Is this a common personality trait in INTP's?

[EmergingAlbert]

Hey guys...I'm back! I know I haven't posted in months...I guess I haven't had much to share. I'd been quite occupied by school too, but now I've finally graduated, so I have plenty of time on my hands now!

Anyway, I was wondering if this was a common personality trait among INTP's. I know that we tend to be less emotional than the feeling types. However, I think I have just as strong emotions as anyionbody else, but I just have a complete disconnect between my emotions and my actions. Basically, my emotions are completely unreadable. The only way you can really know how I'm feeling is by asking me. I mean, there are exceptions, but those are usually when I'm feeling a really strong emotion. I smile when I laugh or when I'm extremely happy, but not when I'm just content or cheerful, for example.

I sometimes think this is a good thing and sometimes think it's bad. It's good in situations when I'm feeling a negative emotion around other people. If I'm angry, I don't want to flip out and take it out on someone else, so my lack of reaction is a good thing. On the other hand, if I'm happy around someone, it can be bad if someone thinks I'm bored or something when I'm really not.

What do y'all think? Do you have this same trait? If so, do you see it as more of a good or bad thing?

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I think almost everybody has the same trait. It's pretty normal, hah. I do understand what you mean though, I guess the threshold for actually showing emotion might be a little higher for INTPs. Someone told me a while ago I always look neutral, until I suddenly completely laugh my ass off or become quite angry. Oh well.

But I don't think INTPs are extremely unusual in this aspect. If everybody would be smiling and laughing like a maniac when they were just 'content' the world would be pretty fucked up.

My advice is: Don't try to INTP-ize everything you do. Often it is just normal, and even ESFJs would behave that way. It's really easy to fall into the trap of explaining EVERYTHING you and others do through MBTI.

 

[sammael]

I can speak only for myself, but I have come to the belief that I don't feel emotion(s) as strongly as many people appear to. Of course emotion is still there, but there seems to be something between me and it. The best way I can describe it is that emotion is distant, almost detached, and fades quite quickly. I don't know if this is an effect of having an extremely rational mind, or not.

As for expression of emotion, I find that emotionally I am almost always level, and variation from this baseline is only ever very minor. It is perhaps something I would change if I could, it would be nice to experience more depth, but I am happy with the way I am. This does lead to me being particularly inexpressive, both physically and verbally. Anyway, it fits the profile that we are this way, although of course there will be variances.

Being this way has both positives and negatives, as was pointed out. We can learn to be more expressive, I think this is especially important for relationships with the ones we really care about. We can become conscious of this and change, that's what I try to focus on.

 

[Dapper Dan]

But I don't think INTPs are extremely unusual in this aspect. If everybody would be smiling and laughing like a maniac when they were just 'content' the world would be pretty fucked up.

Some people really are like that, though. They are completely open with their emotions, and every little thing around them will garner a reaction. At first, I thought these people were all faking. But I only thought that because I would have to be faking to act that way.

Eventually I realized the truth. People are different.

 

[EmergingAlbert]

My advice is: Don't try to INTP-ize everything you do. Often it is just normal, and even ESFJs would behave that way. It's really easy to fall into the trap of explaining EVERYTHING you and others do through MBTI.

Good point, DT. I do tend to put too much stock into MBTI and forget that there's much more to the human personality than those four letters. However, I don't think EVERYONE is like this. I know lots of people who express their emotions more than I do...in fact, I'd say about 99% of everyone I know is more expressive than me. But again, that may have more to do with my upbringing than my INTP-ness.

I guess the reason I've been thinking about this a lot lately is because of an incident that I had with my ENFP girlfriend the other day when helping her move. We were moving the couch, and I accidentally dropped it on her foot. I felt terrible, but she got really mad at me for not apologizing and accused me of not feeling any empathy. I basically told her that FEELING empathy and EXPRESSING empathy are two very different things. So that would be an example of when my lack of emotional expression would be a bad thing. She's just always telling me about how impossible I am to read and such, but she also forgets that she is OVER-expressive and is practically incapable of hiding any sort of emotion, so I'm basically her complete opposite in that matter.

 

[Auburn]

What do y'all think? Do you have this same trait? If so, do you see it as more of a good or bad thing?

Depression can lead a lot of people to exhibit apparent "INTP" traits.

For instance, Introversion. A lot of depressed extroverts will seem like introverts, especially if they're chronically depressed. Simply being withdrawn from society means little -- and any type can withdraw from society for a plethora of different reasons.

Secondly, Thinking. Another thing that often happens under stress or ill situations is people become emotional "shut-down". Again, this can happen to any type but generally people who are emotionally shut-down type as "Thinkers" - because their thoughts turn inward to more sorrowful places, and they don't relate to the black and white MBTI questions such as: Are you warm and caring?

Thirdly, Perciever. This is typically understood as being disorganized and lazy. Once again, this is something any type can exhibit. When someone becomes depressed they usually heavily neglect their environment and themselves. If this happens for long enough they cease to see it as anything odd -- yet these people are not P types, but gripped-up J types.

Those don't describe a real INTP at all. A real INTP will actually be very different from that, and you'd know the difference when you saw one.



TL; DR - - If those traits you associate to INTP are stemming from your personal situation, it is not possible to know whether they are due to those circumstances or something innate to your personality.

 

[BigApplePi]

Suppose I divide myself into things I need or want to do versus things I want to decide about doing. If I want to decide or evaluate, I'm thinking about it and I'm not ready to feel or there is no need to feel anything other than the desire to see what's what. On the other hand if there is an urgency to do something and I want to do it very much, emotion comes in handy and eases the process.

Doing is not thinking. Thinking is not doing. It just so happens I prefer to think unless I have a new and exciting project which is the exception rather than the rule.

Now being an introvert, most other people I should bump into are doing something else. They do not want to know what I'm thinking and if I were to react to them, there would be a conflict. So I'm going to keep my emotions to myself. Got that? Now don't bug me no more unless you are thinking what I'm thinking. Then we can share something and I think I would like that.

 

[BigApplePi]

INTP?

Introversion - Leave me alone. I'm doing my thing.
Intuition - The truth is general. Things which are narrow and don't last are no good.
Thinking - Feeling takes me to the wrong place and means trouble.
Perception - I don't want to be dragged over there. Can't you see if you go there you have failed to go here and here and here and why not?

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I guess the reason I've been thinking about this a lot lately is because of an incident that I had with my ENFP girlfriend the other day when helping her move. We were moving the couch, and I accidentally dropped it on her foot. I felt terrible, but she got really mad at me for not apologizing and accused me of not feeling any empathy. I basically told her that FEELING empathy and EXPRESSING empathy are two very different things. So that would be an example of when my lack of emotional expression would be a bad thing. She's just always telling me about how impossible I am to read and such, but she also forgets that she is OVER-expressive and is practically incapable of hiding any sort of emotion, so I'm basically her complete opposite in that matter.

Ah yeah, I recognize that definitely. You're definitely not alone in that.

Every type feels as much empathy as every other type probably. Just in different ways.

 

[BigApplePi]

I guess the reason I've been thinking about this a lot lately is because of an incident that I had with my ENFP girlfriend the other day when helping her move. We were moving the couch, and I accidentally dropped it on her foot. I felt terrible, but she got really mad at me for not apologizing and accused me of not feeling any empathy. I basically told her that FEELING empathy and EXPRESSING empathy are two very different things. So that would be an example of when my lack of emotional expression would be a bad thing. She's just always telling me about how impossible I am to read and such, but she also forgets that she is OVER-expressive and is practically incapable of hiding any sort of emotion, so I'm basically her complete opposite in that matter.

Here is some unsolicited and uncalled for advice:

The task is to develop the weak Fe. (INTPs are weak on Fe = extroverted emotion.) If she is feeling all over the place and you were to think, "I would do well to express an apology to her", it would ease her foot anguish. She wouldn't have to know you thought about it and were emotionally reluctant to express it. She would calm her emotion and broaden your thinking.

In addition, another INTP weakness is Si (Introverted sensation.) You would keep a hurt foot to yourself. She wouldn't and doesn't.

How's that?

Afterthought. I just looked up ENFP. I'm a little unsure now.

 

[Zionoxis]

I think I feel just like anyone else. I don't know but I have recently been told I do not seem very expressive (though i try to put a mask as a happy person on). I guess my emotions are not as easily displayed as I thought.

Anyhow, I tend to think of this as a weakness just because of how I feel about other shy types. I tend to fight it within myself, not sure about others here.

 

[buzzdml]

Haha yes, I don't emote. I have to say I really like what BigApplePi wrote on this one. Maybe, if I am smellin what you're cookin. When something does happen that would cause me to show an emotion, I usually process whatever it was before acting on it. Before that process, the event was neutral, during the process, I am not concerned with the event so much as with the analysis of it (a completely different thing), and after the process I don't really care anymore. People learn not to expect much besides this.

When I do show emotion, it is usually empathizing with people from a distance. Up close, I analyse the situation logically too much to want to spend time letting the feeling take over. But watching a movie or hearing a sad story about someone, I allow myself to put on their shoes and understand enough to care, which is saying something. These escapes are a great form of entertainment...

Next time you drop a couch on somebody's foot, maybe show that saying sorry isn't as valuable as showing sorry, especially if it comes in the form of a foot massage or something practical.

 

[Roran]

This "trait" you're talking about is called "self-control".

 

[EmergingAlbert]

This "trait" you're talking about is called "self-control".

Haha! I love that! I should totally tell my girlfriend that the next time she complains :-P