I can't stay away from you....

[sheepie]

I am getting married.....

It's kind of been killing that internal world of mine, the relationship part more than specifically the marriage bit, all that commitment and time spent together. I've been realising recently how much I miss that innate ability to be by oneself in ones own little space. Be completely at ease and un-berated by all this reality crap that happens when you actually start paying attention to what's going on around you and participate in normal stuff that normal people do and as a result be expected to behave like a normal person. It's a lot of hard work!

Don't worry though, my feet, they are warm and cosy, this is just me getting the balance right so I can sustain it long term.

Anyway, Hello!

 

[Shatokan]

Normalcy is what you make it, just because society considers it normal, doesn't mean you have to.
I play with legos and would rather play rock band alone or with a close friend or two than go to a party, the world is what you make it, having a spouse doesn't change that, you can still do those things, while finding others that you love to do with your spouse too.

Your internal world never dies, it only changes.

 

[sheepie]

I do understand that just because I'm in a relationship that I don't have to leave myself behind it's just that recently I have been missing that quiet inside-ness that I used to have and I've decided to come back to it because with it comes insight and self awareness which I've been lacking recently.

 

[EditorOne]

I do understand that just because I'm in a relationship that I don't have to leave myself behind it's just that recently I have been missing that quiet inside-ness that I used to have and I've decided to come back to it because with it comes insight and self awareness which I've been lacking recently.

Most of us who have to interface regularly and extensively with the outside have this problem. At the risk of being obvious: You have to discipline yourself to seize the moments when you ARE alone to feed your inwardness. The real change isn't that you won't have such moments after you get into a relationship (or a job as a salesman, eek), it's that you won't have the luxury of indulging in such a moment whenever you want.

 

[Melkor]

Have a Pop-tart...
*Holds one out*

It'll make you feel better!

 

[Minuend]

Have a Pop-tart...
*Holds one out*

It'll make you feel better!

Dammit, Melkor, don't flash that thing in public!

 

[Cavallier]

Welcome. You are in good company. I'm in the same boat currently. It's weird to think two INTPs on this planet have somehow manage to woo somebody into marriage. Weird indeed.

Listen to E1. He's good with the advice.

 

[boondockbabe]

Most of us who have to interface regularly and extensively with the outside have this problem. At the risk of being obvious: You have to discipline yourself to seize the moments when you ARE alone to feed your inwardness. The real change isn't that you won't have such moments after you get into a relationship (or a job as a salesman, eek), it's that you won't have the luxury of indulging in such a moment whenever you want.

EditorOne is RIGHT ON. I have been married for ten years and my husband can tell you all about my "Alone Time". I had to take some of "our time" and make it "MY time". You dont have to do it this way. but do find the time somewhere. It will keep you happy,

 

[digital angel]

^ I agree with BoondockBabe. You should find some "my time" in whatever form you want. Congratulations, by the way.

 

[sheepie]

Hey thanks guys. Sorry to bring things back from the grave though! Its just really good advice! Being married has made me like exclamation marks more... comes with the territory I think. Everything's just slightly more dramatic when there's two of you.