INTP Anger

[Buz]

How do you get angry? What is required for you to become truly enraged? I've found that I am set off by any injustice for one... Unfortunately I possess a malicious side when in conflict and tend to target emotionally weak areas. How do you respond when angry?

 

[Reluctantly]

I let it out, but control it at the same time (I can still be reasoned with while angry and typically only get angry if someone is doing something harmful to themselves or another person), it's like a flame that can control how much fuel it wants to use; it comes out like a burst of energy and I say things without having to think too much about them and do things without much fear or care for fear anyway - raw thoughts, unfiltered, inhibitions gone. I consider the expression of it as a form of emotional energy, rather than rage or anger though, since anger and rage is often considered to be negative, unreasonable, and primitive. So I guess for me, anger and rage give me the emotional energy to let go of my inhibitions and act on what I believe is right or wrong.

yup,

 

[Direwolf]

People that ask for my help, say im wrong then brag, then feel really stupid when i point out that the number 6 is not a 9, then try and blame it on me. Ah but its not their fault they are stupid its the worlds fault for making everyone smarter than them. Ah poor sods. Those are the people that annoy me

 

[Jennywocky]

How do you get angry? What is required for you to become truly enraged? I've found that I am set off by any injustice for one... Unfortunately I possess a malicious side when in conflict and tend to target emotionally weak areas. How do you respond when angry?

I find myself getting irked at persistent stupidity, close-mindedness, and cognitive dissonance leading to improper assessment of situations. Stuff like that. I also don't like injustice either, or people treating each other badly -- but it's more that the principle of "we are each human beings = thus we're all the same" is being violated and find it offensive on that level.

Sometimes I just slough it off and do something else. If it's something where I need to engage, I can be either diplomatic or use the club. If I think the person will be open to diplomacy, I typically go that route; if I think they need the club or won't listen to me anyway, I can opt for the club. (The club is more just being very direct and smacking someone with exactly what I see the problem to be, without sidestepping or extra language.)

I wouldn't say I have "malice" in a fight, but when I'm angry, I simply look go straight to the core of the problem. I won't want to inflict pain, I just stick the knife right at the problem point, in as far it will go, rather than dallying around. You know, precision damage. Usually I've figured out where the weak points in the argument are, and also know exactly where to hit someone to engage them.

 

[Ex-User (9086)]

Malevolent people, the kind of people that smile while doing something harmful.
Individuals that attempt to put themselves above others and enforce their order.

Sometimes it's due to the stubborn or uncommunicative nature, can happen when I'm unable to express myself, but such instances are rare.

 

[RaBind]

Anger has always been a huge weakness of mine. I've posted threads before looking for closure on issues i've had before. This is a coping mechanism as u distance urself from the issue and possibly find a solution to it without having to face your feelings head on, which tends to lead to it spiraling out of control if not done properly\negatively.

Intps I think are prone to anger because of their Fe inferior. They're very much drawn towards desiring to maintain harmony and receiving acceptance of themselves through reassurance of their ideas by others. However ideas differ between people, and regardless of who is right, intps may feel a lot more alianeted and frustrated then other types if their ideas are deemed inaccurate, for reasons they feel are unjustified\unfair. This results in inappropriate outbursts of anger, for disputes\situations that are seemingly easy to difuse\solve if seen objectively. The inappropriateness becomes more apparent if you take the person's past experiences as well as the tendency of the intp's personality, to hold a small group of values as being of utmost importance. So it may be for example the foundations of all their knowledge, which they may feel is obviously true and inherently proven, or that people must be treated fairly, even if this is relative fairness. In my and perhaps many cases this anger is directed inwards because Fe is still in function. When I mean its directed inwards I mean they will still attempt to restrain their anger, which does damage to mainly and perhaps solely themselves. Intps don't usually have the tendencies for head on conflict and so it usually leaves them drained of energy and more cynical then before, when others fail to understand them\their ideas, which happens more so then not. Intps coping with anger can be very inaffective compared to other types as their main function is to think about ideas\things. Reimagining\thinking in this case acts very much as a fuel to the fire. This can cause them to be bitter for long after such incidents take place. Unlike say Se's perhaps intps are not as likely take the shortcut of acting upon their feelings and forgiving and forgetting such things.

 

[Helvete]

When I feel I have been wronged in some way and after other more rational lines of communication have been attempted to highlight the error, the (lack of) reaction or (lack of) understanding may or may not cause me to become angry. I will become angry after someone fails to see or acknowledge the wrong doing; most of the time this is directed inward as it is often not worth the effort of pursuing, if it is worth the effort I will lash out, usually quite explosively with varying results.

 

[president]

I was just watching a PBS program, The Roosevelts. Teddy Roosevelt was angry because the barons in charge of the coal mines were charging monopoly fees for transporting coal raising the price of coal. The workers were forced to work 12 hours per day. He threatened the barons and insisted they stop or he would force reform. Was he right because this violated the constitution and exceeded his presidential powers? I get angry because the barons used their power against the people.

 

[StevenM]

People saying that my arguments are flawed does not bother me. The solution, just became a challenge again, as I try to see the other's viewpoint, and either fix or strengthen my reasoning.

Funny how this thread was brought up, because I'm rarely angry, yet today, I found myself in the predicament.

About four times a week, I'm with a group of immature, cliquey people. They are in their 30's, yet they act like they just started highschool. They are nicey-nice when you are there, then they gossip and spread rumors just when you leave. I overheard them dub me the "social retard", which is fine with me, it actually suits me well. Yet their other victims receive much worse.

Usually I just ignore them and think about other stuff. We may have something in common, as I too don't have much amiability for others. But today, it brought to my attention just how pathetic these people were. I eavesdropped (it's kind of hard not to since we all share the same breaks), and caught them in a few states of hypocrisy.

It completely amazes me how such little tiny details about someone that usually are overlooked, are blown out of proportion and picked on by these people. I get a little self-conscious around them, knowing that every minute detail is being peered on and scrutinized. I get a little tense. Which I'm sure they are aware of.

Today, I kept replaying in my head what they were saying about other people. At one point, they brought up that the "fat butterballs", was arrogant. I thought of me bringing their hypocrisy into light, I just wish I can tell them to grow up, and start acting like an f'n adult. Instead, I went to leave, and was aware that they all turned to watch me go. At that moment, I very subtly shook my head in disgust, even though I knew it wouldn't even fizz on them.

When I get angry, I can't control or channel the anger. It rolls around my body, it makes me shake. The way I see it, I look like a kid going to throw a tantrum.

Though, I sometimes wish that I can properly channel my anger to get some results.

 

[EditorOne]

When I was younger and got enraged, it could get out of control, especially if there had been some alcohol. I'd release it by punching things, especially windows, but I don't do that any more.

Some form of betrayal of my trust was and is the biggest trigger. I think it is probably because betrayal makes me feel stupid for having trusted - like Charlie Brown and the football.

 

[Direwolf]

They sound terrible tm. Sorry that you have to be witness to that

 

[Brontosaurie]

when people insist on following rules despite evidence to the contrary, i get mad pissed. it extends to arguments from authority.

that covers all.

my anger presents internally by obsessive logical rumination of factors and dynamics relevant to the disagreement at hand. i will scrutinize both positions but end up reinforcing my own perspective. outwardly i will assume a sharp, unwavering demeanor. i will release my usual skeptical inhibitions - as Reluctantly described - and make bold claims, both silently pre-calculated ones and spontaneous ones, replete with sudden conviction, disdainful analogies (often framed as rhetorical questions) and full frontal denouncement of bullshit. perhaps most characteristically i 'keep count' of the opponent's transgressions and 'allow' myself a corresponding amount. this results in me coming off as the offender (and by association: wrong, which is more troublesome) simply because my transgressions are up-front and deliberate incidentals, rather than embedded and cloaked in illegitimate assumptions or errors of logic, as per the typical object of my outrage.

my anger is pretty much a binary thing. there's not a lot of subtlety. i don't employ it to gain control, i don't let off steam to maintain my boundaries by threat, i don't get slighted by anything. it's just like some illogic-sensor that sometimes goes off and beeps "ERROR ALERT!!! DELETE!!! DELETE!!!" but it's not a force prevalent in my continuous treatment of people.

for me expressing anger has been helpful because it lets people know where i really stand. it gets me serious for a moment.

 

[mooncrater]

I can keep really cool until somebody crosses the line. In order to cross the line, they must have done some injustice against me as a human.

I was victim of some bullying by older kids when I was young (not so much for kids my age), and now I have the conviction that physical bullies need a fist in the face first and I have the rage to back it up.

If whoever makes me angry can be ignored or deleted from my life, I choose that. If they do something to actually make me angry, it is serious enough to warrant a serious response. Changing people doesn't really work, I've found.

If I am stuck with them long-term (work, family), I try to limit contact as much as possible. I don't consider forgiveness. Most people think forgiveness is something that can be chosen on the spot. "I forgive you." I don't buy it. If forgiveness comes, it comes naturally over time.

During confrontations, I feel like my adrenaline kicks up higher than the other person and I feel very uneasy. People are surprised at how intense I look and how acidic my tongue and sneer can be, because I'm normally detached and serene or cracking jokes. If the person is yelling, I don't take part...civilized adults shouldn't. Otherwise, I try to make some quick logical points, keep it short, don't take their emotional bait, and be done with it.

Give people every chance to betray you. Hold on to the people that don't, and expect the people that do, to do it again. People can change, but usually don't unless the fundamentals change first. But some people are very near fundamental changes. I certainly was at one point, and making some bad decisions.

It's best not to take things too personally. Circumstances rule us all at different stages in life. Be logical, control what you can control, plan for the future, and let the once-planned future become the present. Be graceful.

Sorry, feeling preachy on a Thursday night. Just dealing with some anger

 

[mooncrater]

when people insist on following rules despite evidence to the contrary, i get mad pissed. it extends to arguments from authority.

that covers all.

my anger presents internally by obsessive logical rumination of factors and dynamics relevant to the disagreement at hand. i will scrutinize both positions but end up reinforcing my own perspective. outwardly i will assume a sharp, unwavering demeanor. i will release my usual skeptical inhibitions - as Reluctantly described - and make bold claims, both silently pre-calculated ones and spontaneous ones, replete with sudden conviction, disdainful analogies (often framed as rhetorical questions) and full frontal denouncement of bullshit. perhaps most characteristically i 'keep count' of the opponent's transgressions and 'allow' myself a corresponding amount. this results in me coming off as the offender (and by association: wrong, which is more troublesome) simply because my transgressions are up-front and deliberate incidentals, rather than embedded and cloaked in illegitimate assumptions or errors of logic, as per the typical object of my outrage.

my anger is pretty much a binary thing. there's not a lot of subtlety. i don't employ it to gain control, i don't let off steam to maintain my boundaries by threat, i don't get slighted by anything. it's just like some illogic-sensor that sometimes goes off and beeps "ERROR ALERT!!! DELETE!!! DELETE!!!" but it's not a force prevalent in my continuous treatment of people.

for me expressing anger has been helpful because it lets people know where i really stand. it gets me serious for a moment.

I think it's a shame that we have to show people our real boundaries. INTPs are seemingly good targets for people to unload their negative emotions on until they go too far, and the INTP has already had too much and is partial to saying goodbye.

I suppose making your boundaries known may be necessary in some emotional relationships...

 

[ddspada]

Average anger:

Spoiler

Average, day-to-day "anger" manifests itself initially as chewing the cud (metaphorically) of whatever situation is/was displeasing. I will try to find what the scenario was, what my expectation was, how it was not fulfilled, and how much of a setback it may be. Triggers for it might be someone cutting me off while driving; having petty insults directed my way or having to deal with unintelligent people whose authority I'm under (professors, family, directors).

If appropriate, feasible, reasonable based on how much it set me back and I was not the cause of whatever happened, I will (as calmly as possible, often not immediately after the event) confront the person(s) whose responsibility the event was. I will explain the above. Most people do not expect me (perhaps anyone, for that matter, what do I know) to address problems in such a way, so I mostly get weird looks.

If the fault is within myself, I take a mental note of what went wrong as soon and clearly as I am able, sometimes consulting with a friend or parent to have their POV as well.

It's more or less difficult to get me any more annoyed/upset than the level which I beget at this stage. If I decide on a level of annoyace, I'll stay there.

True anger:

Spoiler

Moreover, it's VERY difficult to have me jump over the brink into real anger: it won't happen unless I'm significantly stressed, sleep-deprived, the person in question has been an annoyance before and it's a significant slight.

True anger is just unpredictable. I may curse, I may yell. I will criticize whatever provoked me and will become extremely precise, piercing and caustic about it.

Muscles in my chest, neck and abdominal walls will usually hurt afterwards.

However...
any form of physical violence toward myself or anybody whom I care about, absolutely regardless of context, will motivate me to a particular degree of this type of anger. Under any unnecesary physical violence, I will immediately and permanently cut off communications with the person who originated it. An explanation will be given if it is pertinent to do so, but it's often not a very pretty explanation.

I have only been truly angry a couple of times in my life. I can recall no more than five or so at this moment (though I'm sure I've forgotten some instances of it), and frequency has diminished over time.

Edit:

Most people think forgiveness is something that can be chosen on the spot. "I forgive you." I don't buy it. If forgiveness comes, it comes naturally over time.

This resonates much with me.

 

[EditorOne]

"During confrontations, I feel like my adrenaline kicks up higher than the other person and I feel very uneasy"

That uneasiness is a side effect of the adrenaline, right? Especially if you have no way to disperse it through physical activity.

 

[Grayman]

People who communicate with their emotions, like my wife, dont always comprehend how something is affecting me even if I specifically state that it bothers me. The reason is that I am always calm even if I am irritated by situations. Essentially I say it bothers me but dont show it. Ive learned to communicate emotionally how something bothers me through what I call a pain response. I pile all my anger and irritation into one quick and precalculated burst. "Stop!" The word doesnt matter, only that they notice the change in disposition. If the person is a considerate and caring person they chang or adjust what they are doing or saying to prevent hurting me further.


For someone who is just destructive and inconsiderate, I have little respect for them. I view them as sub human, an animal, and I become the predator. They cannot control my emotions because I am control now. I can choose to send them into a fit of rage by simply smirking at them showing how little respect I have for them and how little control they really have. Or I can cut their anger out from under them and replace it with confusion by twisting what they see. Or if they are targeting another I can simply humiliate them so they want to hide. But I can only be the predator because I am cold and calculating. Anger is but a distraction.

Probably the most common thing I do to inconsiderate people is to say "He is to intelligent to do something" so that if they think about doing that thing they will be afraid of looking stupid.

 

[Jennywocky]

I usually don't get angry enough nowadays to hurt things, but I am a bottler. I think being an adapter is great, but that energy must go somewhere (EO suggests it as well) and so it becomes stress on the body at best if not channelled into something else..

So what I find is that, not nearly as much when I was young, but still on occasion I can completely flip out for a few seconds physically and want to break/hurt something if I lose it. Not that it happened a lot in my 20's (maybe once every year or two), but once I remember getting so mad (in an argument with my spouse that was dragging ON and ON, despite me trying to end it a number of times) that I suddenly kicked a box as hard as I could, and unfortunately it ended up being full of old plates we weren't using, and the plates actually broke and I was limping for a week because I hurt my foot so badly in the process.

Also, I can feel like I'm in control until I let it out a "little bit," and then basically it all comes out at once. I feel in control, but with old anger that is just being stored, it's like once the seam starts to blow, the whole thing blows.

 

[Grayman]

I usually don't get angry enough nowadays to hurt things, but I am a bottler. I think being an adapter is great, but that energy must go somewhere (EO suggests it as well) and so it becomes stress on the body at best if not channelled into something else..

So what I find is that, not nearly as much when I was young, but still on occasion I can completely flip out for a few seconds physically and want to break/hurt something if I lose it. Not that it happened a lot in my 20's (maybe once every year or two), but once I remember getting so mad (in an argument with my spouse that was dragging ON and ON, despite me trying to end it a number of times) that I suddenly kicked a box as hard as I could, and unfortunately it ended up being full of old plates we weren't using, and the plates actually broke and I was limping for a week because I hurt my foot so badly in the process.

Also, I can feel like I'm in control until I let it out a "little bit," and then basically it all comes out at once. I feel in control, but with old anger that is just being stored, it's like once the seam starts to blow, the whole thing blows.

I agree some what.
Releasing the anger is essential to not letting it build out of control but only in that very short time frame when you recognize your anger starting to build.it isnt.a long term solution and can be destructive if implemented long term as seek bigger and more destructive outlets.

Anger can be subdued without releasing or holding it in.

 

[nearfantastica]

People being unreasonable makes me angry. Not usually outwardly angry, but angry regardless.