INTP needs help: HOW TO GET A LIFE & HOW TO BE A HUMAN

[robott]

INTP needs help: HOW TO GET A LIFE & HOW TO BE A HUMAN

When i was kid i had friends and adventures, but i got computer and got sucked in, totally. Almost stopped going out home, just was sitting on computer and programming, browsing internets, listening music etc. It become even worse when i moved out to different city and started new school. Also had some family problems.
At beginning i loved spending entire day on computer, but as years progressed, i started liking it less and less, and realizing what great things i could have outside computer. But i didn't know how to get a life, i only knew how to sit on computer. Also, at that point i wasnt going to any school or work, just full time computer addiction. I havent even cooked or anything, my mother did that. Sometimes i was going to sleep at 10 am and waking up at 7 pm, because i didnt care if its day or night.
With my last strength, i looked for a jobs in different city (no programming jobs at my family city), and then i sent application and they invited me for interview. And i got the job. I moved to that city, it is big city. For most time i lived with people i know from school, they study here. However, having a job didnt help me much. Sure, i had money, self-confidence increase, but my life havent changed. I still spend my entire free time at computer, but its not because im addicted, i just dont know what i can do besides computer. Because my last few years of life were spent on computer. So i didnt go anywhere, didnt have friends or girlfriend. And the people at work, i talked with them at work but we havent ever meet outside of work. Note, almost all of them were much older than me, they have family, friends, life.
After some time working there, i quit that job. I planned to change job, was on few interviews but they didnt wanted me (probably because of my salary expectations, need to lower them..). I might find work in weeks but that's not going to change anything. I don't know how to make friends at work, i dont know where to go and what to do in my free time, i dont know how to start conversations, i dont know how to live. Where i can find "life tutorial"? Just like there are programming tutorials. I found some articles on wikihow but they are not enough.
Also, that time when i was just sitting on computer, i had social anxiety, unable to talk with people, now it changed, but i still don't know how to initiate/start conversation at ordinary places. I was at pub few times, drank some alcohol and talked to some people, but need advice. Also, time ago i was extremely scared toward womans, but this also changed a lot, now i feel good around them. I improved myself by 200% but still need to improve further to become human.

And here i have questions for you, please answer:
1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?
2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.
3. What you can do in your free time other than using computer?
4. I can talk with people if there is conversation, but i dont know how to start. How you do that? Please show example conversations
5. How do you talk to people/make friends at places such as gym? or pub? or other
6. Where i can find list of all places, all activities, all possible hobby's, all everything?
7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?
8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?
9. How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such
10. When i was 6 i was sniffing 6yr old female friend pussy, and i showed her my dick. And i put finger into her ass. Yes i was 6, so was she, and we both enjoyed that. But then i moved out. I moved out a lot in my life. Still i had a chance at my early teens to hav gf and lost virginity BUT then i went totally into computers and wasnt interested in girls at all. I wasn't interested in anything thats not computers. But now i want to find young virgin (15-18yrs) and have her as gf. Where to find/meet such girls?
11. Im procastinating, lack of motivation. I have 100 important things to do yet i dont do any. How to get strength, motivation?
12. Where can go alone, where can go with friends?
13. What intp can do with girlfriend?
14. What do you think of dating websites?
15. About what you can talk with strangers?
16. I don't have problem starting talk as long as there is reason i should talk to this person eg.coworker about project we both work. But how to talk without such reasons.

 

[TimeAsylums]

View attachment 2241 [DANGER] [WARNING]

explains the choice to reject and neglect the use of paragraphs perfectly

 

[robott]

View attachment 2241 [DANGER] [WARNING]

explains the choice to reject and neglect the use of paragraphs perfectly

Sorry, i posted this with linux machine (it puts \n as newline, windows does \r\n), now i fixed post by manually placing < br> in place of enter.

 

[Pyropyro]

INTP needs help: HOW TO GET A LIFE & HOW TO BE A HUMAN
And here i have questions for you, please answer:

I'll try.

1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?

I talk about themselves or an interesting event happening before our eyes.

2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.

The church, school and depressed areas.

]3. What you can do in your free time other than using computer?

Reading books.

4. I can talk with people if there is conversation, but i dont know how to start. How you do that? Please show example conversations

I smile. (my culture makes it easy to disarm people with it)

Me: *smile* Hey, how's your family/school/work? (family topics are most easily understood)

Person: Oh them... blah blah blah

5. How do you talk to people/make friends at places such as gym? or pub? or other

I only make friends with people that I do something with. The harder the work, the closer we get.

6. Where i can find list of all places, all activities, all possible hobby's, all everything?

Google.

7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?

Start by not pretending you're a robot. I already walked that path, labelling myself with autism and such, but in hindsight I think I was simply shielding myself from taking responsibilities of my own actions.

8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?

Since you like computers, perhaps you may wish to join a club or group that's dedicated to it?

9. How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such

Well on my journey, I went to depressed areas to help me stop being a whiner. I also became more positive when I learned about how these communities fought with their allies for their right to have a ore decent life. Makes me more inspired that I can achieve impossible things as well.

10. When i was 6 i was sniffing 6yr old female friend pussy, and i showed her my dick. And i put finger into her ass. Yes i was 6, so was she, and we both enjoyed that. But then i moved out. I moved out a lot in my life. Still i had a chance at my early teens to hav gf and lost virginity BUT then i went totally into computers and wasnt interested in girls at all. I wasn't interested in anything thats not computers. But now i want to find young virgin (15-18yrs) and have her as gf. Where to find/meet such girls?

You have the wrong motivation so I won't help you here.

11. Im procastinating, lack of motivation. I have 100 important things to do yet i dont do any. How to get strength, motivation?

Physical or figurative hunger. The former is great if you're being too lazy. The latter is harder to muster but can help you push past your limits.

12. Where can go alone, where can go with friends?

I think you've already solved this, yes? Depends on the friends that you choose.

13. What intp can do with girlfriend?

Whatever both of you agreed upon.

14. What do you think of dating websites?

convenient

15. About what you can talk with strangers?

shared experiences during said time with strangers (ex. travelling, working out or studying)

16. I don't have problem starting talk as long as there is reason i should talk to this person eg.coworker about project we both work. But how to talk without such reasons.

I ask about themselves or their family. I just then listen and react to whatever topic they bring up.

 

[The Void]

You think those who themselves say "go have a life', themselves have a life?
They are just running away from something, just living a continous distraction.
Distraction from what?
Life is everything.
Computer is a part of life. Computer don't betray me, okay it does sometimes, humans are stupid and annoying,
All these friendships, entertainmeant all is distraction from something that needs to solved,
distraction so that you don't complete your thoughts,
because intintuively you know when you face the truth, you die.

 

[Ex-User (8886)]

1. Ask about situation, place, interests, job. People are everywhere, so you can talk everywhere.
2. idk
3. philosofy, neuroscience, talking with humans, study, music...
4. It's not good for introvert to start conversation
5. I usually go with friends. Making new one is always random, when I meet friends of my friends, or in job/school, or in internet.
6. idk, do what you're interested in. For me computers and brains.
7. talk more about emotions and feelings
8. park, pub, your home, home your friends
9. acceptation
10. internet, street, park
11. do some sports, good diet, find person from opposit sex
12. you can be alone in a toilet
13. sex, talking, watching films, drinking beer, mountains
14. I have recently found nice ENTP

theese all questions won't help you, but you must understand it in your own

I suggest to buy some books about relationship, people, dating, and maybe buy some GOOD courses, like:
http://mateuszgrzesiak.com/kalendarz-szkolen/

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Where to find/meet such girls?

What do you mean by such girls? Do you mean girls as objects for your sexuality?
I don't advise such objective/possesive attitude towards others.
If you seek to find a girlfriend, develop a healthy relationship you could meet or acquaint people from the internet, places you visit (if you don't visit any places, including the internet, it most likely won't happen)

how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?

If you want to talk to them, choose a relatively neutral topic, or a situation you are both in, if you are at the bus stop, you can discuss the infrastructure, this particular system of public transport, imperfections in the system, weather, general problems that everyone experiences (government measures and stupidity, widely known world events (olympics), etc.), the best option is to carefuly wait for the person to express and mention the topic of the discussion, so that you can respond to this person and continue discussing what this person wants to talk about. Also it is important to choose the right topic for the right person, some people won't talk to you at all, you will develop the "feel" for the situations you can start a conversation, you will intuitively know what topics you could touch, it requires some experience.

How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such

There are various schools and/or schools of thought you can read about.
You can start by reading about Pessimism, from there you will find links to Optimism, Existential Nihilism and general philosophy, a journey of a lifetime.

Computer is a part of life. Computer don't betray me, okay it does sometimes, humans are stupid and annoying

Misanthropy is not a good suggestion in the case of a person that seeks to establish relationships.

All these friendships, entertainmeant all is distraction from something that needs to solved

Nothing needs to be done, in the end, the death will come irrespectively.

distraction so that you don't complete your thoughts
because intintuively you know when you face the truth, you die.

I would argue that you never face the truth and you simply die. There are levels to the practical quasi-truths you can achieve.

 

[The Void]

What do you mean by such girls? Do you mean girls as objects for your sexuality?
I don't advise such objective/possesive attitude towards others.
If you seek to find a girlfriend, develop a healthy relationship you could meet or acquaint people from the internet, places you visit (if you don't visit any places, including the internet, it most likely won't happen)

If you want to talk to them, choose a relatively neutral topic, or a situation you are both in, if you are at the bus stop, you can discuss the infrastructure, this particular system of public transport, imperfections in the system, weather, general problems that everyone experiences (government measures and stupidity, widely known world events (olympics), etc.), the best option is to carefuly wait for the person to express and mention the topic of the discussion, so that you can respond to this person and continue discussing what this person wants to talk about. Also it is important to choose the right topic for the right person, some people won't talk to you at all, you will develop the "feel" for the situations you can start a conversation, you will intuitively know what topics you could touch, it requires some experience.

There are various schools and/or schools of thought you can read about.
You can start by reading about Pessimism, from there you will find links to Optimism, Existential Nihilism and general philosophy, a journey of a lifetime.


Misanthropy is not a good suggestion in the case of a person that seeks to establish relationships.

Nothing needs to be done, in the end, the death will come irrespectively.

Exactly nothing needs to be done. But that does not means nothing should be done. Humans are devolving. We are animals, we have to become humans, and learn to do nothing! The this is there is experience. If people don't like that experience, then they have to change something. Though it is not wrong if they stay in other ways, it doesn't matter.

I would argue that you never face the truth and you simply die. There are levels to the practical quasi-truths you can achieve.

I never said I achieved. Though it may indirectly imply. But so what?
How can I claim what I claimed if I didn't achieve it?
Because I am crazy.

 

[Affinity]

And here i have questions for you, please answer:
1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?

Pay a compliment about something they're wearing perhaps. Or comment about the weather or something glaringly obvious and go from there.
[/quote]

2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.

I like to do some of my work or hw at coffee shops. You get coffee, you get a nice atmosphere, and you get a chance to meet new people.

3. What you can do in your free time other than using computer?

Go to the gym and work on self-improvement. You will feel better, look better, and become more confident.

5. How do you talk to people/make friends at places such as gym? or pub? or other

For a place like the gym, ask for advice on a workout, or ask if they could spot you. You can go from there and ask how long they've been working out for and what exercises they like to do. Keep it short and sweet and thank them, next time you'll be able to say hi and build on it.

6. Where i can find list of all places, all activities, all possible hobby's, all everything?

http://www.meetup.com

7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?

You need to replace the belief that you are autistic, robotic, or plainly not good enough. You are a human being like the rest of us and although may be different from the majority, are smart, confident, charismatic, interesting, unique, fun, funny, etc...

8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?

www.meetup.com
Coffee shops
Pick a hobby and find others interested.

9. How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such

Why the hell do you want to be a negative person? Do you like hanging out with negative people because I sure as fuck don't. Not being negative is as simple as how you want to perceive a situation. Work on your perception of situations and SMILE often.

And I feel I've answered enough questions. Quit with the TL;DR and go do something, go do something new, go do something out of your comfort zone, and go do it today. /tonyrobbins

 

[Brontosaurie]

I wasn't interested in anything thats not computers. But now i want to find young virgin (15-18yrs) and have her as gf.

i think you should become a songwriter

 

[Valentas]

1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?
I don't bother. I only go to socialise at MeetUp group every week at the pub with web designers and software engineers. I don't have tips on talking with strangers. I suspect you should introduce yourself and start a conversation about anything really. I found that people usually want to talk but they don't want to initiate conversation.

2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.
Climbing mountains, going for a run with roommate(he managed to prove me that it's great way to start the day), sometimes I go to the pub with CS society people.

3. What you can do in your free time other than using computer?
Anything. All you need is initiative. Want to meet friends? Go to some social place and just talk with anyone really. Do some random stuff. Start yoga practice, stetching routine, go for a run, just invite your neighbor to go for a run if you want company, go to gym or swimming pool to improve your looks, meet new people too.

4. I can talk with people if there is conversation, but i dont know how to start. How you do that? Please show example conversations
Usually, I jump in to other people conversations. Yesterday, I've been solving math problems in computers lab and three girls have been talking about stuff on algorithms. I just asked what they are doing there and they explained that they try to solve recursive algorithm and it has bugs. So, I helped them to inspect code and just talked about Ukraine, politics and other stuff they were interested in after solving that problem.

5. How do you talk to people/make friends at places such as gym? or pub? or other
At gym? Just ask the person how to do exercise correctly. Usually, he will help and from there, you can ask how long did you train, what kind of diet you use and similar stuff. Pub? Anything. People come there to socialize so you will probably find any topic acceptable.

6. Where i can find list of all places, all activities, all possible hobby's, all everything?
I searched MeetUp for my city. You can find anything on that website and then just join the group on the meeting place and time. You will be bound to feel comfortable because they usually welcome new members.

7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?
INTPs are not robots. To stop thinking too much, go and do something else. Don't expect to achieve different results by engaging in the same activities. As I said, do random stuff. Go play basketball with people, start aikido training or whatever, just do something else and you'll experience different life. It's that simple. If you spend your time on computer, no one knows you exist.

8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?
That's your preference. I suggested MeetUp website already.

9. How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such
Well, I tend to be pesimistic too. Mainly, because I don't live in a bubble and actually read about history and what are the plans for the future of humanity. Loads of stuff is depressing and you cannot disprove that. But then you should ask what's the point in being worried if you cannot change something? It will simply give you anxiety and won't remove cause of the problem. So, instead I chose to live the life and stop reading so much stuff because I am very tired after analyzing and thinking too much. I used to wake up at night because I was half sleeping all the time due to many ideas in my mind. I chose to stop thinking and since then, I can sleep well and became optimist. My parents were worried I think too much and it was true. Understand that you are physical and mental being and you MUST balance these sides. I was on mental side and thus felt weak and worried allthe time. Get your ass outside for a run and just admire the opportunity to be alive. Also watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArKPZyfZUFs

10. When i was 6 i was sniffing 6yr old female friend pussy, and i showed her my dick. And i put finger into her ass. Yes i was 6, so was she, and we both enjoyed that. But then i moved out. I moved out a lot in my life. Still i had a chance at my early teens to hav gf and lost virginity BUT then i went totally into computers and wasnt interested in girls at all. I wasn't interested in anything thats not computers. But now i want to find young virgin (15-18yrs) and have her as gf. Where to find/meet such girls?
Nothing bad about that. It's a traditional 'show me yours and I'll show you main' Why do you need virgin? Personally, I don't give a damn about that. I care about a person I can talk with about deep stuff, personality and not too much interference to my private space all the time. Also, beauty would be a plus though I am not very big on that. Also, here is logical deduction: A - sitting all the time with computers B - finds a girlfriend; A does not imply B here which means you have to get out of your room and do something different in public space. There, you will meet girls to talk with. As I said, you won't get different results if you won't change your actions.

11. Im procastinating, lack of motivation. I have 100 important things to do yet i dont do any. How to get strength, motivation?
Make a list and work on each item for 30 mins, then take a break. When you feel mentally tired, go out and engage in some other activity. The only way to stay sane and healthy imho.

12. Where can go alone, where can go with friends?
I thought you analyze stuff so you must have many ideas where to go. Choose a random place or let others decide where you will go. And, please, if you don't like destination, say a pub, go anyways. Just do it and try to enjoy the time.

13. What intp can do with girlfriend?
Talk, play, go for a run, benefit from nice meals she cooks, learn new stuff together, just anything you can imagine really.

14. What do you think of dating websites?
Never used them and I am neutral about them. In my opinion, you should just ask out a girl in real world. I am not into these websites at all.

15. About what you can talk with strangers?
General topics. Hobbies, what do you do, what are you passionate about(this one will get your stranger's attention fast because we like to talk about stuff we love to do)

 

[Cognisant]

1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?
From experience working in retail try finding common ground, something they want to talk about, which is hard because being strangers you don't know what they like to talk about, generally though people like to talk about themselves, especially things they're proud of, also it really helps to be genuinely interested in whatever you start talking about. For example you could go up to a scary looking biker, compliment him on his helmet/jacket/whatever and ask him where he got it from, now he can't answer that with a yes or no so now you've got him talking but he's going to answer in the shortest way possible so you need to be ready to keep up the momentum.

This is where being genuinely interested really helps, without standing there silently like an idiot you can immediately continue with something like "oh yeah I've been there before" but of course you can't really plan your response because you don't know what he's going to say, so you need to be relaxed, flexible, ready to continue blathering on at a moment's notice. Unfortunately improvisation is a skill learnt by experience, as you get better you'll start anticipating what the other person is going to say after their first few words and body language, giving you more time to come up with and check what you're going to say, in the beginning when you're just saying whatever comes to mind to keep the momentum going you're likely to embarrass yourself, but don't worry about it, in fact if anything the person you're talking to is going to be amused by it.

Once you've reached critical momentum, the other person turning to face you or getting comfortable is a clear sign of this, your next mission is to establish rapport, basically you're telling them why as a fellow human being you want to talk to them, but whatever you do don't actually say anything like that. Instead relate the subject to yourself, with the biker you could tell him of a bike you have, one you want, one you are getting, and with any luck your hook will have finally sunk in and he will start telling you about all kinds of motorcycles and which he thinks are better and whatnot because now he relates to you as a fellow motorcycle enthusiast.

2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.
People are everywhere but it's best to seek new friends at enthusiast conventions or places where people with similar interests congregate because you can safely assume their interests to a degree.

3. What you can do in your free time other than using computer?
Err, drinking and talking about shit.

4. I can talk with people if there is conversation, but i dont know how to start. How you do that? Please show example conversations
Aside from the above I suggest just talking, people are generally polite enough to try talking to whoever talks to them and if you don't stop people will talk back, and if you're talking about something that interests them and listen intently when they talk about it they'll have a hard time stopping, people love being listened to when talking about their interests.

5. How do you talk to people/make friends at places such as gym? or pub? or other
Smile, be genuinely happy to see people.
Dogs do this amazingly well, a dog can't talk and usually aren't all that bright but it'll make a point of going around and ensuring everybody knows that it's happy to meet them, which is also why it's such a good idea to have a dog because a dog will make friends and introduce you to them every chance it gets.

You also have to walk them, which is good exercise for you, gets you out of the house, a dog will try to introduce you to every single person you pass and best of all having a dog gives you something to talk about, especially with other people who have dogs.

Seriously a dog is a man's best friend.

6. Where i can find list of all places, all activities, all possible hobby's, all everything?
Google.

7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?
Screw that, we are the master race

8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?
The moon, once you've been there everybody's your friend.

9. How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such
Sing Bob Marly's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" in the shower, memorise the lyrics, even the doop-doop bits, and whenever you find someone that's upset or annoyed sing it to them, try to get them to sing along, even dance a little if you're feeling cocky.

Upset women are everywhere and if you do that to cheer them up they'll think you'd the most wonderful sensitive person since Jesus fucking Christ.

10. When i was 6 i was sniffing 6yr old female friend pussy, and i showed her my dick. And i put finger into her ass. Yes i was 6, so was she, and we both enjoyed that. But then i moved out. I moved out a lot in my life. Still i had a chance at my early teens to hav gf and lost virginity BUT then i went totally into computers and wasnt interested in girls at all. I wasn't interested in anything thats not computers. But now i want to find young virgin (15-18yrs) and have her as gf. Where to find/meet such girls?
Seriously dude, creepy.

I know the frustration, I know it hurts to realise that in this finite lifespan there's 18yr old girls with svelte bodies and pheromones that smell like heaven on fucking earth and the months are going by and you're not having sex at all, believe me I know what it's like, but if you focus on such things you'll only end up even more frustrated, creepiness is a rut and you want to stay as far away from it as you can.

11. Im procastinating, lack of motivation. I have 100 important things to do yet i dont do any. How to get strength, motivation?
Keep reminding yourself how absolutely critically important those things are.
When you can't do them think about them, let the obsession take over.

12. Where can go alone, where can go with friends?
Anywhere.

13. What intp can do with girlfriend?
You need instructions?

14. What do you think of dating websites?
Full of single mothers, mental patients, lesbians, women so ugly it makes you want to cry, cockteases who are there for the ego boost but nothing else, and in this sea of shit there's a few rare ones that are genuinely there to meet a boyfriend, but of course a million other guys are messaging them too and even if you do make it through the crowd be prepared to talk for six months at absolute minimum, that is assuming you don't lose you patience after waiting a week for a reply every single time.

15. About what you can talk with strangers?
Whatever they want to talk about.

16. I don't have problem starting talk as long as there is reason i should talk to this person eg.coworker about project we both work. But how to talk without such reasons.
Doesn't matter, just talk, wanting to talk to someone for the sake of talking to them is itself a perfectly valid reason to talk to them.

 

[The Void]

Why be human when you can transcend humanity.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Not answering all because I think other posters have done a good job with them.

Spoiler

2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.

Go out looking for places to go. At the very least you'll learn how to navigate.

3. What you can do in your free time other than using computer?

Masturbate.

Or put something you've learned into practice (whatever your interests are. If you have no interests you should try things to see what you're interested in. Also, learning and masturbation aren't mutually exclusive ).

8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?

They'll find you. You don't need to go searching, you just need to be findable. (Yeah, that's a word now. )

12. Where can go alone, where can go with friends?

You need interests and friends first.

14. What do you think of dating websites?

Can be useful or over-rated. Mostly over-rated. You still have to interact with people online, you know.

15. About what you can talk with strangers?

How they can be useful to you and visa versa? (<-This statement is terrible advice, by the way).

16. I don't have problem starting talk as long as there is reason i should talk to this person eg.coworker about project we both work. But how to talk without such reasons.

I'm not sure there is such a thing. Such a thing with meaning, anyway.

1, 4, 5, 7, 9, 10, 11, & 13: Drugs.

 

[Pizzabeak]

I think certain girls require certain things be done during the interaction for a most ideal time for both members involved. If one doesn't listen or pay enough attention then chances become increasingly diminished as time goes on, and one can regret not having full access to the hindsight while the event was occurring. Overall, one will have to get over that possibility and focus on the result, instead of dwelling on what could have happened..

There could have been a desired outcome that was possible but it didn't come to fruition for one reason or another (mostly due to not staying on top of it), but once it's over it is more or less over.. It isn't wise to try and make what was supposed to happen happen after the variables have disbanded from a particular range of influence.. Then, it would be 'too late'.

Due to the possible outcomes. You can very well slap someone, but that wouldn't be wise or congruent. Then there's a potential limit, one may not want to take it too far depending on the circumstances of course, so there's always that to wrestle with as well, which probably clouds up the signal more than anything.

 

[HAL9000]

And here i have questions for you, please answer:
1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?
2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.
3. What you can do in your free time other than using computer?
4. I can talk with people if there is conversation, but i dont know how to start. How you do that? Please show example conversations
5. How do you talk to people/make friends at places such as gym? or pub? or other
6. Where i can find list of all places, all activities, all possible hobby's, all everything?
7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?
8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?
9. How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such
10. When i was 6 i was sniffing 6yr old female friend pussy, and i showed her my dick. And i put finger into her ass. Yes i was 6, so was she, and we both enjoyed that. But then i moved out. I moved out a lot in my life. Still i had a chance at my early teens to hav gf and lost virginity BUT then i went totally into computers and wasnt interested in girls at all. I wasn't interested in anything thats not computers. But now i want to find young virgin (15-18yrs) and have her as gf. Where to find/meet such girls?
11. Im procastinating, lack of motivation. I have 100 important things to do yet i dont do any. How to get strength, motivation?
12. Where can go alone, where can go with friends?
13. What intp can do with girlfriend?
14. What do you think of dating websites?
15. About what you can talk with strangers?
16. I don't have problem starting talk as long as there is reason i should talk to this person eg.coworker about project we both work. But how to talk without such reasons.

1. Learning to talk with strangers is something that just comes with time. You can't just expect to do it. I see you're a keen computer programmer. Well I'm doing a C++ module at university right now and... I wish I could 'just do it'..! But I know it needs time. Everything needs time. It's the same for learning to talk with people. One thing that will help is if you start to spend our time in public places - go to a park, or literally hang around the town/city centre, you'll be surprised how many people end up talking to you if you just sit there on a bench for a while. It's one of my favourite social cheats.

2. If you're an INTP, then the only time you ever care about leaving home is when it's for a pesonal MISSION that you've decided to do. Hence most INTPs will only go outside if it's for a trip to the shop. So, make every outside trip into a mission. Often I do this. I know I spend too much time inside, so I decide I should walk to the city. And that is my mission - walk to the city! It takes about 1 hour and luckily I live in London so it's a good adventure every time. If you live in a less city-like place, you could think of any other mission. Maybe... walk to the countryside! Or up a mountain. etc etc. Most importantly, you need a 'reason' to go outside. So make one!"

3. This is sort of the same as question 2. Although I guess you should have a hobby or something. INTPs tend to prefer solo hobbies. I like skateboarding. A lot probably enjoy climbing, hiking, etc. Maybe photography?

4. I have no idea how to start conversation. As I said in my answer to question 1, just let the people come to you. Then they have initiated the conversation, and you just need to answer them. Don't just start a conversation for the sake of it. I find that my style of conversation is usually asking people very in-depth questions about their interests, or sharing ideas with them that I think they'll be interested to know.

5. There's no special formula for making friends. It just requires repeat contact - eg you happen to talk to them quite a lot, until eventually it feels like more than just an acquaintance. And then everything happens naturally.

6. You must have been exposed to many hundreds of hours of Internet, youtube, etc - you surely know enough about 'the world'. Don't tell me you aren't aware of the vast array of options to choose for things to do!

7. Impossible but be proud of it. It's quite fun really!

8. Pub. But try not to become the solo alcoholic who everybody likes but nobody is friends with. I know that's how I'd become if I went to the pub to socialise too much. Alternatively, just take up a hobby and see where it goes. Also, colleges are often good places to make friends. Maybe find a course in something you're interested in...?

9. It depends if your negativity is depression or pessimism? It's probably the typical INTP pessimism. That's a hard one to overcome. It's not a bad thing though. It's just uber-logic! Eventually you'll get bored of it. My friends and family used to hate my cynical outlook. These days I just don't care any more. Or maybe I just don't vocalise it as much.

10. LOL. How old are you? Finding a girlfriend is the same as finding friends. It needs to happen naturally. And if she likes you, you won't need to think about what course of action to take, because it'll all just 'happen' anyway.

11. You need to motivate yourself. From experience, I usually find myself have a sudden moment where I mentally slap myself in the face and go full throttle into what I need to do. And then suddenly I've done it and feel very satisfied. I think this is a typical XNTP trait.

12. You are a human being and you can go wherever you like, whenever you like, alone or with friends, the choice is yours.

13. This is a tough one. Literally a girlfriend for me is just a person to have with me when I'm doing MY thing. If she enjoys it then that is absolutely brilliant. If she doesn't enjoy it, then she needs to go and do her own thing. It's as simple as that really. So to answer your question.... I'd say the INTP should just do what they always do with their girlfriend/boyfriend.

14. I joined a dating website. I went on a few dates. The idea, 'in theory' was brilliant (heh standard INTP enjoying theoretical perfection), but it's not reality, it's just another part of the bullshit online simulation of a world. I think Internet dating works for some people, but not for me. You should try it if you want, but my personal opinion is that it isn't a natural form of courtship at all.

15. As I said before, let the strangers come to you. Unless you know exactly what you want to say to them, don't bother at all. It comes with time. You'll learn as you get older I guess. For now, just reciprocate conversation when people talk in your direction.

16. I suffer this same problem. Again as I said before, just find a 'reason' to talk to someone. Usually it involves asking them about something they/you might find interesting. Don't worry about 'not talking' though. It's not that bad.


It sounds like you feel overwhelmed by the extroversion-centric society we have today. Don't get so worked up about it. If you're not big on being social or being talkative, that's fine! Just be yourself and live your life. Do what YOU want to do. Only you can do that. When the time comes, I think you'll be absolutely fine.

 

[robott]

Sorry for late reply, but had to do many other things (all of them on computer...).

1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?

I talk about themselves or an interesting event happening before our eyes.

But there is nothing interesting at bus stop or at groccery or at pub. Can you show me some example conversations at such places?

2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.

The church, school and depressed areas.

I don't go to either, and don't want. Aren't there any other places?

3. What you can do in your free time other than using computer?

Reading books.

I would like more things outside of home. Also, how could I find valueable books/movies for me? I only like such that make me better and smarter person, I don't like just plain entertainment.

4. I can talk with people if there is conversation, but i dont know how to start. How you do that? Please show example conversations

Me: *smile* Hey, how's your family/school/work? (family topics are most easily understood)

That's a good advice. Maybe also could ask "Can you tell me something about yourself?" (at pub) ? You can give me more examples if you have.

I noticed some people like to talk a lot, about themselves or their relatives, but they need you to ask them first, show them that you are intersted.

6. Where i can find list of all places, all activities, all possible hobby's, all everything?

Google

OK. I found a lot, and I am making excel sheets with that.

7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?

Start by not pretending you're a robot. I already walked that path, labelling myself with autism and such, but in hindsight I think I was simply shielding myself from taking responsibilities of my own actions.

I know I am not real autist, but I almost behave like one. It is partly due to stopping doing anything with people and spending all day on computer.

8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?

Since you like computers, perhaps you may wish to join a club or group that's dedicated to it?

There are such groups? And what do they do and where they meet. Show examples of such groups.

10. When i was 6 i was sniffing 6yr old female friend pussy, and i showed her my dick. And i put finger into her ass. Yes i was 6, so was she, and we both enjoyed that. But then i moved out. I moved out a lot in my life. Still i had a chance at my early teens to hav gf and lost virginity BUT then i went totally into computers and wasnt interested in girls at all. I wasn't interested in anything thats not computers. But now i want to find young virgin (15-18yrs) and have her as gf. Where to find/meet such girls?

You have the wrong motivation so I won't help you here.

How is it wrong?

11. Im procastinating, lack of motivation. I have 100 important things to do yet i dont do any. How to get strength, motivation?

Physical or figurative hunger. The former is great if you're being too lazy. The latter is harder to muster but can help you push past your limits.

I only have the first one. It only forces me to earn small amount of money, to live. I work for few hours a week, other time I waste on computer doing things I regret. I wish I could turn computer off and go meet people and adventures. But it's not possible. Maybe if I had passive income I could. I feels very bad having to work, need to stop it. I am working on it, but my lazyness isn't helping.

12. Where can go alone, where can go with friends?

I think you've already solved this, yes? Depends on the friends that you choose.

Didn't solved this, need advices.

13. What intp can do with girlfriend?

Whatever both of you agreed upon.

Interpret this question as: what YOU would/are doing with girlfriend, and what do you think one can do.

16. I don't have problem starting talk as long as there is reason i should talk to this person eg.coworker about project we both work. But how to talk without such reasons.

I ask about themselves or their family. I just then listen and react to whatever topic they bring up.

Will try. But can you post some exact conversation examples (real ones, where you initiated talking to stranger)? Also, any other ways other than themselves and family?


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You think those who themselves say "go have a life', themselves have a life?
They are just running away from something, just living a continous distraction.
Distraction from what?
Life is everything.
Computer is a part of life.

But I am not trying to get a life because they told me to do this. I was happy being inside a computer, but I stopped. I realized how many real things I'd like to do. It's my choice. I just need advices how do get a life.


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1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?

1. Ask about situation, place, interests, job. People are everywhere, so you can talk everywhere.

Can you show me some exact examples? They can be real situations from your life and/or some imaginated (just mark if it's real or imaginated). I want to see written dialog examples.
I feel confident when I'm already talking about some topic with a person, just don't know what to say after I approach them and say "Hi".

Me: "Hi"
Stranger: "Hi"
Me: ...

5. How do you talk to people/make friends at places such as gym? or pub? or other

5. I usually go with friends. Making new one is always random, when I meet friends of my friends, or in job/school, or in internet.

Friends of friends. I see. But what if one moved far to other city, how he finds friends?
Job. How to? How to make friends from work people and how to meet them outside work. (i am not working atm though)
Internet? Where exactly? Do you meet that people irl?

7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?

7. talk more about emotions and feelings

That's not helpful advice. I can't.

8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?

8. park, pub, your home, home your friends

Any other places? And, what do you do in park? How do you talk to people in pub? What do you do at friend's home?

(...) But now i want to find young virgin (15-18yrs) and have her as gf. Where to find/meet such girls?

10. internet, street, park

Internet: so I talk in internets and then offer to meet in rl?
Street, park: and how do I start talk to a random 15year old woman at park/street? From what I've read in internets womans don't like being approached by unknown man at places. They more like meeting friends-of-friends.

11. Im procastinating, lack of motivation. I have 100 important things to do yet i dont do any. How to get strength, motivation?

11. do some sports, good diet, find person from opposit sex

Sports: Will do, after I check one thing.
Good diet: already doing, not helping.
Find person from opposit sex: I wish, how to? note: I feel confident around woman and like woman, but I don't meet any because I spend entire day at computer.

14. What do you think of dating websites?

14. I have recently found nice ENTP

Tell a bit more. You started text-talking, for how long? Were you talking on mic/camera? When you first met here irl?

I suggest to buy some books about relationship, people, dating, and maybe buy some GOOD courses, like:

No, I won't pay, I won't even lose my time to read some manipulating NLP sect shit.
And I can learn everything in reality, by experience. Thing is, I just need basics, basics that allow me to start, meet some people. Then I will improve my social skills fast. But need some basics.
Why won't I just go outside and go to any place and do anything, talk what I want to people and see their reactions? It's because of shame. I will feel shame if I say and do something stupid to other person. You need to give me basic skills so I'm confident meeting people and start talking to them.


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Where to find/meet such girls?

What do you mean by such girls? Do you mean girls as objects for your sexuality?
I don't advise such objective/possesive attitude towards others.

Such girls = young, 15-18 years virgins. Don't worry, I don't want to ONLY sex them. I'd also want to care about her and she about me, talk, have someone to share feelings, opinions, things; have someone to sleep with (might be hard if she lived with her parents), have someone to go with on walk or any place, have someone to cook me food, ...
And even when I sex her, she will like it too.

If you seek to find a girlfriend, develop a healthy relationship you could meet or acquaint people from the internet, places you visit (if you don't visit any places, including the internet, it most likely won't happen)

Well, I think I already explained that I don't visit any places. On internets, I don't visit places where could meet anybody and then meet irl.

how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?

If you want to talk to them, choose a relatively neutral topic, or a situation you are both in, if you are at the bus stop, you can discuss the infrastructure, this particular system of public transport, imperfections in the system, weather, general problems that everyone experiences (government measures and stupidity, widely known world events (olympics), etc.), the best option is to carefuly wait for the person to express and mention the topic of the discussion, so that you can respond to this person and continue discussing what this person wants to talk about.

Everything what you said seems right, but it's not clearing anything to me. I think I need exact examples of such conversations. Can you write some dialogs (just first few sentence exchanges with people) from your life when you started talking to stranger?
After I see examples, then I will get general concept of this. But I'd prefer real examples/dialogs, that occured in your life's.

How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such

There are various schools and/or schools of thought you can read about.
You can start by reading about Pessimism, from there you will find links to Optimism, Existential Nihilism and general philosophy, a journey of a lifetime.

Already read such things years ago. And I better don't do this again as they damage me.


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1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?

Pay a compliment about something they're wearing perhaps. Or comment about the weather or something glaringly obvious and go from there.

So I enter a bus, see woman, and say "What a nice skirt, curious what's under it. Could I check?". This going to get me slap in face, not friends.
Even if I said something more normal, it's still stupid.
Me (to a girl): Hey! Nice pants.
A)Girl looks at me as on a psychopath and walks away fast.
or
B)Girl: H-Hey.. yes I like them too. Me: Cool. Nice to meet you. Bye.

Weather? I can't talk about weather, I don't care about it, and hate this "topic". Talking about weather is not in my style. So what is in my style? Dunno. But not weather.

2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.

I like to do some of my work or hw at coffee shops. You get coffee, you get a nice atmosphere, and you get a chance to meet new people.

I hate coffee, it's unhealthy. But still curious how could you meet people there.

3. What you can do in your free time other than using computer?

Go to the gym and work on self-improvement. You will feel better, look better, and become more confident.

Was there time ago. Would come back, but first need to do something. In order to do this I need some money, but it's hard to get it when you are so lazy and procastinating. If I could force myself to work at home for at least 5hours on 4days of week, I would have huge amount of money per my country standard. Maybe if I had "life" (friends&gf) it would be easier. But I will have some significant money in weeks, so maybe will be able to do this thing.
Btw. how you talk to people at gym & find friends? Oh, you answered that in next question:

5. How do you talk to people/make friends at places such as gym? or pub? or other

For a place like the gym, ask for advice on a workout, or ask if they could spot you. You can go from there and ask how long they've been working out for and what exercises they like to do. Keep it short and sweet and thank them, next time you'll be able to say hi and build on it.

Ask for advice? Did you forget we are on INTP forums? I don't need their advice because I have my perfect plan that I made with much research on internet. I can give advice about this, not others to me.
Strange, but I do ask about advice "how to get a life" here. Maybe it's because it's very hard thing.
"next time you'll be able to say hi and build on it." BUILT ON IT? What that means? I say "Hi", they respond "Hi", and?

6. Where i can find list of all places, all activities, all possible hobby's, all everything?

http://www.meetup.com

I enter my city there, there are some meetings. Some might interest me. Should I go? And what they are doing there? I am not sure if I am "dynamic" enough.

7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?

You need to replace the belief that you are autistic, robotic, or plainly not good enough. You are a human being like the rest of us and although may be different from the majority, are smart, confident, charismatic, interesting, unique, fun, funny, etc...

Cool, but I:
-spend all my day at computer,
-don't know where I can go except grocery,
-don't have gf nor friends,
-don't know how to start talking with a human,
-don't know where to meet humans.

I did improve a lot since I started to want being a human, but still have issues listed above. Help me.

8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?

www.meetup.com
Coffee shops
Pick a hobby and find others interested.

Where can find people interested in some hobby? I have many hobbies already, but how to find people?

9. How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such

Why the hell do you want to be a negative person? Do you like hanging out with negative people because I sure as fuck don't. Not being negative is as simple as how you want to perceive a situation. Work on your perception of situations and SMILE often.

Maybe I am negative because my current life is shit compared to my vision of life?

Quit with the TL;DR and go do something, go do something new, go do something out of your comfort zone, and go do it today.

BUT WHAT? WHAT SOMETHING?


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1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?
I don't bother. I only go to socialise at MeetUp group every week at the pub with web designers and software engineers. I don't have tips on talking with strangers. I suspect you should introduce yourself and start a conversation about anything really. I found that people usually want to talk but they don't want to initiate conversation.

How you start talk with that web designers&software developers? And about what you talk with them?
I suspect you should introduce yourself and start a conversation about anything really.
I don't know what "anything" means. Should I approach stranger and say "Hi. I am Nick. What is your favourite colour?" ... or "Hi. I am Nick. Are you interested in neuroscience too?" or "Hi. I am Nick. What pets do you have?".. you see how all those sentences are stupid? People don't say such things.
I found that people usually want to talk but they don't want to initiate conversation.
I found that too, but since I don't know how to initiate, that knowledge isn't helpful in anything.

3. What you can do in your free time other than using computer?
Anything. All you need is initiative. Want to meet friends? Go to some social place and just talk with anyone really. Do some random stuff. Start yoga practice, stetching routine, go for a run, just invite your neighbor to go for a run if you want company, go to gym or swimming pool to improve your looks, meet new people too.

Want to meet friends? Go to some social place and just talk with anyone really.
Really? And how can you say "just talk with anyone", you said that like it was as easy as making simple php script, in reality it's as hard as writing from scratch software as complex like MS Visual Studio in assembler. Maybe I am a bit exaggerating, but still.
And I can do a lot of things, I can drive bike without hands, motorbike, car, truck, I can swim, I can earn money for my living, I can cook food, I can do thousands things, but I can't "just talk with anyone really".
Show me "just talk with anyone really" example dialogs (from your life).
just invite your neighbor
I don't know my neighbors.
go to gym or swimming pool to improve your looks, meet new people too.
How you meet new people? How you meet people at gym or swimming pool? If I went to swimming pool I would swim and then go to home.

4. I can talk with people if there is conversation, but i dont know how to start. How you do that? Please show example conversations
Usually, I jump in to other people conversations. Yesterday, I've been solving math problems in computers lab and three girls have been talking about stuff on algorithms. I just asked what they are doing there and they explained that they try to solve recursive algorithm and it has bugs. So, I helped them to inspect code and just talked about Ukraine, politics and other stuff they were interested in after solving that problem.

Usually, I jump in to other people conversations.
It's rarely possible, maybe at school or eventually at work. But not at bus, at home, at park, at pub (too loud to hear). Also, what if somebody didn't like that you jumped in?
So, I helped them to inspect code and just talked about Ukraine, politics and other stuff they were interested in after solving that problem.
And how did you jumped from computer code to Ukraine? I want to see EXACT conversation from that part of dialog.

6. Where i can find list of all places, all activities, all possible hobby's, all everything?
I searched MeetUp for my city. You can find anything on that website and then just join the group on the meeting place and time. You will be bound to feel comfortable because they usually welcome new members.

Yes, there is lot of in my city too. Do I have to use my real name and surname (on meetup website)?
And how that meetings look like, what do they do?

7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?

INTPs are not robots. To stop thinking too much, go and do something else. Don't expect to achieve different results by engaging in the same activities. As I said, do random stuff. Go play basketball with people, start aikido training or whatever, just do something else and you'll experience different life. It's that simple. If you spend your time on computer, no one knows you exist.

do random stuff. Go play basketball with people, start aikido training or whatever
I can't do "random stuff". I can only do very serious things that I think I can be master at, or at least an expert. And I can't do things like aikido, yoga.
That's one of reasons I am not at pub right now, I don't feel expert in talking, and I don't want to be beginner. I have high exceptations for myself, which has good and bad sides. But if you helped me in becoming advanced talker, I could go and meet people.
I take life too serious. It only results in me feeling bad.

9. How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such
Well, I tend to be pesimistic too. Mainly, because I don't live in a bubble and actually read about history and what are the plans for the future of humanity. Loads of stuff is depressing and you cannot disprove that. But then you should ask what's the point in being worried if you cannot change something? It will simply give you anxiety and won't remove cause of the problem. So, instead I chose to live the life and stop reading so much stuff because I am very tired after analyzing and thinking too much. I used to wake up at night because I was half sleeping all the time due to many ideas in my mind. I chose to stop thinking and since then, I can sleep well and became optimist. My parents were worried I think too much and it was true. Understand that you are physical and mental being and you MUST balance these sides. I was on mental side and thus felt weak and worried allthe time. Get your ass outside for a run and just admire the opportunity to be alive. Also watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArKPZyfZUFs

I feel like im reading about myself, I also read and think very much, and see very bad things going in the world that I can't stop. It's depressing me and making anxiety. I can't sleep too because I think, I just can't stop thinking. I think entire day. Reasons I made this thread is also because I just think, analyze and plan, instead of doing something. I know it's bad for me, as a human I lost more than gained from that thinking, but I can't stop. Lately I'm trying some herb medicines like valerian to aid in sleeping, I see some improvements. But obviously that is not solving the problem, that's just helping on symptoms, not causes.
I am losing my life because of this thinking addiction. And because of computer too. I wish I had gf, friends, I wish I would have a life, go outside, have fun with people. I was such person as a kid and early teenager, I was much happier than now. I don't want to change 180 degrees, I am an INTP and I will stay INTP, and I don't want to stop using computer at all. I also often lose hours on listening to depressing music and thinking about depressing things. I need to stop this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArKPZyfZUFs
Thanks. Will watch this guy more. I watched the video, but can't say much yet. But if I was to die in months now, it's not even possible to describe how would I regret my life. Why did I made this stupid thread, what im scared of, why won't just go anywhere and "do something out of your comfort zone", why I don't challenge myself? I need to start this fast.
I had so great life when I was young, I made more sexual things with womans at 6 than I did later in my life, and I could just talk to any stranger. Then I started to think too much and went 100% computers (there were some reasons though why I did that, but I don't want to tell this). I don't want to be a person who don't think about anything and just eat, piss, sex, work, sleep, but like you said, I can't be 100% mental, as I am a human. I have human needs and I don't hide them - but that's what's also depressing and frustrating, that I have that needs but not doing anything to satisfy that needs. I need to turn on "determination" mode, I could do this when I was younger.
I am also fantasying, a lot. It's because I don't get things at life that I want, so have to fantasy about them. Additionaly, I have several ideas per day, those are ideas for anything. I write all of them but.. I don't implement that ideas.. and some of them are great ideas for buisness but I can't find time to analyze my buisness ideas and choose one/two and start them. However, I can find time for wasting hours daily on reading stupid depressing news on internet or other stupid things.
Tell me, how did you stop thinking?

But now i want to find young virgin (15-18yrs) and have her as gf. Where to find/meet such girls?
Why do you need virgin? Personally, I don't give a damn about that. I care about a person I can talk with about deep stuff, personality and not too much interference to my private space all the time. Also, beauty would be a plus though I am not very big on that. Also, here is logical deduction: A - sitting all the time with computers B - finds a girlfriend; A does not imply B here which means you have to get out of your room and do something different in public space. There, you will meet girls to talk with. As I said, you won't get different results if you won't change your actions.

I want virgin because I am virgin. I wasted my teenager times on computer (I did sometimes go with friends and had some adventures, but not anything with girls). I want to have innocent girl, and that we both start sexual experiences with ourselves. Note: I am not scared some girl would not like I am virgin, or would find I am virgin during sex (if I lied before) as I am pretty sure I would be OK in bed, as for my age. If I wasn't virgin I probably wouldn't care whether a girl is.

12. Where can go alone, where can go with friends?

I thought you analyze stuff so you must have many ideas where to go.

Well, actually yes, I have excel sheet with 72 activities/places, and attributed "flags" to them like: if I can meet friends at this place, if I can go there alone, if can go there with gf, if can go there with friends,...
But would like to add more.

14. What do you think of dating websites?
Never used them and I am neutral about them. In my opinion, you should just ask out a girl in real world. I am not into these websites at all.

Well, same with me, I also prefer very much to meet in real world, you can know more about person (especially if a girl is attractive for you) with 3 meetings in real life than 15 meetings on internet. But would have to exit home and start talking.


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2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.
People are everywhere but it's best to seek new friends at enthusiast conventions or places where people with similar interests congregate because you can safely assume their interests to a degree.

Tell me exact places. List of places. Examples. I have many hobbies but most of them I am doing on computer.

4. I can talk with people if there is conversation, but i dont know how to start. How you do that? Please show example conversations
Aside from the above I suggest just talking, people are generally polite enough to try talking to whoever talks to them and if you don't stop people will talk back, and if you're talking about something that interests them and listen intently when they talk about it they'll have a hard time stopping, people love being listened to when talking about their interests.

Just talking? I don't understand what is this. There is no "just talking" wikipedia article. Show me example dialogs, I want to see how this "just talking" looks like.

5. How do you talk to people/make friends at places such as gym? or pub? or other
Smile, be genuinely happy to see people.

Ah.. so I go near person, look at it, and JUST SMILE! So "brilliant" advice, could have tried before. You just need smile and talk will automatically begin, and also you magically get friends just by smiling.

7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?
Screw that, we are the master race

I don't want nor need to became typical extraversion facebook person. But I went too far with all that analyzing, this thread and this post is an example of that.

10. When i was 6 i was sniffing 6yr old female friend pussy, and i showed her my dick. And i put finger into her ass. Yes i was 6, so was she, and we both enjoyed that. But then i moved out. I moved out a lot in my life. Still i had a chance at my early teens to hav gf and lost virginity BUT then i went totally into computers and wasnt interested in girls at all. I wasn't interested in anything thats not computers. But now i want to find young virgin (15-18yrs) and have her as gf. Where to find/meet such girls?
Seriously dude, creepy.

I don't understand what's creepy about that. And what's creepy/wrong at wanting to have nice gf?

12. Where can go alone, where can go with friends?
Anywhere.

Tried to find address of nearby "anywhere" in my city, failed.

13. What intp can do with girlfriend?
You need instructions?

I need all possible things and then choose things I'd like to do from that.

15. About what you can talk with strangers?
Whatever they want to talk about.

I don't know what they want to talk about.

16. I don't have problem starting talk as long as there is reason i should talk to this person eg.coworker about project we both work. But how to talk without such reasons.
Doesn't matter, just talk, wanting to talk to someone for the sake of talking to them is itself a perfectly valid reason to talk to them.

You don't understand. When I have reason to talk to someone, I know WHAT to talk at beginning, ex.to coworker ABOUT PROJECT WE DOIN', to person who want to rent a room for me ABOUT THE ROOM, and so on. When I go to a random person on street or pub I don't know what to say after "Hi".


========================================================================================================

1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?
1. Learning to talk with strangers is something that just comes with time. You can't just expect to do it. I see you're a keen computer programmer. Well I'm doing a C++ module at university right now and... I wish I could 'just do it'..! But I know it needs time. Everything needs time. It's the same for learning to talk with people. One thing that will help is if you start to spend our time in public places - go to a park, or literally hang around the town/city centre, you'll be surprised how many people end up talking to you if you just sit there on a bench for a while. It's one of my favourite social cheats.

Everything needs time. It's the same for learning to talk with people.
It's not the same. The difference is, when you are shitty talker/lifer and you go to person/pub/anywhere and talk some stupid things you will make an idiot of yourself, you will feel shame. Your self-confidence and self-worth will hurt because you made an idiot of yourself. You don't feel same when you made some stupid c++ code at your home.
That's why I am asking you for advice, to gain basic skills, to not make an idiot of myself.
One thing that will help is if you start to spend our time in public places - go to a park, or literally hang around the town/city centre, you'll be surprised how many people end up talking to you if you just sit there on a bench for a while.
I call bullshit on that. But.. will check. Will go to some parks or somewhere and sit. Before you ask, I look normal, my face dosen't have scars or something.

2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.
2. If you're an INTP, then the only time you ever care about leaving home is when it's for a pesonal MISSION that you've decided to do. Hence most INTPs will only go outside if it's for a trip to the shop. So, make every outside trip into a mission. Often I do this. I know I spend too much time inside, so I decide I should walk to the city. And that is my mission - walk to the city! It takes about 1 hour and luckily I live in London so it's a good adventure every time. If you live in a less city-like place, you could think of any other mission. Maybe... walk to the countryside! Or up a mountain. etc etc. Most importantly, you need a 'reason' to go outside. So make one!"

And that's a very good advice. I can only do missions, I can't "just have fun", "just talk", "just live", but if I made all that a mission, that could work...
And that is my mission - walk to the city! It takes about 1 hour and luckily I live in London so it's a good adventure every time. If you live in a less city-like place, you could think of any other mission.
Currently, I live in one of biggest cities in my country, it's not as big as London but still plenty of places and people. But what "good adventure" are you having when you go? List some examples.

4. I can talk with people if there is conversation, but i dont know how to start. How you do that? Please show example conversations
4. I have no idea how to start conversation. As I said in my answer to question 1, just let the people come to you. Then they have initiated the conversation, and you just need to answer them. Don't just start a conversation for the sake of it. I find that my style of conversation is usually asking people very in-depth questions about their interests, or sharing ideas with them that I think they'll be interested to know.

But they don't initiate conversations with me. Also, I don't even go to any places where people could even meet me, where should I go?

5. How do you talk to people/make friends at places such as gym? or pub? or other
5. There's no special formula for making friends. It just requires repeat contact - eg you happen to talk to them quite a lot, until eventually it feels like more than just an acquaintance. And then everything happens naturally.

Well, you just described that special formula: repeated contact. So I need to meet some people many times and we have to have something in common.

8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?
8. Pub. But try not to become the solo alcoholic who everybody likes but nobody is friends with. I know that's how I'd become if I went to the pub to socialise too much. Alternatively, just take up a hobby and see where it goes. Also, colleges are often good places to make friends. Maybe find a course in something you're interested in...?

Pubs, I was few times and talked to humans. Sometimes they talked me. Will go again to some, but still you can give tips how to talk people there. And, what types of pubs are (ex.sports pub, rock pub, ...)?
About colleges/courses - you better be joking, as I am self-taugh/educated individual, I don't go to such places or ask others for advice (with exceptions - like this thread is). But courses is different than college, so maybe could go. What type of courses exist?

9. How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such
9. It depends if your negativity is depression or pessimism? It's probably the typical INTP pessimism. That's a hard one to overcome. It's not a bad thing though. It's just uber-logic! Eventually you'll get bored of it. My friends and family used to hate my cynical outlook. These days I just don't care any more. Or maybe I just don't vocalise it as much.

It depends if your negativity is depression or pessimism?
Or it might be both. But started when I was about 11.
My friends and family used to hate my cynical outlook. These days I just don't care any more. Or maybe I just don't vocalise it as much.
I bet you just learned to not vocalise it as much, just like me. Often I keep my cynic thoughts just for myself.

10. LOL. How old are you? Finding a girlfriend is the same as finding friends. It needs to happen naturally. And if she likes you, you won't need to think about what course of action to take, because it'll all just 'happen' anyway.

Why do you ask about my age? And it's (finding gf) not as easy taking in fact that I need 15-18 year girl. I won't find such at pubs or other places. Where they spend time? Don't you have sisters/daughters in such ages? Please ask them where they go outside of home.

12. Where can go alone, where can go with friends?
12. You are a human being and you can go wherever you like, whenever you like, alone or with friends, the choice is yours.

I don't know what I like, I spend all time on computer. I don't even know what I can like.

13. What intp can do with girlfriend?
13. This is a tough one. Literally a girlfriend for me is just a person to have with me when I'm doing MY thing. If she enjoys it then that is absolutely brilliant. If she doesn't enjoy it, then she needs to go and do her own thing. It's as simple as that really. So to answer your question.... I'd say the INTP should just do what they always do with their girlfriend/boyfriend.

That's a good answer but take in mind some things are much better when you do them with somebody. I don't want to go now for a walk but if had gf I might want. Also, might be hard at my current position to do MY things with gf, as "MY" things consist of: sleeping, eating at home, computering (using computer) at home, groccery shopping when there is no food left.

14. I joined a dating website. I went on a few dates. The idea, 'in theory' was brilliant (heh standard INTP enjoying theoretical perfection), but it's not reality, it's just another part of the bullshit online simulation of a world. I think Internet dating works for some people, but not for me. You should try it if you want, but my personal opinion is that it isn't a natural form of courtship at all.

14. I see. I don't like facebook'n'shit so probably wouldnt like dating sites too. Also wouldn't feel comfortable putting my pictures and info (hobbies, who I am etc) on internets.

It sounds like you feel overwhelmed by the extroversion-centric society we have today. Don't get so worked up about it. If you're not big on being social or being talkative, that's fine! Just be yourself and live your life. Do what YOU want to do. Only you can do that. When the time comes, I think you'll be absolutely fine.

The thing is I want friends, I want gf. Nobody forces me into this, those are MY needs.
You tell me to do what I want, well.. I want to lick feet of my 16yr virgin gf. Thing is, I don't have it (gf).

 

[Ribald]

The problem cannot be approached directly. You can't try to get a life and succeed. Having a life means genuinely being compelled to do things for their own sake. For as long as you try to "have a life and be human" you will ensure your failure at those very things--a perpetual cycle of delusion and hard awakening.

Since there is now "how" I have no advice to give you. Perhaps the best you can do right now is to make your life trying to have a life. Only through repeated failure will you get so jaded that you stop trying and then begin to find out who you are from within, not by other people's standards.

 

[robott]

Who's that beauty?

 

[Base groove]

Who's that beauty?

(fap fap fap)

Spoiler

 

[Ribald]

WHO HAS BEEN SPYING ON ME????

 

[BigApplePi]

And here i have questions for you, please answer:
I'm glad you said please as I'm watching a movie.
1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?
Other places.
2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.
"Meetups" in USA; dance hall? Parties.
3. What you can do in your free time other than using computer?
Meet an acquaintance and network.
4. I can talk with people if there is conversation, but i dont know how to start. How you do that? Please show example conversations
Small talk to an extrovert. Let them lead.
5. How do you talk to people/make friends at places such as gym? or pub? or other
See #4.
6. Where i can find list of all places, all activities, all possible hobby's, all everything?
Local newspaper. Google your locality.
7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?
Start small. Take notes and expand from there.
8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?
See #6.
9. How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such
Think positive and lean on that.
10. When i was 6 i was sniffing 6yr old female friend pussy, and i showed her my dick. And i put finger into her ass. Yes i was 6, so was she, and we both enjoyed that. But then i moved out. I moved out a lot in my life. Still i had a chance at my early teens to hav gf and lost virginity BUT then i went totally into computers and wasnt interested in girls at all. I wasn't interested in anything thats not computers. But now i want to find young virgin (15-18yrs) and have her as gf. Where to find/meet such girls?
Start with non-virgin. Build on what you learn.
11. Im procastinating, lack of motivation. I have 100 important things to do yet i dont do any. How to get strength, motivation?
Start w baby steps.
12. Where can go alone, where can go with friends?
Start with many and narrow down.
13. What intp can do with girlfriend?
Talk. Share meal, movie, computer.
14. What do you think of dating websites?
Try for experience.
15. About what you can talk with strangers?
People like to talk about themselves.
16. I don't have problem starting talk as long as there is reason i should talk to this person eg.coworker about project we both work. But how to talk without such reasons.See #15. That's your reason.

.

 

[Variform]

I already walked that path, labelling myself with autism and such, but in hindsight I think I was simply shielding myself from taking responsibilities of my own actions.

Can you teach me how you did that? How did you go from shielding to taking responsibility?

 

[Variform]

I don't bother. I only go to socialise at MeetUp group every week at the pub with web designers and software engineers. I don't have tips on talking with strangers. I suspect you should introduce yourself and start a conversation about anything really.

How do you rhyme the above with what is written below?

Anything. All you need is initiative. Want to meet friends? Go to some social place and just talk with anyone really.

It seems weird. You don't bother to talk to strangers but give advice to take initiative and talk to any person "really".

Huh?!

So. Well. How DO you talk to strangers? Explain me this process because I for one cannot seem to do that.

Run me through it. I am standing in a social situation. Let's say, a café. People are drinking, talking to each other. Out there someone roars with laughter. All of them seem somehow connected. I don't see anyone standing sadly against a wall. So, no other INTP's, right? Oh wait, there in the darkness, there is one. He is trying to blend in with the flowery wallpaper. he is looking in his drink, sad, trying not to be noticed for being alone.

Hold on. ah, it is a mirror I am looking into. Ah well. So there is a cute girl, but she is with two guys. Hmm. One of them surely is interested in her or even a boyfriend. Can't go there. I will loook silly and obvious.

There are two guys appearing to have an intimate conversation. Two gays? I love gays. But they might take my interest the wrong way. I am moving deeper into the place.

Here ate a group of people, five of them, 2 girls, 3 guys. Obviously a group of close knitted friends. celebrating some personal victory.

At the bar a line of people, that girl seems nice. Did she just throw me a look? But that guy just whispered in her ear. Hmm. Maybe one of them barfly types. Some skank ho? It will do for one night, look the guy is leaving, going to the toilet. The seat is empty...should I move in. What to say to her?

Cheesy pickup lines are a real no go area, no woman falls for that. Ok, let me drop all ideas of having sex. Let's be friendly. Just, see if that takes the pressur eoff.

Hmm. not really. Am I staring at her? Damn, I didn't notice, turn around quick! Ehm. Is she looking at my back? Where is that mirror. Maybe I can spot her in it looking at me funny.

Okay, I wanna be her friend. Nah, I just want a conversation with a human of Earth for a change. Wtf am I doing here anyway. Look, a single lady comes in. Ah, she is spotted by some guys. One of them approaches her. Ah, they know each other. A date then?

Oh, the dude is back from the toilet. He gestures with his head, let's get out of here. They go out together. I know what they will be doing. Well there are two seats free, so I'll sit there. Maybe someone will come sit next to me. Even a dude will do at this point.

Bartender, gimme another milk. No, can't drink milk. A man drinks something else. Gimme a whiskey. Right on. A man approaches. Sits down next to me with a nod. I should say something. Err...nope, the moment is gone.

------------

You know, somehow your advice sucks. Just take the initiative? Just talk to people? Helloohoo! OP can't do that apparently, THAT is the problem!

And it is mine too. Why are people giving this sort of advice when they do not understand the mechanical omission we have? How do you bodily approach someone, find a clue about what to say and make it look like you are a normal person, without stuttering, overly blushing, making an obvious lonely fuck of yourself?

 

[Base groove]

I can't meet anybody in public, either.

You mentioned 'sad' a few times.... Variform. Maybe stop being sad about it? Maybe nobody wants to connect with you if they feel you're going to bring them down.

Nobody is going to automatically understand you and pity your situation (except maybe an INFJ - who probably won't actually have much pity) or an INFP (who probably won't really understand).

Oh I hope I didn't offer the pretense of having a solution because I don't.

 

[EditorOne]

Many people enjoy talking about themselves.
Many people don't enjoy hearing you talk about yourself.

Striking up a conversation can be done with a comment on some commonality you share with a total stranger, whether it's the weather, a shared bus ride, just about anything. An innocuous comment that brings a response is tantamount to accepting your invitation to converse. A failure to respond should not be given any hidden meaning by you; move along to the next person.

 

[BigApplePi]

INTP needs help: HOW TO GET A LIFE & HOW TO BE A HUMAN

Nothing helps more to become a human than another human. That's why humans tend to cluster. To get there do exactly as EditorOne says. I will add some theory for the fun of it. BTW, robott, are you still there reading all this stuff?

Many people enjoy talking about themselves.
Many people don't enjoy hearing you talk about yourself.

Striking up a conversation can be done with a comment on some commonality you share with a total stranger, whether it's the weather, a shared bus ride, just about anything. An innocuous comment that brings a response is tantamount to accepting your invitation to converse. A failure to respond should not be given any hidden meaning by you; move along to the next person.

Let's say there are a thousand people out there within your radius. You don't want to try all of them as some of them will be bad for you and that's way too much trouble anyway. So you need a screening process. You can pick your own screening process, but what EditorOne said reminded me of this:

I was waiting at a bus stop I don't usually do. Instead of ten minutes I was waiting a half hour. I saw this lady was there longer than I. I said, "I'm waiting here a half hour. What's going on?" (Normally I don't talk to anyone but I was practicing what I learned on this Forum.) She replied and we were off and running. I learned all sorts of stuff about her. When I finally got on the bus she was seated ahead of me. As I passed her we caught each other's eye. It was friendly. We knew we were not foes. I had no reason to further the acquaintance. That was it. To this day I remember her and her friendliness. It was a month ago.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Well, I think I already explained that I don't visit any places. On internets, I don't visit places where could meet anybody and then meet irl.

So? It won't miraculously happen, you either go out or you don't.

Everything what you said seems right, but it's not clearing anything to me. I think I need exact examples of such conversations. Can you write some dialogs (just first few sentence exchanges with people) from your life when you started talking to stranger?
After I see examples, then I will get general concept of this. But I'd prefer real examples/dialogs, that occured in your life's.

This is very complicated to give you a real life example as I don't remember 95% contents of the small talks I have with people. Small talk is unimportant, all I know is that I passed 20 or 30 minutes talking to a stranger and I am bored but I survived it.

So a simple example:
(context, you are waiting for a train at the railway station, it is sunny, you know that trains usually run 30 minutes late, the random is a 30-50 unoccupied guy that has a positive attitude towards you or generally)
(normally I wouldn't talk to anyone in a public enviroment, but it might so happen that you want to be more sociable or hell, you have some intentions behind talking to randoms)
XNTP: Ah, it is beastly hot today, did you hear the forecast for the next 3 days?
random: Yeah, (blah blah blah)
XNTP: Right, I thought that I would enjoy this field trip more, but I already took a few days off and I can bet this train is going to be late again, ( insert a short rant about train services not improving for the last 10 years)
random: Totally, (blah blah blah)

After this, if you were receptive, you probably know a bit about what to do next, maybe he told you something about himself, if not, ask him where he's travelling, why is he travelling at a situation like this etc. etc., be non-commital, as if you don't care about the answers anyway, but show him that you care about what he says, add bits of your personal experiences so that you become more commited and authentic in his eyes.

After that you can talk about neutral topics mostly, inquire more about his personal life, talk about common/shared experiences or interests.

 

[Valentas]

Listen, first of all you should get some perspective. My grandmother was banished to Siberia by Russian forces when they occupied Lithuania. She found herself in howling wind, -40 degrees temperature, little food and a lot of common folk, intelectuals(many INTPs too) who got into such dire situation. It took tremendous amount of collective work to build a shelter, find food, cut through ice to get to the water and just to stay warm. How much freedom she had? As much as nature and ingenuity of a group of people allowed. What did she accomplish? Graduated from medicine course as a dentist from Irkutsk medical school. In such conditions. So, before you whine again how you cannot do this or that, remember that you live in the most free society ever. You have food, water, warm shower and you don't need to think what the next day will bring. You get to sit with your ass on your chair in front of PC talking how bad it is for you and how you wasted time on playing computer games. So, once you put yourself in my grandmother's shoes(you have imagination), consider yourself lucky and feel empowerement in yourself because it is awesome feeling to not worry about fundamental life-saving conditions every day.

I found one guy's video which said: do something dangerous. Go out and start small. Go for a run and do this every day. Go to the doctor to check your heavy metals levels because they cause depression in your mind and body. Then if findings are positive, clean them out. I know some ways and they help. What I am saying is you firstly have to invest in your physiology and then mind will fix itself to be part of society again. Don't lay down on the bed and kill yourself with thoughts. Change your behavior and what you do and something different will happen.

And don't ask for more help because these are words. You need to get up and act. And then act again. And you'll be fine.

 

[Affinity]

Once again tl:dr. I and others have provided our 2 cents. We can't help you if you CHOOSE not to help yourself.

 

[Analyzer]

troll

 

[deadpixel]

This video will give you all the advice you need. it will only take 2 minutes of your time and you can thank me later.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0igLdIH-Zc

 

[Spocksleftball]

Stand up, turn off computer, shower, groom yourself, go outside, away from your comfort zone, sit down in public area (mall, restraunt, park, etc.) observe hominids in natural environmnent. make mental notes on appropriate clothing, facial expressions, topics of conversation, and distances between bodies. Mimic these aspects. when you encounter a hominid, do not talk about science, computers, star wars/star trek, boobies, or the other person's flaws; let their interest drive the conversation, and if you can't fathom what they are talking about just smile and say someting leading like "oh really, I didn't know that".

Girls: they are eat up with self-doubt, uncomfortable about their looks/bodies/mannerisms. They typically try to mimic their favorite magazine/movie star/fashionable friends looks, attitude, and mannerisms. Always let them talk as much as they want about whatever. Smile, look interested, ask them to continue if they stop, answer all questions as though you share their concerns, and do not stare at their boobs.

Sounds sexist, but they are much more difficult than guys to attract. You actually have to make them comfortable and trusting that you are ok with their horribly disfigured selves (which of course is all in their heads).

 

[EditorOne]

Just an asterisk noting that while small talk gets things started, and sometimes is just good for its own sake, the bonus is that the conversation itself can lead to information you find interesting that would forever remain unknown had you not made an effort at human sociability. Eg, while a journalist, I struck up a conversation with an old man attending a town hall meeting who turned out to have been a dispossessed Jewish Lithuanian who avoided Nazi occupation troops 1941-45 then walked out of Lithuania and across much of Europe at the end of WWII to avoid conscription in the Soviet army, subsequently making good in the U.S. and eventually achieving some prosperity in real estate. Since we all put a value on "interesting," that was like a triple helping of a good dessert suddenly materializing out of a boring job assignment.

 

[Spocksleftball]

Eg, while a journalist, I struck up a conversation with an old man attending a town hall meeting who turned out to have been a dispossessed Jewish Lithuanian who avoided Nazi occupation troops 1941-45 then walked out of Lithuania and across much of Europe at the end of WWII to avoid conscription in the Soviet army, subsequently making good in the U.S. and eventually achieving some prosperity.

As a side topic...awesome story!

 

[Infinitum]

Here's for my first post:
1. how to talk to strangers in general? at pubs? at bus stop? at other places?
In my experience I avoid strangers and have little contact with them. In general everyone new I meet, I meet through someone else I know. I would recommend trying to cultivate the relationships you do have with the purpose of expanding your social circle. One way of starting this would either be through your family by telling them your situation and asking them if they know anyone who could be your friend. However, when it comes to talking to plain strangers I found this one blog that gives tips on charisma. These are techniques are simple and explicit enough they can easily be used in most social situations with a reasonable success rate:
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2009/03/20/how-to-be-charismatic-7-powerful-tips-from-the-mentalist/
These techniques can be awkward to start off with, but with some practice they become natural quickly. I also recommend reading up on communication through body language. At one point I had so much fun with creating the perfect system for social charisma through body language that I nearly thought I was an extrovert lol.

2. where you can go outside of home? the only place i go is groccery shop.
I make myself workout enough to stay healthy. A gym could be a good place to start.

3. What you can do in your free time other than using computer?
Being dependent on a computer myself, I know that it is a difficult task finding activities that are properly stimulating enough to be entertaining. Total removal from devices works pretty well. Going for a walk in a park or nice, quiet part of town has helped me remove myself from a computer long enough to be accustomed to the lower level of stimulation. After that I can easily concentrate on a book or art without feeling the need of instant stimulation that computers provide. Reading textbooks in a library is a favorite activity of mine.

4. I can talk with people if there is conversation, but i dont know how to start. How you do that? Please show example conversations
The site I mentioned has helped with me with this, because after I practiced this sort of charisma social conversations become even more natural. While I personally do not like small talk, it is usually the easiest way to begin a conversation. Here is a example of a convo. starter that works with almost any peer that you know:
Me: Hey
Other person: Hey
Me: How's it going?
Other person: Good, and you?
Me: Alright, I've been doing this recently...
The other person will either tell you if they have time for a convo. right now, or it will be obvious in how engaged they are in the conversation.
5. How do you talk to people/make friends at places such as gym? or pub? or other
I guess anything works to begin with. It can be simple as asking someone to pass you something that is on the other side of them, or some other simple task. Speaking of which I recommend reading up on the Ben Franklin effect: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect. It can be very useful, and powerful technique.

6. Where i can find list of all places, all activities, all possible hobby's, all everything?
idk? Yelp?
7. How to stop being intp analyzing robot? i think like robot or some autist, not human. how to start being human?
Using my analysis of social situations and using my robot brain to execute the techniques I've provided above, has given me an upper hand in most social situation. I like to think that I'm a robot who can pass the Turing test for social situations.

8. What places should i go in my free time? What places to meet friends?
I'm still in high school so I don't have much experience with trying to go out to find new friends.

9. How to not be so negativistic person? or should i be such
I avoid looking at the world in a positive or a negative light. Looking through such lenses distorts our already distorted perceptions of the world. Meditation and objective thought can create more neutral emotions.

10.
I believe earlier you did not give your age when asked for it. No offense, but since you are interested in the age group you mentioned and I do not know how old you are I feel uncomfortable with giving advice in this situation.

11. Im procastinating, lack of motivation. I have 100 important things to do yet i dont do any. How to get strength, motivation?
Search motivation on youtube. It works... ...sometimes

12. Where can go alone, where can go with friends?
Anywhere you feel content. Pay attention to where your friends invite you to hangout, and invite them to hangout in similar places.

13. What intp can do with girlfriend?
Depends on girlfriend

14. What do you think of dating websites?
Eh... fear of deception

15. About what you can talk with strangers?
Weather, news, small talk in general

16. I don't have problem starting talk as long as there is reason i should talk to this person eg.coworker about project we both work. But how to talk without such reasons.
Small talk, although it is usually so boring I would rather just not talk with them. However, ask a friendly, older person on the bus to tell you stories. If they are not a creeper, it is extremely interesting and they are ready to give you advice. Just imagine if someone came up to you and asked for you to talk about what you found most interesting. I could talk for hours!

 

[Pyropyro]

Can you teach me how you did that? How did you go from shielding to taking responsibility?

I don't know how to teach you, sorry. I think it's something each person should learn in their own way. I could however, show you my journey.

Basically it first developed when I was forced to take care of my even more immature roommates (doing the bills and dealing with authorities, the occasional food provider and even counsellor). They do enjoy an easier life but it is also a powerless one, they're simply big boys who'll probably starve to death without my and their parents' intervention. They did piss me off but I also saw that I'm like them as well and I need to change that in myself. Thankfully, we parted ways after I've learned enough.

The next step was to force myself to lead a ministry and a Bible group. I've also asked to be mentored by more experienced people as well. (Forced Fe work FTW) The positions were minor and its volunteer work but I do have the ear of ministers and pastors. But such roles come at a price since I have to look after my members (I really don't know how good politicians keep themselves good; good is hard work). However, the roles have been teaching me things thus far:

• You need to do extra effort if you aim to improve your status in life. Whining just doesn't cut it anymore, I have to act or I end up hungry (physically and psychicly)
• People are just like you, they bleed, get hurt, and have goals. The more that I deal with them the more complicated (and thus interesting) they seem.
• It's harder to quit if people are counting on you (but train a successor anyways just in case). No wonder my sisters took a level in badass after giving birth.