I'm lonely, please help me not feel sad

[Dorkyking]

Self explanatory title

 

[Black Rose]

why are you sad french person?
why do you have no friends?
I have no friends but found out people can go without but makes them fatigued.
for the long time I do nothing but in school, I just work. no thoughts.
then I finish school and left home lived in shelter but had no purpose.

Naturally, you need to look in places for friends but where?
School was my last chance but the internet exists now.
VRchat is fun but I have no money for a VR helmet.
Also I have no job and my mental health.

I found no purpose in friends before, I want to make a.i. but not smart enough only big tech comp can higher the smart people to do it. So soon we will have a.i. friends.

loss of purpose drains dopamine so insomnia sets in. it is an energy problem. In school, I gained no energy from having friends. but I was lonely because I had a hole in me caused by being unloved. I love people with my brain. I have no hobbies.

I do not know if this makes you less sad. but I got a new anxiety medication that helps. so I am less sad just because I ignore it. I mean I am sad but the noise makes me not feel it. You do not need medication but I do so I think you like it when people are not sad and can be happy.

 

[Cegorach]

Very interesting introduction.

I'm pleased to meet you too, my name is Cigrakhehseish or something.
Sorry, but I can't be bothered to look several inches to the left of what I'm typing to check my username.

I do not know how to solve loneliness or sadness, but I do worry you may be a little disappointed by a forum where it sometimes will take days for members to get back to you.

As somebody who has had a point in their life where they spent years having minimally spoken to almost anybody, I think something that helps, though it is not a permanent solution, is to have human voices present in the background.

So, y'know, YouTube or Twitch or podcasts or whatever floats your life jacket.
Humor preferable.

Anyway, unsolicited advice aside, I have interrogated your thread title and it was not forthcoming at all. I even tried rearranging the letters. Please advise.

 

[Drvladivostok]

Hang in there buddy, I've been there, its hard to be positive in this shitty world but we gotta bear the suffering and find some comfort in it.

My advice is Identify your problems then eliminate it. Why are you lonely?

It might sounds harsh but if you focus in your emotions too much you won't get anywhere from a mental health perspective, you can mitigate your loneliness by changing your external world, go meet people that is the same wave-length as you and make friends. What you want to avoid is the loser mentality that by doing nothing you can find some salvation by the end of the tunnel, in this world you gotta help yourself and be willing to help others so they return the favor.

 

[Dorkyking]

What can I say?
I watched Lord of the rings and did not enjoy it. Serious shit. Not normal behavior. How can someone possibly watch lord of the rings - not enjoy it - and consider itself "mentally sane"? Goddam!
Joke aside, Intpish me started to realize something was wrong : the closest accountainces of mine will probably not message me before two or three months. Simple stats (I literally calculated it lol).
Then I started extrapolating. Because, like, I know myself. If anomie starts coming in my life, it's hard getting it away. Apathy is big in me.
But anyway, this was overthinking over a future I do not know about yet.
...
Concerning the title thread, I was just a lazy ass lol. "Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?".
The problem now, well... I think I put a finger on it : It's in control now. No need to worry about it.
Well, sort of... Thing is, I still need some company, I guess. But I will find some eventually.
...
Funny thing also, irony : I started becoming depressed the first time in my life upon wanting to learn about it. I read dozen of articles, heard testimonies and at the moment was like "How very interesting!". Until one month later... I notice I have some sort of empathy inside me. First time in my life I discover I'm a human being. Yes, I am. I can replicate emotions. Even sad ones.
Lol.

 

[scorpiomover]

Joke aside, Intpish me started to realize something was wrong : the closest accountainces of mine will probably not message me before two or three months. Simple stats (I literally calculated it lol).

Most people keep regular contact with those who make regular contact with them. If you want friends to contact you every week, then you need to make the effort to contact them every week, and then they'll usually do the same.

Funny thing also, irony : I started becoming depressed the first time in my life upon wanting to learn about it. I read dozen of articles, heard testimonies and at the moment was like "How very interesting!". Until one month later...

A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. You learn just enough to worry, but not enough to solve those worries. The purpose of things being interesting, is that they indicate something is there that could be useful.

So rather than focus just on what is interesting, also focus on keeping on digging into that knowledge until you find what is useful, and then do what is useful.

 

[Dorkyking]

Solid point.

I'd beg to differ on the second point, but that's personal opinion.

 

[Cegorach]

But anyway, this was overthinking over a future I do not know about yet.
...
The problem now, well... I think I put a finger on it : It's in control now. No need to worry about it.

Aha! Overthinking it.

Knowing how to deflect the self-fabricated arrow of predestination is a worthwhile skill indeed.

But yes, I assure you that in all of us, once you loofah away the callouses of identity and pretense you're left with something very raw and very, very human, no matter how we may associate ourselves otherwise.

Good luck on your further conquests, fellow marauder.

Postscriptum:
For what it's worth, I am an unrepentant heretic who has never had any particular enthusiasm for the Lord of the Rings films, but then I must admit that I wouldn't know normal behavior if it were a big black cock slapping me in the face.

 

[birdsnestfern]

What do you think would help? Just feeling more in control?

First think about some ideals that you want in your life, ie, find some new dreams and goals.

Then put them on sticky notes and do one or two things every other day towards those new goals.

Make small goals like I will walk to the stop sign every day for a week.

When you accomplish small things, think back and be proud of yourself and then make the goals a little harder, ie, get a degree, talk to people, etc.

 

[Old Things]

I think your problem may be out of your control. I say that because the tone of your posts doesn't seem like it comes from a Debbie downer. I suggest finding a group where you can talk and listen to people in real life. Doesn't really matter what it is. Perhaps you could learn a hobby to be a part of said group?

Best of luck!

 

[Tomten]

I read the wikipedia page on schizoids a while back and I recall it saying that schizoids social functioning frequently improve when they engage in anonymous real time conversations (like chatting online). Do you think the same is true of you maybe? (even if you don't meet the diagnostic criteria of a schizoid)

Anyway, personally I recall strongly relating to pretty much all of the symptoms of schizoids described in that article (except that I'm overweight which would supposedly be abnormal for a schizoid).
This may help explain why when I used to play WoW a lot in my teenage years and early 20's I had no issues making friends without trying to do so and those friendships would also last longer than IRL ones. This is despite the fact that last time I had friends IRL was when I was about 12. But I think it also has to do with the game forcing people to pursue goals that you have to work together on to achieve if you want to keep progressing. Personally I felt that the friendships I had in WoW were sufficiently fullfilling. I don't recall having bouts of loneliness when I played WoW, unlike nowadays. But yeah so this is what I think I remember but I imagine my memory might a little fickle when it comes to what I used to feel.


Anyway, my point with all of this is that you could try getting into WoW or something comparable. But if the friendships (I doubt you won't make any if you play for several months) you make there aren't fullfilling, that sweet feeling you may get of progression and as if you're living in another world (a much cooler one than IRL) you get while playing WoW may help you with your sadness problem (for me it also seemed to make me not care about stuff IRL because I was living in another world, so to speak, and this could be a positive or negative thing, dependinh on how you view it). Progressing in real life (like losing weight, going to the gym, studying more, just being less of a lazy self-indulgent loser) I've found to also feel pretty sweet (big shocker, I know). The problem is, even though at the end of the day you may feel pretty accomplished
, doing the work is less fun than what you have to do to progress in WoW and thus harder to stick to.

 

[Dorkyking]

I've had time to think. I know what's going on, what to do. And yes : It's manageable.

Thank you for all your support, it's heavilly appreciated

 

[birdsnestfern]

Maybe you need a magic spell to fall in love with yourself!

Its as simple as essential oils, candles and crystals.


Put a dab of Jasmine oil on your wrists. Light a pink candle, and hold a pink quartz crystal. Think loving thoughts about yourself. (Direct your focus on appreciating YOU!).