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I hate that, but I think I am over reacting am I?

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Well I hate being touched a LOT I even stopped shaking hands with guys I try to avoid any kind of physical contact.Even my family members have a hard time to hug me or even shake hands with me my younger brother an *INFJ* who happened to be one of the closest people to me although I kinda get annoyed cause I think he doesn't give me enough space started to wear gloves to be able to shake hands with me without me complaining about it.I feel really sorry for him and my mother*an ENFP*,cause whenever they try to show how much they love me I am annoyed.At times I show them that I love them and even tell them so that they don't get me wrong,but I think it is unfair to be annoyed when they try to do the same while they accept me the way I am.Is it just me or is it an INTP thing?
 
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Any advice to fix that?
 

WittyUsername

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Wow.
I cant remember anything which I've felt so strongly about. I'm also not really fond of getting hugs but I never get annoyed. I mean its a part of being human and shouldn't affect you so strongly.

I think you are over reacting or thinking about it too much.
 

EyeSeeCold

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I'm not comfortable being touched by anyone other than people I'm psychologically close too. Attractive members of the opposite sex are nice too, in general.
 
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My brother is really serious about the glove thing it kinda makes me think my reaction is really really stupid he told me "See I will wear that glove now we can shake hands, now you have no reason anymore to complain about it". Maybe I should explain more usually I am thinking about a story I am planning to write or am deeply in thought when someone talks to me I don't even notice them when I am finished with that thought I ask if anyone has talked to me or something,but when someone touches me I feel like they are interrupting me or entering my personal space which can make me angry or annoyed *depends on what I have been thinking about*. I also noticed when doing routine that I don't really pay attention to what I am doing I keep thinking about random stuff, and only notice that I have finished something without even realizing it I am really living in a different world. I started hating myself because of that, but it kinda feels weird when being touched by others even my parents.I think I will have to change that, but I already know it will take a lot of time.
 

The Gopher

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Yeah I am uncomfortable with contact but not completely adverse.
 

Cognisant

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You're probably not clinically schizoid, although it's hard to make such judgements definitively as everyone is different and "schizoid" is only a classification for people exhibiting certain behavioural traits/problems that interfere with daily life to a sufficient degree that it could be called a disorder (just as disease is technically any measurable loss of the body's normal functioning capacity).

Well anyway, personal explorations of the subject have led me to believe that this touch aversion/phobia is primarily the result of either not being touched enough as a child and/or traumatic experiences that involved being touched (a mishandled infant receiving a dislocated arm for example). Now you see the problem with such "disorders" is that you may feel inclined to defend it, stating that it is merely an aspect of your personal behavioural identity and should be accepted as such, which is entirely valid, there's nothing actually wrong with you. Indeed if the majority of society had encountered the stimuli that led you to develop this manner of behavioural bias it would probably be accepted as the norm, making overly "touchy" people seem weird, and they would likely be ostracised as a result.

However if this really is a disorder for you (it's affecting your life in some negative way) then of course it may be beneficial for you to change, not for the sake of society wishing you to conform to some standard of normality, instead for your own sake, so that you may live a healthier, happier life.

To do this we must understand the nature of your behavioural bias, which more than likely is based upon a perceptual bias, that bias being that you perceive being touched as an abnormal event, an event that may trigger strong memories of negative past experiences with being touched (in which case you’ll probably need professional therapy). Or as in most cases the relative absence of physical human interaction has made you highly touch sensitive, as I’ve said before (ages ago) being hugged is for some people akin to being raped, because the same sort of personal space boundaries are being broken.

The problem is (I’m guessing, but it’s a reasonable guess) that the rarity of human contact in your life has given it powerful connotative meaning to you, that for you being touched on the arm is as much a violation of privacy as being touched somewhere generally accepted as private. Now the only way to change this is to re-evaluate your personal space, try to imagine everywhere except where you wish to be explicitly private as “public space”, better yet play some contact games with your brother (like holding one leg up with both hands and hopping around, trying to push each other over, whoever remains standing, well hopping, wins) as the crux of your bias is simply how little you’ve been touched.

Better still, tell people they’re allowed to hug you, that indeed the only way you’re going to get over your adversity to being hugged is if people hug you until you get over it.
 

SpaceYeti

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I have zero advice... yet feel like posting anyhow, for some reason. Odd.

I've always been something of a cuddler. For the longest time, I didn't really know how to show people I cared about them. However, cuddling is both comfortable and it's considered intimate. Kissing is sexy, so I understand not doing that with family. A hug is kind of like mild cuddling. Hell, I hug people as jokes. Especially when I'm in a good mood. I dunno, I've always been touchy with feelings, but in every other way I like solitude. For example, I'll hug the hell out of the people I care about, but then my attention is elsewhere and interrupting it is irritating.
 
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I have zero advice... yet feel like posting anyhow, for some reason. Odd.

I've always been something of a cuddler. For the longest time, I didn't really know how to show people I cared about them. However, cuddling is both comfortable and it's considered intimate. Kissing is sexy, so I understand not doing that with family. A hug is kind of like mild cuddling. Hell, I hug people as jokes. Especially when I'm in a good mood. I dunno, I've always been touchy with feelings, but in every other way I like solitude. For example, I'll hug the hell out of the people I care about, but then my attention is elsewhere and interrupting it is irritating.
Well thanks for sharing your thoughts. I don't have a problem to hug them at times,but I hate to receive a hug.
 

Bird

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I really hate when the goddamn clerk
touches my hand when returning my
change. DON'T!!!!!


The only real advice you're probably
going to get is "get over it". It's not
as though there ifind a non-physical
way to show your love/appreciation?
 

JarNew

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Maybe you have aspergers

or maybe you were molested as a child

I also have started wearing gloves when I know I'm going to be in a situation where people are going to want to shake my hand. I also just "pound it" now, instead of shaking hands.

Personally I think it's a difference in vibrational energy. I have much better energy then others and people just are full of negativity which conflicts with my positivity, SO FUCK EM THEY CAN TOUCH THEMSELVES LOL:twisteddevil:
 

VroumVroum

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An intp friend of mine cannot stand any kind of physical contact. He will have a strong reaction even to the slightest stimulation. And this is a lot of fun.
My advice is simple: Don’t tell guys like me. There are teasers out here you know.
 

Dimensional Transition

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I'm not comfortable being touched by anyone other than people I'm psychologically close too. Attractive members of the opposite sex are nice too, in general.

That, exactly.

I really hate when the goddamn clerk
touches my hand when returning my
change. DON'T!!!!!

AAAAH. I hate that too.

@OP: I think that you're overreacting/overthinking it. I almost slipped into this too, but you should just relax. What is it exactly that annoys you about it? What danger do you feel? Would it annoy you too if you were to touch someone you are physically attracted to?
 
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That, exactly.



AAAAH. I hate that too.

@OP: I think that you're overreacting/overthinking it. I almost slipped into this too, but you should just relax. What is it exactly that annoys you about it? What danger do you feel? Would it annoy you too if you were to touch someone you are physically attracted to?
Well I wasn't really physically attracted to anyone yet hmmm....

Sure I liked someone before,but physically attracted? Not really
I just discovered that my friends touch me because they think I am cute when I try to be serious,they think I am childish...
So basically I think they enjoy annoying me.So I decided I won't give them that pleasure,it won't bother me anymore *or at least I won't show it*.:evil:
 

SpaceYeti

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Yes, you're certainly over-thinking it. Most people don't really mean offense by the stuff most other people offend them by doing. Your situation is no different.

Cute? You're not physically attracted to people but mentally are? Are you a chick?
 

SpaceYeti

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I really hate when the goddamn clerk
touches my hand when returning my
change. DON'T!!!!!
... Like... accidentally, or because you're a chick and they want to touch you?
 

Anchorite

I trusted you Steve Guttenberg!
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I generally don't like being touched either, particularly hugged, particularly when it's unexpected. That being said, I don't tend to go nuts when it happens, but still make slight efforts to avoid it when I'm not mentally close to the person.
If you want to get over it, my advice is to just let it happen. Cringe on the inside, go wash your hands immediately after if you feel you have to. But just let it happen while it's happening and eventually you wont think so much of it.
You have to get out of your comfort zone if you ever plan to grow.
I still have to work on it, but I'm much better at dealing with it than I was before.

I really hate when the goddamn clerk
touches my hand when returning my
change. DON'T!!!!!

YES!
 
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... Like... accidentally, or because you're a chick and they want to touch you?

Do I have to answer that? Well they told me I am childish and that I look cute when I am annoyed. I hate that really really I do. When I like a boy I would just discuss some topics with him. I just hate physical contact.If they do that on purpose that would be a real problem.I have just discovered that one of my friends likes me.And he changed a lot,which makes me really not comfortable talking to him anymore. Although I didn't say anything about it.I just hope they don't think this way about me. Cause this would be really annoying. I don't think I am a chick *I hate that word BTW* I am 105094!
 
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I generally don't like being touched either, particularly hugged, particularly when it's unexpected. That being said, I don't tend to go nuts when it happens, but still make slight efforts to avoid it when I'm not mentally close to the person.
If you want to get over it, my advice is to just let it happen. Cringe on the inside, go wash your hands immediately after if you feel you have to. But just let it happen while it's happening and eventually you wont think so much of it.
You have to get out of your comfort zone if you ever plan to grow.
I still have to work on it, but I'm much better at dealing with it than I was before.



YES!
I will do the same,thanks.
 

SpaceYeti

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Do I have to answer that? Well they told me I am childish and that I look cute when I am annoyed. I hate that really really I do. When I like a boy I would just discuss some topics with him. I just hate physical contact.If they do that on purpose that would be a real problem.I have just discovered that one of my friends likes me.And he changed a lot,which makes me really not comfortable talking to him anymore. Although I didn't say anything about it.I just hope they don't think this way about me. Cause this would be really annoying. I don't think I am a chick *I hate that word BTW* I am 105094!
What does that mean? Also, what's wrong with "chick"? And how would you be cute when annoyed? That just plain doesn't make sense.
 
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What does that mean? Also, what's wrong with "chick"? And how would you be cute when annoyed? That just plain doesn't make sense.

That is what I am saying.It doesn't make sense!
 
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Just wanted to thank everybody for their opinion on this thread.I started to change all that,and I think it is working. Although it doesn't really make me happy, but at least I will be less weird than usual...
It will be really hard to leave that world in order to live real life, but I think it is a must at this point,so that I won't regret missing real life....
Anyways thank you!
 

SpaceYeti

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MasterKaran4u

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Well I hate being touched a LOT I even stopped shaking hands with guys I try to avoid any kind of physical contact.Even my family members have a hard time to hug me or even shake hands with me my younger brother an *INFJ* who happened to be one of the closest people to me although I kinda get annoyed cause I think he doesn't give me enough space started to wear gloves to be able to shake hands with me without me complaining about it.I feel really sorry for him and my mother*an ENFP*,cause whenever they try to show how much they love me I am annoyed.At times I show them that I love them and even tell them so that they don't get me wrong,but I think it is unfair to be annoyed when they try to do the same while they accept me the way I am.Is it just me or is it an INTP thing?


Same thing happens to me also sometimes . I hate when my Elder brother touches me when i am not aware of it , it just makes me involuntary annoyed .
Advice : Dont get angry when someone touches you .....

And Do Yoga .......I know it sounds funny but I tell it Wil really REALLY help you , INTP people should do it .
 
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