Is modesty important?

[Jake]

I'm a pretty modest person when it comes to my intelligence. I don't hide it when I know something, but I don't brag about how smart I am if the situation doesn't call for it. I just shrug when people congratulate me for acing a test. When I was younger, I wasn't as smart and I was also arrogant. I dropped my attitude when my dad pointed out that people see you as smarter if you're humble at the same time. Am I alone in this attempt to impress others through modesty? Am I just trying to live up to my dad's example? Or do INTPs in general tend toward modesty?

Edit: What bothers me is that I find myself resenting other people who aren't as humble, who brag a little but not in an obnoxious way. I know it's irrational to judge these people for being proud of their accomplishments, but I just feel superior for some reason because I am more reserved than they are. I don't want to end up becoming arrogant...about not being arrogant.

 

[Milo]

I think modesty is quite common among most people. Those who are not modest enough are usually picked off by a social natural selection--or appear in small packs of savages trying to outdo each other.

 

[BigApplePi]

What bothers me is that I find myself resenting other people who aren't as humble, who brag a little but not in an obnoxious way. I know it's irrational to judge these people for being proud of their accomplishments, but I just feel superior for some reason because I am more reserved than they are. I don't want to end up becoming arrogant...about not being arrogant.

They are drawing attention. You aren't. What about envy?

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Modesty... you're doing it right. I'd say you're supposed to be modest with anything involving ascribed authority; anything based on a label, which includes "you."

You shouldn't be modest with information or achieved authority. The truth stands on its own. Basically, "Don't respect me because I'm me, respect me because I'm right/what I say is true."

I think this applies to humanity in general, not just a specific MBTI type.

*EDIT: Addressing the edit:

What bothers me is that I find myself resenting other people who aren't as humble, who brag a little but not in an obnoxious way. I know it's irrational to judge these people for being proud of their accomplishments, but I just feel superior for some reason because I am more reserved than they are. I don't want to end up becoming arrogant...about not being arrogant.

Even "a little" contains some small degree of obnoxiousness. This is exactly what you take advantage of when you're speaking/pursuing the truth: other people's perceptions of those who aren't humble. You're not the only one who observes others being obnoxious. Truth allows you to team up, in a way.

The solution is to stop being reserved in that way.

 

[SandMizzle]

Am I alone in this attempt to impress others through modesty?

I guess in some way I am guilty of it. On the other hand I don't really feel the need to talk about my achievements, if not asked, and I also get no sense of pleasure if someone gratulates me for it. So I think there is just no need for me to be arrogant rather than a need to feel superior through modesty. But I have to admit that I admire modesty in general, and that for I try to live up to my convictions.

Edit: What bothers me is that I find myself resenting other people who aren't as humble, who brag a little but not in an obnoxious way. I know it's irrational to judge these people for being proud of their accomplishments, but I just feel superior for some reason because I am more reserved than they are. I don't want to end up becoming arrogant...about not being arrogant.

In short: You just like your way of thinkig/acting? What's wrong about that? Sure I feel good for doing things I support and modesty is one of them.
But I have to recognize that I know your last sentence pretty well and I've spent hours thinking about it... and being aware of your "problem" seems to be part of the solution.

 

[Moocow]

I was modest once, in a sort of general way. I think I stopped because it felt like a constant push of insincerity. I don't spend all of my time doing something just to tell people I'm bad at it. That'd just be stupid. People react to modesty with contempt or suspicion anyways.

Just being modest about things you should rightfully be modest about, like starting a new job or meeting someone you can presume nothing about is sufficient but anything past that could rightfully evoke suspicion of insincerity.

 

[Jake]

I realized it could also have something to do with second-guessing myself, as INTPs are prone to do. I don't want to claim I'm good at something because I'm afraid I might make a mistake and look stupid for being too confident. For instance I'll usually be pretty stressed before an exam whereas my friends are confident, then I'll either score the same or better than them, even though I worried a lot more beforehand.

 

[juansk]

Its important that you're humble towards new experiences/ideas. But sometimes you have to stick to your guns when you know you're right, and believing in you is some kind of lack of modesty, a healthy one.
As someone said above, "Don't respect me because I'm me, respect me because I'm right/what I say is true".

Do what it takes to do what's right. e.g. House MD

 

[DrGregoryHouse]

"MODESTY:

1. the quality of not being too proud or confident about yourself or your abilities
2. the quality of behaving and especially dressing in ways that do not attract sexual attention"

thoughts on 1) modesty would allow for humility (teachable-ness). Yes, modesty would be a prerequisite to learning and progressing. Without it one would not be able to learn or progress

thoughts on 2) yes. Males are hardwired to fixate on anything remotely sexual. Yes, some females who are the exception to the rule, too of course. Since human beings who possess aspirations for approaching the divine (as opposed to relegating themselves to the level of Chimp and/or local barnyard animal) find the over-sexualization of existence repulsive: yes modesty is vital to advancing to holier spheres. Over-sexualization also, and perhaps more importantly, presents a danger for children in any given society.

 

[HDINTP]

I would put it this way: I would not say I am modest. I just know my truth and shut up. I never show my truly maximal potential when there is no need to do so. I think I can be arrogant sometimes but what I know is that people around me think that I am modest and sometimes even that I have low self-esteem. I think it is caused by my laid-back attitude mostly but in the same time I think that I am aware of my abilities a lot but do not see the need to demonstrate them. I also always listen to views of other people and plug them in to think about them so it is not me thinking that I am the best and ignoring others. I do not see need to compare myself to others. That is how it is with me and modesty...

 

[EditorOne]

"I don't want to claim I'm good at something because I'm afraid I might make a mistake and look stupid for being too confident."

This is the sensible reason many people are modest.

As for those who boast: I don't know about you, but I tend to paint a mental target on them and bide my time to shoot them down in the area of boastfulness.

I'm sure it's a character flaw on my part.

 

[Jake]

Well I always stick to my guns when it comes to arguing the truth, but I don't see that as not being modest. When I debate, it's not about being confident in myself, it's about being confident in what is obviously true. I guess I'm only modest academically.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Modesty isn't important...it's just like any other personality trait. It has its place, with positives and negatives.

 

[Vrecknidj]

Sometimes it's important, sometimes it's not. The circumstances matter.

 

[NormannTheDoorman]

Only when the situation calls for it.

 

[Minuend]

It's somewhat difficult to say something accurate as different people have different associations and interpretations as to what modesty actually entails. But generally it can be good to remember that out there, people exist who consider your thinking and reasoning as limited and redundant as you consider people below yourself.