INFPs

[samjonathan]

what are your general opinions and views about INFPs and their attitudes, in what ways do you get on with them, in what ways do you clash?

i ask because i have a friend who is an INFP, my best friend in fact, and we've always gotten on really well but lately i feel like she's not putting much effort into our friendship and it feels like she's expecting me to always want to do what she wants to do whenever she wants and isn't exactly accommodating to what i want to do.. and she spends a lot of time having sex with her boyfriend when i'm over at her house

 

[A22]

I don't think I know any INFPs. I'm curious, how come you people know other's types? The only people that I know the types are the ones I send the personality test to.

 

[samjonathan]

well i know most of my friends' types because i've made them all do the test, also i've been pretty into MBTI for a quite a while and after a while you kind of get a feel for typing people, but i mostly know people's types because i've gotten them to do the test

 

[downsowf]

wand she spends a lot of time having sex with her boyfriend when i'm over at her house

Maybe she wants you to join in? This sounds just outright rude to me. If done one time, I'll give you a pass. But if this chick had sex twice, leaving you alone, this could warrant me never going over to your house again, or at least talking to you for a while.

There could be several factors:

1. She just got a boyfriend and they are in the romantic part of the relationship where all they do is have sex. Always avoid couples when they are in this stage. Very fucking annoying. Definitely don't go to the house.

2. She loves sex and meant no offense to you. In this case, I would still never go to her house, especially if her boyfriend was there.

INFPs always seem like the coolest people, though. They could probably be passive-aggressive if they are mad at you, but your friend's behavior is not really subtle obviously. Time to move on dude. This chick has one boyfriend. Why would she want two? Having sex when you came over seems like a pretty strong indicator that your relationship with her probably won't be the same as it once was.

 

[Cognisant]

Methinketh samjonathan is not a guy.
Back to that in a moment.

what are your general opinions and views about INFPs and their attitudes, in what ways do you get on with them, in what ways do you clash?

INFPs are one of if not the most sensitive of all the types when it comes to thoughts/feelings of others, so either your friend is trying to tell you one of two very strong messages (join in or fuck off) which in of itself is very unINFP like, or she just doesn’t give a damn, which I suppose an INFP could be like if they're in that "just hooked up" stage.

Getting back to the previous statement guys don't really go for sex when there's other guys around, unless they're really good friends, which is not the impression I'm getting, instead you seem to be the "other girl", the less outgoing tag-along that doesn’t quite know what to do now that your assertive half is otherwise occupied.

Fukyo? Adaire?
Can someone with attitude come tell this girl what to do before there's a wave of guys telling her to have a threesome.

 

[ObliviousGenius]

I agree with Cognisant. You have to be a girl because there's no way I (being a guy) would ever tolerate that. I have an INFP friend whose a girl and she's the nicest girl I know, we're even close enough to call each other brother and sister. But I would never be in the same house as her if she was getting it in with her boyfriend. If you are a guy, then I think it would be best to greatly reduce the amount of time you guys hang out.

 

[downsowf]

Methinketh samjonathan is not a guy.
.

Haha. I think you're right. After reading the post again, there's no way a dude wrote that. Guess the avatar and the name threw me off. Damn you samjonathan.

 

[samjonathan]

first of all i would just like to state, for the record, that i am not a girl, and that my friends boyfriend and i are also quite good friends

1. She just got a boyfriend and they are in the romantic part of the relationship where all they do is have sex. Always avoid couples when they are in this stage. Very fucking annoying. Definitely don't go to the house.

2. She loves sex and meant no offense to you. In this case, I would still never go to her house, especially if her boyfriend was there.

INFPs always seem like the coolest people, though. They could probably be passive-aggressive if they are mad at you, but your friend's behavior is not really subtle obviously. Time to move on dude. This chick has one boyfriend. Why would she want two? Having sex when you came over seems like a pretty strong indicator that your relationship with her probably won't be the same as it once was.

i think the latter of these two is most likely, what with her always telling me how much she likes sex and whatnot...

I have an INFP friend whose a girl and she's the nicest girl I know, we're even close enough to call each other brother and sister. But I would never be in the same house as her if she was getting it in with her boyfriend. If you are a guy, then I think it would be best to greatly reduce the amount of time you guys hang out.

oh we are very close as well, we do call each other brother and sister, in fact her whole family has pretty much accepted me as one of their own, her mum thinks we are non-romantic soulmates and her sisters want us to get married, we usually half-jokingly go along with them, we're the kind of friends who have decided to get married if we are both lonely and old one day (which looks very likely for me, probably not so much for her)

i think they started doing it because i used to spend weeks at a time at her house and so they'd "have to" because they both enjoy their sex a lot, but since i have reduced my time spent with her they've just kept on doing it whenever i'm there, i've started bringing my other friend with me whenever i go over actually so that i have something to do while they have sex...
having said that , i thought me not going over as often would be a subtle hint that i didn't want to go over as much or something, because as Cognisant said, she is very sensitive and i am not so much, so i didn't really want to do something stupid and untactful, although she has a mean Te, which can sometimes be very offensive she doesn't seem to realise that she can hurt people like others hurt her

my biggest problem i suppose is my inability to tell her, because in the past when i have confronted her with problems she becomes very avoidant towards solving the problem and focuses on her reasoning for her behaviour, which is usually emotionally motivated, and that frustrates me, it's almost like she uses her being upset to get out of facing up to the problems

 

[downsowf]

Honestly, you need to distance yourself like OG said. It's weird when a guy hangs out with a girl who has a boyfriend. I think it is at least. Especially when you're lurking around her house while she's getting it on with the bf. In fact, I usually would completely cut off communication with another girl that I'm friends with after they have a boyfriend because there was usually some sort of sexual attraction.

As hard as it is for me to say, you will not have the relationship like you had before with her. It seems that she's moved on. Ask yourself this question: What are you getting out of the relationship? Is whatever you're getting out of the relationship correspond to the amount you are putting into the relationship? If so, then it might be worth it to repair and modify (meaning your expectations) the relationship. If not, then maybe you should reevaluate what you expect to get out of this relationship. I don't know. Just a thought.

 

[samjonathan]

i don't understand how it is weird for me to hang out with her just because she has a boyfriend, we're all friends and we do stuff together that isn't them ignoring me while they be all coupley, my friendship with her was never sexually motivated or anything if that's what you're thinking

she's very confusing though because sometimes she almost insists on seeing me, and she always tells me how i'm special to her and stuff but just never acts like it
but yeah i think she probably has moved on or changed or something

 

[rattymat]

Well, I would actually consider myself an INTP/INFP hybrid. I identify with both types in different ways, and find great and almost equal value in both thought and feeling (with a leniency toward thinking). So I think I can speak somewhat personally on the matter.
I am rather sensitive to other people's emotions, and am rather perceptive about their internal feelings and thoughts. I am good at empathizing, a method of basically imagining myself in their circumstances based upon my own experience with those circumstances, but in a sense combining the circumstances that I may have experienced separately into the specific culmination of experiences they are having. Additionally, I do not impose demands upon them when cultivating a relationship with them. Or rather, I am lax in regards to my demands, and only have few principals when I feel I am being treated unfairly. But I do not necessarily expect them to treat me the way I treat them, even if at times I can be offended if they do not seem to care as much as I do. However, I do not enforce it.
Additionally, I like to inspire people to develop, given their potential direction. If they seem to have the seeds of some idea that is good, I will try to inspire them to further expand upon this idea. However, I never enforce. I don't see value in enforcing a view, for it doesn't actually help that other person, even if I see my view as correct. THEY have to see it as correct.
Additionally, I am not as easily offended as most INFPs seem to be. And when I am offended, I can usually realize my feelings are irrational.

 

[Cognisant]

Haha. I think you're right. After reading the post again, there's no way a dude wrote that. Guess the avatar and the name threw me off. Damn you samjonathan.

Maybe he (maybe a he) is gay?

And c'mon man the avatar should have been a clue, a pretty-boy Doctor looking into the camera with intense dreamy eyes.

Or maybe I'm gay

*checks porn folder*

Spoiler

Well with the amount of yuri in here I could be a lesbian

 

[samjonathan]

Maybe he (maybe a he) is gay?

And c'mon man the avatar should have been a clue, a pretty-boy Doctor looking into the camera with intense dreamy eyes.

aha, well you're kind of half right.. what with the picture of the doctor, and why i have him as my avatar (but that was also because i read somewhere that 11 is an INTP) but anyway i'm more along the lines of not really into anything and as a result would go for/settle for anything...
but i'm positive that i am not a girl
and i still don't understand how there is no way a dude wrote that.. oh well

 

[Gather_Wanderer]

I know 4 INFPs

Younger brother
Girlfriend
One of my best friends
Former manager at my old job

They all get kind of "sensitive angry", which is kind of a funny thing to describe. Its like they get personally hurt at the sight or hearing of a moral injustice, or if they think they fail to make someone else happy that they're responsible for or that they desire for. The anger is almost like a mask from crying, which is what they really wish they could do.

That dominant Fi at work, indeed.

That sensitive angry thing can lead them to be quite stubborn if they've found you to be carelessly stepping on their toes in any way. They'll think you're a pile of shit until you can prove--indirectly--that you're not. I say indirectly because they need to feel as if they've properly assessed your character before they let you come closer.

 

[samjonathan]

They all get kind of "sensitive angry", which is kind of a funny thing to describe. Its like they get personally hurt at the sight or hearing of a moral injustice, or if they think they fail to make someone else happy that they're responsible for or that they desire for. The anger is almost like a mask from crying, which is what they really wish they could do.

yes, this is definitely what she does, i couldn't describe it but this is pretty acurate, it can get pretty harsh at times especially as most of the time it goes unexplained

 

[knight in battle]

INFPs are quite possessive of their mates. I have known an INFP, and he is quite oblivious of those around him when his girlfriend is around. Certainly he is accommodating to those who are in the room, but not as much when others around. No offense, but their mate becomes high priority when the mate is around. But don't be misled by this. INFPs will share their attention with a wide number of people.

They will also be quite absent-minded, just as some INTPs seem to be, and withdraw. This is because they desire to free themselves from obligation---again, just as INTPs do. So don't depend on INFPs to hold up their end of a relationship bargain. They will not, but they will almost invariably keep in contact (as long as it is not during a time when their deepest values are violated---same as INTP).

 

[downsowf]

i don't understand how it is weird for me to hang out with her just because she has a boyfriend, we're all friends and we do stuff together that isn't them ignoring me while they be all coupley, my friendship with her was never sexually motivated or anything if that's what you're thinking

she's very confusing though because sometimes she almost insists on seeing me, and she always tells me how i'm special to her and stuff but just never acts like it
but yeah i think she probably has moved on or changed or something

Well, you must understand that gender and sexual preference has a lot to do with how I'm answering. If you had a boyfriend that wanted to hang out with his ex-boyfriend all the time, this would strike you as somewhat inappropriate. No? I don't know. Maybe not.

So a straight male hanging out with a girl who has a boyfriend all the time would seem to be stepping over some type of boundary, in my opinion, if I were the boyfriend. However, you being gay, changes this "boundary" because there is no competition or "threat," if that makes sense.

Sorry to confuse you as Cog is with his sexual identity right now.

Edit: How old are you? If you don't mind me asking.

Also, as to my comment: "there's no way a dude wrote that."- I guess that was more of a subjective statement because feeling that someone's not putting their fair share into the type of relationship you are describing would be a concern that would not really cross my mind. I don't know. The whole tone of the post, to me at least, seemed something a male wouldn't really care about. Obviously, I'm not speaking for the whole male tribe.

Generally, I would respect that someone who had a boyfriend would spend his or her fair share of time with them. I might be resentful at first, but would never let it fester into a full blown conflict. Plus, I don't need that much "best friend" time, and I don't think most INTPs do. I would never want to latch on to somebody in such a dependent/ needy way.

 

[samjonathan]

i'm 17, and i didn't say i was gay, but yes there is not a sexual threat i suppose, alhough it was a bit sexual tensiony when we first hung out cos we met at a party and we did actually, for lack of a better phrase, "hook up"
but yeahhh, i think i just realised that i don't actually care if i don't spend as much time with her, it's not like we'll stop hanging out all together, i think i made this post in some irrational fit of Fe

edit: i probably shouldn't have used the sex thing as an example.. it made it look like i cared a lot about it in particular

 

[Akuma]

If you had a boyfriend that wanted to hang out with his ex-boyfriend all the time, this would strike you as somewhat inappropriate. No? I don't know. Maybe not.

So a straight male hanging out with a girl who has a boyfriend all the time would seem to be stepping over some type of boundary, in my opinion, if I were the boyfriend. However, you being gay, changes this "boundary" because there is no competition or "threat," if that makes sense.

I don't really see anything weird about hanging out with friends of the opposite gender if they have a bf/gf. (Only when the bf/gf is around would it make you the third wheel.)
I still talk to my exs even when they've got new partner's because the relationships didn't end on a bad note, we're still friends.

The only weird thing about it in the OP is that they have sex while you're over at their house. Honestly, did this just suddenly happen one day? No one said it was a little weird that first time?

 

[snafupants]

Maybe she wants you to join in? This sounds just outright rude to me. If done one time, I'll give you a pass. But if this chick had sex twice, leaving you alone, this could warrant me never going over to your house again, or at least talking to you for a while.

There could be several factors:

1. She just got a boyfriend and they are in the romantic part of the relationship where all they do is have sex. Always avoid couples when they are in this stage. Very fucking annoying. Definitely don't go to the house.

2. She loves sex and meant no offense to you. In this case, I would still never go to her house, especially if her boyfriend was there.

INFPs always seem like the coolest people, though. They could probably be passive-aggressive if they are mad at you, but your friend's behavior is not really subtle obviously. Time to move on dude. This chick has one boyfriend. Why would she want two? Having sex when you came over seems like a pretty strong indicator that your relationship with her probably won't be the same as it once was.

Your opening thesis seems too optimistic, and your last sentence just seems off.

 

[downsowf]

Thanks for the observation.

 

[snafupants]

Thanks for the observation.

Glad to be of service babe.

 

[samjonathan]

The only weird thing about it in the OP is that they have sex while you're over at their house. Honestly, did this just suddenly happen one day? No one said it was a little weird that first time?

I think the first time it happened was when i was staying over after i'd gone to bed and i didn't exactly know they did it but i suspected and they suspected i suspected and then over time it just got more and more blatant

Your opening thesis seems too optimistic, and your last sentence just seems off.

i like how you think, however idealistic it may be for me to agree with you

 

[pjoa09]

You hooked up and then you became friends and now you are annoyed that every time you want to hangout with her she's busy screwing her new hook up/boyfriend (or is there a difference)?

You went wrong when you hooked up and then became friends. You should've been "just friends".

Then again, I am in no position to judge. Just saying that I can't be friends with someone that I wanted to sexually engage with.

And if she didn't think you were threatening her relationship she would have set time for you rather than fucking her boyfriend every time you just wanted to hangout.

 

[samjonathan]

You hooked up and then you became friends and now you are annoyed that every time you want to hangout with her she's busy screwing her new hook up/boyfriend (or is there a difference)?

You went wrong when you hooked up and then became friends. You should've been "just friends".

Then again, I am in no position to judge. Just saying that I can't be friends with someone that I wanted to sexually engage with.

And if she didn't think you were threatening her relationship she would have set time for you rather than fucking her boyfriend every time you just wanted to hangout.

well it was quite a long time ago that we "hooked up", and i'm pretty sure neither of us thought anything of it, we didn't become friends with any of that in mind or anything

i'm also rather sure that she doesn't see me as threatening to her relationship, i think sees her boyfriends ex as a threat to the relationship, but that's a completely different story, once again i don't think i should've used the sex thing as an example, i don't actually see how i could threaten her relationship tbh

 

[JennaSayQuoi]

I think I get where you're coming from. Her having sex while you were there was funny and weird. I liked the way you threw it in. XD

I think, sadly, a board full of INTPs might not be the greatest place for relationship (Fe) advice. :P

I have an INFP friend that I've known since I was a teen. She quite a bit older than me, so the dynamic might be different, but sometimes I feel like she can't really connect emotionally the way I want. I don't know if it's the Fi/Fe difference? Sometimes her satisfaction seems kind of selfish. She likes "giving love", as she calls it, by spreading around nice thoughts and hugs to everyone and then skipping back to her secret cave. Personally, I feel satisfaction from a connection being made by understanding and being understood, but she seems to just have this need to give cuddles, but for herself, not for the people she is indiscriminately cuddling.

I don't know if that's what's happening with you guys, but maybe her need to give love is filled up with her boyfriend at the moment and she just doesn't think about making effort for you, because she doesn't feel the drive she normally would for it.

 

[samjonathan]

I think, sadly, a board full of INTPs might not be the greatest place for relationship (Fe) advice. :P

I have an INFP friend that I've known since I was a teen. She quite a bit older than me, so the dynamic might be different, but sometimes I feel like she can't really connect emotionally the way I want. I don't know if it's the Fi/Fe difference? Sometimes her satisfaction seems kind of selfish.

I don't know if that's what's happening with you guys, but maybe her need to give love is filled up with her boyfriend at the moment and she just doesn't think about making effort for you, because she doesn't feel the drive she normally would for it.

you are/were correct on all counts

 

[Pikachu]

what are your general opinions and views about INFPs and their attitudes, in what ways do you get on with them, in what ways do you clash?

i ask because i have a friend who is an INFP, my best friend in fact, and we've always gotten on really well but lately i feel like she's not putting much effort into our friendship and it feels like she's expecting me to always want to do what she wants to do whenever she wants and isn't exactly accommodating to what i want to do.. and she spends a lot of time having sex with her boyfriend when i'm over at her house

I'm sorry if I'm being rude, but in my general opinion, INFPs that I know are mostly irrational. They are emotional, impulsive, paranoid, easily get offended, so narcissistic and high self-righteousness. Somewhat manipulative and often antagonizing others to get what they want. They like to exaggerating things and live in wonderland. They love to play victims and don't like to admit their own faults, very defensive.

Lol, but that's only the INFPs I know.

 

[nanook]

i often perceive Fe types, except for Fe doms, as cow-like. you know how you can bump a cow and she won't really be bothered by it. Fe types have such a strong sense of belonging to a family, that doesn't even exist, from the perspective of Fi types. for Fi types, there is a network that consists out of laws about boundaries, it's about what would be allowed, when it is wanted. there is no static relationship, other than those laws, which could be interpreted as "relating" in the sense of being compatible. acting on those laws happens spontaneously and "nobody" keeps track of it. Fi relationships are not in the practice or ritual of interaction, they are just like appreciated ideas. as long as you won't offend them, you are in. if you are out, demonstrate a positive attitude/intention and you are allowed in. you don't have to stay around and do shit. you don't have to prove stuff daily. it's about who you are, perhaps what you would do, if it was really important and more importantly how you would do it. if you are okay, trustable, you are a friend. if you are not okay, you are out. the Fi user does something for you, when he feels the opportunity is strong. only when he has exactly what you need. or whenever you ask for something and he doesn't feel like it's asking too much or that he doesn't have, what you ask for. he won't produce shallow gifts just so there is a frequent ritual of giving. he may occasionally be curious if you need something, until he learns that you never need something or that you would always ask if you needed something or he knows what you need but feels unable to give it. he may repeatedly let you know, that he likes you, but won't prove that he "cares", because you have to care for yourself, he will only grant and support it. Fi is busy taking care of the owner's subject in the same way, that Ti is busy taking care of the owner's subject. if he "cares", he does so more through Te, than through Fi, just like the Ti user will care through Fe. Te caring is the practical curiosity, that i have already described, motivated by Fi, of course. when life changes (more sex with boyfriend) it's the most natural thing for Fi to hope that it is free to follow this change and it's like a proof of Fi's trust, if she doesn't even feel that, that she must ask, if it's okay, if she spends less time with you. her Fi version of loyalty is in allowing you to do the same, not in wanting you around. if your Ti feels that you need to study something more interesting than the sounds up her humping and that you should be hanging out less, the Fi user should be most understanding of this, while your Fe might make you feel guilty, but your Ti can handle it.

 

[tvrgvryen]

I feel that INFPs are total opposites from me even though we are typed as similar. I find them annoying in that they are aimless, feeble, and overly emotional. Of course, this is an opinion and a generalization.

 

[Duxwing]

Tell her how her having sex with her boyfriend when you are around makes you feel, and ask her therefore to stop.

-Duxwing

 

[TheScornedReflex]

Or ask to join in.

 

[Jennywocky]

Or ask to join in.

Sounds like a win-win, regardless....?

 

[Etheri]

Fukyo? Adaire?
Can someone with attitude come tell this girl what to do before there's a wave of guys telling her to have a threesome.

Well, didn't quite get the gender right but

Or ask to join in.

Sounds like a win-win, regardless....?

I'd say we've got two winners! Jenny you're one of the guys now.

 

[samjonathan]

it's all good, the situation is no longer

Fi is such a headfuck though

 

[Cherry Cola]

i often perceive Fe types, except for Fe doms, as cow-like. you know how you can bump a cow and she won't really be bothered by it. Fe types have such a strong sense of belonging to a family, that doesn't even exist, from the perspective of Fi types. for Fi types, there is a network that consists out of laws about boundaries, it's about what would be allowed, when it is wanted. there is no static relationship, other than those laws, which could be interpreted as "relating" in the sense of being compatible. acting on those laws happens spontaneously and "nobody" keeps track of it. Fi relationships are not in the practice or ritual of interaction, they are just like appreciated ideas. as long as you won't offend them, you are in. if you are out, demonstrate a positive attitude/intention and you are allowed in. you don't have to stay around and do shit. you don't have to prove stuff daily. it's about who you are, perhaps what you would do, if it was really important and more importantly how you would do it. if you are okay, trustable, you are a friend. if you are not okay, you are out. the Fi user does something for you, when he feels the opportunity is strong. only when he has exactly what you need. or whenever you ask for something and he doesn't feel like it's asking too much or that he doesn't have, what you ask for. he won't produce shallow gifts just so there is a frequent ritual of giving. he may occasionally be curious if you need something, until he learns that you never need something or that you would always ask if you needed something or he knows what you need but feels unable to give it. he may repeatedly let you know, that he likes you, but won't prove that he "cares", because you have to care for yourself, he will only grant and support it. Fi is busy taking care of the owner's subject in the same way, that Ti is busy taking care of the owner's subject. if he "cares", he does so more through Te, than through Fi, just like the Ti user will care through Fe. Te caring is the practical curiosity, that i have already described, motivated by Fi, of course. when life changes (more sex with boyfriend) it's the most natural thing for Fi to hope that it is free to follow this change and it's like a proof of Fi's trust, if she doesn't even feel that, that she must ask, if it's okay, if she spends less time with you. her Fi version of loyalty is in allowing you to do the same, not in wanting you around. if your Ti feels that you need to study something more interesting than the sounds up her humping and that you should be hanging out less, the Fi user should be most understanding of this, while your Fe might make you feel guilty, but your Ti can handle it.

Good post but about the first part..

It doesn't make sense to call Fe "static" in comparison with Fi; Fe judges in accordance with the environment, thus reflecting its state of flux. The Fi axioms or "laws about boundaries" in turn resonate with the subjective moral principles of any said person excercising Fi; likewise these principles -while they probably change at a steadier rate than their Fe counterpart- still change. Fi users aren't some emo-robots with precisely programmed values which remain the same through their lives.

Which is the more fluxative overall is hard to say because it's pretty darn situational when you think about it.

 

[Turniphead]

i often perceive Fe types, except for Fe doms, as cow-like. you know how you can bump a cow and she won't really be bothered by it. Fe types have such a strong sense of belonging to a family, that doesn't even exist, from the perspective of Fi types. for Fi types, there is a network that consists out of laws about boundaries, it's about what would be allowed, when it is wanted. there is no static relationship, other than those laws, which could be interpreted as "relating" in the sense of being compatible. acting on those laws happens spontaneously and "nobody" keeps track of it. Fi relationships are not in the practice or ritual of interaction, they are just like appreciated ideas. as long as you won't offend them, you are in. if you are out, demonstrate a positive attitude/intention and you are allowed in. you don't have to stay around and do shit. you don't have to prove stuff daily. it's about who you are, perhaps what you would do, if it was really important and more importantly how you would do it. if you are okay, trustable, you are a friend. if you are not okay, you are out. the Fi user does something for you, when he feels the opportunity is strong. only when he has exactly what you need. or whenever you ask for something and he doesn't feel like it's asking too much or that he doesn't have, what you ask for. he won't produce shallow gifts just so there is a frequent ritual of giving. he may occasionally be curious if you need something, until he learns that you never need something or that you would always ask if you needed something or he knows what you need but feels unable to give it. he may repeatedly let you know, that he likes you, but won't prove that he "cares", because you have to care for yourself, he will only grant and support it. Fi is busy taking care of the owner's subject in the same way, that Ti is busy taking care of the owner's subject. if he "cares", he does so more through Te, than through Fi, just like the Ti user will care through Fe. Te caring is the practical curiosity, that i have already described, motivated by Fi, of course. when life changes (more sex with boyfriend) it's the most natural thing for Fi to hope that it is free to follow this change and it's like a proof of Fi's trust, if she doesn't even feel that, that she must ask, if it's okay, if she spends less time with you. her Fi version of loyalty is in allowing you to do the same, not in wanting you around. if your Ti feels that you need to study something more interesting than the sounds up her humping and that you should be hanging out less, the Fi user should be most understanding of this, while your Fe might make you feel guilty, but your Ti can handle it.

Wow...

This might explain what is happening in my relationship with an INFP right now.


It's a really important relationship, but I don't know how to deal with this.

 

[walfin]

In general girls just seem to see eligible male friends as backup plans I think.

Much less to do with being INFPs, more to do with culture and demand/supply.

 

[viche]

she's very confusing though because sometimes she almost insists on seeing me, and she always tells me how i'm special to her and stuff but just never acts like it

She is stringing you along and using you to satisfy her own emotional needs. You are there only to make her feel better, to make her feel like she isn't lonely and has plenty of guys around. This is why you're feeling that she isn't putting any effort into the friendship. It's all about her in the end. Since she is inconsiderate about your needs, this is a poor friendship.

I've seen INFP girls do this before. String people along with sweet and kind words, make them feel like they are special with compliments, but then later never do anything with them. Their kindness was only in words. This is typical INFP emotional manipulation.