
Keeping strung together universe so tight;
enough to see light in creases
Of our own distinct fingertips.
Beauty, is in the eye of the beholder
And i cherish this fact,
Comfort bringing in nights
Minds won't stay sleeping and feelings eat
At orange embers once
Our faith.
I see time
Slip by, like the snowflakes
Melting down her cheek.
I want to be that free!
Like water flow from Earth's ends
Through skies and back,
Having nothing to say of its experience
But that worth and weight
In this unreal place wrought with
plastic surgery, red tape, and inconceivable hate.
I don't hate much at all,
And yet ideas find me
And growl in my ear things
I don't hear
Take over my heart
Like worms in the dead.
Lay new soil,
Let it be spread.
Zoe, February 6, 2013
Comments welcome
Thanks!
Also, do u think a video of me performing the free form poem would be helpful for you to criticize or is the text form fine enough?
Plea for an Epiphany
Grant me this gift I wish for in dreams that lay
Like streams of grey,
Along these paths I've followed.
Years spent stepping carefully
In footsteps not quite my size even and yet,
I attempt to make
Not an imprint.
Hollowed eyes stare
From the pictures I take
No longer disconnected
And dull full moons,
Dark as untouched surfaces.
Grant me this gift I wish for in
Life; a power and
Force greater than the cosmic winds
Keeping strung together universe so tight;
enough to see light in creases
Of our own distinct fingertips.
Beauty, is in the eye of the beholder
And i cherish this fact,
Comfort bringing in nights
Minds won't stay sleeping and feelings eat
At orange embers once
Our faith.
I see time
Slip by, like the snowflakes
Melting down her cheek.
I want to be that free!
Like water flow from Earth's ends
Through skies and back,
Having nothing to say of its experience
But that worth and weight
In this unreal place wrought with
plastic surgery, red tape, and inconceivable hate.
I don't hate much at all,
And yet ideas find me
And growl in my ear things
I don't hear
Take over my heart
Like worms in the dead.
Lay new soil,
Let it be spread.
Zoe, February 6, 2013
Comments welcome
is there any background you can give for the meaning behind this poem?
