INTP Site and Discussions

[Cryss Winters]

This information came from this site.

An INTP characterized falling in love as a stage of complete loss of rationality that may last a year or less. When an INTP falls in love, he or she falls hard - an all or nothing phenomenon. At this stage, INTPs are likely to be very lively, almost giddy, in their new love. The experience rushes over them and carries them along. They do not structure or control it but simply enjoy and experience it. They do many loving things and they are curious about their loved one and are able to overlook his or her flaws. They may bravely ignore the realities of distance, weather, and time to be with the loved one.

'Giddy' eh? What do you all think of this? How does your logic explain it? How do you feel when you 'fall' for someone.

 

[Kidege]

*giggles*

Okay, that was out of character.

I've never been in love, but the description is a lot like what happens when I get a new interest. Until it fades.

 

[Cryss Winters]

I've made Kidege giggle! =3

 

[fullerene]

yeah... I'm pretty sure I have to grow to love someone over time, or else I wouldn't even call it love. At least, I'm more concerned with the direction the relationship is going than I am where it is at a certain point. I can't imagine suddenly "losing rationality" about a person and calling it love, though. Love is much too important for that.

 

[Toad]

Yea, I think this has been pointed out in other threads. When an INTP falls in love he/she turns into an ESFP...or a more Feely type of personality.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

We lack the capacity to regulate our emotions, like INTJ we can suppress them under the force of our own will, but once we decide to let ourselves feel we cannot regulate how much we feel.

 

[Cryss Winters]

Nicely put, Cog.

 

[Toad]

We lack the capacity to regulate our emotions, like INTJ we can suppress them under the force of our own will, but once we decide to let ourselves feel we cannot regulate how much we feel.

That is true. But I think that the more we let out our emotions, they better we become at controlling it.

I think the vulcans got it backwards when they try to suppress their emotions to control them. I believe we should always try to let it out and express them, so that we become accustomed to them and learn how to control them that way.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

That would be the method for becoming a INFP.

However I prefer it this way, it seems more honest to me.
Falling in love is not the sort of thing that should be done half heartedly.

 

[fullerene]

I think crabs has a good point. As best as I can tell, emotions only feel like they must be all-or-nothing as long as you're suppressing them.... especially the negative ones. If you have a good few months without too many responsibilities to recover, though, I think you're much better in the long run letting everything through.

I do agree, too, that that seems a whole lot more honest.

 

[Toad]

You prefer it which way?

 

[Artifice Orisit]

The INTP all-or-nothing way.

I deal with negative emotions by containing them until I have an appropriate opportunity to process them, to this purpose video games are very helpful.

 

[echoplex]

How do you feel when you 'fall' for someone.

I feel like I've surrendered to something I knew I would eventually surrender to. It's like a fat guy in a room with a chocolate cake. He can say what he wants but deep down he knows he's gonna eat that cake eventually.

I believe we should eat that cake, you know, when the time is right. And you can't have your cake and eat it too, you just have to eat it. Don't worry, it's a piece of cake. For those with underdeveloped Fe, you can start easy with little cupcakes.

Okay, those are all the cake references. You won't be seeing anymore.

 

[Beat Mango]

The world, in my experience, doesn't react well to the all-or-nothing way. People are frightened when you let it all splurge out, and weirded out when you're all cold. I'm trying to be more balanced with my emotions but it's hard, because, well, it really is all or nothing. It's either all consuming or I feel nothing. I like this girl at the moment and I'm trying to like her just a little bit instead of going nutso over her, and it's very very difficult. Like Cog said, it just doesn't feel honest unless I let it all out, tell her I want to be my girlfriend and other overly romantic gestures and words that would probably be inappropriate given the context.

 

[Cryss Winters]

Thanks echoplex, I'm now hungry! =3

 

[Cryss Winters]

The world, in my experience, doesn't react well to the all-or-nothing way. I'm trying to be more balanced with my emotions but it's hard, because, well, it really is all or nothing. It's either all consuming or I feel nothing. I like this girl at the moment and I'm trying to like her just a little bit instead of going nutso over her, and it's very very difficult. Like Cog said, it just doesn't feel honest unless I let it all out, tell her I want to be my girlfriend and other overly romantic gestures and words that would probably be inappropriate given the context.

I'm right there with you, buddy.

 

[Beat Mango]

I'm right there with you, buddy.

Except overall it's a from me. I know my post sounded whingy, but these days I like just enjoying the ride and seeing what plays out, it's better than not feeling anything and not caring at all which is what I had happening for a while there.

I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that this is how I feel things - there are pluses to it, it's just that the world can react poorly at times.

 

[Cryss Winters]

Except overall it's a from me. I know my post sounded whingy, but these days I like just enjoying the ride and seeing what plays out, it's better than not feeling anything and not caring at all which is what I had happening for a while there.

I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that this is how I feel things - there are pluses to it, it's just that the world can react poorly at times.

Good for you, then.
I'm getting there. lol

 

[Deleted member 1424]

The OP seems highly accurate. Whenever I get emotional (and it's not for someone else's benefit), it's always over the top. If I found someone I was genuinely interested in romantically I could see myself doing this. Though it wouldn't be long before my Ti dragged me kicking and screaming from cloud 9. I couldn't imagine something like that lasting for a whole year.

Does anyone else have sporadic bursts of affection for people you know well, like close friends or family members? Every now and then when I'm lost in thought I will remember some person very fondly. Almost like I just realized how awesome they are. Of course it fades fairly quickly and I don't act on it; but it is random as hell.

 

[snowqueen]

The OP seems highly accurate. Whenever I get emotional (and it's not for someone else's benefit), it's always over the top. If I found someone I was genuinely interested in romantically I could see myself doing this. Though it wouldn't long before my Ti dragged me kicking and screaming from cloud 9. I couldn't imagine something like that lasting for a whole year.

Me too = the OP pretty much describes how I fall in love and I HATE IT!!! In fact I now try to avoid it because it has got me into so much trouble in the past - primarily because I seem to have virtually no ability to judge whether a person is worthy of my great love - and predictably most of them have turned out not to be. I have now made the decision not to have sex with anyone till I've known them for at least 6 months - that should put off the wastrels at the very least - because I think that will give me breathing space to work out if the relationship is likely to last. As you say, Adair - to give time till Ti kicks in and helps me see things a bit more clearly.

Does anyone else have sporadic bursts of affection for people you know well, like close friends or family members? Every now and then when I'm lost in thought I will remember some person very fondly. Almost like I just realized how awesome they are. Of course it fades fairly quickly and I don't act on it; but it is random as hell.

Yes this is exactly how I relate emotionally to my children and my close friends. When it happens, I like to stop and enjoy it because I know it's not a constant feeling and I enjoy it a lot. At other times I feel nearly nothing for my children if I try to 'find' my feeling. I find imagining something bad happening to one of them very quickly reminds me how important they are to me though so I don't think how I 'feel' has much relation to how much I love them.

"love, love is a verb, love is a doing word"

 

[spockguy]

I have felt the exact feelings described, and It was beautiful.

Love-in-itself is transcendental of any commonly held experience in existence. It's the overwhelmingly positive time-bomb of emotions we all have within ourselves, finally secreting its vile toxin, deteriorating logicality, and all which remains is the residue of what can only be surmised as love.

Only once have I fallen in love, and even though it didn't work out, those feelings will never be forgotten.

 

[Xel]

The world, in my experience, doesn't react well to the all-or-nothing way. People are frightened when you let it all splurge out, and weirded out when you're all cold. I'm trying to be more balanced with my emotions but it's hard, because, well, it really is all or nothing. It's either all consuming or I feel nothing. I like this girl at the moment and I'm trying to like her just a little bit instead of going nutso over her, and it's very very difficult. Like Cog said, it just doesn't feel honest unless I let it all out, tell her I want to be my girlfriend and other overly romantic gestures and words that would probably be inappropriate given the context.

This describes my situation well. I don't want to be so all caught up in it... I just want to let the relationship evolve but I tend to get overly dreamy about it overly passionate.