INTP and conformity

[delarocha420]

Hey guys. I'm curious to know if any of you succumb to conformity. I have a crush on an INTP who joined a fraternity freshman year. He changed the way he dresses, but I don't think he necessarily changed who he is. I've read that INTPs take their commitments seriously, but of course frat guys are infamous for being man whores. I'm also wondering if he's fallen into the bs superficial sorority ranking that a lot of frat guys do (take a girl's sorority into consideration when deciding how they think/feel about them). FYI I'm not in a sorority.

I was just wondering how susceptible you guys are to conforming, or how much one's ideals can change after joining something as group oriented as a fraternity? If there are any INTPs here in frats, I'd love to hear some stories

 

[Vmission]

Get him out of his context and talk with him, that is the only way of knowing what he truly is. He can be a dead fish floating with the current, or a smart guy putting an act with some purpose in mind.

Can't remember any personal stories, but I think INTP's are very independent by nature and thus they cannot be conformists.

 

[Philosophyking87]

I'm not very susceptible to conformity at all, but it can happen.
Most introverts tend to have a natural resilience when it comes to their environment.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Get him out of his context and talk with him, that is the only way of knowing what he truly is. He can be a dead fish floating with the current, or a smart guy putting an act with some purpose in mind.

.

 

[EditorOne]

I now superficially conform when it is in my interest to do so. A necktie, for instance, is cheap respectability. But I tend to regard all such affectations as just a necessary disguise to pass unnoticed as I make my way through life, lest people I need to work with become appalled by my disregard for most of the things they think are important.

Your INTP may be doing the same thing, at least the same category of thing. Personally I couldn't stand the whole fraternity thing, it seemed like faux bonding around an artificial construct with a bunch of people I'd normally take pains to avoid. But that was a long, long time ago and for all I know there may be a socially and intellectually redeeming purpose to fraternities by now. Not that anyone ever seemed to see those things as worthwhile goals.....

 

[Peripheral Visionary]

Fraternities are good for networking, and not much else. It's possible that your INTP is channeling his inner Machiavelli and doing this for the networking benefit, but my experience is that INTP's at that age are still in the principled rebel stage.

My guess is that your INTP is a bit bedazzled by the prospects of having a huge social existence dumped on his lap, which he didn't have in high school. Being in a fraternity allows you to "hide" behind the frat persona for a bit. After a while, he will tire of it REAL HARD. Unless he already has some close friends in the fraternity, in which case they will form their own little sub-fraternity in the organization.

 

[Dapper Dan]

Do you know anything about his particular fraternity? Many fraternities are just as you describe, but not all of them are.

 

[Pyropyro]

INTP's are quite tolerant creatures unless you tread on a non-negotiable value that they hold. Perhaps that's why they look like conformists.

 

[paddywhacker]

Fraternities are good for networking, and not much else. It's possible that your INTP is channeling his inner Machiavelli and doing this for the networking benefit, but my experience is that INTP's at that age are still in the principled rebel stage.

My guess is that your INTP is a bit bedazzled by the prospects of having a huge social existence dumped on his lap, which he didn't have in high school. Being in a fraternity allows you to "hide" behind the frat persona for a bit. After a while, he will tire of it REAL HARD. Unless he already has some close friends in the fraternity, in which case they will form their own little sub-fraternity in the organization.

I have come on this website for a long time and have not created an account until I saw this thread..this comment specifically. I feel like you have been stalking/studying me. I am an INTP in a fraternity and this is almost a perfect description of what I have gone through in three years of college and fraternity life.

I really enjoyed my freshman year of college because I pledged a fraternity and I was having a blast "raging" after my initial semester. To say that I have grown and changed since my freshman year would be a huge understatement but I always remained an INTP deep down. I became busy pleasing every body else while also striving to be independent and subconsciously (self diagnosis) struggling with figuring out who I was.

If I had to choose which path I took it would have to be a "sub-fraternity" of the guys that I still enjoy hanging out with. I still have a good time going to all the events and I don't "hate" any of my brothers but I definitely got tired REAL HARD.

I am now in another struggling/growth stage I think..

Anyways, if anybody wants to ask me questions I will ramble a response and hopefully an answer will be within the 'novel'

 

[Sigma Octantis]

everyone succombs to a conformity.

everyone conforms, to something cause we are a part of society, wherever you are, whichever you go to, you will belong in a certain group.

im pretty sure you're talking about peer pressure.

 

[Peripheral Visionary]

I have come on this website for a long time and have not created an account until I saw this thread..this comment specifically. I feel like you have been stalking/studying me. I am an INTP in a fraternity and this is almost a perfect description of what I have gone through in three years of college and fraternity life.l'

Dude, what can I say? We're INTPs. I just looked inside and asked: What would I do, or what have I done in the same situations?

But I'm a little farther down the road in life lessons, and so that gives me some perspective in how the road tends to twist and turn.

There is no need to hate those guys, even if the patina is wearing off and you are seeing all the bullshit in its most glorious shade of brown. But you already realize that.

Actually, I'd say you have a better handle on things than I did at your age.

 

[Philosophyking87]

INTP's are quite tolerant creatures unless you tread on a non-negotiable value that they hold. Perhaps that's why they look like conformists.

"Non-negotiable" is the best way to put it.
We will die before we succumb, when such principles are on the line.

 

[Reluctantly]

INTP's are quite tolerant creatures unless you tread on a non-negotiable value that they hold. Perhaps that's why they look like conformists.

"Non-negotiable" is the best way to put it.
We will die before we succumb, when such principles are on the line.

Out of pure curiosity (because I'm imagining you guys whipping people and screaming like a drill sargeant), what specific principles are you guys talking about in regards to yourselves?

 

[Namesmith]

everyone succombs to a conformity.

everyone conforms, to something cause we are a part of society, wherever you are, whichever you go to, you will belong in a certain group.

im pretty sure you're talking about peer pressure.

I disagree. Everybody falls within a certain group, yes, but that doesn't mean you conform to it. I don't conform. I also am not a non-conformist; I don't rebel against a certain type to disprove allegiance.

Don't misunderstand--I enjoy it very much when I belong to a group who shares my values, but I don't change my stance in order to meet those parameters.

I now superficially conform when it is in my interest to do so. A necktie, for instance, is cheap respectability.

If we're talking about superficial changes, like wearing a tie in certain situations, then I'll do so. A work requirement at work in onerous, but a job means income. Attending a wedding is etiquette and denotes respect. I have no problem "conforming" to expectations in cases like that, because those things don't require me to change anything essential to my existence; I don't like wearing a tie for reasons of discomfort, not because they "represent submission to a fascistic system" or some such.

I suspect your friend's values haven't changed either. Then again, college is a place we go to discover ourselves and our goals, and he could be "trying on different hats" to see what fits. That's normal too.

 

[Philosophyking87]

Out of pure curiosity (because I'm imagining you guys whipping people and screaming like a drill sargeant), what specific principles are you guys talking about in regards to yourselves?

There's a thread for this.
But mostly, it's hard to say what the specific principles are.