INTP me and the other me.

[LAM]

After thinking about myself from a third-person perspective, I came to the conclusion that I behave very differently around a lot of other people. I can be and am occasionally assertive, loud, a leader, very persuasive, energetic, empathetic ("outside" empathy at least), driven when I care, optimistic and I can easily motivate others and myself when I care.

The dilemma I find myself in is that the INTP me and this other me cannot co-exist at the same time. I can either be the INTP me when I am thinking hard or theorising or having intelligent discussions and posing arguments. Or I can be the other me when I need to socialise at any level, give speeches, be a leader, etc.

Although problems do arise; INTP me negates some of 'other' me's forays into socialising whilst other me negates some of my INTP strengths like Ti and relays most of my INTP thoughts to my sub-conscious. Where it slowly develops until I pick it up again.

Ever since I developed 'other' me I was able to befriend my bullies in grade 2 and generally it seems to make me a likable guy. Until INTP me steps in and usually pisses all over 'other' me's progress. then the focus I focus on external influences as 'other' me usually slows INTP me's progress.

I wonder of who I actually am. Its like being in two different mindsets at different times. Although loneliness does get to me when I am 'other" me and my seeming lack of progress in intellectuality bothers "INTP" me. I don't know what I am sometimes . Also they both have different interests, as 'other' me might sudden appear if I read something interesting to him such as stuff on socialising and psychology.

It is far too vague to think that I have a light form of MPD as I would call it slipping into different "mindsets" rather than personalities but that might as well be the case . But I have gotten far more aware of 'other' me in recent times because of inconsistencies in my attitude/mindsets. Although I might be overemphasising mood changes.

but the development of 'other me' would have been logical because of the fact that I was bullied viciously for like 4 years of day-care, kindergarten and year 1 and at that time year 2. I am just going in circles here, I need some outside perspectives please

 

[Trebuchet]

They are both you. You simply use a different set of skills and mental states, different tools, in different situations. That sounds very effective to me.

I am pretty sure everyone does that to some degree. I've heard people discussing work-life balance and talking about who you are at work and who you are at home. I've got a completely different persona when I am teaching, but it is still me. Who else could it be?

You are probably a very complex person, to such a degree that all of you can't be active at once, like a die showing a 3 but hiding a 4.

Also, the world is very complex. You might have more than one reaction to something, and every one of those reactions is genuine. (A simplistic example from my own life: I hate when vacations end, but also relish getting back to normal.) So maybe when you are around people you like, you take the opportunity to show your friendly, likable traits. When you are alone, you use the chance to enjoy contemplation.

Of course, I could be totally off-base here, and you do have MPD or something. But nothing in your post sounds weird to me. To be sure, I used to agonize about the same thing as you, but over time I have come to enjoy and value the phenomenon, and it no longer feels like I am more than one person.

 

[Lucylie]

Re: INTP me and the other me./ just a thought*

I went through a similar problem for a large portion of my life. The loosely tangible idea that got me over that perception hurdle was as follows; I had to decide if there was a difference between my MB type and the person I am comfortable with or better yet, the person that I really want to be. If these things aren't well aligned then this is a good place to start. It all really comes down to accepting or conquering little pieces of yourself one by one, until the whole picture makes sense.

 

[Geminii]

MBTI results aren't hardwired. It's entirely possible to slip from one classification to another, and easier for some than others. Yay for the power of wetware!

 

[LAM]

They are both you. You simply use a different set of skills and mental states, different tools, in different situations. That sounds very effective to me.

I am pretty sure everyone does that to some degree. I've heard people discussing work-life balance and talking about who you are at work and who you are at home. I've got a completely different persona when I am teaching, but it is still me. Who else could it be?

You are probably a very complex person, to such a degree that all of you can't be active at once, like a die showing a 3 but hiding a 4.

Also, the world is very complex. You might have more than one reaction to something, and every one of those reactions is genuine. (A simplistic example from my own life: I hate when vacations end, but also relish getting back to normal.) So maybe when you are around people you like, you take the opportunity to show your friendly, likable traits. When you are alone, you use the chance to enjoy contemplation.

Of course, I could be totally off-base here, and you do have MPD or something. But nothing in your post sounds weird to me. To be sure, I used to agonize about the same thing as you, but over time I have come to enjoy and value the phenomenon, and it no longer feels like I am more than one person.

After thinking about this for a while I came to a very similar conclusion as you (except of course it isn't that refined as a thought in my head as what you wrote.) I was being a bit too melodramatic methinks

 

[EditorOne]

Gives a whole new layer to the old management joke about the flyer posted over the water cooler:

"Floggings will continue until morale improves."

 

[lafmeche]

I have to agree with Trebuchet on this one.

I've talked with other INTPs about this in the past and I tend to think of it as us adapting to the situation. Since our natural tendencies often don't work well in social situations, we sometimes become almost chameleon-like, adopting traits of other personality types in order to get by.

A personal example... I'm pretty big into soccer. I coach seasonal kids' teams, I play friendly games whenever possible, and I also run a kids' pickup league. Each of those has its own personality, which is different from the 'me' that does most other things.

• 'Coach' lafmeche is almost politician-like in dealing with parents and other coaches, and is a natural leader when teaching the kids and running the team.
• 'Player' lafmeche is similar in that he takes charge of the field, but he is no longer as concerned with peoples' feelings. It's about getting things done on the field and winning the game.
• 'Coordinator' lafmeche is something in between. He has to keep control of the field so chaos doesn't break out, but he also has to try to be everyone's 'buddy' to keep the program fun.

My work personality is a blend of the three, trying to juggle relationships and get things done, while still using my INTP strengths. This is a careful balance that I'm still perfecting.

It's taken years for all these different personae to develop and I wasn't always happy about not being 'me'. I've learned, though, that I tend to function better if I let these other versions of me handle certain things. Their toolsets include things that my default one does not.

I say embrace yourself, whatever form that takes at the moment. Be comfortable with yourself and the rest will fall together on its own. Don't worry about whether or not you fit the INTP description every second of every day. Yes, you're weird. So is every damn person on the planet. Most of them just pretend not to be.

 

[Zero]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is the word we're looking for "Persona"?

When I was young I created a persona to appease my mother. Eventually I "created" a persona that could be my argumentative side, as I wanted to separate my appeasing side from my desire to argue and generally be a pain. I came to realize the persona I had created was actually me, it expressed my desires, my motivation, my truest self.

Mixing this with Jung's terms, I came to understand the "persona" I had created as Animus, since the characteristics given to this persona were limited (despite that I enjoyed this persona). In Jung's terms I suppose the "self" would be beyond all this.

 

[ashitaria]

I am experiences the same problems, though to less extreme yet strikingly similar conundrum.

When at school, I make people laugh at ease, I fool around alot, I strike up conversations, I befriend, take charge in projects (sometimes, I'm a bad leader. It's more like doing all the work XD). I also become very empathetic with people. I take into account people's emotions, their tone when communicating, their body language, which otherwise an INTP would be useless at.

Here, though I wouldn't classify myself as intelligent, I take part in alot of brooding, thinking and debates, not to mention psychology and relationship related threads. Thinking about it, since it seems I'm not the only INTP here without this sort of problem, I don't have to doubt I'm an INTP anymore. :smiley_emoticons_mr

 

[Zero]

Indeed, I shall doubt it instead.

 

[ashitaria]

Indeed, I shall doubt it instead.

So I see you are suspicious of me? Not to mention doubtful of me?

Welcome to the INTPs, lad.

 

[Zero]

I'm almost always suspicious or confused.

Or annoyed...

 

[ashitaria]

I'm almost always suspicious or confused.

Or annoyed...

Well thank God I have a big ol' baseball bat to protect myself.

 

[LAM]

I just realised how much potential there is in this.

 

[LAM]

Well thank God I have a big ol' baseball bat to protect myself.

From imaginary threats? I use an imaginary baseball bat. Well actually I use an imaginary flamethrower, but I didn't want to make you think your baseball bat sucks.

 

[Zero]

Well thank God I have a big ol' baseball bat to protect myself.

Nothing will protect you from the Truth.

 

[lafmeche]

Nothing will protect you from the Truth.

Not to get all serious and preachy on everybody, but people seem to be shielded from the truth quite frequently these days :/

 

[Lucylie]

Not to get all serious and preachy on everybody, but people seem to be shielded from the truth quite frequently these days :/

Truth is a bit of a sticky thing in the subjective world we live in.

 

[Zero]

Not to get all serious and preachy on everybody, but people seem to be shielded from the truth quite frequently these days :/

Yes,... yes that's true.

Fine.

Nothing will protect you from.... The power of Friendship.

Ow! It back lashed! It hurts!
It burns us!

 

[ashitaria]

Nothing will protect you from the Truth.

I thought you were Zero. Not the truth. And I'm friends with the truth. Truth can't hurt me.

 

[ashitaria]

From imaginary threats? I use an imaginary baseball bat. Well actually I use an imaginary flamethrower, but I didn't want to make you think your baseball bat sucks.

No, silly! I use my mind against imaginary threats. For big scary neighbors though....

 

[Zero]

I thought you were Zero. Not the truth. And I'm friends with the truth. Truth can't hurt me.

You under estimate the truth.

 

[ashitaria]

You under estimate the truth.

No. You underestimate me.