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INTP girl

GHouse

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There is a girl I like who I am pretty sure is an intp(I am also an intp), but I am having trouble figuring out if she likes me back, us intps tend to be pretty reserved with our feelings and not very good at reading other's feelings. we have a lot in common, and I talk to her a lot but mostly in a school related setting. How do I figure out if she likes me back?
 

EyeSeeCold

lust for life
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[bimgx=600]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/creepy.png[/bimgx]
 

The Gopher

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well unlike most INTP I can tell someone's feelings very well hovever another INTP might be a challenge.
 

GHouse

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Yea, I was trying to think of how I act when I like someone and it didn't really help. She obviously likes me to some extent because she talks to me a lot, but i am finding her harder to read than other girls.
 

aptx4869

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I can relate. This is exactly what happened between me and this INTP guy I know. Trust me, she is probably looking for clues from you just as much as you are from her. And being the oblivious INTP she is, she probably wouldn't notice even the most blatant signs. And especially with girls we don't normally make first move so we'd like to be 100% sure that the feelings are mutual. If you'd like to know what she thinks, ask her. It's that simple. Be open and honest.
And try to state your intention. So don't play mind games or anything. For example, the guy I know once stated that he's going to the movies to watch X, and he would say things like.. "you probably wouldn't like that movie huh?". And I really had no idea what to say because even though I didn't like that movie so much I would've accompanied him had he asked. So I hope you know what I mean. And he always says things like "we should do horror movie marathon one day" and all I could say was "yeah..". I wasn't sure if he was into me or he's just messing with my head. And when we're having conversation we would feed off each other since we have similar perceptions on things and we would view things from the same angle and he would joke things like "omg we're so getting married" and stuff like that, but he never actually asked me out. Ya know what I mean? So my advice, go for it, ask her how she feels about you, or ask her out on a date. It's that simple.
 

Taniwha

Te Aho
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[bimgx=600]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/creepy.png[/bimgx]

Right on the money, that's exactly what I'm like.
I generally don't like it when guys try to hit on me or ask me out. You've got to know me as a friend first, and even then you have to be compatible with my personality, mind set and moral conduct.

To the OP, good luck. ;)
(You will need it) :p
 

gruesomebrat

Biking in pursuit of self...
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Yeti, I hope you meet my sister one day... try telling her that everyone likes coffee
 

GHouse

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She is cute, and neither of us like coffee.
 

EyeSeeCold

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Are you guys both asexual or something?
 

Dimensional Transition

Bill Cosbor, conqueror of universes
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If she really is an INTP she would like you probably. It's amazing to find another INTP, and if you have a lot to talk about, that's good.
But don't listen to me too much. I am very bad at this kind of stuff as well, I have a similar thread haha.
 

SpaceYeti

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She is cute, and neither of us like coffee.
Wait... do you have Dissociative Identity Disorder, or are you a different dude?

And if she's cute, she must like coffee. You take cute chicks to coffee places. It's not for the coffee, it's for the talking. She can have a bagel or something if she doesn't want delicious, delicious coffee. However, it'll be more difficult for her to get into my pants if she talks down about coffee.
 

DreadfulFlyingGlove

Fussy Britches
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Well the very good news is she likes your mind, which is paramount with an INTP (IMO). No clue whether she's physically attracted to you, BUT, there was a dude in college that I at first found kind of physically repulsive. Then I really got to know him, and to this day his has one of my favorite brains of anyone EVER. I ended up crushing on him HARD, and became very physically attracted to him. MOTS, prospects are good. Be gently direct about how you feel.
 

Melkor

*Silent antagonist*
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[bimgx=600]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/creepy.png[/bimgx]


Wow... Thats eerily accurate.

Though I imagine I'd have a lot more to think on the matter.
 

sFalu

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Trust me, she is probably looking for clues from you just as much as you are from her. And being the oblivious INTP she is, she probably wouldn't notice even the most blatant signs. And especially with girls we don't normally make first move so we'd like to be 100% sure that the feelings are mutual. If you'd like to know what she thinks, ask her. It's that simple. Be open and honest.


Yes, I'm an INTP woman, to be honest and streight, It works if she likes you.;)
 

SpaceYeti

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The worst thing that can happen is that she's horribly offended and kills you with a flamethrower after disemboweling your entire family.

The best thing that could happen is sex.

The choice is obvious.
 

subdude

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There are some people (especially those who are very much non-INTP) who will say it's bad to become friends with someone you want to date, as if becoming friends first ruins that possibility. That may be true with some people, but I'd guess that anyone who is (or who seems like) an INTP is not the sort who will close the door on being more than friends just because you've become good friends first. So, I would recommend just trying to show interest as a friend at first. (You're not in a rush, I hope.) Given enough time, friends who are attracted to each other will figure it out, and it certainly will lead to better things rather naturally. But if she's not attracted to you, you'll likely still come out ahead having become friends with her, and however bad it feels if she doesn't have similar feelings for you, it probably won't be as bad as asking her out on a real date before becoming friends. If she becomes your friend yet never more, she will likely help you understand other women better. Back in the day, long before I was married, I had a lot of friends I wanted to date. They didn't seem to have the same feelings for me, but even so, it's nice to have good-looking friends. Good luck though. Hope it leads to more than just friendship.
 

Underscore

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The worst thing that can happen is that she's horribly offended and kills you with a flamethrower after disemboweling your entire family.

The best thing that could happen is sex.

The choice is obvious.

I must say, that is nicely put.
 

ApostateAbe

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I have had rejections that are not as bad as in that xkcd comic, but every rejection I have ever had (I have had many) is a renewed shattering of my delusion that I am a desirable man, and it wasn't worth the learning experience or any other ad hoc benefit I may have scavenged from the experience. It is easy to encourage others to take every opportunity to pick up on the cute chicks, but odds are that they themselves are either sexually-desirable (and it is easy for them) or they simply do not practice what they preach. Men gain status and attractiveness as they age, and I figure it is better just to wait until you gain the status and the confidence that comes along with it.
 

DarkGreen

Mmm Tasty
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Scream your confession at her and run away. You'll find out on facebook later whether she accepted you or not.
 

EyeSeeCold

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I have had rejections that are not as bad as in that xkcd comic, but every rejection I have ever had (I have had many) is a renewed shattering of my delusion that I am a desirable man, and it wasn't worth the learning experience or any other ad hoc benefit I may have scavenged from the experience. It is easy to encourage others to take every opportunity to pick up on the cute chicks, but odds are that they themselves are either sexually-desirable (and it is easy for them) or they simply do not practice what they preach. Men gain status and attractiveness as they age, and I figure it is better just to wait until you gain the status and the confidence that comes along with it.

Truth.

I don't even know how I expect myself to get into a relationship when I next to never speak up when I feel for someone. But then again it's mostly because I'm not sure of how committed I am (in addition to being uncertain of the other's attraction) and so I wait until my feelings are so intense that I burn with desire.
:hoplite_sword_yell:
 

SpaceYeti

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The trick is to not look for a relationship. You may have heard it, and it may seem like it wouldn't work, but just be you and take a chance if you see one, and it'll happen. I've only been with 8 girls my entire life, which is about one per every 1.5 years since I've started. Of course, one of those women took five of those years. The fact is, however, that it happens. It's basically inevitable.
 

ApostateAbe

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The trick is to not look for a relationship. You may have heard it, and it may seem like it wouldn't work, but just be you and take a chance if you see one, and it'll happen. I've only been with 8 girls my entire life, which is about one per every 1.5 years since I've started. Of course, one of those women took five of those years. The fact is, however, that it happens. It's basically inevitable.
The human population is filled with a large variety of conflicting advice about how men can attract girls. My theory is that it generally takes these two things:
  1. Power
  2. Good looks
Not only is it the reality apparent from observing people day to day, but it also makes perfect Darwinian sense. If you have one or both of those two things, then you can follow anyone's hair-brained advice about how to attract women, and all the women who fall into your hands regardless will attribute it to something else about you.
 

EyeSeeCold

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^ Limited wisdom.
 

SpaceYeti

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The human population is filled with a large variety of conflicting advice about how men can attract girls. My theory is that it generally takes these two things:
  1. Power
  2. Good looks
Not only is it the reality apparent from observing people day to day, but it also makes perfect Darwinian sense. If you have one or both of those two things, then you can follow anyone's hair-brained advice about how to attract women, and all the women who fall into your hands regardless will attribute it to something else about you.
I'll take it as a compliment.
 

ApostateAbe

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This is the sort of ideas that really need to be tested with a controlled detailed scientific study, and I see no good reason why it can not be, except that there is no funding. If I get rich, I'll start a foundation for such research grants.
 

ApostateAbe

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How would you fund such a study without influencing the outcome?
The foundation I had in mind would have the mission of finding answers to tough questions important to popular culture but otherwise overlooked by science. The goal of the study would be to answer the question, "What attributes of men maximize their sexual activity with women?" There would be no specific conclusion desired or revealed by the funding source, only the objective truths as revealed by the study.
 

ApostateAbe

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That... didn't answer my question.
It answered the question, and I think maybe the problem is that you didn't like the answer, or something, I don't know. You can clarify the question and maybe I can give you an answer that is more appropriate.
 

SpaceYeti

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How would you spend the funds such that your spending them did not influence the outcome of the study. You can't just build a bar and see who hits it off, because most couples don't meet at bars, it's just where hook-ups are fairly common. What do you do TO study the subject? How do you keep it blind, what's your control group, etc? I'm an investor, sell me the study.
 

ApostateAbe

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How would you spend the funds such that your spending them did not influence the outcome of the study. You can't just build a bar and see who hits it off, because most couples don't meet at bars, it's just where hook-ups are fairly common. What do you do TO study the subject? How do you keep it blind, what's your control group, etc? I'm an investor, sell me the study.
That is a sound objection, I'll request proposals from the scientists of the foundation, and I'll get back to you in a month. I'll suggest the idea of employing men who are each assigned one or more popular methods out of a list to form sexual relationships with women, such as:
  • Be yourself.
  • Focus on your talents.
  • Dress well.
  • Be a jerk.
  • Be funny.
  • Act rich.
  • Act foreign.
  • Be with friends.
  • Be courteous.
These men will be given the training and equipment they need to fulfill these roles, and they will not reveal to the women that they are in a scientific experiment. After a certain time period, they will each switch to a new role. They will report detailed results to the scientists.
 

CoryJames

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To the OP. You should ask her out on a date. If she says no, she doesn't like you. If she says yes, she either likes you or is open minded about you, and you will have the opportunity to figure out which and better your standing with her over the course of the date.
 

EyeSeeCold

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To the OP. You should ask her out on a date. If she says no, she doesn't like you.
If she says no she's uncomfortable with the question.
 

CoryJames

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Ehh...in my experience a girl will only say "no" in the case that she really can't even see the possibility of liking you. Girls generally don't turn down dates. This is info I have learned from female friends.
 

ApostateAbe

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Ehh...in my experience a girl will only say "no" in the case that she really can't even see the possibility of liking you. Girls generally don't turn down dates. This is info I have learned from female friends.
Getting a date is the easy part. Getting any return for the payment is the hard part.
 

CoryJames

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Is "return for the payment" your way of saying sex? I disagree. I feel like getting sex is a lot easier than developing a meaningful connection through conversation, which is what you do on dates. Perhaps this belief is due to my current environment, but still, I think it's true.
 

GHouse

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I found out today that she is an intj (she took the test while we were hanging out). I think she flirts with a couple other guys more than she does me, but there is another girl that i flirt with more than her, that I wouldn't want to go out with. I think that two intxs may just have more trouble flirting with each other. I think we do however connect on a more intellectual level and definitely have a similar thought process. Though, I still am not sure if she likes me as more than a friend.
 

CoryJames

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So why don't you man up and find out?
 

onthewindowstand

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Just invite her over and pull your penis out. If she wants to be more than friends you will find out in that moment.
 

Bird

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How old is she?



How mature she is?
 

Bird

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(He is right. Just don't
be overly forward.)
 

CoryJames

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(He is right. Just don't
be overly forward.)

Give that bitch a venereal disease.




Bitches love venereal diseases.
 

EyeSeeCold

lust for life
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lol went oldschool there.
 
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