I love when people think I'm "lying" about being mute.

[Bunny]

Or speech impaired, whatever. I don't actually give a shit what I'm called. It's just like, online people think I'm trolling and IRL people think I'm doing it for attention.
Because really, I'm totally making my life a severe inconvenience for entertainment purposes.
Fucking morons.
Sorry I needed to rant about that.

 

[Jason]

I used to work at a def relay center. Have you ever used it before?

 

[Bunny]

Not really, I just text. My not talking is cos of serious anxiety though. Like if I'm with my son I can talk. Anywhere else I just use sign language. If I try it doesn't even work, so it's not even a choice thing, so I don't really get involved with the deaf community because my issue is caused by anxiety. :\

 

[Jason]

I can understand the anxiety. I get nervous the second I walk out the door.

 

[7even]

Anyone maybe try having a cheeky spliff for anxiety? ... Just wondering

 

[7even]

This feels really awkward...

 

[Jason]

I used to grow so....yes! I'm trying something different these days (sober).

 

[Acedia]

[Note to self: anxiety issues are apparently not so rare, so you can stop being anxious over your own anxiety issues.]

 

[Cavallier]

Anxiety to the point of not being able to speak in most situations is worrisome. I'm sure everyone and their ugly aunt has asked you this already but have you considered seeking some sort of counseling? Or, do you at least have someone who you trust implicitly and with whom you can talk about this with? And don't think for a second I think you are crazy or that you should be treated with kid gloves.

I hate it when someone finally shows their peers some anxiety issue or other they have and everyone suddenly thinks they are crazy. People are incredibly prejudiced that way.

Anyway, rant all you need. We...uh...have a "shout thread" in Elysium should you so desire.

 

[Saoshyant]

Have you considered medication?

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I was thinking of physical speech impairment. You are talking about selective mutism, right?

 

[snafupants]

You could be lying but I certainly wouldn't make that assertion without ample evidence.

 

[Bunny]

Anyone maybe try having a cheeky spliff for anxiety? ... Just wondering

Allergic

 

[Bunny]

Anxiety to the point of not being able to speak in most situations is worrisome. I'm sure everyone and their ugly aunt has asked you this already but have you considered seeking some sort of counseling? Or, do you at least have someone who you trust implicitly and with whom you can talk about this with? And don't think for a second I think you are crazy or that you should be treated with kid gloves.

I hate it when someone finally shows their peers some anxiety issue or other they have and everyone suddenly thinks they are crazy. People are incredibly prejudiced that way.

Anyway, rant all you need. We...uh...have a "shout thread" in Elysium should you so desire.

Oddly enough, not talking makes my anxiety go away. Therapy doesnt help, and I hate the medication. I can sign though so it's fine. I figure this works, and I'm not going to fix it if it's not really broken.

 

[Bunny]

I was thinking of physical speech impairment. You are talking about selective mutism, right?

Yep. Probably one of the most misunderstood mental disorders on the planet lol

 

[EyeSeeCold]

I've never known anyone in person who was diagnosed as such, though I see all the time how some people become more talkative around certain others and then shut down around another group, usually it occurs in children. The most I've experienced is social shyness, for some reason sometimes I don't feel like responding or that anything I say would not turn out positive.

 

[Amagi82]

Anxiety used to bother me a bit through school, but then I tried not giving a shit, and it's worked wonders.

 

[The Gopher]

I wanted to lie about selective mutism. However you can talk to yourself right? If so I have a question. Would talking and uploading a audio clip to youtube have the same effect? As in would anxiety be there when you were recording with the intention of uploading or when you had finished and was in the procces of uploading. Or would it not happen at all?

I am just curious as I am interested in how people act and have been looking at this topic in something I am writing.

 

[Minuend]

Anxiety used to bother me a bit through school, but then I tried not giving a shit, and it's worked wonders.

Then you probably didn't have anxiety. It is not something one can just shrug off.

 

[Cavallier]

Oddly enough, not talking makes my anxiety go away. Therapy doesnt help, and I hate the medication. I can sign though so it's fine. I figure this works, and I'm not going to fix it if it's not really broken.

Sounds like you are functional so no worries. I have often considered the ramifications of taking a voluntary vow of silence for a year. It would be different from what you are going through of course as I could speak if I wanted. I'd have to quit my job and change some other things in my life. I bet it would be interesting to live life like that for a while.

 

[Don't mind me]

I have often considered the ramifications of taking a voluntary vow of silence for a year. It would be different from what you are going through of course as I could speak if I wanted.

I don't know about that, (non-gendered) bro. Admittedly, this is based on something I read on a forum quite some time ago, but this girl (who, it should be noted, had had anxiety issues in the past) decided to stop talking to "see if [she] could do it," and ended up being unable to communicate verbally. (It got better though)


Hmm. @Bunny, if you don't mind me asking, what was the onset like?

 

[Bunny]

I've never known anyone in person who was diagnosed as such, though I see all the time how some people become more talkative around certain others and then shut down around another group, usually it occurs in children. The most I've experienced is social shyness, for some reason sometimes I don't feel like responding or that anything I say would not turn out positive.

I don't talk at all once I leave my house to anyone but my son. If me and him leave, and we're talking outside I get anxious but not as much as normal. It's more than just shyness o.O;

 

[Bunny]

I wanted to lie about selective mutism. However you can talk to yourself right? If so I have a question. Would talking and uploading a audio clip to youtube have the same effect? As in would anxiety be there when you were recording with the intention of uploading or when you had finished and was in the procces of uploading. Or would it not happen at all?

I am just curious as I am interested in how people act and have been looking at this topic in something I am writing.

I don't talk to myself lol But there are videos from when I was younger on youtube where I talk. I'm either incredibly drunk or highly medicated. It wasn't fun otherwise I'd have just stuck with it

 

[Bunny]

Sounds like you are functional so no worries. I have often considered the ramifications of taking a voluntary vow of silence for a year. It would be different from what you are going through of course as I could speak if I wanted. I'd have to quit my job and change some other things in my life. I bet it would be interesting to live life like that for a while.

It's not so bad if you can sign, really.

 

[Bunny]

I don't know about that, (non-gendered) bro. Admittedly, this is based on something I read on a forum quite some time ago, but this girl (who, it should be noted, had had anxiety issues in the past) decided to stop talking to "see if [she] could do it," and ended up being unable to communicate verbally. (It got better though)


Hmm. @Bunny, if you don't mind me asking, what was the onset like?

You mean she decided to stop, then tried to again and couldn't ?
And the onset isn't like some distinct thing. Like, when I was a kid, I would just whisper to my sister, so my parents sent me to a special school. Then I was okay for primary school. When high school started I just didn't feel like talking cos I had nothing to say and I lived in my own world I guess, so it came back. My mum put me on medication that time and I was okay. If I don't take the gross medicine I don't talk basically.

 

[Cognisant]

So if you're outside and not talking or being prompted to talk verbally you're not anxious?

If so that's really interesting, my first guess would be some sort of speech related trauma (even something as innocuous as pushy parents trying to teach you to speak) but that's not strictly necessary, it could just be a wiring thing, maybe the speech part of your brain didn't develop well so speaking verbally requires you to re-task the part of your brain in charge of keeping your natural level of anxiety in check.

If it's purely psychological a compounding factor is that your vocal cords may be weakened from lack of use (I've had that, for different reasons) so when trying to speak the inability to accurately control your voice or to speak loud enough to be heard clearly would make you even more anxious.

Try hypnotherapy, reputable hypnotherapy.

But only if you want to, it works best when it's what you want, and y'know for all the people out there who enjoy peace and quiet the silent communication thing is pretty cool, I mean who says we have to make noises at each other to communicate?
It's kinda weird when you think about it

 

[Bunny]

So if you're outside and not talking or being prompted to talk verbally you're not anxious?

If so that's really interesting, my first guess would be some sort of speech related trauma (even something as innocuous as pushy parents trying to teach you to speak) but that's not strictly necessary, it could just be a wiring thing, maybe the speech part of your brain didn't develop well so speaking verbally requires you to re-task the part of your brain in charge of keeping your natural level of anxiety in check.

If it's purely psychological a compounding factor is that your vocal cords may be weakened from lack of use (I've had that, for different reasons) so when trying to speak the inability to accurately control your voice or to speak loud enough to be heard clearly would make you even more anxious.

Try hypnotherapy, reputable hypnotherapy.

But only if you want to, it works best when it's what you want, and y'know for all the people out there who enjoy peace and quiet the silent communication thing is pretty cool, I mean who says we have to make noises at each other to communicate?
It's kinda weird when you think about it

Basically. And I don't know what caused it, but I don't care. This works I guess.
I love when people online think I'm fucking with them (Like OKCupid) and end up meeting me and realising I'm telling the truth. Bahah.

 

[Don't mind me]

You mean she decided to stop, then tried to again and couldn't ?

Here's the quote (and the thread, I think non-members can read it, not sure):
[JUSTIF]

"I at first stopped because I wanted to see if I could do it. Then
it took over me. It got to the point where I couldn't force myself
to talk anymore. Now, whenever I get too stressed, I just... go
silent. And until i'm ready, I can't talk, and if I try too hard to, or
if someone tries to force me, I go into a panic attack."​

[/JUSTIF]

Over the course of ~1y she progressively went from not speaking to anyone to speaking to everyone except her grandmother and people at her barn, apparently.

And the onset isn't like some distinct thing. Like, when I was a kid, I would just whisper to my sister, so my parents sent me to a special school. Then I was okay for primary school. When high school started I just didn't feel like talking cos I had nothing to say and I lived in my own world I guess, so it came back. My mum put me on medication that time and I was okay. If I don't take the gross medicine I don't talk basically.

Hmm, that does sound similar (albeit a bit less whimsical), if your stopping in high school was controlled.


And, I know this isn't really a "hey ask me questions plix" thread, but I'm just wondering: do you think it would be easier (or even easy) to speak if people didn't think of it as a big deal?

 

[eagor]

i would hope bunnies didn't know how to talk

 

[Bunny]

Here's the quote (and the thread, I think non-members can read it, not sure):
[JUSTIF]

"I at first stopped because I wanted to see if I could do it. Then
it took over me. It got to the point where I couldn't force myself
to talk anymore. Now, whenever I get too stressed, I just... go
silent. And until i'm ready, I can't talk, and if I try too hard to, or
if someone tries to force me, I go into a panic attack."​

[/JUSTIF]

Over the course of ~1y she progressively went from not speaking to anyone to speaking to everyone except her grandmother and people at her barn, apparently.



Hmm, that does sound similar (albeit a bit less whimsical), if your stopping in high school was controlled.


And, I know this isn't really a "hey ask me questions plix" thread, but I'm just wondering: do you think it would be easier (or even easy) to speak if people didn't think of it as a big deal?

I don't know. Maybe ? I think just don't like having to talk. I feel more comfortable in the silence. That's all I can pull out of it.

 

[scorpiomover]

Not really, I just text. My not talking is cos of serious anxiety though. Like if I'm with my son I can talk. Anywhere else I just use sign language. If I try it doesn't even work, so it's not even a choice thing, so I don't really get involved with the deaf community because my issue is caused by anxiety. :\

So, like Raj from The Big Bang Theory?

Thumbs up for that one. For one, there was a great episode of The Simpsons, where his jaw was wired shut for a few weeks. Everyone thought he was being really witty and really wonderful.

Personally, it reminds me of the conversations I had with my dog, when I took her for walks. I talk to myself a lot. But she used to give different looks back, as if she was responding. Actually formed a real dialogue there. So if you do that a lot of the time, can still communicate.

Besides, it must give one plenty of excuse to communicate with one's mouth in a non-verbal manner, such as by kissing. That is, provided one has already found sufficient intellectual stimulation to be turned on in the first place. But with me, that's not hard, even if I do say so myself.

 

[Bunny]

So, like Raj from The Big Bang Theory?

Thumbs up for that one. For one, there was a great episode of The Simpsons, where his jaw was wired shut for a few weeks. Everyone thought he was being really witty and really wonderful.

Personally, it reminds me of the conversations I had with my dog, when I took her for walks. I talk to myself a lot. But she used to give different looks back, as if she was responding. Actually formed a real dialogue there. So if you do that a lot of the time, can still communicate.

Besides, it must give one plenty of excuse to communicate with one's mouth in a non-verbal manner, such as by kissing. That is, provided one has already found sufficient intellectual stimulation to be turned on in the first place. But with me, that's not hard, even if I do say so myself.

I've never seen the big bang theory, but from what I read, he only does it around women ? I do it any time there are numerous people and outside my house.

But yeah, I use facial expressions and sign language ;P

 

[Grove]

Do most people assume that you are deaf?
What are the common reactions when you tell people you aren't deaf?
Do you experience any form of discrimination (from the hearing or deaf community)?

 

[EyeSeeCold]

My psychologist side is interested in the personal history that holds the root cause that developed into the mute behavior. I'd like to know the fundamental and straightforward desire/motivation/anxiety behind it.

It's interesting to try to delve into yourself and find psychological reasons for things, I do it frequently but I know it's not always productive, it may help greatly or it may do nothing at all. I guess it helps when your behavior is subconscious.

 

[Bunny]

Do most people assume that you are deaf?
What are the common reactions when you tell people you aren't deaf?
Do you experience any form of discrimination (from the hearing or deaf community)?

Yes they do. I have cards that say I can hear.. Both reactions though either they think I'm deaf or can hear properly is to talk loudly, and slow. It's fucking irritating as shit.

And people who hear normally just think I'm doing it as a form of control, or manipulation, or because I'm rude. Deaf people don't seem to give a shit, but I don't go to their community centres cos I don't really want to deal with it from them either.

 

[Bunny]

My psychologist side is interested in the personal history that holds the root cause that developed into the mute behavior. I'd like to know the fundamental and straightforward desire/motivation/anxiety behind it.

It's interesting to try to delve into yourself and find psychological reasons for things, I do it frequently but I know it's not always productive, it may help greatly or it may do nothing at all. I guess it helps when your behavior is subconscious.

It's been suggested that I don't like the sound of my own voice. Also I have noise anxiety ? That's really all I can pull from it, without someone sitting around asking me questions lol
I don't know what caused it, but noise anxiety is probably related.

 

[Reluctantly]

I used to fantasize about not being able to hear anyone. Then no one would expect me to use my voice and show emotions and shit. I'm kind of jealous, although it probably bothers you.

Is your voice messed up or something?; why don't you like the sound of your voice? Do you find most voices unpleasant?

 

[Bunny]

I just don't like most sounds if it's loud. Talking is loud ?

 

[Reluctantly]

^ I understand that completely. People are too loud; they speak so much they have to speak over each other. They are so loud about how they shut doors, voice their emotions, and interact with other people, and the cell phone aggregates it all. Then everyone has to have intentionally loud and annoying cars and speaker systems.

I swear if 90% of the world died in a nuclear holocaust, I think I would party.

 

[Chimera]

I swear if 90% of the world died in a nuclear holocaust, I think I would party.

That's assuming that you are a very, very lucky person.
​

 

[Bunny]

Partying would be loud lol

Hey guys. You know what is going to be a fun task ? -.-;
Looking for a job.
I have no idea if I'm even supposed to disclose this on my resume or not.
This sucks.

 

[Mello]

Have you tried yelling instead of talking?

Spoiler

My parents like to do that.

Instead of discussing their point calmly, whoever says it the loudest is the most correct.

 

[Bunny]

No lol

 

[Grove]

Well, diagnosed disabilities fall under a federal no discrimination law. You won't be hired because of it, but you can't be fired because of it either (at least not directly). What would you like to do? Where do you think you'd be most comfortable? What are your skills? Is there a community of people where you live or online that have the same experiences? They may help you with ideas on what career path to take.

 

[Bunny]

Im in school for engineering, but right now I just want a job to work like 2 days a week or something

 

[und]

I was selectively mute for about two and a half years in primary school. I think very few people can possibly relate to the condition, because it's so far out of their field of understanding. Whenever it's mentioned on a forum, a few people will say they were selectively mute in school or that they are mute now. They will then mention how they spoke very little or very quietly. That's not selective mutism and most of those people have no idea how it actually is for someone with selective mutism... I did not utter a single word in school for two and a half years, yet I would happily speak to my parents or to anyone over the phone. Of course I wanted to talk like everybody else, but I just could not do it. The fact that I thought that people would make a big fuss out of it was just overwhelming, and I couldn't speak around these people, almost on a physical level.

After that two and a half years I felt I was ready to overcome the problem so I switched schools in order to avoid starting to speak to so many people I'd known for so long, and I've never looked back. Today I doubt anybody would suspect I had any kind of anxiety issue because that's how much I've trampled all over it. You could tell me to give a speech on live television in half an hour from now and I'd have fewer anxiety issues doing that than almost anyone. Perhaps overriding my emotions so strongly has had a lasting effect on me (or perhaps that's just a part of my INTP-ness), but I'd take that any day over being mute around almost everybody except immediate family and peculiarly, complete strangers who I also had no problems speaking to.

Unfortunately there's not much I can say other than sound completely stupid and say: just override your anxiety. I know it's extremely difficult, but once you do it once it gets easier and easier. Do it enough times and you'll forget that you had an issue to start with. It's just taking that first step that's very, very tricky, but you don't have to dive right into it. If you take small steps like continuing to speak to your son normally even when walking past crowds, saying hello and goodbye when you go into a shop and other little things like that, you can build a ladder step by step to take you out of the well of anxiety.