interactions with ENFJ

[Tiger]

im fairly certain i that two females i know are enfj. i'd say almsot instnatly i can pick their type, even from a distance. what i find interesting is that with both, they connect eyes with me from across a distance (even in a crowd) and they seem to forgive me readily for my hostility and are unwilling to let go of the possible of a friendship. they're type seems to be the most interested in me, mostly i get dismissed as weird or i unknowlingly gain surpolus amounts of respect -sometimes through unintentional intimidation believe it or not.
is it an intp/enfj thing or a person/enfj thing?
they were both people i felt a connection with, like they would accept me for who and all of what i was. i also felt that were eagerly waiting on me to express extraversion - so they could have an opportunity to make friends maybe, i dont know.
i think i should also add that an infj male got (romantically) interested in me for a short amount fo time, i think it may have been my obvious introversion and individuality.
i also have a reason for avoiding them and distrupting progress in the relationship because i can't trust someone who loves everyone so readily with intimate knowledge of myself. with one of the enfj's in particular i gave the cold shoulder to because i figured her friendliness was worthless.
eventually she gave up and we became strangers.

 

[grey matters]

Interesting analysis there. I can't answer your question, even if my life depended on it (fortunately this isn't a Monty Python movie and we aren't looking for a holy grail), but still your analysis is interesting.

 

[Tiger]

what i forgot to add was but was actually the point of my mentioning of the infj; ive picked his type from a distance too but in the sense that his interest was romantic i think may make this experience redundant in my analysis of my experience with the other two. a female infj, may be slight toward hating me for all i know... in otherwords, it may have been mostly physical, but his infj traits certainly attracted me to him and i wonder if there's an almost instant intp/infj attraction.
in summary its like intp's may have a telepathic coonect with e/infj's. maybe just n's get other n's, whatever, but its really phenomenal until my coldness tradgically kills it.
probably should post this in an enfj forum, if there is one.

 

[Gorgrim]

I think ENTJS can relate to us better than most people, and i think INFJS find us fascinating. I feel like infj's find me less weird than most. INFJ/INTP is interesting


i am only curious, but are you female too? the two ENTJ females wanted to be friends?

I think girls if interested in you and look over at you, would like a response, and it only hurts when they dont. I'm quite horrible at relationships, I wanted to improve myself abit and not just ignore if girls want eye contact to hint!

relationship wise, I don't know any specific ENTJS but may have a few friends that are candidates, that I find great. So problably is a special acknowledgement between ENTJS INTPS. Because of Intro/Extro and P/J possibly making eachother interested in eachother with some of the same strong traits of thinking / intuition that make a connection.

 

[fullerene]

lol its funny, cause on Lance's forum (the guy who came here to advertise), there's only one really active INFJ... and we took to each other almost immediately. I mentioned in a few posts that I thought INTPs/INFJs made the best couple (even just from readnig their description, I knew I'd be attracted to that kind of person)... lol then she looked up a bunch of best matches from somewhere, and the only type listed for INTP males was INFJ females (other types would have 3 or 4 that it said would make good matches). Honestly I don't buy those relationship things at all, but I definitely do think there's a pull between INTPs and INFJs.

 

[Perseus]

ENFJ girls are worth a go. I have never been out with one. Just unfortunate really. Missed by a whisker.

I do not find that eyes match. They tend to ask questions, and be credulous. They are not fools though and will not rush in. The good thing about them is I find they do not two-time.

This is good because the INTP is off doing his own thing and the bored ESFJ jumps into bed with someone at the first opportunity and like the ISFP lies about it. The first one could not care and just laughs, and the Cat thinks it gets away with the lies. The INTP does not say anything and just makes a mental note to show her the door when convenient.

I am not so sure of how to deal with them (a bit like ESFJs which are a nightmare). They can be a bit conventional. INTJs have partners of this type, teachers, often.

 

[Tiger]

if i wasnt allowed to choose not to be in any relationship (they just ask for more than i want to give of myself), then i would have to go for a infj or enfj male, preferabley infj - really friendly people strike me as fake. i like a relationship to be special.
but i bet neither of them stay single for long.

 

[flow]

ENTJ is the best match for us, but I think an ENFJ would also be a great match as well. We basically just need an extroverted intuitive person who makes judgments, so that decisions can be made.

 

[Tiger]

looks like my question isnt going to get answered with all these percievers running about, lol, but ill try again before this threads turn into something about ufo's.

insight into the enfj anyone?

 

[Kuu]

My best friend is an ENFJ. More than 70% of the people I know have been through him, his charisma keeps him constantly surrounded with people, so he keeps me connected to the world and doesn't let me fall into a blind and spiteful hermit. But I am the one who presents him very alternative and unconventional people that expand his horizons.

He's an Fe, so it might seem to be quite conflictive, but no, he's not annoying (except when he goes into super childish mode... but well, he tolerates my isolationism, silence and cynicism), but for most of the time he is like an introvert (but he frets if he's alone for more than a couple hours or if he doesn't go out at least once a week. He's got 4 younger brothers, and he is used to dealing with many people on a daily basis, he needs to satisfy the Fe).

Through many years, we've got to understand each other through our N and temper our differences, and we end up discussing much N stuff: I talk about science fiction, he talks about his crazy dreams. We always try to team up, cause we are both smart and responsible and complement each other quite nicely, his J makes him take the lead, together with his charisma, and lets us actually finish stuff, while we brainstorm ideas and work like a stream of consciousness.

Academically he's always been top of the class, always ahead of me, but we know grades aren't everything. He's got great memory and math skills, but keeps his knowledge-world quite limited, so that's where I come in.

Of course, I understand he is a mature ENFJ with a very developed inferior Ti... so not really representative of the majority of ENFJs.

 

[Fleur]

I have an expierence with ENFJ too. I don't know her for long time (around 4 months), but her type was rather than obvious, and she's so outgoing that it almost looks like she doesn't have a single secret. In breaks she's constantly talking and socializing (unlike me - I'm just sitting in my "corner" watching everything and storing an information, without saying a word).

First time, when I had a chance to observe her, she seemed like being familiar with the 95% of people in the room (the fact was that 90% of people didn't knew each other), and, as far as I've noticed, a lot of teachers like her. I think people would describe her as a positive person. Sometimes I'm wondering about how she's able to approach people and start a conversation so easily.

Later it she gave a feeling of being able to befriend with everything that moves. Always cheery and always smiling. And she has a tendency of self-sacrificing, once she admited it herself. When it comes to emotions, it's a sphere in which she seems to be floating throught with an ease.

Still, even if she's most friendly person in the world, we usually don't interact without a proper reason - and this reason nearly always is connected with school. Besides, there are a lot of other people, who are more talkative and more interested in things she's talking about.

She also tends to instinctely take a leadership, and she's sometimes surprised about my homework doing habits (mostly I do them in the breaks before the class begin), and I've a feeling that she views me as a little kid (not in a way of acting childish, but in a way of being unable to do/understand simple things).

 

[Perseus]

I got punched in the head by one of these, but this was partly my fault. We do not see eye to eye. They have different emotional/spiritual needs to us.