INTP ways to cool down

[Pyropyro]

I guess surviving Supertyphoon Rammasun has taken a toll on me and my worklife. While I did survive the storm, its damage seriously hampered my work. Imagine being at the office for two days without electricity and Internet. You only watch helplessly as more and more work piles up.

Today, the power and Internet supplies are back online. Unfortunately, the agencies that I work with have no concept of force majeure and all our deadlines still stands as if the storm never happened. I can't just quit since the tech we're working with has the potential to avoid deaths due to such natural disasters and my boss is also working themselves to their limit.

I blew my top earlier today when a researcher, whose ass we're saving from legal and administrative sanctions, aren't available to provide the necessary information to finish a report that we need to file tomorrow. I yelled at the research staff at the other end of the line saying that if they won't cough up the information then everybody loses.

My boss waited for me to simmer a bit and asked me to be nicer next time since even those people are up to their necks as well. They said that I should project a cheerful tone even if I'm seething inside (Unfortunately, I can't do that. How can you do that?) They also shared some shrimp during lunch to help me calm down although I'm still tense.

Any tips for cooling down?

Anyways, I'm taking my mandatory chill pill.

 

[Perfectly Normal Beast]

if something is within your control then stay calm and do something about it. if it is beyond your control what function does being angry serve?

anger is (almost always) useless and unproductive and is therefore illogical. if you accept this as true you should find it easy to avoid.

if you feel rage rising despite that then learn to laugh at the absurdity of life/yourself.

not trolling in case that's not clear.

 

[Pyropyro]

if something is within your control then stay calm and do something about it. if it is beyond your control what function does being angry serve?

It's technically out of my control. Perhaps that's the problem, given ample time and resources I can handle this issue. But life just expect too much especially after dealing with a storm.

anger is (almost always) useless and unproductive and is therefore illogical. if you accept this as true you should find it easy to avoid.

It has its uses but yeah, it's bad on the long run.

if you feel rage rising despite that then learn to laugh at the absurdity of life/yourself.

Yeah, I'll just laugh at Absurdity instead Oddly we usually laugh after surviving Supertyphoons. Heck even my sister who's own family just got running water and electricity after five days is more cheerful than I am. Guess I'll just have to give up my Filipino card.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

My boss waited for me to simmer a bit and asked me to be nicer next time since even those people are up to their necks as well. They said that I should project a cheerful tone even if I'm seething inside (Unfortunately, I can't do that. How can you do that?) They also shared some shrimp during lunch to help me calm down although I'm still tense.

Any tips for cooling down?

Anyways, I'm taking my mandatory chill pill.

It is a very positive thing that you care about the outcome of your work and that's it.

When the outcome of your work starts to depend on external resources, you should realise how things become conditional, rather than dependent on your input.

Maybe it seems wrong, but why would you be enraged at a person living in a different perspective, not having enough information to properly judge, whether your task is the top priority for that person and why would it be.

How to cool down? Rationalise the situation you are in and try to imagine someone else's situation and their predicament, which could be similar to yours.

The other thing if you cannot rationalise the process, withhold yourself until you can rationalise normally again, combat the stress/anxiety with time. Simply, if you feel uncontrollable anger, it's not the best course of action to deal with people like that, emotions like these are contagious and have negative effects.

 

[Pyropyro]

It is a very positive thing that you care about the outcome of your work and that's it.

When the outcome of your work starts to depend on external resources, you should realise how things become conditional, rather than dependent on your input.

Yeah, the higher you climb the more things become out of your control

Maybe it seems wrong, but why would you be enraged at a person living in a different perspective, not having enough information to properly judge, whether your task is the top priority for that person and why would it be.

Because if they mess up, it will cost them their academic careers.

How to cool down? Rationalise the situation you are in and try to imagine someone else's situation and their predicament, which could be similar to yours.

Yeah, I really need to stabilize Ti-Ne.

The other thing if you cannot rationalise the process, withhold yourself until you can rationalise normally again, combat the stress/anxiety with time. Simply, if you feel uncontrollable anger, it's not the best course of action to deal with people like that, emotions like these are contagious and have negative effects.

Guess I really need a long night's sleep. Maybe I'll do better tomorrow.

 

[Minuend]

Humour, yes. Also being honest with co-workers about being frustrated. But give them some understanding/ slack. Don't blame them, that will backfire. Some will agree with your frustrations, being heard usually makes one calm down a bit. Ask if there's anything you can do to help the broken link getting fixed. Talk with higher ups if messages are ignored.

And last; You can only do so much and then it's out of your hands. If all goes to shit, then it's not your responsibility

 

[Architect]

Getting away from people works for me. Just let it self dissipate.

 

[TBerg]

Meditate or play a video game or pursue a fun interest long enough to find a new vantage point. Then you will be able to see more than the pile of shit you were just handed.

 

[StevenM]

Define what is the worst to happen. Would it really be as bad as you make it out to be? Also see if you are thinking or believing something that may be irrational.

Example (And only an example, because I don't know the specifics)

Worst scenario: I don't finish the report on time.
How bad is it? How much will it impact your life?
An example of some irrational thinking: "If I don't finish my report on time, then I'm incompetent"

To me, your going over and beyond the best that you can do. And I'm sure your more than capable at your job and many other things. So if you didn't get the report done on time, then what would happen then? Would you eventually get an extension? Would you make your employer/clients mad? Really, what would you have done differently? You already went over and beyond the best that you could do, the circumstances were beyond your control. If people are upset, that is their issue, that's their problem, not yours.

Regardless of what anyone else's expectations are, the fact of the matter is that things may not be finished in a timely manner, and it has nothing to do with your level or qualifications.

I also wouldn't feel ashamed of being angry. Anger is a part of every single person on the planet, and being angry does not define who you are. Your probably going through too much pressure and stress.

Take extra consideration into your hobbies and things that take your mind off of it.

 

[Pyropyro]

Thanks for the advices guys. I really think I'm asking myself too much and blowing things out of proportion. My boss told me not to take everything all in at once or I'll get burned out fast.

Anyways, I just called the researcher I yelled at yesterday and apologized. Even if it was out of frustration, it is still quite unbecoming of me since I outrank the guy too much for him to defend himself properly. The deadline is still this afternoon but I feel a bit lighter now (or probably because the coffee pot is online now ).

 

[Cavallier]

Oh, ouch. I'm sorry you are going through this. I generally turn tail and bolt for the closest exit if I think I might snap. I know the explosion is coming and I know I'll say or do something I regret. So I remove myself from the situation long enough to breath a little and suck it up.

As I've gotten older I've learned to weather stressful situations more calmly. Realizing that you can only do so much and no more, congratulating everybody around you for the hard work they've put in (if they've put it in) regardless of the project success, and taking a step back to breathe when things get tense can go far to establish calm.

 

[QuickTwist]

4-7-8 breathing method works wonders for me.

Try this.

 

[pjoa09]

find a pull up bar asap