INTP male with ENTJ female

[Alias]

Hey guys. So I really like this girl in my workplace. She's smart, kind, the list goes on. To set things straight, I am not creeping her out or stalking her. I have built a good rapport as a genius to her. I'm near/with her often, due to the scheduling of things. There is a high possibility of her liking me back. I mistyped her as ENFP, probably because around me she's a bit spontaneous and emotional-seeming. However, I got her into MBTI today (success). One test said ESFJ, in which case I would have left her immediately. But she says she ran out of time and hastily answered things. We then settled on ENTJ, since she is the perfect leader. However, she also defies the stereotype of ENTJs. She's not totalitarian and is very open. She's the only Rational (NT) around me that isn't my brother or mother, who are both INTJs. Being the only Rational, she is really the only person who has listened to my theories and enjoyed it. Everyone else I know is emotional or just plain stupid. I can't even get along with my INFP twin brother. So I've been feeling very isolated. Every time I rant about something or put something under merciless logical scrutiny, everyone either gets offended or tells me not to offend others. Except for her. She listens to my ideas, asks questions, I answer, and we come to similar conclusions. No one else accepts me when I analyze. My friends are really cool, but they're ISFP, ENFP, and ESTP. When I analyze and scrutinize, the ENFP and ISFP get offended or defensive, and the ESTP usually gets bored or doesn't follow along. In short, how do I start to talk to her more? Should I tell her that I want to be closer friends with her? I'll probably do that, but how?

EDIT: To clarify, I just want to approach her more easily so that I can talk to her more. Nothing more than just being friends. Also, the 'friend zone' doesn't exist.

 

[TheManBeyond]

she'll leave you behind when the time comes that's the only true thing
start to get over it

 

[Alias]

What's that supposed to mean? I just want a closer friendship with her. Of course everything is futile. But she hasn't left me behind or been with me in the first place. I'm not even sure about the ENTJ thing. Maybe she's ENTP, that also makes sense.

 

[Helvete]

she'll leave you behind when the time comes that's the only true thing
start to get over it

Probably that when/if she gets a boyfriend it could cause troubles for your friendship, in which case she will leave you behind I think is what this means.

--

are you sure you only want to be friends? You haven't noticed any attraction?

 

[Alias]

I may be attracted to her, she may be attracted to me, but it's obvious that she is more attractive than me, because other guys fall for her looks and fail to keep up with her intelligence. Here's a picture of a German expressionist painter who looks like me minus my glasses. I just want it to start out as a friendship, then grow from there.

 

[The Gopher]

"in which case I would have left her immediately." aww how sad, can't be friends with a smart, happy, spontaneous person simply because she's black *cough* sorry I mean ESFJ.

 

[Alias]

"in which case I would have left her immediately." aww how sad, can't be friends with a smart, happy, spontaneous person simply because she's black *cough* sorry I mean ESFJ.

Nice. I just wanted to point out the fact that this would have given us 0% common ground. It also tested her wrong because she was in a hurry to get random answers in there. She then got ENTJ. But being with an ESFJ would sort of be like having a relationship with Oprah.

 

[Brontosaurie]

Nice. I just wanted to point out the fact that this would have given us 0% common ground. It also tested her wrong because she was in a hurry to get random answers in there. She then got ENTJ. But being with an ESFJ would sort of be like having a relationship with Oprah.

oprah is ENFJ, big difference

ESFJ has a silly speculative side due to Si-Ne (Ni-Se is always less tolerant of a certain silly open-ended non-prideful mode of interaction) and Fe-dom which needs harmony and coop. not bad at all for INTP. easily more compatible than ENTJ imo. ESFJ will want stability and tradition but allow playful banter and hypothesizing as an activity. ENTJ will engage intellectually at first but then find you too loopy and loose and indecisive if you are INTP. ESFJ is industrious too but will find your meditative, reflecting nature a valid complement whereas ENTJ will just see lazy, failed smarts. and underneath they're quite jealous of our thorough intellect as compared to their cheap robotic panicky and bull-headed approach. INTP-ENTJ relationships are resentful and stagnant.

nome of this is final or based on any evidence at all - am just playing (<--- probably shows but gotta make sure i'm not exerting undue influence)

 

[Alias]

oprah is ENFJ, big difference

ESFJ has a silly speculative side due to Si-Ne (Ni-Se is always less tolerant of a certain silly mode) and Fe-dom. not bad at all for INTP. easily more compatible than ENTJ imo. ESFJ will want stability but allow playful banter and hypothesizing. ENTJ will engage intellectually at first but then find you too loopy and loose and indecisive if you are INTP. ESFJ is industrious too but will find your more meditative, reflecting nature a valid complement whereas ENTJ will just see lazy, failed smarts.

Ah. I got the N wrong for Oprah, then. She isn't the common ENTJ, because she's not as militaristic and totalitarian as one may think from ENTJ, and sometimes she can be clumsy/loose/indecisive. Again, she may be ENTP. She's complimented my intelligence multiple times, so I don't think my reflective, introspective nature will cause much of a problem. I'm more envisioning me giving her ideas, us discussing it, then her carrying them out. We've done things like that before, and that's usually how things work with INTPs and ENTJs.

 

[Brontosaurie]

Ah. I got the N wrong for Oprah, then. She isn't the common ENTJ, because she's not as militaristic and totalitarian as one may think from ENTJ, and sometimes she can be clumsy/loose/indecisive. Again, she may be ENTP. She's complimented my intelligence multiple times, so I don't think my reflective, introspective nature will cause much of a problem. I'm more envisioning me giving her ideas, us discussing it, then her carrying them out. We've done things like that before, and that's usually how things work with INTPs and ENTJs.

if chemistry is good, that trumps any typological generalization. but awareness of some possible trends may be helpful.

typing is hard. i've known MBTI for 10 years and only recently am i getting confident in typing. adding to that, some people just aren't very skewed and there's little point in trying to fit them into a type then. maybe this girl is a fairly well-rounded person?

 

[Alias]

if chemistry is good, that trumps any typological generalization. but awareness of some possible trends may be helpful.

typing is hard. i've known MBTI for 10 years and only recently am i getting confident in typing. adding to that, some people just aren't very skewed and there's little point in trying to fit them into a type then. maybe this girl is a fairly well-rounded person?

Yeah, she's really well-rounded, which makes her an even more tolerable ENTJ, instead of a militaristic ENTJ. Which is why, regardless of her type, I want to become closer to her.

 

[viche]

In Socionics INTP - ENTJ pairing is called contrary relations.

They are kind of attractive and intriguing from a distance, but close up not very satisfying and kind of awkward (including sex). I guess it's alright though for a short-term relationship.

Relationship guide by type for INTPs -- bookmark this for future reference, it's like super-helpful

 

[Alias]

In Socionics INTP - ENTJ pairing is called contrary relations.

They are kind of attractive and intriguing from a distance, but close up not very satisfying and kind of awkward (including sex). I guess it's alright though for a short-term relationship.

Relationship guide by type for INTPs -- bookmark this for future reference, it's like super-helpful

That makes sense, but there's no reason in isolating and judging everyone by type. This woman is very well rounded, and has more well-developed emotions than other cold ENTJs. I just really want a person with which I can talk to intellectually. And she's the only Rational near me who enjoys hearing me talk.

 

[Cherry Cola]

"in which case I would have left her immediately." aww how sad, can't be friends with a smart, happy, spontaneous person simply because she's black *cough* sorry I mean ESFJ.

This lol.

Also your way of knowing the types of people around you is having them take online mbti test which give results that are wrong like half the time or more?

Are you sure you are INTP OP?

The whole OP just screams "I am a guy who has somewhat recently discovered MBTI and now sees everything around me with MBTI-colored glasses, wielding the personality system as if though it were a theory of everything"

The way you blame your inability to interact effectively solely on other people is just ugh. I'm not really seeing much in terms of self applied logical scrutiny.

 

[Alias]

This lol.

Also your way of knowing the types of people around you is having them take online mbti test which give results that are wrong like half the time or more?

Are you sure you are INTP OP?

The whole OP just screams "I am a guy who has somewhat recently discovered MBTI and now sees everything around me with MBTI-colored glasses, wielding the personality system as if though it were a theory of everything"

The way you blame your inability to interact effectively solely on other people is just ugh. I'm not really seeing much in terms of self applied logical scrutiny.

I am getting a bit too caught up in MBTI, thanks for the reality check. Wow. After reading my original post, you're absolutely right. I wasn't able to go two sentences without using an acronym. I need to tone this down. I guess I expressed my struggles in wanting to connect with someone completely wrong. It really is me blocking myself from interacting well. All I can say now is "Oh god how was I so stupid?". Let's just close this thread and I'll make a new one about just approaching people. Thanks for the help, Cherry Cola.

Edit: I'm new here, how do I close/delete a thread?

 

[Vion]

You have more senses than just your eyes. I suggest smothering yourself in cocoa butter, wearing a plaid shirt and singing a few songs with good baritone.

If she picks up that you are being too forward just lean in and whisper to her, "I can do this myself, I don't need to get into your panties... I'm already wearing them."

 

[Alias]

You have more senses than just your eyes. I suggest smothering yourself in cocoa butter, wearing a plaid shirt and singing a few songs with good baritone.

If she picks up that you are being too forward just lean in and whisper to her, "I can do this myself, I don't need to get into your panties... I'm already wearing them."

What songs do you recommend? I like the George Carlin quote you have. One of my all-time favorite comedians.