Introspection

[Chad]

I have to say this is one of my favorite hobbies.

Its might sound kind of weird but I only know so much about my motivations and personality. This is what attracted me to MBTI. First I was mildly interested by a random test I ran into on line. This test said that I could be classified as INTP and then went even father and spelled out a near biography of my life.

This sparked a desire inside to not only understand myself but to understand my motivations and why I do and live my life the way I do.

I have a strong desire to live a perfect life but not in the same way an S type might think. I don't believe that there is a set idea for perfection. I believe that the idea is fluid and changes moment by moment depending on myself and my environment. However, I realized that the fist step of living a perfect life is 1. Accepting that have made mistakes.
2. Realizing what chooses I have made correctly and what chooses I have wrong.
3. Figure out the Why.

The fist two steps are easy or easy enough. I have been through a lot in my life and it is easy for me to see were I went wrong in the past. (not always as easy in the moment)

However I believe the key is figuring out why and that is were my personality comes into play. While it doesn't hold all the answers it opens up doors that I haven't seen before.

As time has gone on I realized that both the INTP and the ENTP profile were able to shed light on my mistakes and why I habitually fallowed into the same traps time and time again in my life.

Some may argue that I can't be both INTP and ENTP. However, I think the point is mute. Even if it isn't possible in the Theoretical MBTI Its doesn't change the fact that my modified theory still gives me practical guidance in my life that is the whole reason I started researching MBTI in the first place.

Things I have leaned about myself so far.

I am not arrogant (I.E. someone you believes and says that they are superior to others in any way). I am just a loud mouth who enjoys sharing my understand of everything. I am not always right but I still love to share it. To most people this comes across as arrogant or a belief that I know more then they do. However, I may or may not know more then the next person. I just say more then them.

I love being by myself and my own quiet times. They are often the highlights of my day however I am not an Introvert. I don't need solitude I just enjoy it. I was raised in a family of 9 children, which taught me the value of privacy and space. This by no means makes me an Extrovert. I like people and I don't shy away form strangers or large groups. However, I don't need them or seek them out, when I meet people I just meet them. People don't take energy from me like some descriptions describe Introversion, however I don't gain energy by being with other people either. I am indifferent.

I have learned that I do have some rather powerful emotions and my rational mind has been built up almost for the pure purpose of putting a leash on my uncontrollable emotional stats. I fear my own emotions but even that is an emotion that I mask with my intellect. This has always been the part of the INTP profile I related to the most. I am detached not because I want to be as much is I am afraid of what I would be without my detachment. I have very little control over how I feel therefore I have chosen logically to stay away form emotional choices. (This choice was made by my subconscious as a child and while I am sure it was the perfect choice I still impressed with my subconscious. I believe it was a far better choice then letting my emotions control my life like they did in my early childhood). As I have aged I have become more and more detached form my emotions however, now I have to reach some maturity in my emotions due to the fact that I am in a commuted marriage.

My life goals are simple. I want to learn, see and experience everything (non-emotional). I want to see how it all fits together. Then I want to share this knowledge with anyone/thing that cares to listen. I like finding the invisible threads of logic that hold even the most obscure things together like.
My personal Christian Faith relates Logic and Science.
The Imaginary relates to reality.
Fear relates to nothing/nothingness.
I relate to the people around me.
The past relates to the future.
Time relates to space.
Wrong relates to right.
Good relates to Evil.
Math relates to language.
The Moon relates to Crime.

I could go on and on. The truth is the more I learn the more I am convinced that everything is connected you just have to look for the thread.

The last thing I know about myself is that I am no ones responsibility. As a child I grew up with an older brother that form an outside perspective looked like the perfect child. However, inside of him was a monster. He became a Pedophile at a young age and pathological lair. Worse yet he was really good at being evil on the inside and shining purity on the outside. However, one thing he was never capable of doing was taking responsibility for any of his many miss deeds even after they became known. He always knew how to spin the truth so that it was always someone else's fault that he was such a screwed up kid. The one thing I learned watching his mistakes was that the best way to screw up my life was to blame someone else for my mistakes.

I was not the perfect child growing up. However, I never blamed anyone else for my mistakes and I always accepted the consequences of my bad choices. This has made me into a stronger person today.

Now if I could only stop making mistakes my life would be perfect. Not the fallow all the rules perfect but a make the right choices even if the rules don't fit perfect.

Wisdom I lack, but I am getting better.

Is Introspection a huge part of your life?
What are some of your introspection that you wouldn't mind sharing?
Do you believe that MBTI can help the process of Introspection?
Do you believe Introspection can help you live a better life (however, you would like to live it)?

 

[redbaron]

Do you like daggers?

 

[Chad]

Do you like daggers?

More of a swords guy myself but I do own some daggers. I like ornate ones though. I am not a huge fan of plane daggers.

Why do you ask?

 

[Chad]

No, one wishes to indulge in some introspection with me.

I guess I will have to try again latter.

 

[Ink]

I just do introspection, I wouldn't classify it as a hobby.

 

[GigglyGoo]

I enjoy it too.

It does however sometimes feel like a burden. My journey started of similarly to yours. I came across an online 'quiz' that typed me as an ENFJ. Whilst reading the description I remember feeling shocked at how well the description fit. I was 16 at the time and it was a turning point, discovering myself during my identity crisis teen years, it paved the path that has led to who I am now.

I agree with your opinion on 'the perfect life', I would add at to it, in first place 1) To be constantly aware of what I feeling/thinking.

I don't like making mistakes, but they are amongst the best lessons in life. I feel if I have a deeper understanding of everything I will be less likely to make them. However I am not afraid to make them, so long as I do not repeat them.

MBTI does help an individual to become introspective, it allows you to be more aware of you may previously have just 'known' and puts into a more concrete format.

Introspection is a huge part of my life and it has made me a better person, as an individual I believe I am capable of a lot more than one who isn't. It makes you stronger and enhances your outlook on life.

 

[Chad]

I agree with your opinion on 'the perfect life', I would add at to it, in first place 1) To be constantly aware of what I feeling/thinking.

I agree however the feeling half of the feeling/thinking equation is difficult for me.

Not because I lack emotions but because my emotions are often random and extreme and hard to pin down. Therefor in a unconscious/conscious attempt to preserve my own sanity I generally try to avoid all negative emotions and instead, I try to Analise away what is negative and cling to uplifting feelings.

 

[DelusiveNinja]

I write in composition book about why I make the decisions I make, evaluating the possible outcomes that could have occurred if I had done something else. I can call that a hobby but I only do when I am bored in school, or before and after I have to make a decision that takes a lot of thought. I also try to evaluate emotional response to situations at school but those end up being rants about nonsense. I don't normally do it outside of school because I am always in the house where there isn't much to take note off.

 

[GigglyGoo]

I agree however the feeling half of the feeling/thinking equation is difficult for me.

Not because I lack emotions but because my emotions are often random and extreme and hard to pin down. Therefor in a unconscious/conscious attempt to preserve my own sanity I generally try to avoid all negative emotions and instead, I try to Analise away what is negative and cling to uplifting feelings.

You are right and that's close enough!
Sifting through every emotion/feeling is what also makes me curse this introspective nature, it gets too much, even for feelers. It's too intense, so if you can get a handle on things which you have done that's great!

As for myself, I still need to figure out how far to go, when to go all out and when to leave it be.

 

[Brontosaurie]

introspac

infrospelt

itroslept

...

 

[Void]

(..)
The Moon relates to Crime.
(..)

wat


as for introspection, this always happens to me when I try to sleep and my mind goes racing.

 

[Chad]

wat


as for introspection, this always happens to me when I try to sleep and my mind goes racing.

Its a statistical truth that crime increases during a full moon.

However, there is no proof of environmental or biological reason for this.

Its an interesting paradox. That is all I been saying.