INTP communication

[Ponderer]

I think a lot of time we really want to talk about some deep stuff with people (the stuff we are talking about on internet), but Fe doesn't allow us to do it. It's the little voice, that says that it's socially inappropriate or that nobody is interested in that shit.
I'm determined hereafter to ignore this voice or "feeling", disregard unwritten social rules and just say what's on my mind. I've experienced real pleasure when discussing some deeper life theories with other people on the interner. I've been thinking, why aren't we discussing anything in real life. I guess this is why ENTP's exist, they use Ne a lot more (logically). I think we could learn from them and engage Ne more often around people, at least I will try doing that.
We often use our inferior Fe or Ti when talking to people, that's why we are unsuccessful in relationships. Although lately I've noticed I'm alot better around people and it comes more easy to express good emotions (how genuine they are is questionable) to make the group feel good. But I don't like to use it all the time.
When we use Ti, I think we are asking questions in hopes of gaining valueable information. However this doesn't help to create a relationship.
When we use Ne, we talk about the theories we are thinking about, and I think it makes us look a lot more interesting in other people's eyes. We are no longer the awkward nerd/quiet guy, but the silly philosopher of the group, or something like that. I'm not particulary concerned about any of that, however it doesn't hurt to experiment with that and find out what happens. It doesn't hurt to create a better image of yourself around people.
Fe makes us look bad, because it is incosistent, and at times we come off arrogant etc. We can't pull off the "happy guy" image for a consistent time period, and most of the time I don't want to anyway.
Ti makes as look boring and too serious.
Ne however would makes us look like deep thinkers, which we really are, and it would show or real selves to others. Although this makes as serious, I think our theories are quite interesting and would be able to entertain others to some degree, or even make them participate and share their thoughts about the subject (best case scenario).

 

[Jennywocky]

Yeah, it's been discussed on the forum before how our better pathway to social interaction (in that it's more effective for us) is Ne versus Fe. When we sit in Ti, we talk about what is of interest to us in an intense kind of way without being aware of the reception of those around us; but it's Ne kind of thing that makes us interesting and engaging and even funny in the enjoyable sense. It also helps us see openings in the discussion context.

I don't see everything being about type, though, in the sense we talk about this four functions as if they were explicit entities or objects in themselves. The reality is we don't typically interact with others enough (or care sometimes) to develop the ability and interest to understand how to engage in meaningful ways, even if we have lots of information at our disposal; but we have to allow ourselves to operate with frustrating clumsiness with this skill until we develop enough expertise in social interaction to be able to do so adequately.

We do better in that process catering to our sense of possibility and our amusing tendencies, flexible tendencies, versus trying to learn and apply a bunch of complex social rules that we might not care much for regardless.

 

[Architect]

Yeah, it's been discussed on the forum before how our better pathway to social interaction (in that it's more effective for us) is Ne versus Fe. When we sit in Ti, we talk about what is of interest to us in an intense kind of way without being aware of the reception of those around us; but it's Ne kind of thing that makes us interesting and engaging and even funny in the enjoyable sense. It also helps us see openings in the discussion context.

As long as you have a receptive audience which is rare in my experience. It's not often I find anybody that can really "Ne" out, as it were. All the S dominants have various reactions against talking about ideas. ISFJ's tend to go blank on anything remotely outside the here and now (I could imitate the reactions of ones I know, you'd find it amusing). ESTJ's tend to be either hostile to 'too much of that' (which isn't much at all), or when they try (like my Dad) they can't handle it and you can see their concentration vaporize. More flighty types just get bored or change the subject.

There are a few rare S dominants I know who can deal.

The reality is we don't typically interact with others enough (or care sometimes) to develop the ability and interest to understand how to engage in meaningful ways

Well that's the rub isn't it? What is meaningful? For most people I see it seems that beer, pretzels friends and family is enough. S dominants again. Oh, OK I get it - the sense of community and togetherness. Yeah I see that, but it's not deep nor meaningful to me for longer than, say a half hour.

So I truly do see it from their perspective, I do, and some of them see it from mine. But in the end there's meaningful interaction (most of the time) only when I adapt to them, for as long as I can't stand it.

 

[Jennywocky]

As long as you have a receptive audience which is rare in my experience. It's not often I find anybody that can really "Ne" out, as it were. All the S dominants have various reactions against talking about ideas. ISFJ's tend to go blank on anything remotely outside the here and now (I could imitate the reactions of ones I know, you'd find it amusing). ESTJ's tend to be either hostile to 'too much of that' (which isn't much at all), or when they try (like my Dad) they can't handle it and you can see their concentration vaporize. More flighty types just get bored or change the subject.

There are a few rare S dominants I know who can deal.

I guess it also depends on how you define "Ne" out.

I've found much more receptivity in my diverse educated coworker pool regardless of type. But it's not like I'm constantly zipping towards the fringe Ne stuff that people here launch into regularly, I meant using Ne as a tool to make connections and suggest possibilities that are accessible by everyone versus just trying to clumsily follow etiquette and emote through Fe style channels.

 

[Ex-User (13503)]

You're probably not going to have much success in communication if you're not viewing it holistically. Sure, focusing on a specific function might help improve the holistic effect, but that's just it, the effect is holistic, not the result of that specific function. Basically, I don't disagree, I just want to make sure you're attributing things correctly.

Appropriateness is always circumstantial and individualized. What not holding back as much will do is provide you with more experience and feedback in various scenarios. The social rules don't disappear (you're still going to break them, and probably regret it sometimes, honestly), but your understanding of them becomes more nuanced and thus you become more comfortable and confident, both in when you can speak up and when to hold back. A large portion of this is actually inf-Fe becoming more consistent as it's developed, and actually, a large part of the reason inf-Fe and the reactions to it are so awkward and unpredictable is because Ne keeps perceiving new and untested ways to express Fe. You're on the right track.

 

[Architect]

I guess it also depends on how you define "Ne" out.

Talk about anything interesting - well except sports pretty much. Otherwise anything goes. Something they're working on, something they read, heard about, or an idea or thought. I have one (ISFJ) co-worker who is quite engaged, we'll have far ranging discussions about tech, diet, health, all sorts of stuff. Others not so much. Maybe I'm just tired of people and trying to adapt. Meanwhile I'm building AI friends, but it'll be a few years.

 

[The Gopher]

You can talk about anything in an Ne way. Even sports.