INTP: Social contexts

[Architect]

Sorry, question for INTPs only.

Describe your dominant (preferred) socialization context. Not necessarily what you want to do, but what you do by default. *

This applies to non family member socializing only.

I meant this to be a single choice poll, try to check a single box please.

* I make this distinction because our Fe inferior can throw a monkey wrench into things by making activities seem attractive that still wouldn't be a good fit.

 

[NinjaSurfer]

I voted work
Bc if I don't want to socialize anymore I can just go back to work
Least awkward excuse to stop talking to someone

 

[Architect]

I voted work
Bc if I don't want to socialize anymore I can just go back to work
Least awkward excuse to stop talking to someone

Funny, that is what I checked also. A different conversation here made me realize that I prefer socializing through work. I don't like meeting people over coffee or whatever. Even though it isn't, it seems artificial to me. Adults getting together for dinner is the height of artificial.

At work people are generally authentic and you can get some socialization in small bites.

 

[Solitaire U.]

Definitely work. All my 'extracurricular' social activities revolve around (family and) the people I work with.

 

[Absurdity]

I picked work and conventional social activities.

If I am meeting up with someone it will usually be over drinks or coffee. These are not only conversational stimulants (via alcohol and caffeine, respectively) but are also substances I enjoy imbibing in anyway. This is also one of the few socially acceptable activities when it is okay to meet up with someone you hardly know and sit around for hours talking and getting to know them.

The atmosphere and qualities of a meeting place is also important to me. Last weekend I found a bookstore/bar/coffeeshop all rolled into one and thought I had died and gone to heaven. I took a girl there (suspected INFJ) and had a great time. At the very least, observable qualities and/or quirky denizens of a meeting place can provide a topic of discussion during lulls in the conversation.

I guess the one exception to this would be movies. Movies are an immense source of aesthetic pleasure for me, and I prefer to view them at home, alone. Other people can shatter my immersion in the movie experience by asking questions, laughing too loud, or even shifting their weight. Also, if it is a movie I have recommended to someone, I am usually assessing their reactions to the plot instead of devoting my full attention to the screen. With that being said, if there is a movie out in theaters that I wish to see I will usually drag someone along with me (my close ENFJ friend usually jumps at the chance). Wouldn't want to been one of those weirdos who go to movies alone.

 

[Beholder]

I voted one person and a museum. Truth is I prefer to go to museums alone, but it was the idea I was getting at - just walking and talking to one other person.
Other than that it's getting together with my close group of friends and doing the weird stuff we do (I guess you could call it Common activities and interests)

 

[Architect]

I picked work and conventional social activities.

My fault, I changed my mind on single versus multiple choice but didn't click the right box before submitting, too late to change.

 

[Absurdity]

My fault, I changed my mind on single versus multiple choice but didn't click the right box before submitting, too late to change.

I thought it was very appropriate. I don't think I would have been able to choose just one.

 

[Grove]

I prefer not to socialize with my coworkers outside of work, aside from the occasional night at a bar or holiday get-together. I’ve made exceptions to that rule, but I’ve learned to do that only if there is a strong compatibility with the other person. I guess what I’m saying is that I’ll hang out with my go-workers, but we aren’t going to be BFFs.

 

[YoungGuns]

I can actually seem somewhat to a lot like an extrovert in certain structured settings where I see the same people often. I have gained some level of popularity among a group of friends in school, work, and in scouting (although scouting took forever to build up to since I had very little social skills until I was about 16.) I was the most genuine at work, even/especially compared to being around my family that I'm still living with.

I was fired from work and am no longer active in scouting. When I occasionally come back to visit these places, I am consistently amazed at how well respected and embraced I am; every time I come back to my old job, I get several hugs from older women, which I'm certainly not used to. I can even joke around with the one that fired me.

Outside of these social settings, I am usually completely alone and introverted. I can sometimes be extroverted around certain family members, but I also have to heavily filter myself because my personality, thoughts, and ideas greatly contrast my family's.

 

[A22]

Is online chatting a form of socialization?

 

[DreamMancer]

Typical social activities (going out, dinner, movie, etc). Which I quite enjoy, but I am drained by the end and need to spend the next day pretty much at home recharging.

 

[Architect]

Is online chatting a form of socialization?

Yep. Should have put that in.

Seeing a trend here ...

 

[The Borg]

This is sad. I just noticed that I barely have any contact outside my family, so I guess I should have checked the "what socialization" box. Still, I picked out "hobbies and interests" because I sometimes hang around with political activists when I do their dirty writing work.

 

[NinjaSurfer]

Is online chatting a form of socialization?

If so, then I'm an extravert

 

[Architect]

Well the answer seems clear and is what I would have expected; INTP's prefer to socialize by far in common hobbies and in the workplace.

 

[Polaris]

Work. The rest of the time I prefer to recharge alone.

 

[GweNdZ]

Typical social activities (going out, dinner, movie, etc). Which I quite enjoy, but I am drained by the end and need to spend the next day pretty much at home recharging.

this is exactly me aswell. And I tend to take part in such conventional activities at most once in a month if at all. Otherwise I am at University and would mostly socialise over classes, which are mostly practical classes like drawing etc.

 

[MsAnthropy_Indefatigably]

I suppose I could have picked similar interests and included video games. But I tend to prefer playing them by myself anyway...

 

[Personification]

"Work" and not even then since I study, and that's mostly just seminars, where again communication is entirely optional and can be avoided if I play my cards correctly. Otherwise I avoid being social as much as possible.

 

[ObliviousGenius]

I'd probably prefer work but if I'm socializing it's almost always in the conventional way of going out, parties, etc. Depending on the people there it's not as painful as it used to be. I enjoy myself while I'm out. If I'm not with REALLY good friends it won't be nearly as fun. General acquaintances and friends who I can just identify by face and a few minor conversations don't make socialization much fun.

I can easily be mistaken for an extrovert when I'm around people who I'm very comfortable with, so in that instance the setting doesn't matter as much. I usually play the commenting, witty, charming, jokester whenever I'm in comfortable social situations. Again this is wherever I'm in a social situation. The only reason I'd prefer work is because the environment is more natural as Architect alluded to. I don't like to feel like I'm going somewhere so that I may BE or ACT social.

 

[BigApplePi]

As I think of non-INTP socializing I am terrible at it and hate it. My wife has to drag me out to dinner and has learned not to ask me to go out much. I will though to please her but fortunately(?) she is an introvert also so maybe she socializes even less than I do. Each of us has our own special social things: I checked "other" in the poll as my thing is discussion groups.

I like discussion groups because I chose those who favor N types over S types. When I took this Italy cruise over the last two weeks, very special INTP things were tested and I've yet to absorb what I've learned but I think you guys would be interested. Ask me any Q's about it if you feel like it ... highly relevant to INTP interest I think.

 

[Etheri]

I picked work and conventional social activities.

If I am meeting up with someone it will usually be over drinks or coffee.

Much alike. I'll often go have dinner or drinks with friends. Not just the classy kind of dinner, just student resto's and stuff. Seeing people. And then there's classes, which i'll consider under 'work'. While I do skip many classes, and I won't deny having skipped entire days out of misanthropy, when I do go i'll either intentionally be late (so I sit alone in the back without anyone asking questions), or i'll do the effort to be social with my group of friends. My friends understand that i'm not always 100% social, but do not consider me asocial.

Well the answer seems clear and is what I would have expected; INTP's prefer to socialize by far in common hobbies and in the workplace.

I think the main point is that we are social whenever it is convenient and we feel like it. We'll rarely go out of our way for it. In all honesty -and I might be more social than some of the people here, especially during class weeks-, I do not mind socialising serveral hours a day, I just won't search it either. If they ask me, if they invite me, i'll go. Sometimes, after having been entirely alone for a good while, I'll ask to meet up with people myself.

Another thing I notice in regards to how I am among people : What matters is not where I am, but with who I am. If i'm in a group where I do not know the majority of people / too many people, i'll be silent and withdrawn (or atleast I used to be, It's gotten much better the last years... I learned to speak up?)
If i'm in an equally big group of friends I know well and am comfortable with, one could easily mistake me for an extravert. I'll obviously not manage to keep this up as long as they do (8 hours+ every day), but it doesn't strain me as much as you'd think. However, if you want trust and deeper conversations, i'll always NEED to have a duologue. My favorite and only genuinly trusted set-up. Two people. A friend and I. No more, never any more. A conversation between two people. Private. So much better than groups, even if it's only two friends and you'd trust them both individually with the same things either way. I want to be able to focus and read people's faces, expressions and reactions. Conversing with two people at once is like a threesome,... you get more information, but focussing on two people at once gets complicated quickly.