So I have grown and experienced more and I have some questions/ thoughts.
This is linked to this threads point.
So I have for a long time now had this huge anger issue that I avoid and keep waaaay down deep. In highschool I learned my physical warning signs I was getting mad, and I havent felt it come up in a long time and i sort of learned what triggers it. Confrontation, physical or verbal, It makes me feel very violent. Not I want to win, not I want to show them, but I want to kill them and make it very painful. A long time ago I learned how bad it was and learned to get out of dodge when I feel it come up, because I know I could kill someone laughing the whole time. (I grew up in a rather crazy abusive household) I know this cant be normal or ok because it scares me too, the question is, because this is a knee jerk instant reaction, how can I really improve? I think if someone actually hit me I would just lose it instantly and try to murder them on the spot, what am i to do? I never really thought about it too much, I guess I thought this was normal, but thinking back... no
Am I a mental case or what
this is why I sold my shotgun and will never allow myself to get drunk, or high
how do you warn someone without sounding completely crazy
The autism suggestion from way back when is sounding very accurate. It runs in my family and I have been told by a mother of an aspergers child that I have it.
Sorry for the grammar
Also dont read my old posts I was retarded