Is there a moral obligation to be nice?

[Jennywocky]

I gotta say, solicitors and telemarketers is where my niceness never quite engages.

It used to, but after 25 years of that crap, I've seen how it plays out; they don't have respect for my time (generally), and I don't see the need to play supernice. That's how I end up on the phone for 15 minutes or late to get somewhere else, just because I can't just hang up and "be rude" -- as they aren't being respectful of my time to begin with.

Now I'll just say, "Sorry, I'm not interested, thanks," sometimes cutting them off to do so, and then hang up or leave before they even say goodbye. In my experience, if I give a solicitor any inch of space, he uses it to try to wedge the door back open again.

 

[TimeAsylums]

I gotta say, solicitors and telemarketers is where my niceness never quite engages.

It used to, but after 25 years of that crap, I've seen how it plays out; they don't have respect for my time (generally), and I don't see the need to play supernice. That's how I end up on the phone for 15 minutes or late to get somewhere else, just because I can't just hang up and "be rude" -- as they aren't being respectful of my time to begin with.

Now I'll just say, "Sorry, I'm not interested, thanks," sometimes cutting them off to do so, and then hang up or leave before they even say goodbye. In my experience, if I give a solicitor any inch of space, he uses it to try to wedge the door back open again.

Haha you're too nice, Jenny. Goddamn people calling my cellphone because whatever company sold it out to them, not my desire for them to be calling me...ever. As soon as I get a "Hi..this is/are you interested in" I immediately hit end.

I'm pretty sure it's a rumor that the NSA regulates sent out text messages/random calls regularly to combat cellphone bombs. Srs.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

There's no moral code, but practically speaking the sign reads "Don't be a dick" and one can effectively do what you do "good thanks," only with a smile, and be a non-douche.

People seek validation. You refuse to give it to them with your words which are free. Why?

Free words are hollow?

 

[TimeAsylums]

Free words are hollow?

vs. talk is cheap

 

[Perfectly Normal Beast]

Free words are hollow?

vs. talk is cheap

Isn't it more like

Talk is cheap and therefore hollow?

 

[TimeAsylums]

Isn't it more like

Talk is cheap and therefore hollow?

The interpretation would lie in the beholder and receiver.
Those who desire the talk wouldn't find it hollow, it has meaning to them, even if insignificant to the beholder. And if it is cheap, and therefore possibly inexpensive, why not give that little meaning.

I'm just paraphrasing Hado's original post now lol.

 

[Perfectly Normal Beast]

The interpretation would lie in the beholder and receiver.
Those who desire the talk wouldn't find it hollow, it has meaning to them, even if insignificant to the beholder. And if it is cheap, and therefore possibly inexpensive, why not give that little meaning.

I'm just paraphrasing Hado's original post now lol.

I get that, it's just i find it rather a costly/draining effort, to the point where i often feel my lack of enthusiasm/giving a fuck are blatantly obvious and it would be better if i hadn't bothered in the first place.
Is it better to be (politely) dismissive or insincerely 'nice'?

Actually, i waitressed for a few years as a student and preferred customers who were basically civil minus the bullshit pleasantries.

 

[ummidk]

^ Guess it depends on how motivated you are to act nicely, your ability to act, your conversation partner, your intentded outcome, etc etc etc

Goes back to no such thing as a "moral obligation"

 

[Perfectly Normal Beast]

I just can't resist posting this here:
From Douglas Adams - The Deeper Meaning of Liff - a dictionary of things that there aren't any words for yet.

Clabby (adj.)
A 'clabby' conversation is one struck up by a commisionaire or cleaning lady in order to avoid any further actual work. The opening gambit is usually designed to provoke the maximum confusion, and therefore the longest possible clabby conversation. It is vitally important to learn the correct use of 'clixby', the response to a clabby gambit, and not to get trapped by a 'ditherington'. For instance, if confronted by a clabby gambit such as 'Oh Mr Smith, I didn't know you'd had your leg off', the ditherington response is 'I haven't...' whereas the clixby is 'Good'.

Clixby (adj.)
Politely rude. Briskly vague. Firmly uninformative.

Ditherington (n.)
Sudden access of panic experienced by one who realizes that he is being drawn inexorably into a clabby conversation, i.e. one he has no hope of enjoying, benefitting from or understanding.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

vs. talk is cheap

Isn't it more like

Talk is cheap and therefore hollow?

But... talk isn't cheap. It is when it comes to rhetorical calls to action when contrasted with action, but not in interaction. It's simply a different currency.

 

[TimeAsylums]

But... talk isn't cheap. It is when it comes to rhetorical calls to action when contrasted with action, but not in interaction. It's simply a different currency.

Oh, splitting hairs then? Obviously we are differentiating here between "rhetorical calls to action" and "real talk."

 

[Hawkeye]

I've worked behind a bar for years and I've noticed that certain people treat me like garbage simply because I am a barman. They come to the conclusion that because I work behind a bar, I am somehow a lesser being as it's a low paid, dead-end job, i.e., it requires no academic skill and therefore I must be an idiot.

Nobody is obliged to be nice to others, but it's foolish not to be. Being nice has benefits that far outweigh those attributed to being a dick.

The way see it is to treat others how you would expect to be treated.

Customers that treat me like crap simply receive a crap service.