For me killing is acceptable if it achieves something constructive for the individual or a community of them . Serial killers are to killing what masturbation is to raising a family: A revelry in the attainment of pleasure as opposed to the construction or preservation of something that can last decades or generations, even after the individual is dead. The same goes for war: I find it ok for a nation to invade another for existential reasons, but going to war purely on the basis of religion or ideology is a waste of effort, effort better spent managing the nation itself.
Now I'll be skipping past philosophical themes and address some of the answers you gave me.
--Details about myself to give you some idea of where I am coming from:
In terms of drugs I 'just' smoked weed almost daily for a year, I masturbated 1-3 times a week ever since semen could be produced(with pornography an ever present indulgence, some sick stuff contributing to a few warped views ) and I was addicted, aye, addicted, to a great variety of video games and the internet to boot.
Up until recently I have not had clear goals in life and any meaning attached to it was instantaneous: I can do this now, it feels good, so I do it. Fuck the future, fuck hard work fuck building up a legacy that will only be consumed by my death.
Some of my thoughts had turned to your mode of thinking, where I considered revelry in taking life and the utter meaninglessness of such acts in the grand scheme of things. How to get away with it, will I kill myself afterwards, or if I am caught, and so on.
To put it bluntly, I despise what I was and while some impulses of my above missteps are still present, I deal with them on a day-to-day basis. I imagine the above described being as an amphibian mass of slime which I have chained to wall, kicking it every day and yearning for that moment in life when I will scatter it's ashes into the wind. It is contained now, but not completely defeated. The fight goes on.
I am excited about what the future holds for me. After some years of work I hope to have completed certain courses, which will assure my future employment in a field that I am deeply passionate about (the African bush). I actually want to start a family, I want to raise children with someone I deeply care about, but before that comes about financial stability and certain social improvements are non-negotiable.--
Now, here is my advice. It's not easy advice, but shortish:
1.Stop masturbating. Do it only once every 30 days, or 20 on first attempt. Stretching past 30 days is even more advantageous. (Not very sciency here, but basically your testorone levels go up, your balls grow big and you want to be active, want to achieve things to impress other apes and potential mates and so forth).
You want to do things and do them right, or learn how to do them right. You want to risk your life to build it up.
2.Now: The things you do have to be constructive. With increased testosterone comes increased impulses and sometimes anger. Exercise is key here, and even walking for an hour each day or even 10 kms really helps. Other 'hard' hobbies (ie: not video games or chess) also help. Whether it be learning to weld, going camping every weekend or carving figurines from bone. Build something, be active in the three-dimensional sphere that is life.
Having male friends also help here, they usually allow one to focus on a specific sphere of activity in an intense manner, call it meditation or call it hunting with fellow tribesman. Either way, that is one biological facet behind the convention of friendship.
3.Drop drugs. Hard to do, yes. Going cold turkey is almost impossible with certain substances, so I suggest alcohol. Maybe drink a beer or a glass of whiskey each night, and get drunk 2 or 4 times a month.
4.Video games do not make one violent, but they do counteract many of the above ambitions: The taste of false achievement on a computer does not come close to achieving something in real life. More people are also touched by the second type of succes, and if they aren't, fuck them, you still built something. Go on building and you will soon have something substantive instead of a fleeting xp gain or kill or whatnot on the computer.
This is a rough list, but basically it is restoring a balance in your biology. Becoming a well-functioning animal, almost being 'reborn' in a non-religious sense. If you have done what I suggest for two months, maybe four, and your impulses are as strong as ever, either seek help or go down the deep end. At that point, I can not help you, I operate on no brains.
**I must also add that those around can be of great help. Do not tell them everything or even anything, just say "I am going to do this, and stop doing that. If you see me struggling or regressing, stop me or help me."
These are things I have noticed in the imbalance of some males, especially younger ones(Of which I am one) and urban ones(of which I was one for a year).
If my advice holds no value to you, so be it. If it does, best of luck.
***also, if there are woods or bush within 10kms near you(or more if you drive), go there from time to time. The monotony of buildings has the tendency to stifle the spirit. Climb a tree, make a fire or just throw stones at birds. Don't kill a dog but by Zeus birds are fair game.
If you do feel the compulsion to hunt mammals, do it for food. Venison is quite healthy and hunting brings you into the sun with twig scrapes, triumphs and defeats.
