INTP and lying

[Arin.lsk]

I was just wondering how tendency to lie depends on the typology. I am intp and despite my valuing truth I am sort of addicted to lying. At general lying repels me and goes againts my scout ideology. But in my defence I have to say I don´t lie about important things and about things which could harm or injure another people.

It probably evolved from my sarcasm a and my sassy jokes. But a few weeks ago I made a bigger lie and I realized that it might be a real problem. I lied to my mother that I am going on our cottage for one week with my friend just because I wasn´t able to admit that I want to go there alone.
I don´t really know why am I lying so relatively often. But I somehow enjoy the adrenalin which comes with it. Not the fear that someone could notice and reveal it. But the excitement when I know something more than the others (which sounds really selfish to me now).
I also really enjoy formation of the context and making connection between facts of my lie.

I would like to aks how often are you lying? And do you blame yourself for it? It also might be connected to intp´s emotionaless.

(Sorry for my english)

 

[Ex-User (14663)]

that's an interesting hobby lol. I think I used to lie when I was a kid, but eventually I realized it makes things way more complicated rather than easier. And it creates a wall between yourself and the rest of the world, something I also didn't like. Maybe find other ways to know stuff that others don't, but in a productive ways like having knowledge in certain subjects? I live by Seneca's rule – live like everything you do is always visible to the whole world*. It's a very liberating way to live.

*apart from when I rape and capture people in my dungeon of course @Adaire

 

[Siouxsie]

I like that Seneca´s rule Serac mentions. I guess there comes a time when you realise that lying is not worth it after all.
But... I do lie from time to time and I get that feeling of excitement you talk about, also I now enjoy the fact that I know whatever happens it´s still a lie, I mean, they can discover it and I wouldn´t be mad, we´d all laugh. I think we sometimes lie without even noticing, so... it´s ok. Just make sure that truth can be told...

 

[Niclmaki]

I’ll lie casually if it makes a social situations go smoother. It takes a special kind of care for what you lie about though.

I sometimes lie out of ignorance as well. Usually when I have to give an answer with incomplete information. I’ll own up to it if I do, but you also have to know which people you can do this with. Some folk will see you as someone to never be trusted again. For them, you need to add a lot of “maybes” and “I’ll try to”. Others won’t give a care.

Eg. Meeting friends at X time. But your timetable has 2 other people that can affect when you get there, so you can confidently say when you’ll get there, or explain the whole complicated thing. (Some touchy people even get offended by explanations and see them as EXCUSES hiding your true motive... sigh)

I don’t really make many “big” lies, as others have said, they’ll just make things more complicated in the long run. The furthest I go are lies of omission.

 

[Deleted member 1424]

Oh dear, I quite clearly delineated why conversing with you is like stepping in shit, Serac. Now here you are specifically seeking my attention? That's just sad.


Anyway, Op, lying is one of the most basic tools in the human arsenal of social interaction. Infants lie. As a species, we're quite adept. It can be used for good or evil but is usually employed for neutral-ish purposes, like saving face in front of your mom. I most frequently lie to simplify or expedite social interactions. This is normal.

All things require balance. The 'hurr durr I'm just honest' self-unaware asshat is socially incompetent and lying too much isn't good for an optimal social structure. In your specific instance, your mom might be comforted 'knowing' you're not alone. If you end up needing help, you might not be able to get it and your social group won't have enough information to know something is wrong. So fairly neutral lies can backfire in their own way. It's a risk assessment. So keep striving for that self-awareness of when and why you lie and the pro/cons of doing so, but don't beat yourself up for engaging in natural behavior. Minimizing harm as you go about this is generally a good idea, but also ultimately subjective.

 

[Ex-User (14663)]

being honest is socially incompetent.. I'm completely shocked hearing this from Adaire

 

[ZenRaiden]

Damn it. There are people who dont even want to hear the truth.

 

[Aviator8]

I had some things with family that lead to this but I have been lying since before I can remember and stealing things (that one is only since my mom starved me into submission where I started stealing food) anyways I lie and steal so naturally now that it would usually be nearly impossible for someone to know if I had. I have never got caught stealing and seldom ever get caught lying, and I think it comes really naturally to intps because we hold all of the details of the lie simultaneously in our heads and almost never get them confused-meaning I can tell a lie I have said multiple ways to multiple people even years later and the details are still there...whereas when I have needed other people to lie for me they trip over the details and it looks so very much easier for me to lie than other liars I know. So yeah I think more than most intps naturally lie (because it’s ridiculously easy for us and because we tend to be rebellious.)

 

[Perfectly Normal Beast]

Damn it. There are people who dont even want to hear the truth.

see decades of infantilising social policy and emotionally incontinent cultural dross. there are times when lying is expedient but this often seems to me to be due to a (childlike) deficiency of emotional regulation in one or more of the actors

the mental challenge of constructing an impenetrable web of deceit can be great fun however imo

 

[QuickTwist]

If no one on earth lied, the world would be a much better place.

 

[pjoa09]

I am horrible at secret hitler. I am okay with lying as long as I am certain the truth won't be found. A situation where the truth is not important enough to warrant an investigation but the lie would help or defend the current perception.

"I dropped my phone and the screen cracked"
"Where did it happen?"
"Just now when I was at the cafe"

Not "I was drunk last night and I dropped it along side with a few dollar bills as I was stumbling home"

 

[caitlinwaters]

Well I've been typed as an INTP every time I took one of those personality tests... tho I dont rly believe it
well I can honestly say I lie quite often, mostly to myself but many times to other people and then I find myself thinking "why did I lie about that?" it's not even important stuff, it's just the stupidest things
I dont know if this fits in the lying category, but something I also do quite often is I daydream. A LOT. ALL THE TIME. and sometimes i find myself wondering if those daydreams are real... I guess I'm just insane
But yes, I get where you're coming from, I guess lying can make life a bit exciting and better at times..

Sent from my SM-N950W using Tapatalk

 

[ZenRaiden]

If no one on earth lied, the world would be a much better place.

I got to say a lot of lying is stupid and not very fruitful, but then again I have lied so many times to just get away from bullshit or avoid bullshit or prevent bullshit. I think the truth is if you know how to lie and know how to do it effectively it can pretty much work very well. Then again who knows.

 

[rlnb]

I am more than happy to lie about things that I think the other person doesn't need to know (personal questions etc). I may also sometimes lie about important things if I think the other person is not a good faith actor ( i.e they will you the information against me or others for unethical ends).

But mostly, I am bad at outright lies. My lies are usually pretending that I don't know or not sharing all the information I have.

 

[Volstar]

i never lie, people just can't keep up with my awesomeness