INTP Likeablility

[Lol]

So I've got my first job at 18 years old working at mcdonalds. Mostly when I'm there im on the drive through and have to deal with a lot of customers throughout the day.
As I'm new im kinda slow on the till which can cause queues to stack up and people get andry/upset when I get their orders wrong.

But even when this does happen, when I communicate to them face to face I've never had a customer who was outright angry/rude towards me. Even my co workers have noticed that customers never seem to get angry towards me and I generally get along very well with the customers that I serve.
When I do get customers that are slightly irritated I just look at them maintining eye contact and they seem to calm down.
Is it something about the INTP personality that has a certain charm to it or makes it hard to get angry to?

I look forward to hearing your thought/experiences.

 

[Alias]

INTPs can sometimes be really chill and friendly, just not extraverted. Also, I think there's a certain charm to INTPs in that we can think up a storm but usually don't have an inherent desire to impose power like other types might.

 

[_whispers_]

I'm often told that I have a relaxing presence. People say that it's my willingness to discuss any topic, give them useful advice and not judge them/react emotionally. I think those are very INTP traits.

 

[Anktark]

"Oh my god, s/he is going to kill me! Just look at those eyes!.. Oh god, I must calm down and not make any sudden movements. I will just get my order to not provoke them and then get the hell away AFAP."

 

[DrGregoryHouse]

INTPs can sometimes be really chill and friendly, just not extraverted. Also, I think there's a certain charm to INTPs in that we can think up a storm but usually don't have an inherent desire to impose power like other types might.

this

 

[Sinny91]

Lots of people really like me, even when I'm murdering them in my head or completely indifferent to their existance... My whole 'nod and smile' routine is apparently very effective.

 

[Yellow]

I had similar experiences in my youth, and I've learned to capitalize on them as I've aged. It works on babies, children, and animals too. Unless you belong to a demographic that the other party has significant issues with, then it works like magic for brief encounters. It forces others to regard you as an empathetic figure, and then it requires them to match your calmness.

If you need it to work with someone long term, they either need to be generally rational, or you need to throw in some sneaky behavioral programming.

 

[_whispers_]

I had similar experiences in my youth, and I've learned to capitalize on them as I've aged. It works on babies, children, and animals too. Unless you belong to a demographic that the other party has significant issues with, then it works like magic for brief encounters. It forces others to regard you as an empathetic figure, and then it requires them to match your calmness.

If you need it to work with someone long term, they either need to be generally rational, or you need to throw in some sneaky behavioral programming.

What kind of sneaky behavioral programming would you recommend?

 

[Sinny91]

Positive and negative reinforcement.. Carry a box of sweet's with you and distribute them as appropriate aha. Most people are susceptible to animal conditioning.

 

[Sinny91]

What, condition them?

 

[RicBC]

Positive and negative reinforcement.. Carry a box of sweet's with you and distribute them as appropriate aha. Most people are susceptible to animal conditioning.

Many musical bands did use that susceptibility.
They use what was been preprogrammed into the beings heads to influence them to like them (the bands), to the point of those beings allowing themselves to become their "fans".

 

[Sinny91]

I think I see the point you're making, but EV is really not a good example to use. Hip Hop would be a strong example.

 

[RicBC]

sorry i edited and reposted my post as i found the first one to come off as rude.

conditioning in this case is:
Mind ego contains the program... "wanting to be liked" = gives positive feelings energy in return inside the mind itself.. which the being becomes addicted to in the case of the music fans

 

[RicBC]

yes... hip hop and swag kids came to mind too, as a good and very contemporary example of that conditioning taking place...

i have been feeling shocked when realizing the extent to which it is happening

 

[Sinny91]

That's what happens when you mix music and the occult.. Boyonce has been completely engulfed by her Daemon Sasha and is a good case study for observing these artists absorbing the energies of their fans.

 

[Pyropyro]

That's what happens when you mix music and the occult.. Boyonce has been completely engulfed by her Daemon Sasha and is a good case study for observing these artists absorbing the energies of their fans.

How about Madonna then?

 

[Sinny91]

Meh, I'm sure she just whore's her self out, no strings attached.

ETA: She dabbles, was involved years ago, she's a 'lifer' like Bob Dylan.

 

[Yellow]

What kind of sneaky behavioral programming would you recommend?

It can range, depending on the person and your relationship. Using touch, body language, and tone strategically help. That and key phrases, praise, planned ignoring, and themes. When you are methodical with these things, you can make up for a lack of instinct for manipulation.

 

[computerhxr]

Yellow has the right idea. People are programmable. Understanding the MBTI allows you to tweak your approach to better suit the social situation.

It boils down to mirroring. If you stay calm and non-reactive, then their behavior will tend towards calm. If you react to them and get defensive, then they will mirror that behavior.

Mirroring works for a lot of different things. If you notice their body posture (or language), and mirror it. Then slowly start to adjust your posture, they will follow. Most people are like sheep and will follow the dominant personality (leader/alpha). Monkey see; monkey do.

I use mirroring frequently and it's highly effective. Sometimes I keep track of phrases that people use so that I can use them later to break down their defensive system. When you act like them, they will feel like they know you and feel more comfortable with you.

Yellow mentions ignoring, which is a great tool as well. The most effective way to use it is in cycles. You alternate between lots of positive energy, and then ignoring, followed by more positive energy. This is intended to make people feel the pain of loss, followed by the endorphins released by the positive reactive energy. It's part of what makes drugs addictive, as well as making YouTube addictive.

Yellow also mentions kino. This is a touchy subject . When someone has a positive feeling or emotion, you can anchor that feeling. You can anchor it to a phrase, or to a touch. Consistency establishes a solid anchor. I heard a story about a guy doing this with his wife when she would climax. He would squeeze the back of her arm every time. After a while, he could just squeeze her arm and she would flip out. She left him because she couldn't take it.

One thing to remember is that anchors are established throughout a persons life -- naturally. So people have lots of pre-established anchors. Marketers use these to manipulate people. Think of black people who react to the N-word. It's anchored and very powerful. People have lots of positive and negative anchors with varying weights. They may not react, or they may overreact. I like the MBTI because you can imagine a persons narrative, and assume anchors that they would have. You can also assume by how they look or what country they are from.

Again, I think Yellow is alluding to what I am saying. It's something that you have to study and practice to understand. I just want to give some pointers if anyone is interested in learning how to have more presence and influence over your own life, and those around you. My two cents is to use it in a way that everyone comes out a winner. Don't manipulate people just to hurt them because it will come back and bite you in the ass.

 

[The Gopher]

Also there are generally three types of people that reads and reacts to manipulation and how it works. The type of people that go oh how horrible! The type that goes oh so that's how it works maybe I could use this and the type that goes OMG this personality test describes me perfectly!

 

[INTPWolf]

I found that i acquired a program, of sorts for dealing with any particular kind of customer. Once i had the customer figured out there was a set list of things that needed to be said, but i worked autoparts, so it was a lot more complex than just standard retail job. It got to the point where i didn't even have to think at work anymore, boring, i took the job to help people with problems and as an introduction to cars, not function as an autonomous robot spitting answers to uneducated people.

 

[_whispers_]

I've actually learned to do a lot of the things mentioned here through trial and error. But how do you start touching people? Randomly touching someone feels so awkward that I can't do it even on my most social days. If it's something like a hug for hello/goodbye or a handshake then it's fine, but randomly during a conversation? No idea.

 

[PmjPmj]

The few INTPs I know (all working in the Type field, as it happens - Katherine Hirsh being one) are extremely pleasant and very easy to be around. They definitely have a warmth and sincerity about them, and also a kind of childlike fascination with things.

Compared to my INTJ self, there's a huge disparity. I always thought I was quite a warm individual, and so could never understand why I'd get into various conflicts at work, etc. It's only recently that I've had it all brought into the light (through some of said INTPs and others). Inadvertent cunt mode ahoy - all of my life, pretty much.

I'm working on it ¬.¬

 

[Lol]

I've actually learned to do a lot of the things mentioned here through trial and error. But how do you start touching people? Randomly touching someone feels so awkward that I can't do it even on my most social days. If it's something like a hug for hello/goodbye or a handshake then it's fine, but randomly during a conversation? No idea.

Just put one hand on their shoulder/arm when you want to emphasize a point you're making or when saying hello or goodbye.

Make strong eye contact when you do it as well.

 

[Alias]

The most likeable, chill INTP I know about is Steven Serge (a.k.a STAR_), a YouTube user I watch. He's pretty chill in most of his videos, but his crazy ideas and sense of humor still let him have fun, especially with his ENFP friend. HIs overall attitude is passive and calm, and he has stated before that he's still a perfectionist with videos and is dedicated to not pumping out crap for views.

 

[computerhxr]

I've actually learned to do a lot of the things mentioned here through trial and error. But how do you start touching people? Randomly touching someone feels so awkward that I can't do it even on my most social days. If it's something like a hug for hello/goodbye or a handshake then it's fine, but randomly during a conversation? No idea.

Some people actually desire to be touched, and others find it uncomfortable and repulsive. You have to read body language and understand different cultures.

I've found that mirroring actually helps with kino. If you are uncomfortable doing it, then you will make the other person feel uncomfortable. It best to not look where you are touching because that makes you look very unnatural. Confidence is key.

If you notice that someone is touchy then they usually don't mind being touched. So practice on them.

Honestly, I don't know why you would want to touch people. Unless you're trying to seduce someone. I don't really find it very useful for other situations. Is there some reason that I should know about?

 

[_whispers_]

Just put one hand on their shoulder/arm when you want to emphasize a point you're making or when saying hello or goodbye.

Make strong eye contact when you do it as well.

This is such a good advice. Thank you. *stares into your eyes**squeezes your arm*



Is this as uncomfortable for you as it is for me?

Some people actually desire to be touched, and others find it uncomfortable and repulsive. You have to read body language and understand different cultures.

I've found that mirroring actually helps with kino. If you are uncomfortable doing it, then you will make the other person feel uncomfortable. It best to not look where you are touching because that makes you look very unnatural. Confidence is key.

If you notice that someone is touchy then they usually don't mind being touched. So practice on them.

Honestly, I don't know why you would want to touch people. Unless you're trying to seduce someone. I don't really find it very useful for other situations. Is there some reason that I should know about?

I was just being curious about what works for others. I tried touching people when I was in university and would meet a lot of new people, but I always had to make a conscious effort and it never really felt right even when it was someone I clicked with. So I concentrated on other things like tone of voice, postures, engaging people on topics and so on.

Do you need to touch people when seducing them?

 

[Yellow]

I've actually learned to do a lot of the things mentioned here through trial and error. But how do you start touching people? Randomly touching someone feels so awkward that I can't do it even on my most social days. If it's something like a hug for hello/goodbye or a handshake then it's fine, but randomly during a conversation? No idea.

It's really, really weird at first when it's not with an intimate partner, but as long as you don't act like it's weird to you, then it generally works.

For comforting, rapport building, or creating the illusion of having charisma, there are clear gender rules and cultural rules to keep in mind when touching people. Upper arms and shoulder blades are a good, safe start. This is best done during transitions -- when coming in to stand next to someone, when sitting down next to them, when approaching them, passing them, or handing them something. Also leaning in and saying something quietly just to them, combined with touch, makes the exchange more meaningful. This works even if it's a simple "I like your face", or whatever you kids say these days.

Then there is nonsexual touching with sexual partners to make them feel closer to you or more loved. Here, the same arm and shoulder blade touches work to increase intimacy. Of course, it becomes even more gender-specific. A woman putting her hand on a man's forearm is often used to subtly soothe, and a man putting his hand on a woman's upper arm or the small of her back is generally meant to gently guide. But the other way around would be really awkward (or so I imagine)

In all cases, it should be noted that manipulative touches must be at least somewhat welcomed and appropriate for your specific relationship, or they will produce a paradoxical effect.

Do you need to touch people when seducing them?

Yes. Touching helps.

 

[Lol]

This is such a good advice. Thank you. *stares into your eyes**squeezes your arm*



Is this as uncomfortable for you as it is for me?

:

Was that sarcasm?
Not in such a serious manner lol, keep it playful.

 

[Brontosaurie]

this thread took a worrying turn from "we are intrinsically awesome" to "what can we do to improve ourselves".

 

[tommarkc]

I don't know about special powers about making people calm or touching of any kind, but I noticed something: I can get trust from people younger than me with no problem. I accept them as they know what they are doing, give advices, and listen to what they have to say. I ask them a lot, and explain my decisions based on what they told me a lot. Often I offer the help and joke a lot too. And I often say "tell/ explain me about..."

Really, I'm like a magnet.

 

[Sixup]

I mostly just let the other person do most of the talking, then riff a bit off of what they said, sometimes expanding or pivoting on a topic, depending on my mood or interest in the topic or person (and write long run-on sentences). I think this is often what makes people like us--they get to talk a lot and we can keep it interesting.

 

[INTPINTP]

I think INTPs have mastered "how not to rock the boat" so to speak. Being able to diffuse tense situations through experience and observation seem to be a natural INTP trait.

 

[SpaceYeti]

We're calm and we're chameleons.