Jchazard
Member
- Local time
- Today 6:46 PM
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2010
- Messages
- 75
Firstly I'd like to share my types- INTP, 5w6, LII. I've become fascinated with personality type for a long time now. From MBTI, to Enneagram, to Socionics I feel I've attained a great amount of insight into myself and other people. So here I'd simply like to share my observations of how I've grown as an indivdual and hear stories about others also. As a kid, I grew up highlyyy introverted thinking. Never had more than one friend, read books constantly, toggling theories in my mind consistently and debating them with others. But as I entered into my preteen years I developed strong depression and social anxiety from noticing how different I had made my life compared to others. I began to study and observe interpersonal relations much like a type 5 enneagram would. What people liked and how I could be similar. Interestingly I did this by myself on the computer (just like an introvert no?) and became extremely avoidant and socially anxious (I assume I was developing Avoidant personality disorder).
It wasn't until my junior year in high school that I finally started coming out of my shell. Interestingly, this is probably due to my increasing anxiety (Disintegration of type 5 enneagram to type 7). I finally managed to get myself a friend (ENFP 7w8) through an akward incident where I finally got my second kiss. I had no understanding of social norms and from her I managed to attain a great deal of understanding as she took the time to befriend me and allowed me to ask the silliest of questions to understand people. It is also from her I developed my extraverted intuition as it was her predominant trait. But I also became increasingly scatterbrained as she was enneagram 7 and was my primary social example.
I finally managed to get a girlfriend through my increase of understanding from the ENFP. A gorgeous ESFP 2w1 who Im still incredibly in love with after over a year. But the funny thing was that this was again because of my increasing anxiety and disintegration in the enneagram I couldnt focus on any of my studies and failed the year (thought I had ADHD although now Im not so sure since it could just be the disintegration), constantly thinking the worst and paranoid of both the ENFP and ESFP (anxiety and introverted thinking combined), and soley seeking to develop social understanding (common INTP and type 5 fear). Through my ESFP girlfriend I gained even more insight into human relationships and luckily both the EN and SFP were loving and supportive and I too shared my intellect with them to help with their problems.
I began pouring myself into psychology study. I found it fascinating. In fact, I became so intrigued by others and had been so influenced and loved by my two closest companions that I thought I was ENFP 2w3 for a considerable amount of time. In fact, only until within the last month after spending alot of time in a new school and gaining more understanding through other that I finally understood my type. I loved people so much and spent so much time trying to understand others I honestly thought that's who I was. Now, as I gained a greater understanding through all these new people I had come to know, my integration took form and I began to look more like a type 5 to myself. Less scatterbrained, less hyperactive, less anxious, more mature, and able to make better conclusions.
Now that I understand who I really am, I'm beginning to find myself trying to develop my personality from the chaos it was before. I seem to have spent all this time developing Exraverted Feeling as I am VERY enthusiastic with others now (channeling what I learned through Ne as a type 7 into how I act around other). I still love people and they seem to love me. It's interesting that since I've learn so much from feelers and extraverts I now feel an incredible amount of sympathy for others. Im very generous and always want to help. Also, I find myself happier the more people I talk to as it feels so fantastic to finally have the ability to be normal. I openly talk with everyone, talk in class, and am honestly interested in nearly every person I meet and try to learn from them. This was why I was so confused. I DID get energy from others, but this was because I approached extraversion like an introvert. But now I understand I was trying to solve my life (TI) and gain information from others through experimentation (Ne).
But between socionics and MBTI I'm unsure as to which function I will be developing next. According to MBTI it should be Si. But according to socionics it should be Fi. I now have a new best friend at school who is an INFP 9w8 (it was through interaction with him that I finally understood my true type). Which is very interesting because this is the third major influence who has introverted feeling in their top 2 functions. I find myself asking questions of morality, what I want in life, what I feel is right, and how others feel. It's amazing how influence from others seems to develop our type. So I feel as though I meet take on the role of the socionics INTj instead of the MBTI INTP through influence (SOCIOnics). But I feel if I had live my life as a normal INTP I might have started gaining SI right about now. So I'm very curious how others have developed in their life. Here's an overview of my development for other's benefit.
Ti>Ne>Fe>Fi
Type 5>Type 7>Type 5
I honestly wish I could gain Te as I have a horrid time forgeting things still as Im entering my true enneagram again and writing notes would help. But it's very hard as I do most of my thinking in my head and am easily distracted by what I want to do. So I'm still questioning whether Im ADHD or a diintegrated 5, but either way I don't think it matters much. Please shar your insight into how you have developed as I am MOST curious to find out from other INTPs! Thanks, guys!
It wasn't until my junior year in high school that I finally started coming out of my shell. Interestingly, this is probably due to my increasing anxiety (Disintegration of type 5 enneagram to type 7). I finally managed to get myself a friend (ENFP 7w8) through an akward incident where I finally got my second kiss. I had no understanding of social norms and from her I managed to attain a great deal of understanding as she took the time to befriend me and allowed me to ask the silliest of questions to understand people. It is also from her I developed my extraverted intuition as it was her predominant trait. But I also became increasingly scatterbrained as she was enneagram 7 and was my primary social example.
I finally managed to get a girlfriend through my increase of understanding from the ENFP. A gorgeous ESFP 2w1 who Im still incredibly in love with after over a year. But the funny thing was that this was again because of my increasing anxiety and disintegration in the enneagram I couldnt focus on any of my studies and failed the year (thought I had ADHD although now Im not so sure since it could just be the disintegration), constantly thinking the worst and paranoid of both the ENFP and ESFP (anxiety and introverted thinking combined), and soley seeking to develop social understanding (common INTP and type 5 fear). Through my ESFP girlfriend I gained even more insight into human relationships and luckily both the EN and SFP were loving and supportive and I too shared my intellect with them to help with their problems.
I began pouring myself into psychology study. I found it fascinating. In fact, I became so intrigued by others and had been so influenced and loved by my two closest companions that I thought I was ENFP 2w3 for a considerable amount of time. In fact, only until within the last month after spending alot of time in a new school and gaining more understanding through other that I finally understood my type. I loved people so much and spent so much time trying to understand others I honestly thought that's who I was. Now, as I gained a greater understanding through all these new people I had come to know, my integration took form and I began to look more like a type 5 to myself. Less scatterbrained, less hyperactive, less anxious, more mature, and able to make better conclusions.
Now that I understand who I really am, I'm beginning to find myself trying to develop my personality from the chaos it was before. I seem to have spent all this time developing Exraverted Feeling as I am VERY enthusiastic with others now (channeling what I learned through Ne as a type 7 into how I act around other). I still love people and they seem to love me. It's interesting that since I've learn so much from feelers and extraverts I now feel an incredible amount of sympathy for others. Im very generous and always want to help. Also, I find myself happier the more people I talk to as it feels so fantastic to finally have the ability to be normal. I openly talk with everyone, talk in class, and am honestly interested in nearly every person I meet and try to learn from them. This was why I was so confused. I DID get energy from others, but this was because I approached extraversion like an introvert. But now I understand I was trying to solve my life (TI) and gain information from others through experimentation (Ne).
But between socionics and MBTI I'm unsure as to which function I will be developing next. According to MBTI it should be Si. But according to socionics it should be Fi. I now have a new best friend at school who is an INFP 9w8 (it was through interaction with him that I finally understood my true type). Which is very interesting because this is the third major influence who has introverted feeling in their top 2 functions. I find myself asking questions of morality, what I want in life, what I feel is right, and how others feel. It's amazing how influence from others seems to develop our type. So I feel as though I meet take on the role of the socionics INTj instead of the MBTI INTP through influence (SOCIOnics). But I feel if I had live my life as a normal INTP I might have started gaining SI right about now. So I'm very curious how others have developed in their life. Here's an overview of my development for other's benefit.
Ti>Ne>Fe>Fi
Type 5>Type 7>Type 5
I honestly wish I could gain Te as I have a horrid time forgeting things still as Im entering my true enneagram again and writing notes would help. But it's very hard as I do most of my thinking in my head and am easily distracted by what I want to do. So I'm still questioning whether Im ADHD or a diintegrated 5, but either way I don't think it matters much. Please shar your insight into how you have developed as I am MOST curious to find out from other INTPs! Thanks, guys!
